Shann💋

hmu for my content baby loves🤭❤️💋

The fact that this article was on week 18 is wild but so comforting, considering yesterday was when I really noticed a huge change in my body & got super in my head about it, almost back to my old mental state even.

Before getting pregnant I barely ate for 7.5 months & was extremely malnourished. At first i worked out 24/7, maybe first 3-4 months. Then my body got so weak that I was getting injury after injury until I could no longer get appropriate exercise. I remember it took both my knees about 3 months to heal from whatever damage I did there. I was so depressed but at the same time got so addicted too feeling starving & “light” that it felt worth it.

So lemme tell ya when I got pregnant and was STARVING in the first trimester, it sent my whole world into a frenzy. Basic human needs would make me panic to where I couldn’t breathe, and eating made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

So seeing my body yesterday killed me. Like all my hard work was gone. But in reality it wasn’t hard work, it was a very dangerous eating disorder I developed that took any confidence and self esteem I had left.

Even though I have gained maybe 10 extra pounds then a lady should atp in pregnancy due to starvation from beforehand, I know now it’s worth it for me and my baby to be healthy & strong. And being able to eat a normal meal without panicking is one of my biggest achievements this year ❤️

ilysm baby soll, thank u for showing me mental growth like ive never imagined. i can’t wait to meet u🫶🏻

oh hi❤️👋🏻