Middle Class Problems

I've only been to six other countries. My life lacks cultural diversity. MCP.

Bought a $130 pair of Birkenstocks on Zappos yesterday. Paid $7.00 for 3-day shipping so they'd arrive before my trip to Europe. Zappos surprised me with free overnight shipping. I wasted $7.00. MCP. 

The tide took my Ray Ban Wayfarers the other day. Had to order a new pair for $350. Never going to the beach again. MCP. 

Neighbor's gardener starts mowing lawn at 6 am. It's a Saturday. Upper-MCP. 

Retainer in mouth. Can't speak. Sound like I have no friends. MCP. 

My best friends just called me a hipster. I denied it. Denial is the first sign. MCP. 

Order iced tea, expecting it to be unsweetened. So much sweetener in it that you swear you've just developed type II diabetes. MCP. 

The latest episode of Glee was disappointing. MCP. 

Went to get frozen yogurt. Forgot punch card. MCP. 

New jeans dyed my legs blue. Can't go out dancing tonight. MCP. 

AT&T Androids. MCP. 

Sperry's keep coming untied. Keep having to stop and tie them. MCP. 

Porta-Potties. MCP. 

Cracked all my clarinet reeds. No more left in the box. Realize I bought regular Rico instead of Rico Royal. MCP. 

Netflix in college. MCP. 

I want to be green, it's just that the recycling bin is so far away and the trash is so incredibly convenient... MCP.

Need to get XL sheets for college dorm bed. Can't find any above 250 thread count. MCP.