This has been weighing on me for a while, and at first I didn’t want to pursue it or even think of pursuing this decision, trying my best to just keep pushing through in hopes that I’ll one day find the spark that I used to have for this corner of the internet—but it’s just not working.
I haven’t felt anything for any of my writings in a long while, and it’s safe to say i’ve lost all my spark for katseye, too. It’s unfortunate because this fandom is the first one where I ever truly felt seen, and the first one where I was able to meet such incredible people. But alas, I guess everything does have an end, and mine just came quicker than I’d initially anticipated.
Adding onto that, my mental health has been deteriorating, and it’s already began to bleed into my physical wellbeing.
It’s hard for me to balance my personal matters with writing and just being online in general, you can see it clearly in my inconsistent posting schedule. I hated how I always made you all wait, feeling like I needed to get something out as quick as I can because I’m afraid that I’ll be forgotten. Clearly, this mindset had done nothing but burn me out, and only quicken the erosion that I was withholding from this community.
I don’t wanna say this is permanent, or that i’m never returning, or that you’ll never hear from me again. I wanna keep that door open, just in case I ever want to make a return, though I have my doubts that I ever will. I won’t delete this account, or my works, because I’d done that before and a part of me still regrets that careless decision to this day.
I’ll be leaving it up just in case anyone wants to scroll through, read my works for nostalgia’s sake, or if they think my writing is interesting. Adding onto that, I’ll do my best to republish whatever little fics I do have still lying around.
I’m sorry if this comes off as abrupt, knowing that some of you only found this now, but I need to put me, and work on my issues first for once.
Thank you for reading, thank you for staying with me throughout my journey, thank you for giving me the time of day, and thank you for caring. I’m sorry if this is incoherent. Have a lovely day, afternoon, or night.
( so sorry for the tags ) @meirries @sacredgene @bannerwoman ( ♡⃘ ) @uchuhzini @miagamegirl @lovelee4u @fein4lararaj @manonsdoe + everyone else.
Thank you all for giving me a place in this community, please take care of yourself, and know that you’re never ever going to be alone, even if it feels like you are, even if it feels like the world is pressing down on you. You matter, you’re amazing, and I care for you deeply.
