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@meaninglessscreamsintothevoid
making this account to vent and say the things i'd be shed to threads if i told them elsewhere.
unless i know and absolutely trust you it's unlikely i will tell you who i am.
i may come off as rude or bitter. that's because i'll act with way less filters that i would elsewhere.
fuck you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
i have mixed feelings on this blog's posts getting likes because it was initially made to vent silently but on the other hans i'm glad people relate
genuinely how does posting online content of cutie edits of pedophilia about characters from a fandom full of children on an app that a significant number of children use help you cope. GENUINELY. i can get venting through art. but genuinely what posting it online brings you. disguising pedophilia as a cute silly thing that's sooo romantic isn't the flex you think it is. it's even more worrying when you see the number of CHILDREN in darkship spaces. but nooooo grooming people into darkship spaces isn't a thiiiing..... and the same user i'm talking about saying recovering from darkshipping/proshipping isn't a thing because proship/darkship isn't a thing in the first place. what. are we deadass. no need to shame people who want to quit jerking off pictures of little kids be they fictional ? just because you can't doesn't mean others can't as well.
a part of being in online fandom spaces that i dislike is how it twisted my view of some things and it has become unstable and a source of stress. i get guilty very easily so i'm always ruminating about one side or another. from one side i'm tired of always worrying about whether my not 100% healthy ships and relationship dynamics qualify or not as comship because "comship" is a very vague term that ranges from "slightly toxic ship" to "bordeline rapey relationship" and of course i don't want my ships to be apart of the second one!!! i don't want to feel guilty about watching or drawing (NON-DARKSHIP!! i still dislike darkship i don't do any of this) nsfw art because it could be objectification of women or fetishization of mlm relationships or or or- what if i'm the sickest being alive for liking anthro furry smut ? what if it's actually the signs of some underlying paraphilic disorder ? all that guilt mixed with sexual intrusive thoughts is really not a good mix.
what if i did interact with darkship content a while ago and forgot ?? what if i really did and people find out and call me out and crucifies me for that ? what if i lose everyone i care about online because some past version of me i forgot about didn't have the intelligence to block or check the tags or the OG blog the content is from ?
but also, some proshippers' arguments stuck with me, i'm genuinely wondering sometimes if i'm in the wrong for not wanting to interact in any way with them because maybe it's a disorder, or trauma ! maybe that's their only way to cope ! maybe that's their only way to call for help ! what if i'm promoting censorship by thinking (not even saying but thinking) that stuff like glorified incest/rape/zoophilia shouldn't be that easily accessible and should be confined to private/specific adult spaces ? and that i think kids/teens/minors as a whole in darkship spaces is not normal ? and what if darkship content was genuinely what prevented them from executing their unethical fantasies ? am i stigmatizing mentally ill people, and thus being ableist ??
i genuinely want to be the best version of myself. and i don't want anything to do with darkship content, but i'm also tired of always wondering if whatever i did is wrong.
that and pear pressure ://
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
suicide note that says "don't let them think the haters won I just had other shit going on"
I will change the appearance of this blog soon i thiiiink
god damniiiiit i'm so dramatic over pointless shit like shut up it's not the end of the world it's just SEARCHING A FUCKING JOB you haven't even written half of what's required and people are already too disappointed on you. people are tired of me and honestly that's fair
okay so if you say fiction doesn't affect reality you've lost all my respect and you're a moron, idc.
like do you think your black and white thinking will lead you anywhere good ? are you for fucking real ?? also says a lot about your views on racist, misogynistic, and overall bigoted media.
it IS that deep.
of course i'm not saying reality equals fiction and vice-versa. but saying the two don't interact at all is equally stupid.
when you see internet users at the bare age of 13 in circles of people that encourage them to engage with pedophilic content<<<<
genuinely saw one blog with the user saying they were 13 and selfshipped with Pedobear and saying they wanted to be groomed. no girl you don't. i've never experienced heavy grooming so i'm probably not the best person to talk about it but that doesn't seem like a normal situation AT ALL. but then you'll get people defending this shit (actively encouraging the 13 y/o) because if you express concern you're an anti-kink puritan and deserve to be thrown rocks at. HOW ARE YOU OKAY WITH HAVING 13 YEARS OLD IN YOUR PLACES ????
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE MERDE
i really need to accept the fact that not everyone will like me and that it's okay, oh my god.
i'm a stupid being in need of validation and it shows--
oh wait the stomachache went away as soon as i posted that. the blog is fulfilling its purpose fuck yes
i really need to accept the fact that not everyone will like me and that it's okay, oh my god.
i'm a stupid being in need of validation and it shows--
there's really people who think i'm a proshipper (about my main) ???? BRO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU COME TO THIS CONCLUSION. I OPENLY EXPRESS THE FACT THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THEM AND THAT I HEAVILY DISAPPROVE WHAT THEY DO. WHAT.
I love thinking I'm a hater and then meeting a real hater and going wow that does not look fun actually. Going back to my lukewarm hater ways. Performative haterdom. I couldn't name five hater bands.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
the worst part is, i get what those people are coming from, but help still exists, even though i agree that it's not easy to get because you have to come to terms with your paraphilia and find a therapist able to work on those cases. and even though it may not stop completely the paraphilia, it can at least help them handle it better for their own health.
but discouraging people from seeking help is not helpful at the slightest. it just creates safe places for actual predators to come in and frequent vulnerable people.
and if drawings help you to cope, alright, i can see why, but why the need to share it to the world ?? you wouldn't post sh scars?? even though both are ways to cope they are unhealthy. but i also get that it's not easy to stop, for one like the other. that's why help is required.
and for the specific case i have in mind, while i see why they (plural) would hide, it's still violating boundaries. it's complex because it's risking to isolate them which is not good but obviously they got their people so they should stick to them.
