I love the "you" that is in love with me...

chaotic neutral

There’s a tornado warning out (two, technically), so of course I went for a walk outside to see if I could spot it.  Never have I seen so many of my neighbors at one time, when there wasn’t a firework show or a picnic.

You flirt and kiss and for what??? Sex?????! Love?????? Pathetic.

To level my charisma stat

Ah a gamer, you may pass

I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE THE GRAPES

i need to know if this friend is actually named murphy or if they were given the nickname murphy because they’re a walking disaster

murphy’s law: if left unsupervised and uninhibited, anything which murphy can do, they will

reblogging because this will never stop being funny

“Go make your own” “STOP PANDERING TO THE GAYS” “But sir… I am a gays.”

So accurate 

He’s Florida Man.

“Place of Worship”