* ░ you're driving me wild;;

Asher: I found a bunch of your stuff while I was cleaning out my room. Do you want me to return it?

Asher: or get it posted to you? I didn't mean that I'd just show up announced on your doorstep 'cos I'm totally not allowed to do that anymore.

Asher: or I can donate it to charity or throw it out if you don't want it. just let me know.

Asher: ... it's Asher, by the way. I'm not sure if you still have my number.

Asher: god, how is it even possible for me to ramble this much over text?

Cae: Do whatever you want with it, I don't need it

Cae: Better yet, I'll just come and get it. Maybe put it in storage or my closet or something.

“And now that your abilities have been challenged, you’re whining”, she reminded him. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise when she heard that he was technically single as he and Asher had seemed very loved up at prom. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to grab a few beers from the fridge?”

“Alright, remember this the next time we play and I hand you your ass on a golden platter.” He said. At the mention of Asher, he let out something that was a mixture of a groan and sigh; something that goes to show his frustration. “It’s bizarre, but apparently I told the Dean that he smokes and deals -- which is complete horseshit, but he believes it. Now he has to do some sort of substance abuse counselling, our relationship is on thin ice, and I’m stuck wondering how I’m the cause of it all. Break out the beer, I’m gonna need it.” 

“I am thinking about this rationally!” he exclaimed. “The fucking Dean of this university explicitly stated that it was you that reported this. There’s no one on campus whose name even sounds remotely similar to yours and it makes no sense for someone to have reported the information with your name because no one hates me that much! I don’t know why you would have done it but all the evidence is stacked against you”. Asher was in a terrible mood and because Cae’s priority was defending himself, it didn’t really seem like his boyfriend gave a shit about what was happening to him. Asher should have stopped the conversation now before things got out of control but he was too fired up for that. “Maybe we should press pause on us until things settle down”.

“Clearly you’re not if you think I have some sort of vendetta against you to the point that I’d tell the Dean you’re a stoner, but I guess that tells me a lot about our relationship.” He mumbled. It seemed like no matter what he said, his argument was falling on deaf ears, and truthfully, he was just wasting his time. “You can take that story and run with it to the end of time, Asher, but I know for a fact that it wasn’t me, but whatever. If blaming me gives you some sort of consolation, by all means, I’ll be your scapegoat.” He was livid that Asher would think he would do something like this, but he couldn’t blame him completely. If roles were reversed, Cae would definitely understand where Asher was coming from. When Asher suggested that they take a break, it was almost as if it hadn’t affected Cae. Either that, or he was really good at suppressing his emotions. “Sounds fine to me, man. Maybe I’m better off not being with someone who thinks the absolute worst of me. Have fun in NA or whatever the fuck it is you’re doing.”

“You’re such a sore loser, Marenco. I’m the Queen of Uno, bitch”, she laughed. “Well, luckily for you, it’s a few days before my waxing appointment so I actually have evidence”

“No, I’m confident in my abilities; there’s a difference. And there’s no need for name calling. I’m going to take the high road and not stoop to your level.” He mused. “It’s a good thing I’m technically single now or else I would have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Maybe don’t insult me today, alright? I’ve already been ordered to go to substance abuse counselling to avoid having charges pressed and I’m on probation… I don’t need to be insulted too”, he snapped. “I don’t know why you’d have snitched on me, okay?! It makes no fucking sense but the Dean has your name and it makes even less sense for someone to have dobbed me in using your name”.

“Then maybe you should think about this rationally instead of pinning something on me that I didn’t do.” He said slowly. “Exactly, it makes no fucking sense. The Dean must have me confused with someone else. If I had a problem with you smoking -- which I don’t -- I would have talked to you about it. Not an authority figure. But you know what, if you actually believe that lie, I can’t stop you. But I know the truth.”

“Before today, I didn’t think you’d rat me out. Before today, I’d have said that you were the person that I could trust the most. I thought maybe some guy on my floor had snitched on me but when I asked for a name, the Dean gave me yours. Why would he lie about that?”

“I’m not suggesting anything, I’m explicitly stating that you were involved. The Dean just so happened to mention your name when I asked for the source of the information. What the actual fuck, Cae?”

“You’re just snarky because I beat your ass with a Draw 4″, she retorted. “Puh-lease, this isn’t a dye job. The carpets definitely match the drapes and I can prove it if required”.

“Bullshit, you just got lucky. Next time we play, you’re going to regret being cocky, per my wild card.” He whined. “Usually I’d take your word for it, but I’ve never seen blonde pubes before, so now I’m suddenly very intrigued.”

“… so it turns out that the Dean knows I’ve been smoking and occasionally selling. Any idea how he might know that?”

“No, why would I? You’re not trying to suggest anything, are you?”

“I told you that I’d win! That serves you right for underestimating my skills”.

“Oh, please, anyone can win at Uno. You’re nothing special, blondie -- or at least that’s what your dye says.”

Well, I was only doing homework– needless to say I really didn’t get a lot of it done. But I guess I won’t forget to call the party in the future.

Homework and booze? Must have been some assignment. Too stressing or something personal? Cool, cool. My hours are seven in the evening to three in the morning on weekdays, and twelve in the morning to twelve at night on weekends.

Remind me to never drink by myself ever again. 

Invite me next time. I hear I’m fun at parties.

“So the Dean’s assistant called me today and requested that I go and see the Dean first thing tomorrow. Should I panic? I feel like I should be panicking”.

“You should definitely be panicking. I think it’s over for you, babe.”

Yeah, but did any of them have the guts to come up and talk to me? No. C’mon, I’ve got some standards. None of them including taken guys… or girls.

Can you blame them? I wouldn’t even have the guts to approach you. You’re ridiculously attractive -- they’re probably just intimidated. Maybe try your hand at the girls, though. I see a lot of them without dates.

Asher spun around at the familiar voice, his lips curving into a smile as he realised that Cae had arrived. Before he could say anything, his eyes widened in surprise as he saw how little his boyfriend was wearing. “Holy fuck. You… are definitely worth the wait. How am I supposed to get through tonight with you looking like that, when all I can think about is you fucking me?” he complained. “I wasn’t angry with you, by the way. It’s just some bitch trying to stir shit up”, he clarified.

Cae draped his arms around Asher’s neck before leaning in to kiss him. “I left little for the imagination, I know. It was either this or Scar, but I couldn’t find a decent lion costume that looked like it didn’t come from the thrift store.” He kissed Asher once more. “You look pretty smashing yourself, your highness. You should dress up more. Tell you what, if this thing ends up being a drag -- which it probably will be -- we can sneak back to my room and uh, act out your fantasies.” He frowned out of curiosity then. “Really, what did they say?”

Asher had been on his way to spike the punch when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out of his pocket, frowning deeply when he saw that it was a text from the damn gossip site. He didn’t know how they kept getting his number even after he changed it. “Fucking bullshit”, he cursed, shoving his phone away before it ruined his mood further.

“Alright, I know, I’m late. But if I wanted to avoid flashing everyone in this room, I had to put in a little extra effort for this costume. But don’t look at it that way, consider everyone else being early.” He said, clearly misinterpreting the situation.