me.JustSayin'

wow, it has certainly been a while.. but I am back!

I don’t know for how long. but for now it is exactly what I need.

you see today marks the last day of my 25th year. I am feeling a little bit sad, a little bit nostalgic and a little bit relieved.

25 was a year of change.

(and boy, what an understatement that is)..

 Let me do a quick overview of the change I am talking about:

 I ended a seven-year relationship.

I moved back home to my parent’s house.

I earned a second bachelor’s degree in Special Education.

I long-termed subbed in a kindergarten classroom at my dream school.

I made new friends, and let go of the old ones.

I joined two recreational sports teams.

I moved out of my parent’s house and in with a best friend.

I signed a contract for a full-time teaching position for this current school year ath the same dream school as mentioned earlier.

I took a plunge into the world of dating..and found some success.

 And somehow I not only survived it all but I came out stronger. Maybe stronger isn’t the right word. I think happy is a better fit. I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and say I am proud of myself. I am proud that I didn’t give up. I am proud I tried so many new things. I am proud I discovered confidence. I am proud I worked hard to meet my goals. I am proud that I am every day closer to meeting my dreams.

 It was by no means easy. There were days I felt lost. There were days I couldn’t make sense of the change. There were days I questioned what in the world am I doing…who am I? But to sit here and reflect on this past year I am nothing but grateful for it.

 I am grateful for my family. They stuck by my side. They were patient. They accepted my need to discover myself again. They listened. And most importantly they loved me- even in those moments I was difficult and confused.

 I am grateful for the handful of first dates I went on. While some were more heartbreaking than others I learned that confidence is attractive. I learned I am more of a social person than I ever allowed myself to be. I also learned that what feels like a spark may simply just be one moment in one day where you needed a connection.

 I am grateful for my job. I always dreamed of having a job that I looked forward to going to. One where I felt like my hard work was acknowledged. A job where I felt comfortable and that I fit. Somehow in the middle of all that chaos I landed my dream job. Even as I type this I am overwhelmed with gratitude. It’s a feeling that is a bit surreal and hard to explain.

I am grateful for letting go of my fear and embracing the change.

I am grateful for finding my happiness. I look at my life right now and think there is nothing I would change. NOTHING! Can you believe that? Is that even possible? I literally can’t think of even a small change I would make. That’s how happy I am... 

if you would have asked me how I was going to spend my 25th year I would NEVER have guessed any of the items on my list. but I look at where I am as I enter my 26th year and think bring it on. What else is in store for me?

I can’t wait to see... and I have a feeling you can’t either.

My sister and I finally had a girl's night. it is something that was WAY overdue. We did some shopping, went to our favorite restaurant and saw "This Is Where I Leave You." It was so much fun!!

**also we are definitely sisters. we showed up wearing almost the exact same outfit**

As you may know (if you have been following my blog recently) my birthday is this week. Thursday to be exact. and this year I have the honor to spend it in Washington DC!! I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate.

DC has been on the top of my travel list for pretty much my entire life. I have never been over to the East coast and I think DC will be just the right fight for me. I expect it to be epic. 

I am leaving late Wednesday night and I have a mile long to-do list before then so plan on limited to no posts this week. I will make sure to post pictures as we go and as always I will write a reflection about how it feels to be 25. At first I was like "man, I am old" but everyone I have talked to feels like I have been 25 years old for a while now so I guess I am finally acting my age?? who knows. age is relative right? I'll keep telling myself that...

Happy Week everyone!!

Talk to you soon.

xoxo, 

Happy Friday Everyone!!

I was talking to one of the teachers yesterday and she was saying how fast the days go by and slow the weeks feel. Does that make sense to anyone else because I could relate. At the end of every day I am like "man today flew by I can't believe it is already over" but every morning I am like "it's only wednesday", or "it's only tuesday" or my favorite, "is it friday yet"?

Anyways, although the week has dragged ever so slightly it was still a good one. and my birthday is only TWO weeks away. sweet.

1. My sister finally tracked down a Target near us that sells our favorite Kind bar. Caramel Sea Salt. it is as good as it sounds, I promise. She bought me a box and I can't wait to devour it.

2. I played another big point word in scrabble. It was by total surprise. One of those I wonder what will happen if I put the z right there.... well it accepted "zine" as a word even though I am still thinking it shouldn't have.

3. My cousin was out in Washington D.C. this week as a representative for the American Cancer Society. As a part of raising money and awareness they organize a luminary walk where people buy bags ahead of time and decorate them. She was able to find the ones I made...

4. Wednesday was a really long day with work and class. I got home late and was ravenous. Sitting on the counter was a plastic spoon from yo mammas. I began to cry in envy that my boyfriend had gone without me. Turns out it was a surprise for me. He layered four of my favorite flavors!! #BoyfriendOfTheYear

5. My boyfriend is being featured in his first gallery night tonight!! I am so proud and excited for him. You can find out more information about his work at https://www.facebook.com/LyraPhotographyWI?fref=ts or look up Lyra Photography on Facebook and follow him. He does some pretty amazing stuff!!

well that's all for now. I hope your weeks treated you well and went by fast! Enjoy your friend and more importantly enjoy your weekend.

Talk to you soon.

hello friends. I just wanted to check in and say it has been a pretty uneventful week thus far.

I am extremely busy. extremely tired. and extremely happy. I absolutely LOVE my job and get more and more excited for each day as they come.

I had no idea how much fun it would be to get to know EVERY kid in the school. It's such a nice feeling to walk down the halls and know every person who walks by. It makes me feel so good. and as usual the kindergarteners are giving me such an ego boost this year.

my self-esteem is at it's all time high! :)

I hope your week is going well! 

Talk to you soon.

hello monday.

boy you came fast.

my weekend was very nice and relaxing, just what I look for in a weekend.

Saturday I ran my tenth annual Briggs and Stratton Al's Walk for Children's Hospital. while I didn't feel ready and was a bit nervous about what the 8k might do to me, I finished it in record time. It was a great way to kick off the day.

Later in the afternoon Max and I went to Ikea to pick out picture frames for his up coming gallery night. I have not been to Ikea in YEARS! On the way down I was given strict instructions that we were going to picture frames and that was it. I was not able to leave Max's side or wander off to look. In doing so he would buy me an ice cream cone at check out. I agreed. hesitantly.

well, for those of you who have been to Ikea you that it is every girl's dream. It's not the kind of place where you can just run in and out quickly without catching a glimpse at what it has to offer. The trip started off just as planned. We went right to picture frames and stood there debating between which ones to get. When we finally got it all figured out Max went to the bathroom.

this was my chance. I had about three minutes to wander and grab as much as I possibly could. It was like I was on supermarket sweep, running to find the best deals possible!! 

The restrooms were conveniently placed near the kitchen area. I quickly went up and down the aisles grabbing things I liked. I ended up with a glass casserole dish, some patterned drinking glasses, a tea steeper, a few candles and a pack of washcloths. I snuck the items into our cart and went back to waiting.

I was not as sneaky as I thought. I was caught red handed. Max beat me to our meeting area and was less than thrilled about my little adventure. but I didn't care. I just HAD to. It was so hard to stand there watching everyone else shop and not participate!!

In the end I was not able to get an ice cream cone. but it was totally worth it. I am already planning my return to Ikea where I can actually take my time and shop. Now I just need a bigger apartment...

On another note, Max began regretting his decision not to buy me a snack in Ikea when I began complaining about how hungry I was. We stopped for Jamba Juice and I veered from my usual order of the Caribbean Passion with an energy boost and settled for the Berry Booster which had fruits AND vegetables. I decided I was better off not knowing exactly what was in it and just enjoying the flavors. which I did.

Sunday was spent doing laundry, working on homework and cleaning. Nothing too exciting but a perfect way to get ready for my busy week.

Hope you had a nice weekend!! Have a wonderful Monday!

Here is the big reveal to my early birthday present to myself!! 

The Lulu Lemon Vinyasa scarf.

I have been drooling over this scarf since the first day I ever saw it. A friend of mine was wearing this exact scarf and I was like "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT! IT'S TOTALLY AMAZING. I NEED IT NOW" and she was like "oh it's from lulu lemon but like a couple of years ago." well my heart shattered at those very words.

a couple of years ago.

The dream I had was short lived but the obsession grew. I had to find it or at least something similar to it.

I started on the Lulu Lemon website where I found the scarf but in a sky blue and navy stripe. Even though I liked it they weren't my ideal colors. I wanted the black and grey.

So instead of ending my search there and allowing myself to be defeated I searched ebay. They were almost double the price.

I had no choice. all resources were used up. I needed to part ways with my dream, justifying to myself it was summer coming up and I wouldn't wear the scarf anyways.

Who needs the most perfect scarf?

scarves are so last year, right?

yeah. none of those justifications made me feel better. and none of them were true either.

 let's fast forward through summer and start this story back at the point of two days ago. The scarf re-appeared in my brain as I am thinking about the changing weather and the fall options out there. For some reason I wandered onto Lulu Lemon's website and sure enough they had the scarf. in the color I have been longing for.

The angels above me were singing.

my bank account was telling me to buy it.

the calendar was convincing me I could call it an early birthday present to myself.

I told myself people spend more money on jewelry. and a scarf is pretty much a necklace, right?

I immediately called my friend and was like is it in stock in stores yet. I need this right now. sure enough they had just gotten a very small shipment in. So I went after work the next day and purchased the scarf. We have been attached at the neck (get it?) ever since.

I plan on wearing this thing every day for the rest of my life.

I am not sure why my pictures look like they were taken through a potato but regardless you get the idea behind what I am trying to show.

so yesterday was a bit frustrating for me. I am realizing that right now the most difficult part of my teaching is coordinating schedules and commitments with lots of other adults. Going into this year I knew I would be wearing lots of "hats" and playing lots of different roles but it never occurred to me the communication it would take to get me to where I ultimately want to be. (we could play a drinking game with the amount of to's in that sentence)...

It is difficult because I know that everyone has my best interest at hand. but it's hard to balance everyone's opinion. and please everyone. including myself.

now that I got that off my chest (here I was trying to put together a nice. uplifting post and it turned into a total therapy session)....

to the real point of this post.

my wonderful neighbors have left me yet another breath-taking, tear-jerking, love filled gift at my door.

I guess the beginning story isn't completely pointless. It gives you the background knowledge to the mood I was in when I got home. (a little bit overwhelmed and a lot bit crabby).

There was a gift bag sitting on the doorstep with my name on it. Instantly I knew who it was from. and instantly my mood became much cheerier.

I proceeded to open the bag and find a binder. I am thinking to myself maybe this is some old lesson plans she found that she wanted to pass along.

hmmm maybe this isn't a binder after all. It kind of looks like a photo album. Maybe they are old photos she wants me to have. That seems a little strange and somewhat too intimate...

fine, I will stop guessing already and just open the binder looking object.

I open the cover and find the page that says "Some memories of my first year of teaching." Let me just tell you I teared up at this point. and am doing so right now re-living the moment to tell you. It was so sweet to see. but for some reason it hadn't hit me she was referring to my first year of teaching not hers. I had been expecting to see documentation of her first years but then I realized no, this is for me to document my own experience. This is when the real emotion set in.

I am a teacher.

I am a grown-up.

I am a mentor.

I am a fashionista (so my seventh/eighth graders say.)

I am someone who has a whole lot of love (and thoughtfulness) in my life.

so after all of this passed I took a deep breath (which I am doing right now as I type) and I move forward. I found another page with loose leaf paper that had the date of my first day of school. Attached read a note:

"Record this very special day before it grows the least bit faint"

the tears streamed again.

It was so nice to know she was thinking of me, especially because she herself was a teacher back in the day. and I often think to myself that I hope she would be proud if she came into my classroom and saw how I taught.

holy sappiness.

let's all close our eyes and think of rainbows and unicorns for a second. (or if you are like me endless amounts of sales and amazing clothes to buy)...

This little surprise meant the world to me. It is something I will absolutely fill out and cherish as I look back on this new year of firsts!

Happy Wednesday Friends! Now that the week is half way over we can start making plans for the weekend! (what does it mean that I am only two weeks into school and I already dream about the weekend?)

Talk to you soon!

xoxo, Molly