First rotation in Surgery! I went into an OR for the first time today. There was a mesh repair for inguinal hernia and a bowel resection for rectal Ca. Obviously we were not allowed to touch anything and barely understood what was going on, this only being the second day of Surgery, but I was so excited to just be there. I don’t exactly know what the allure of Surgery is but I love it. Even though it’s one of the riskiest practices, it’s still something I might want to do my MD in. Well, I’m still reserving my judgement until I finish all my clinical rotations and this is only the beginning. Long way till MD but one thing’s for sure, being in that OR made me want to learn more.
The time has come to choose. Gone through all clinical rotations, ruled out surgery, felt committed to IM, worked as a Medical Officer in CTVS for a year and I’m back to surgery again? 🫠 I feel so sure of my decision for a while and then some man goes on to remind me how difficult my life will be if I pick surgery. When will you start a family? When will you have time for your kids? You won’t even earn enough in comparison to how much you’ll have to work. .The man in question was a senior orthopedic surgeon and I have heard these things a hundred times and I expect I will have to hear it for as long as I live. And it is true I suppose? The worst part is I know whatever they say rings true. Work life balance and all that jazz. And do I really have it in me? Am I strong enough? Ready to dedicate my life to surgery? Do I have the skills? I still don’t enjoy studying anatomy. But. The OR. The OR tho. You cut someone open and fix what’s inside. It’s no less than magic. You save lives. It’s a good feeling. And really, nobody expects me to know everything right now, right? I still have years of training to go through. Literally nobody would be telling me to choose a career based on the future of my currently non-existent children if I were a man, would they? Sucks sucks sucks. And I am actually spending my time worrying about it. Let’s face it 30-40 years ago women had to hear these things before choosing ANY career besides motherhood. But they persevered, because of which, I am a Doctor today. People still question my competence when they walk in because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean I give up and let them win right. God I’m angry at this society.
