BORN AGAIN.

&      𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐭𝐡  𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭   .   wicker  deck  furniture. new  england  summer. large  sunglasses  and  a  blonde  bob. a  storm  over  the  ocean.  patio  umbrellas  flapping  in  the  wind.  the  smell  of  chlorine. muffled  laughter. sarcasm. starched  cuffs.  day  drinking.  bay  windows.  the  idea  of  love.  love  for  the  idea  of  love.  love  for  love’s  sake. hangovers.  wandering  over  the  sand  dunes.  a  vagabond  with  a  guitar.  fishermen  with  tattoos.  a  pretty  boy  with  a  slacked  tie.  a  lighthouse. growing  too  close.  boat  shoes. feeling  yourself  change. big,  floppy  sunhats.  double - speak.  a  song  you  keep  listening  to. turning  red  under  their  gaze.  margaritas  drank  on  an  inflatable  pool  lounger.  string  lights  on  a  balmy  night.  sleepy  june  days.  fights  you’re  unprepared  for. hope  you  weren’t  expecting. pranks  that  go  too  far.  bad  poetry.  pining. becoming  less  of  a  stranger.

&       𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐡   .   the  space  where  your  grief  used  to  be.  a  bird  that’s  lost  an  eye. old  blood  stains.  heavy  blinds.  the  smell  of  sweat. the  stillness  after  a  battle. a  fake  smile. a  curse.  the  taste  of  metal  at  the  back  of  your  tongue.  your  house,  unfamiliar  in  the  dark. a  dusty  crib.  the  smell  of  sulfur.  an  orange  pill  bottle.  streaks  in  the  sink. a  black  cocktail  dress. your  hand  on  the  doorknob,  shaking.  a  chilly  breeze.  crunching  from  the  gravel  driveway  on  a  moonless  night. clenched  hands.  a  rusty  swing  set. a  flashing  digital  clock  stuck  on  12 : 00.  a  snake  that  crosses  your  path. an  owl  that  watches  you.  a  dog  that  runs  when  you  approach. red  smoke,  dark  clouds. cool  steel.  tile  floors.  footsteps  in  the  hallway  late  at  night.  a  baggy  suit  that  used  to  fit  before.  visions.  insomnia  headaches. nursery  rhymes. being  too  far  in  to  go  back  now.

&      𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡  𝐚𝐝𝐨  𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭  𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠   .   the  high  drama  of  small  towns. a  pickup  truck.  military  supply  duffel  bags  in  the  hall,  hugs  all  around.  tulip  bulbs. a  wraparound  porch.  a  pitcher  of  iced  tea. a  rubber  halloween  mask.  someone  on  your  level.   ill - timed  proclamations. stomach  clenching  laughter.  rushing  in. not  minding  your  business.  crepe  paper. white  lies.  secrets  written  down  and  thrown  away. southern  hospitality.  homemade  curtains in  the  kitchen.  a  sink  full  of  roses.  hiding  in  the  bushes.  old  friends.  the  wedding  dress  your  grandma  wore,  and  her  mama  before  her.  a  dog - eared  rhyming  dictionary.  chamomile  with  honey.  the  intimacy  of  big  parties.  lawn  flamingos.  gossip.  a  crowded  church.  friendly  rivalries.  unfriendly  rivalries.  shit  getting  real.  love  at  five  hundredth  sight.  not  realizing  you’re  home  until  you’re  there.

&      𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫   .   cement  block  buildings.  power  lines  that  birds  never  perch  on.  the  end  of  the  world. useless  words.  rainless  thunder,  heat  lighting,  a  too  big  sky. arthritic  knuckles.  broken  glass.  chalk  cliffs. the  pulsing  red - black  behind  closed  eyes.  something  you  learned  too  late.  wet  mud  that  sucks  up  your  shoes  while  you  walk.  a  cold  stare.  empty  picture  frames. empty  prayers. the  obscenity  of  seeing  your  parents  cry. a  treeless  landscape.  bloody  rags.  grappling  in  the  dark  with  reaching  hands.  the  sharpness  at  the  the  tips  of  your  teeth. the  blown  out  windows  of  a  skeletal  house.  decay. jokes  that  aren’t  jokes. biting  your  tongue.  prophecies. aching  muscles, tired  feet. stinging  rain. invoking  the  gods.  wondering  if  the  gods  are  listening.  worrying  that  the  gods  are  dead.  white  noise. shivers.  numbness. the  unequivocal  feeling  of  ending.

&       𝐚  𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫  𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭’𝐬  𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦   .   the  smell  of  wet  soil  and  dead  leaves. listening  to  music  on  headphones  with  your  eyes  closed.  wildflowers.  the  distant  sparkle  of  lightning  bugs.  a  pill  someone  slipped  you.  fear  that  turns  into  excitement.  excitement  that  turns  to  frenzy.  mossy  tree  trunks. a  pair  of  yellow  eyes  in  the  darkness. night  swimming.  moonlight  through  the  leaves. a  bass  beat  in  your  chest.  a  butterfly  landing  on  your  nose.  a  kiss  from  a  stranger.  a  dark  hallow  in  an  old  tree. glow  in  the  dark  paint. drinking  on  an  empty  stomach.  a  twig  breaking  behind  you.  spinning  until  you’re  dizzy.  finding  glitter  on  your  body  and  not  remembering  where  it  came  from. an  overgrown  path  through  the  woods.  cool  dew  on  your  skin.  a  dream  that  fades  with  waking.  moths  drawn  to  the  light.  giving  yourself  over,  completely.  afterglow.  the  long,  loving,  velvety  night.

BAD HABITS

besides drink and smoking the other a lot of her bad habits she has are anxiety related  l  picking at her finger nails, chewing on her bottom lip, ect. and half of the time she doesn’t notice she’s doing them.

she also might have a pretty good sleep schedule but her eating habits aren’t the best. mostly from being neglected as a kid and having to fend for herself most nights - she has no concept on what is considered an actual dinner vs what’s just a snack. constantly forgetting to eat too but she stays hydrated so..there’s that i suppose.

CHILDREN

she’s so good with kids don’t even get me started. rynéus is going to get his own post but she’s so unbelievably good with kids - very protective and more sisterly towards them than motherly. the type to get really into theatrics when playing with them  ;  you can bet she’ll do a drawn out, over exaggerated “ death “ when play fighting.  

a big part of this probably stems from not being around other kids when she was younger and due to her patience & being easily excitable, she’s able to click with them better. 

she’d adopt a kid in a heart beat (  and has in my skyrim save,, blaise and lucia i love you so much & so does honey  ) .  i’m not sure if she’d have on of her own Quite yet but i know she wouldn’t turn the idea down.  

FAVORITE THINGS

besides the people (  an animal  )  close to her & the few things she still has from her life in nirhim, two of her favorite things will always be music and nature. 

as for music!  first fell in love with it when she was younger. family outing to a local event & got to see her first live performance and just fell in love with, even taught herself how to play the lute!  she’s usually always humming a song too.

100% the type that will just disappear into the woods for a few hours to listen to the animals & other...nature-y(?) sounds and then come back with an armful of random shit she found (  everything from animal bones to a cool rock or flower she found  ). 

MUSIC  &  DANCING 

dancing is...a weird one. she’ll definitely dance but only if she’s a) alone or b) really likes the song that’s being played and can drag someone with her. and,,, that its really i dont think there’s a lot of situations where she Does have a chance to dance. 

SLEEPING HABITS