Since starting estrogen, about a third of the people I've cuddled with now smell like HAM.
I do not understand this but it makes me hungry.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"


Janaina Medeiros
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@meatpyke
Since starting estrogen, about a third of the people I've cuddled with now smell like HAM.
I do not understand this but it makes me hungry.

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Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
that’s not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose
HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE
awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
that’s not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose
HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE
If you ever put me in an Obsession type situation I'm sorry, I'm eating you on day 3.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah I know, I'd snap out of it once you're dead, too bad I commit to my endeavors it'd be a roast, fry, sashimi plate with like, potato gems probably.

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Saw the Obessession movie.
Good but I haven't seen anyone read it the same way that I settled on.
Spoilers, obviously.
...
I think Nikki was in love with Barrett the whole time but he was such a pathetic little brother to her that she felt like a groomer about it.
She knew he liked her, and she knew Sarah liked him, and she knew that he had nothing in his life not his parents not his grandma, nobody that he looked to besides her. If she dated him in his current state it would be horrendous.
She tells Sarah that she feels like she'd be taking advantage of him if they dated and that he's a little brother to her. She goes home and works on her incest horror gore love story. She gives him every chance to step up and have some agency to have some courage and become a man that she can date and he continues to be a little kid the entire fucking movie.
She is also watching this person she loved and yearned for crash and burn and become a monster that seemingly forgot how to act like a real human being.
Yes she fucks Ian - because he's Bear-adjacent and not forbidden, and because she'd go psycho otherwise knowing she could have that little brother at any time if she just. Gave. In.
It's a horror story, but it's also a love story.
...
But it's not a romance
...they're not the same thing, Bear.
Oh no! I accidentally raised this guy into a little pet that lies in the dark waiting for me to call, and I can't stop calling him because he's so adorable but I can't show him my perverted inner side because he's barely an adult human being! I don't even know if he has a personality in there or if he just acts how he think I want him to!
Oh fuck oh shit you'll never guess what happened
Saw the Obessession movie.
Good but I haven't seen anyone read it the same way that I settled on.
Spoilers, obviously.
...
I think Nikki was in love with Barrett the whole time but he was such a pathetic little brother to her that she felt like a groomer about it.
She knew he liked her, and she knew Sarah liked him, and she knew that he had nothing in his life not his parents not his grandma, nobody that he looked to besides her. If she dated him in his current state it would be horrendous.
She tells Sarah that she feels like she'd be taking advantage of him if they dated and that he's a little brother to her. She goes home and works on her incest horror gore love story. She gives him every chance to step up and have some agency to have some courage and become a man that she can date and he continues to be a little kid the entire fucking movie.
She is also watching this person she loved and yearned for crash and burn and become a monster that seemingly forgot how to act like a real human being.
Yes she fucks Ian - because he's Bear-adjacent and not forbidden, and because she'd go psycho otherwise knowing she could have that little brother at any time if she just. Gave. In.
It's a horror story, but it's also a love story.
...
But it's not a romance
...they're not the same thing, Bear.
A diplomat whose entire job is to sit in the room and think the most disturbing thoughts they can in order to dissuade mind reading.
A telepathic agent who was trained to take in all of the filth and use it to build a mental profile of the subjects in the room.
...
Years of being undersexed and overfreaked leading to the 2 most kinked up hornfreaks in existence locking eyes and forgetting their missions to engage in a one-sided mental murderfuck followed by weeks of longing to be placed in the same room again.
i hope the apocalypse happens soon. i think i could be a good housewife to a demon girl. i would greet her at the door every day when she comes home drenched in blood from reaping the souls of the innocent and damning them to hell. i would make her tasty food to fuel her carnage and i would suck her dick so so sloppy style.
People always tell me to have sweet dreams.
But like... Salty dreams?
Can I have savory dreams instead maybe?

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You're stealing my identity? You're posing as me and taking my life? Wow that's um, that's actually maybe kinda cool. Kinda sweet maybe.
No, I just don't get a lot of imposters, is all.
...
You're new around here?
...want company?
I feel like a sponge soaked full of mud and mold
wring me out
boil me
bleach me clean
You're stealing my identity? You're posing as me and taking my life? Wow that's um, that's actually maybe kinda cool. Kinda sweet maybe.
No, I just don't get a lot of imposters, is all.
...
You're new around here?
...want company?
Muzzle that doesn't have a cage just rhe base ring so the wearer can have the calming metal against her face and still eat yummy foods.
Muzzle with a detachable cage so I -uh, I mean The Wearer can wear them as an accessory outside with less fear.
Muzzle base ring that's snugly and cleverly fitted so it can be used to hold the mouth closed but also placed to hold the chin open) down, jaw open instead of closed. Like a ring gag but indirect.
My tits only speak PAIN and they are screaming at me for calories.
I'm eating ice cream as a snack twice a day so they grow big and plump. If I have to put on 20 pounds and then lose 15 in order to have large breasts, that's what I'll do
...
pudge time!

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Poly trans moment - told a customer (not unsolicited) that I spent the weekend caring for one of my girlfriends when she was sick and her boyfriend was jealous.
The customer said that me and my gf "must be close friends". Yeah lady, closer than you'd think.
I've been listening to old scream rock albums and wishing so badly that they were fem vocalized because the Evil Empathy in my brain is on fire.
The first few songs on A Death-Grip on Yesterday (Atreyu). So many old scream rock songs have the personified-inner-desire theme ugh
The entire Meaning In The Static album (On The Last Day)??? Mechsplo and you can't tell me otherwise
In Shallow Seas We Sail (Emery) aaaaaa
What Makes A Man A Man (song by Emery) is unironically something that probably saved me from suicide and I can still appreciate it from a "yeah, what means I have to be a man" angle but it sucks knowing dysphoria is standing behind me with a knife in her hand
Anyway, does anyone have good fem scream rock recommendations?