I’ve never mourned a celebrity. I’ve been saddened by their deaths, even had my breath taken away a couple of times, but I’ve never thought to grieve it. I’ve never wanted to. It’s sad, when someone passes. It’s a tragedy for so many people, but it’s never affected me.
Not like this. Not like Naya. This is a genuine sadness that I feel in the depths of my soul, and has had me tearing up on more than one occasion. I’ve talked to one of my best friends about it a few times, we seem to share the same deep rooted sadness, and I said this one feels different. It hits harder. Maybe it’s because of how much she meant to me, as Santana Lopez. As an avid supporter of the LGBTQ. As a mom who loved her child. As a human being who just...radiated something.
I won’t lie and say I followed her work after she left Glee. I won’t say that I was her number one fan or anything remarkable outside of someone who admired her dedication to her beliefs and the way she poured her heart and soul into Santana Lopez. Santana Lopez who helped me come out, like so many others. Who gave me a sense of peace because I too was a high schooler who was lost and afraid of the hatred I carried around and couldn’t understand it at the time. But when she had that conversation with her abuela? Oh how I suddenly understood everything.
Naya became such a staple to Glee, she became so much more than the sassy background character she was casted to be. She reached out and touched so many people with her portrayal and had me crying laughing from the monologues she’d deliver (I will never get over her rant to Kurt). This is the first time I’m grieving a celebrity and it feels weird, but I’m not ashamed of it. I’m gonna cry over this one for awhile. Naya once said she wanted to play a hero because everyone perceived her as a villain...wish I could’ve had the chance to tell her she was already a hero in so many eyes, including mine.
Rest easy, Naya. Thank you for bringing Santana into our worlds.
