Probably Stoned

oh my god

i’m barely even alive im just here clicking buttons

being online rots your brain and I’m like a pumpkin from Halloween that got left out til the end of November and now has to be scooped off the porch by the oldest son with a snow shovel

One time i left a pumpkin in my closet for a whole year and didnt realize it was there until my room started smelling like a rotting animal carcass

you were probably just posting too much

They get misted with water throughout the thing, and it results in fewer injuries than the 'ladder' method. Also, it's a fish. It never knows what's going to happen to it at any point in time throughout its life.

"a mammal"

I made you a cookie but I…God, I’m so sorry. This is so difficult to say. There’s no point in lying to you. Please forgive me, but i fucking eated it. I’m so sorry.

REBLOG IF I CAN MESSAGE YOU 'HEY' AND START A FRIENDSHIP.

👀

I swear that The Onion has an oracle on their team. 

This is the wholesome content i need always