Bexzy

first of all, to watch the witcher you need to replace your expectation of “good” with “totally unhinged.”

the show is about henry cavill in extremely tight clothing, carrying around a broadsword, facing moral dilemmas, fighting monsters, and having sex. he takes a potion before every fight (which isn’t explained) and no one in the story ages (which also isn’t explained) so people’s parents and grandparents look the same age as their progeny. 

the witcher is not a monster of the week show, nor does it have a coherent ongoing arc. it is not told in chronological order. most of the things that happen are unrelated to everything else that happens. the timeline might happen over weeks, decades, or centuries, and none of that is explained. lore is told in fits and bursts and makes no sense at all. the first episode is absolutely useless and you should not judge the rest of the season based on it, but it has a great sword fight and geralt (that’s henry cavill in extremely tight clothing) talks lovingly to his horse. that’s it. that’s the show.

what is important to know is that the season is adapted from short stories set before the events of the book series. so it’s not season 1 as much as season 0, which is why it feels like nothing is connected or makes sense. it’s a primer to what i’m assuming the next season will be (and i think/hope the fandom will really take off). 

everyone seems to have boners for everyone else. most of the characters are women and they are all absolutely feral. the showrunner is a woman, and most of the eps are written and directed by women. it’s like watching a really wild fanfic come to life. what i love about it is that it’s just so fucking weird. every expectation i had going into it was shattered, and even the moments that were cheesy or boring or cringey or dumb i found somewhat endearing. now that i’m done watching it, i kind of want to watch it again, which is something i rarely do. after every episode i thought, “i really don’t like this, and i don’t want to watch anymore.” and after every episode, i clicked play on the next. 

if you like hot beefy men who are deeply misunderstood as being the bad guy but are actually good-aligned, you’ll like the witcher. if you like complicated, all-powerful, borderline-evil female characters who are greedy and heartless and have ample room for growth, you’ll like the witcher. if you like isolated men who are chased by endearing comedic relief sidekicks, you’ll like the witcher. if you like stories in which seemingly self-centered men are made to become paternal toward helpless beings, you will like the witcher. if you want to ship everyone with everyone else and be totally overwhelmed by attractive people doing attractive things, you will like the witcher. if you like catchy bops that will be stuck in your head for 87 years, you’ll like the witcher.

One doesn’t possess one, but one can employ one, if one has any monsters that need hunting.

They need coins to exchange for goods and services, just like everyone else.

The Witcher is entirely unhinged and I fucking loved it.

Also if the feral women and beefy men haven’t convinced you, try the adorable bisexual bard:

While the above posts are all incredibly correct, the thing that got ME into the show was that it’s the story of a man who refused to make a choice, and he’s been paying for his wilfull inaction ever since. And I love it.

TO WHICH, everyone in my house said, “it’s an election year, geralt, get your shit together.”

also this post needs some images of the feral women because they are magnificent

Jaskier is the comic relief character who refuses to believe he is not the main character.

Yennefer would straight up tell you she’s the main character, bitch. Geralt? Geralt who?

Sometimes suspense is worth it, even if it means serving your audience the entire plot on a silver platter:

In Romeo and Juliet, the audience knows Juliet isn't dead. Romeo does not. It's a tragedy.

In the TV-show Breaking Bad, a DEA agent is looking for a crystal-meth producer who calls himself ''Heisenberg,'' not knowing that ''Heisenberg'' is his brother-in-law.

In the play Oedipus Rex, Oedipus tries to expose the murderer of King Laius, not knowing that he himself is the murderer.

That my friends, is what we call dramatic irony. A literary device in which the audience's understanding of certain events or individuals in a story surpasses that of its characters.

What I mean by that is simple — not every plot twist or plot line that occurs in your story has to come as a surprise to your audience.

It's not in any way wrong to drop important information ahead of time. Sometimes the best way to tackle a twist is simply to let your audience in on what's happening. Let them anticipate the emotional reactions of the characters. In certain cases, that can be torture. Which is a good thing. Storytelling wise.

You'll still have your audience at the edge of their seats, not out of suspense of what's going to happen, but out of fear, and excitement, of how the characters they've grown to love are going to react to it.

For all they know, the plot twist, and I am using plot twist loosely, it can just as well be a secret big enough to destroy a relationship, but not something that is going to affect every character, could potentially ruin everything.

It can turn characters against each other, massive consequences to follow. Maybe a certain character is heading towards a certain death, maybe their partner is falling in love with someone else, unaware of their partner’s infidelity.

Maybe a character is enjoying a nice day out at the park, not knowing that previous night a herd of zombies marched through. Instantly alarm bells starts ringing — the apocalypse is upon us. When is the character gonna find out? How are they gonna to find out?

Worst part — a close family member of the character has already fallen victim to the undead, and now, having been missing for a couple days, is approaching said character from behind, reanimated as a zombie. We’ve already seen this person bitten and turned, but for the character, it's a different story.

Your audience are emotionally invested in your characters. Use that to your advantage.

To have your audience sit on a a piece of information, not knowing how it's going to affect their favorite characters and relationships, can have just as much of an emotional impact as a ''regular'' plot twist.

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

It would be more accurate to say “Tumblr is not the entirety of reality.”

Because, and I want to stress this, Tumblr is, in fact, real. It has the capacity to help, and it has the capacity to hurt. Most of the people that have been driven off didn’t leave because they just weren’t having fun anymore, they left because they were being hurt and chose not to continue being hurt.

audience: wow, can’t believe that scrooge hates having fun.

dickens: literally every relationship he’s ever had has been ruined because he cared more about making money than about other people. 

audience: can’t believe a guy cut off his whole family because he doesn’t like tinsel.

dickens, growing more frustrated: he’s so obsessed with profit that he won’t even heat his own house if it costs him money! he complains about losing a single day of income from businesses being closed on christmas! CHRISTMAS IS A METAPHOR FOR BEING A DECENT PERSON!

Cartoon by Matt Wuerker

in Promise when adora called octavia a “dumbface” just to throw her lot in with catra. the essence of the promise itself, “as long as we have each other.” in 5x03 when catra misses dinner and adora’s like “okay then i am, too!” even with scars still fresh on her face. its like… when they were just kids… when things were simple between them before shadow weaver got in their heads…… love was just, if you’re hurting, then i’m hurting too. where you go, i go. isnt that all love really is anyway ?

we see this theme again when adora jumps off the ledge after catra with no idea if she’d survive. when catra jumps into fire for her, when she decides to sacrifice herself alongside her. idk why the gravity of catras words in 5x12 is just now hitting me where she was like “i made a promise to adora a long time ago that i’d look out for her and it’s time i made good on it.” i think i used to read it as them saying they’d always protect each other, but really it was more about just.. being with each other. catra choosing to stand by adora’s side, to either live or die with her.. it was their promise. “nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.” adora had never given up on it and now catra’s faith was restored in it too. and it was finally fulfilled when their kiss saved the world.

i didn’t realize how much work this was until i snuck down late one night for a cookie. and saw my mother bent over my giant book of ciphers and muttering to the dog “is this another code or can she not spell?” (i could not and still can not spell) and i was a bit angry at first but i kept watching and she KEPT AT IT. checking everything in that book against my letter and i never felt so loved. my mom with a full time job sitting up to figure out my silly letters said just because i enjoyed the game. 

i got her this bio of james madison a few years ago for xmas with a simple number substitution cipher on the inside saying “In thanks for your dedicated years of service, your daughter and occasional President.” She still has it pride of place on her desk next to the obligatory kid pics