one of my absolute favorite things is the complete lack of control i'd have the moment i let someone penetrate me.
just imagine it: on my back, legs spread for someone, maybe even in a mating press with my legs pinned against my chest. whether i want them in my pussy or not is irrelevant, because even if i fight and kick and scream, i'm not strong enough to get away. they penetrate me with their cock and my pussy takes it, just like she was made to.
i was literally built to do this, to be penetrated, and even if i did want it, i have no say in what happens now. they could cum inside me and there's nothing i can do to stop it. they could get me pregnant on complete accident, but is it really even an accident at this point? or was my fate sealed the second they pressed inside me?
just. it's so hot to think about the complete lack of control i have over my body once there's a cock inside me. once they cum inside me my fate is sealed; i'm Going to get pregnant, because that's what i'm Meant to do. it's just nature, it's just how my body's designed.
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IVF clinic that responds to a new law demanding they don't discard any """"babies"""" (fertilized eggs) by partnering w the state to impregnate prisoners.
It's a fun new punishment for breaking the new laws banning transition! Get them as pregnant as possible, for the rest of their miserable lives! That's what they get for trying to deny their purpose!
But trans people are rare, and there's so so so many eggs in storage, and more made every day. So the staff start sneaking more and more eggs per pregnancy into the prisoners. Sure, they are now pushing(or breaking!) records for most multiples carried, but well. It's not like anyone who matters cares. In the eyes of the law, the more pain, the better!
And obviously they don't get to go to an Actual Hospital or get any pain medicine. They give birth, naturally, in the prison ward. If there's room. If not, they can do it in their cells. For their sake, hope their roommate doesn't get too annoyed by the noises. And that the guards don't notice, and decide to have some fun :)
(anon is trans masc and pro choice this is coping kink)
i love this so much. i'd visit prisons all the time if this was going on there
It's like a draft system: every woman is automatically enteted at birth and when they turn a certain age they're then available for selection until a certain age. How they get selected could be done multiple ways. Option one could be the random birthday draw, where a random date is drawn and every woman not pregnant and available for a pregnancy has to get impregnated. Or it could be a randomly generated list of people to fill a quota, who are then notified that they've been selected. There's probably more ways to do it, but I'm horny and tired.
They can either choose to have a baby with a person of their choosing (who has to accept), be randomly assigned a volunteer, or be impregnated via IVF. If they choose the two natural ways, they have a certain period of time to get pregnant until they're forced to do it artificially.
After pregnancy is confirmed, they're given a monthly stipend and assigned a government OB-GYN who'll monitor their progress aside from being a normal OB-GYN. The pregnancy progresses as normal, the draftee gives birth with government supervision, either at home with a government midwife, or at a hospital. When the baby's born, they can decide to keep it and raise it or give it to an orphanage so they can go about their lives.
For multiples, I'm thinking it gets you a "get out of a pregnancy" card for however many you had. Twins? If you get drafted again, you don't need to that time! Triplets? No need to worry about getting drafted a third time! Quads? If you somehow get drafted a fourth time, you get off free too!
I just remembered an idea I had a while ago about a future where they invented a permapreg system that would create robots in the womb. It was marketed towards middle aged people who already had a few kids as entertainment, birth control, and a good side hustle all at the same time. Once inserted, the owner of the device could control the progression of the “pregnancy”, how many robots were being made at a time, and pretty much all facets of the experience. The robots would be fully functional at birth and could either be kept as servants or sold to other people or back to the manufacturer of the device. It was easy to insert too. You just inserted a little pill into the vagina. It could even create an artificial womb for people without one.
Of course I also thought of a scenario in which a man inserted one into his partner without their knowledge. As the partner starts to notice changes in their body, they go to the doctor to figure out why. The doctor informs them that they ‘ve had a permapreg system installed. They immediately freak out and guess what happened. They ask the doctor to remove it. The doctor says he needs permission from the device’s owner to do so. They are not the device’s owner. Their boyfriend is.
They go home and immediately get into a fight with their boyfriend. They want to break up with him. They can’t believe he would do this without their consent. They tell him they’re going right back to the doctor together to get it removed. The boyfriend laughs. “No way. You’re keeping it. You can break up with me if you want. But you should remember who has control of your womb..” He threatens. They try to storm out the door anyway. Immediately their stomach starts growing. Their belly quickly rounds out and expands, angry red stretch marks covering the surface. They can feel the movement of multiple robots squirming in their womb, meant to simulate a real pregnancy. They moan and brace themselves against the door frame.
“I think I’ll keep you like this for a while. What do you think? If you’re good, I’ll let you give birth in maybe a month or so. You’re not gonna get very far with a big belly like that, so you might as well just stay here. We’ll sell the robots when you’re done. It’ll make up for you being unable to work. And of course, you’ll owe me for covering the rent and utilities too…”
I feel so vulnerable with a pussy. Spread my legs open, part my lips and look at my helpless vagina, fully open and exposed. Nothing can stop a cock from entering my defenseless pussy, my soft walls giving in to anything that penetrates me. It reaches deeper into my warm, wet heat and rests fully sheathed with the head nudging my defenseless womb. I have no control over whether or not they cum deep inside me, pouring cum through my cervix, inseminating me. My pussy can be used for its purpose whenever a cock wants to take it.
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I know I'll panic when the belly grows and I can't stop thinking about that I'll have no choice but to give birth if I just let it grow past a certain point. It is so hot and scary.
It's so intense, realizing that you can't stop what's going to happen. Looking at a positive pregnancy test and knowing that if you don't get help from an outside source, you don't have any more say over what your body does. This baby is just going to grow, changing your body so completely and utterly. Your chest, your belly, your hips, even your pussy growing, swelling, transforming into the maternal version of yourself.
All leading to that climactic moment. Realizing you're really in labor. Realizing that you're actually, for real, about to give birth. That what you're feeling, this painful pressure and cramping and squeezing, everything throbbing down between your legs, is your body telling you it's time to have this baby, trying to open you inside enough for you to push and grunt and sob this baby out.
It doesn't matter anymore if it makes you feels dysphoric. If it reaffirms your masculinity. If it's your worst nightmare come true, even more overwhelming and painful than you could have possibly prepared for, or if it's impossibly intimate and feels right, pure and primal in a way you could never have imagined. This baby is coming. All you can do is spread your legs and give into the relentless urge to push. To feel that massive head bulge you, spread you wide, and slither out of your most sensitive, personal place...
I was randomly thinking to myself as an asexual that being in the DOLworld would fucking suck ass, and so I wondered how the NPCs would react to asexuality and I came up with this.
How the DOL characters react to you being asexual!
Robin: "Oh… Um… Maybe you'll find the right one, one day? I'm sorry…"
Sydney: "…You feel no sexual temptation? I can't imagine… I'm sorry, it's just that the temple teaches that celibacy is virtuous, yes, but only when it comes from self-discipline against carnal desire… Not when you're… I'll pray for you, alright?"
Kylar: "My love? Asexual? O-Oh, I get it. You only want me, right? And no one else… Oh, my beloved, don't look at me like that, y-you have so much more to give for just me, don't you? Right?"
Whitney: "You won't be asexual for long, slut."
Sirris: "Oh, you say you're asexual? Ah, there are many valid sexual orientations you can be, but I'd urge you to not be so quick to label yourself as asexual. Perhaps you may need some informational pamphlets on sexual shame? I made these for Sydney, but they've never touched them."
River: "Asexual? Without sex? Good. Nice to know that someone your age isn't so preoccupied with filth like so many others are."
Doren: "You can be asexual, if that label makes you feel any better."
Winter: "You know, many people claim to be asexual. I'll see to it that you refrain from such perversions if you truly think you're 'ace' as you say you are."
Mason: "That's… Nice for you, I guess?"
Leighton: "Claiming that you're asexual won't stop me from exposing what a pervert you truly are."
Bailey: "I don't give a shit if you're asexual and don't want to sell your body as long as you find a way to pay your debt. At least it'll keep you from making too many bad choices."
Wren: "Asexual, you say? Mind if I challenge that, just to see?"
Alex: "I don't know what asexual means, but if you're saying you're one of those temple folk who don't sleep with others, that's just fine. You don't have to enjoy it, but you can still put up with it, right?"
Avery: "Are you saying you're not attracted to me? Clearly, you must be delusional. I don't want to hear anymore about it."
Eden: "No you're not."
Gwylan: "Asexuality is a prison of the mind, dear. Let me know you how to free yourself…"
Landry: "You're ace? Figures. Most people in this town see being asexual as a challenge. Just look out for yourself."
'Mickey': "…So I'm not the only one, it seems. Good-good."
Jordan: "The temple believes that purity is a state the soul enters when it is untarnished with lust. For many, the vow of chastity is a battle against these forces, yet I must admit that I too have never felt the call of the flesh. Perhaps you are being led down a similar path."
Harper: "Well, you'll be pleased to know that I know exactly how to cure such an ailment… Now, count backwards from ten."
Remy: "Cows don't speak."
Great Hawk: "Spouse does not want to mate? Then spouse will not be forced. Great Hawk only wishes to share nest."
Black Wolf: "No. Mating is how pack bonds."
Ivory Wraith: "Now listen to me orphan, I am talking directly into your ear now. I need you to do me a favor. You will do this for me. I need you to go to Quinn's office, and I need you to ask the bastard working the counter if they have the Ivory Necklace. If you come back empty handed, you'll be in big trouble. You will never see the light of day."
Anon holy shit, this is so fucking good. Asexual and/or sex-aversed PC definitely ain't having the time of of their life in DoLtown, unfortunately.
Fucking love what you do with Ivory Wraith, that got me cackling. Fucking Eden and Remy are just "No.", which checks out. On the other hand, you could probably have neopronouns and Bailey still would only care if you're making money or not LOL, motherfucker got their priority straight.
As always, we got a common Landry, Mickey, and Great Hawk W's 🔥🔥🔥
Once I met a trans man off of craigslist personals, back when that website was still up. “t4m - looking for bare sex” was the title. Now, I’m not a discriminating man - I’ll fuck anyone with a pussy, as long as they’re willing to fuck raw and let me shoot my seed inside them. I met him, we had a couple drinks, and when we got to my bedroom, he said he didn’t want bare sex after all, that he was ovulating and it was too risky.
I said fine, and we made out and fucked a bit with a condom on. Then, I ate him out for a while, and I asked him to suck me bare with no condom, since that feels really good. He complied, and as he was sucking me, I said we should do some external rubbing, teasing my cock against his pussy. This is usually a good strategy for sluts who really want your bare cock inside but are feeling hesitant. I’ve found it works on women, on trans men, anyone with a pussy.
He looked nervous, but he was so eager and horny his lust overtook his common sense. He told me to go ahead, and he lay back, angling his cunt up for me, his face flushed with anticipation. As I rubbed the head of my cock along his vulva and clit, I lightly pushed the tip of my cock against the entrance to his vagina each time I passed the tip of my cock over it. I teased him, over and over again, and every time his hips buckled up toward me, I let him push against me for just a moment before pulling back.
His breathing got heavier and heavier, until he started saying “more! more! go deeper!”
That’s when I knew I had him. I slipped the tip of my cock into his vagina, and out again, not going very deep at all. His eyes were alive with lust, and he kept begging me to go harder begging for more. Every few strokes I would go deeper and deeper until I was bottoming out in his cunt with each stroke, and we were both moaning with pleasure. At last, I was fucking him bare, going all the way in, feeling my cock push deep inside his pussy.
God, it felt so good, and his eyes widened with excitement and pleasure as he gave in to his primal feelings and let me enter him all the way over and over again. “Yes!” he moaned as he felt me slide into him, his wet hot pussy clenched around my throbbing cock.
As I got closer and closer to cumming, I warned him, but he was too lost in pleasure to do anything but beg for him to cum inside him. I happily obliged.
After that, he knew he was too far gone to make any pretense of protected sex with me. We fucked twice again that night before I drove him home in the morning, and both times I came inside him as he greedily wrapped his legs around me, begging for my seed.
Nothing makes me stupid like having a cock teasing my hole. The tip sliding between my wet folds but not quiiiite catching the right angle to pop in. Each thrust grinds on my clit and is never enough to make me cum, just edging me closer and closer. The underside of his cock getting slick with my precum as he slowly thrusts along my vulva, not penetrating just feeling the heat of my hole slide by as he uses my soft labia to stroke his shaft.
Back and forth, back and forth, just barely staying outside of me, thrusting his hips as he looks down at me. I’m squirming and rolling my hips, feeling how close the tip of his dick comes to my sensitive opening each time. Each pass I want to be the one he finally takes me and each time it isn’t, I get more wound up.
This wasn’t what we agreed on, but his bare cock feels so good on me, and it is so close it is driving me batty. I can’t think, I’m too lost in feeling the head dig a little deeper into my hole this time but again it slides on past my entrance to rub against my painfully sensitive clit…
And then when the tip of his dick finally does catch on my entrance and pauses. We both know that he could sink his cock all the way into me if he choses to. I have no more say in the matter, he is lined up with his head nestled in my vulva and I couldn’t dodge his cock if I tried now.
And he does it. He presses his hips forward so his cock sinks into my wetness. My soaked pussy squelches as it parts for him.
Sometimes guys play it off like an accident, even as they slowly push their cock in further, as if they hadn’t noticed they were slipping into my hot, wet hole. They were just rubbing and rubbing turned into just the tip baby and just the tip turns into full on fucking, because you’re already inside me anyways.
There’s no going back now, you’re all the way inside me, so I might as well let you keep fucking me, not that I could get you off of me if I tried. It feels so good, your skin on mine, your cock working my cunt as I wrap my legs around your hips. I’ve given up on being safe. I know you’ll probably cum inside me, even if that’s really not what we agreed on. I’m overpowered by lust and your cock just feels so goddamn good in my pussy! I cum on your cock repeatedly while you steadily work towards your own orgasm.
You pull out and flip me over, face down ass up, and slam your cock back into my hole. I’m not even thinking about consequences now, I’m just enjoying being ridden until your thrusts get frantic and your grip on my hips tightens, holding me against you while your shudder and gasp, your cock pulsing in my cunt, pumping your load into me.
You rest your body on mine, breathing heavily, cock softening inside me. You let the weight of your body hold me there a while, until you finally decide you’re are done with me and let me up to get a full breath. I don’t even try to clean your seed from my hole now.
thinkin abt havin a bf that asks me so many invasive questions abt my vagina n says hes just curious bc he doesn't have one n wants to know how it works but rly he just likes makin me rly dysphoric bc it makes my vagina so wet so its easy for him to slide right into me 😓
He is just curious. That's why he always wants to look at it and put his fingers inside you, more and more, marveling at how you stretch open and the little noises you make.
He hasn't gotten his whole hand inside you yet, but he wants to see if he can, but in the meantime, he can touch your cervix, that firm little pucker that feels so good rubbing against the head of his cock.
In fact, that would feel really good right now. And since you are already so open and wet, it would be a waste not slide his hardening cock between your folds and deep into your hole. Feel his pelvis press against yours as he holds himself deep in you.
"It's ok baby, look down, look at how neat it is, how your soft lips are spread around my cock as I thrust into you."
He takes your hand and makes you touch yourself, feeling where his body enters yours, pressing two of your fingers inside along his cock. Feel how tight you are around his cock inside you and your soft small fingers.
it’s really beautiful how my female body responds to sexual intercourse.
even just feeling a brush of my boyfriend’s hard penis against my body activates my female reproductive system for mating. i can feel my clitoris begin to stiffen and grow sensitive, my vagina begins to drip and relax to invite his cock inside, and i’m overwhelmed by the urge to lay back and spread my legs so he can’t resist penetrating my pink, wet, clenching pussy.
once he’s truly claiming my pussy, on top of me holding my body bent in half so he can slam his penis in and out of my babyhole at will, it feels so right to surrender all control of the situation and accept that being female means he can do whatever he wants to my body, and that my body now exists to lay there helpless and pleasure his cock. even if i tried to push him out, the contractions of my vagina would only further stimulate his penis and cause him to orgasm inside of me quicker.
when i feel his breathing get heavier and his penis start to harden and lengthen, preparing to inseminate me, i feel ecstatic. my pussy naturally clamps down around his cock, causing overwhelming pleasure for both of us as he loses control and thrusts fast and hard and so deep inside that it hurts. i can always feel him harden the last bit and shove himself as deep as he can inside me to cum, following the most basic male sexual urge to impregnate a female.
nothing turns me on like his masculine grunting and moaning as he thrusts, thrusts, thrusts, and finally slams so deep he hits my cervix and pumps his semen right into it. each pump of sperm into my unprotected pussy is ecstasy. i feel whole, i feel womanly, i feel bred. he stays there with his still-hard penis inside me, making tiny little thrusts to keep pleasuring his penis with my pussy, and to make sure his sperm doesn’t leak out too much.
often he collapses on me, pinning me to the bed by my vagina, as his cock continues to throb and twitch inside me. he’ll sometimes thrust in and out a while longer, lost in enjoying my pussy the way only a man can do. i love being trapped by the weight of his body and the force of his male penis shoved inside my pussy, spreading me open, vulnerable, and making it impossible for me to leave. i wonder every time if ive finally gotten pregnant, if this is the creampie that makes me a mother.
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in certain species, ovulation is induced via physical stimulation. imagine if humans were like that. imagine if the stimulation needed to induce ovulation was an orgasm. bottom who doesn't wanna get pregnant trying so hard not to just edge and not come vs top who is determined to overstimulate them and wring multiple orgasms out of them to make them fat with multiples.
as soon as they cum they sob that i cant cum inside them, they'll get knocked up, i have to put a condom on i have to pull out, eventually their begging devolves to just sobbing "please no stop" over and over, until finally i breed them against their wishes, knowing that it'll take
First time I've ever talked about this one. I'm a trans guy, I got top surgery four years ago and I started T two years ago. I love being trans, I love being a man. I've been with plenty of women and trans guys before, and I've been with three cis men before. I topped all three of them. Don't get me wrong, it was great to see them turn into such whiny messes under me, but..
Idk. I'm a biology major and every time we talk about mating and sex cells and impregnation, I get ravenously horny to the point where I can't pay attention for the rest of class. We watched a video explaining the process of sperm fertilizing eggs and I soaked through my boxers. And now I can't stop imagining being the whiny mess.
I've always gotten this way about anatomical terms, but now that I've found the niche on Tumblr.. I can live however I want, do whatever I want to my body, I can even put on a strap and fuck submissive cis men, and I can enjoy it. But nothing gets me going like having my anatomy pointed out to me. Clitoris, labia, vagina, cervix, uterus. Female. The words drive me goddamn crazy. And, fuck, I don't think anything would really and truly satisfy me like having my pussy fucked and bred by a fat, throbbing cock.
It doesn't help that I have an insanely sensitive cervix. Like.. it really was meant to be pounded, huh? I want a huge manly breeder to wrap himself around me and force me into a mating press and tell me how males feel the urge to dominate females, how females will instinctually submit to them, while he penetrates my vagina with his penis. I wanna feel his hard cock split me open, just like nature intended, and abuse my sensitive cervix. And I wanna feel his penis flex and throb while he ejaculates, pressed against my cervix, releasing millions of sperm into my ovulating vagina. Bonus points if he whispers into my ear about how his seeds are probably seeking out and claiming my defenseless egg while he plugs me with his dick.
There's just some things you can't forget, aren't there?
You can get your mammaries removed, but you're still a mammal: built for internal fertilization, made to give birth to live young. You can inject male sex hormones, but you'll always be the female of the species - born full of eggs, releasing them one by one, with a natural rhythm of ovulation and menstruation that's meant to give way to a natural rhythm of conception and birth.
And sure: taking testosterone can interfere with that rhythm. It can quiet it, until you can almost imagine it's gone. But many, many females before you have learned that imagining it doesn't make it so.
No matter how many submissive men you find - men willing to play your little game with you - you'll always be reminded of two things. First, that no matter how pathetic they may be, you'll always have to be careful how you fuck them - or you'll find yourself full of hundreds of millions of sperm cells pushing past your cervix, and you'll be the one whimpering nine months later, as it starts to dilate. And second, that you're smaller and weaker than nearly every male. That you can only ever play this game with men putting on a false show of weakness, and you could be helplessly stuffed full by any man who chose to show you his strength.
When a man decides to take you while you're ovulating - to show you what decades of testosterone have done for him, and remind you of what nature intended for you - you know how it'll go, don't you? You've been so focused on it.
He'll push his penis into you, and even if you aren't willing, your body will respond. Your vulva will swell and grow pink. Your vagina will lubricate and lengthen.
He'll reach climax and ejaculate inside you - five or more pulses of semen, containing up to half a billion sperm. Your cervix will be ready for it: "soft, high, open, and wet".
The sperm will swim deep inside you within minutes, through your fallopian tubes, seeking your egg. When they find it - whether it's already there, or it arrives days later - they will penetrate it, pushing their way in until one breaks through the zona pellucida.
I could go on - but you know the rest, I think. The implantation, the division, the growth. The missed period, the morning sickness. The growing belly and widening hips. Your body adapting to its new role, reshaping itself to be a good host to his growing offspring.
It begins when a man penetrates you, whispering to you what his orgasm will do to you - but the rest is all within you. From the moment that the head of his penis pushes apart your labia, your body is hard at work, doing everything it can to ensure that the egg inside you becomes a newborn between your legs.
His sperm, your egg, your purpose. Just what a female was always meant to do.
Girls, yes even "ftm" girls, bodies are literally built to take cocks, get impregnated, grow and give birth to babies. That's why you get that craving deep inside of your core, craving being penetrated. And every month when you ovulate you desire unprotected sex. You tell yourself its not because you want to get bred, but you do. Your going to get inseminated, its what you're literally built for. Gender identity or sexuality doesnt matter, its just your truth. Stop fighting and live your truth.
the thing about pregnancy is i don’t want it. it would make me so dysphoric. but i also crave it so much. i fantasize sooo much about my stomach swelling up and my tits getting all full of milk. getting more and more feminine every day as my body does what it was made to do. i need the choice taken from me. make me into a first time mom against my will.
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Have you ever had a man rest his hard cock on your belly before he sticks it in your pussy? Did you realize just how deep inside you a man can reach? (Anal of course giving you far greater depths to explore.)
But look at how deep his cock can go inside of you until it touches your womb. Think about that next time he flops his erection over your tiny little clit.
No man in your life to try this? Then rest one of your dildos on your belly baby. Take a guess at how long it might be and then slowly slide that rubber cock into your pussy. Watch it disappear between your wet lips if you have a mirror handy.
If it is a toy with a nice base on it, why don't you put it on the floor and sit on it. Let gravity pull you farther down onto it. Feel that stretch, just like a real man burying his cock all the way inside you.
You were meant to take dick. That's what that sweet, wet little hole of yours has evolved to do. Recieve dick and give birth.
Today is my appointment. I don't know how or when this happened, just that I need it out of me. I cannot have a baby.
I sit in the waiting room. I can't stop myself from wincing, my stomach cramping because I haven't eaten anything since the day before, just in case. I didn't realize I would be this hungry, but it's fine. Once this little oopsie is out of me, I can pick up something tasty, go home, and take care of it.
They were so bad I couldn't keep track of time, it felt like I was sitting there forever. I started feeling like I needed to use the bathroom, but just rolled my eyes. Stupid nerves, I always felt like that when I got anxious. Hence the not eating. Though, granted, usually not so intensely.
Finally, they called my name. I stood, ignoring the pressure of the brat inside me, and followed the doctor. It was insane, once I found out I was pregnant, how full I felt. My mind convincing me I was already massive, the baby huge inside me. I almost wanted to laugh. If that was the case, my whole life would be completely wrecked. There's no way I would be that careless. But I caught it as soon as I got a little bloat and my belly got firm. I was pregnant, but not for much longer, thank god.
I got up on the table. He asked how far along I was, and I shrugged, said "probably not too far. Just a few weeks, maybe 2 or 3 months?" That need to run to the bathroom surged through me with another cramp. Geez, had I eaten something bad recently? Some slow acting food poisoning? I could barely focus on what the doctor was saying.
"...-'am? Ma'am, hey?" I blinked, trying to center myself. "S-sorry. What?" He asked if I wanted to see or hear the ultrasound, and I said no. So he set up the machine as I lifted my shirt, and he spread the gel over the small, firm bump that had filled me with dread.
The wand moved over my belly. He muttered something to himself, moved it more, when that powerful pressure and need for the toilet spiked again. Gods. It was so bad. I felt like I was dying. Some part of me heard an agonized moan escape me, and I bit my lip to stay quiet. Clutching the chair just to ground myself somewhere.
I felt a deep, base, ugly grunt forcing its way up my throat from my chest. It rippled out of me, desperate, out of control. I was so embarrassed, what the hell was happening to me?
Slowly, my reality expanded beyond my body. Something felt wrong, very wrong. Like something bad shifted down, so low, too low to be normal. "What... What's happening to me?" I panted, as I realized that the doctor had opened my legs and put them on the stirrups. Cool air between my legs told me he'd cut my panties off.
"Ma'am, may I please perform an internal examination? It's incredibly important." I nodded, just trying to breathe. I could already feel so much tension building inside me, whatever was happening clearly wasn't over. I felt a gloved finger press between my lips, making me gasp. It was so sensitive, I could feel him so vividly. Everything felt hot and tight...
He entered to the first knuckle. Then gasped. Pulled out. "What... What's happening, what's wrong?" I asked, feeling myself tear up. "How far into your pregnancy are you, again?" He asked, and I saw his eyes were wide. "I think... Something like... Six weeks? Maybe eight? Probably less. I don't... Ngh... God... God it... There's so much PRESSURE, I think I'm gonna split open if I don't get to the bathroom!!!"
The words came out a forced, guttural grunt. The doctor gently held my inner thighs. "Thaaat's it... Good, good... Don't fight it... Do what feels right, just like that... Push, big push, it's... Oh man..."
"It's. WHAT?!" I forced out through the pain, barely able to focus on anything but that damn word he said. That has slammed into the core of my being like a sledgehammer. "Push". Well I was now. Pushing with everything I had, concequences be damned.
Only it had started to burn. Ache, everything feeling so wrong. Yet I couldn't stop, kept going. "Good good... It's making good progress... It's almost over, I think..." He said, a tremble in his voice. He'd taken off his mask and gloves, I could hear every word perfectly. "Just keep going with the cramp..."
Finally, it eased. I sagged back on the table, tired, in pain, scared, confused. "What's... H-happening to me? Is this... The abortion? Did it start?" He shook his head. "No. This is... The birth. The head is crowning, hard. Here..." He reached up a hand. Guided it between my legs.
Fuck. Gods. No. Oh gods no. No no. It was slimy. And hairy. Slick with my fluids. A massive, round bulge coming out of my vagina. No no, I couldn't be giving birth. I can't have a baby! I couldn't be delivering a baby I didn't even know I was carrying, that's impossible!"
The need to push came again. The head continued to come, pressing into my fingers as I groaned, toes curling, needing this accident out of me. "Please... Please no, please no, I don't want you, I don't want a baby! I don't want to be a mom, go away!"
It didn't care. It was fully grown, and eager to be born, begin its life, even if doing so completely ruined mine.
I felt a burst of fluid. The doctor didn't even flinch, just continued soothing me. Then... The shoulders tormented their way free of me. The baby pouring from my most intimate place in a rush of fluid.
The doctor caught it. Lifted it. I couldn't look away from the cord connecting us. This baby. My baby. I grew it. Birthed it. Who's even was it? How did I not know? It was still attached, as I refused to move my hands, to pick it up. But he waited patiently.
I shook my head. "It's out now. Right? I can just... Go home?" He responded with the same gesture. "No. You're a mom now. I'm so sorry. You have to register it, put it up for adoption, at least. And that might take a bit. You'll go to the hospital now, an ambulance is on its way. People will be notified. This is your baby, at least for now."
He set it on my chest, and my heart broke. I felt the weight of this nightmare settle on me. I must be about to wake up any second now. Any moment. I came in for an abortion, so this wouldn't happen! I can't have just given birth. I can't be a mom. I can't.
I can't!
I CAN'T!!!
The baby moved. Clung to me. Rooted at my chest, which the doctor bared for me. It latched. Began to drink.
"good momma... Just like that..." He murmured, stroking my hair.
It was over. This baby was out of me.
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