Oh Darlin, This Isnt Love. @me-and-d - Tumblr Blog

my self harm scars are fading snd most people would be thrilled but i just miss them and hurting myself

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I never stopped cutting. I lied to everyone. I didn’t stop until I completely fell apart. Something healed inside me while I was put back together. I don’t feel ashamed of my scars anymore. After six months they’re still pink and raised and painful and obvious, but I don’t cover them up anymore. I see people stare at them, but I don’t feel ashamed. I am proud of the progress I’ve made. I am proud to have scars rather than fresh cuts. I am proud that I don’t have a stock of bandaids and plans for how to stay cool in long sleeves. I made a lot of progress and I still have a long way to go, but I am proud of where I stand today.

5/24/20

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I’m tired

I sitting next to you and I’m just.. I’m so sick and tired of living this life. I’m so tired of me.

It’s not like he cares how I feel, and I’m probably right. I’m not worth it.

The moment I cried while you fucked me was when I really could admit you broke my fucking heart. That’s all I think about while kissing you and even listening to you. I don’t know if I’m even attracted anymore. All the fucking lies, I hate it. I hate you. I don’t know how to feel good enough, and that was already hard enough without you. You make everything worse for me and even if I thought we were getting better, we weren’t. You were lying the whole time. None of it matters to you, not that I trusted you and your probably going to do it again. It didn’t matter you were my home and I did so much to try and make you happy, when you never really care if I’m happy. Up until now. I don’t matter though, even if you try to convince me. I know that I’m truly and forever fucking worthless to you.

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Basically

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iamquietlydrowning

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