lost , gray

“and i was like, ‘there haven’t been sled dogs in antarctica for like twenty years’ but she didn’t believe me.” rhiannon wrinkles her nose in annoyance. “i mean, there could certainly be werewolves or something, or like–isn’t there that movie with kurt russell–there were sled dogs there, sure, but it was the eighties. you could smoke in hospitals then still, i think. anyway, i never saw anyone but humans and penguins there.”

               HE SNORTS LOUDLY,  russet eyes glowing with amusement.     “     humans are the only ones crazy enough to live in antartica. it’s fucking cold up there, and you’re talking to a guy who’s from russia. so trust me, i know cold. sure, most of us who live here are already DEAD, but jesus, living up there is like dying all over again —- but this time, it’d be death by frostbite. or maybe by getting mauled by a werewolf sled dog.     “

     ‘  not  to  be  a  picky  eater  or  anything  ,   but  it  would  be  WONDERFUL  to  get  a  human  that  doesn’t  yell  &  plead  for  their  lives  while  i’m  trying  to  FEED  —  it  sort  of  sucks  the  fun  out  of  a  snack  ,   pun  intended  .  ’

               "     HUH. THAT’S FUNNY, I THOUGHT YOU’D BE THE TYPE TO ENJOY  the helpless screams of your victims. but if it really bothers you that much, why don’t you just tell them to shut up? you know, mind control-y and all. do that and voila, you’ve got yourself an obedient little snack.     “

*  THEO JAMES  &  CISMALE  / /  here we’ve got ANDREI OVCHUKHOV,  the  SEVEN HUNDRED AND THREE  year old VAMPIRE  -  luckily, HE  actually looks about THIRTY-SIX years old.  with a reputation for being  ENDEARING,  VIGOROUS,  IMPETUOUS, and INTEMPERATE, it’s surprising we haven’t heard more about them.  ANDREI has been around faulk hollow for FIFTY-FOUR YEARS, but they ain’t leaving anytime soon. you hear GLORY & GORE by LORDE? that means you’ll see ‘em soon.

for a moment she’s surprised by the woman’s reaction, eyes widening before an amused smile tugs at her mouth, splitting it wide before a laugh breaks free of her lips. “you must be new to this.” it’s practically commical the way the woman acts, paranoid and startled and while it wasn’t at all what bella expected, it was still amusing. “relax, i’m not a hunter or anything like that. would have thought you’d have known that this town holds more supernatural creatures than vampires.” she starts fixing the woman a bloody mary despite her state, an amused smile on bella’s face despite it all. “i can sense it from you, kind of like a vibe or an aura.” she adds some blood to the glass from a vial before sliding the drink across to her. “oh, and i’m a witch.”

THE WOMAN’S WORDS DID NOTHING TO EASE HER NERVES. if anything, they put her more on edge. vampires were one thing, but other supernatural creatures? witches? belle suddenly felt lightheaded.   “   i―   “   she glances down at the glass the other had slid over and lets out a shaky breath. her eyes close, hands coming up to massage her temples.   “   oh my god.   “   she groans quietly to herself. a small part of her always guessed that other beings existed, she just tried not to think too hard about it because she was scared she’d be right. and she was. russet eyes open again and stare at the pinkish liquid before her. belle was never much of a drinker, but at that moment, she really needed one. she takes a swig of the drink then slams it back down on the counter, her features pursed as a result of the burning sensation in her throat.   “   oh my fuckin’ god.   “

it feels, in that moment — as if he his world stops and starts and stops again. cracking at the seems, turning upside down and shattering apart: before in a quick flurry, all the broken peices are fitted together again. daisy was alive. his little sister. daisy, who, despite only been a year younger than him, who could handle herself, was his to look after. she’d been his responsibility since before he could remember, his whole world revolving around her, protecting her, making sure she had enough food every day. making sure she did her math homework every night. getting her to school, around town. only going to parties because she wanted too — and tommy never trusted anyone in their town not to do right by daisy. they became a package deal, closer than ever: wherever one went, the other was sure to follow.

( and when she died, that day — maybe he had, too. who was he without her? without his little sister? without the only one who, outside of belle — could ever claim to really know him? it’s something he knew before — tommy easton ceased to exist the day that the love of his life and kid sister were slain senselessly. but it’s different this time — ceasing to exist and dying are two very different things. )

“she’s alive.” the words are whispered but clear. there’s pain and an ache and an angst in his voice; might very well be a slight sheen of tears in his eyes, too. “she… turned the night… you did.” his gaze flickers to hers. despite the coldness and the hurt found there — his touch doesn’t tighten. he doesn’t hurt her. he doesn’t seek to do anything other than hold her, softly as he might have before. ( hurting her is to hurt himself — something of which he does try to avoid. ) his bottom lip trembles, ever so slightly. “its been ten years, belle.” his thumb traced a random, circular pattern on her smooth skin. “i mourned you both. i buried you both. i prayed to a god i don’t much believe in for you both.” he exhaled raggedly. “and still… you couldn’t even think… to give me… any kind of sign…” because he would have waited… long as it took, long as it was necessary — for them to come back. if he’d just had something to hold onto, to hope for. maybe… everything would be different. “she’s my sister. you’re my girlfriend. my family.” he exhaled raggedly again, his head shaking ever so slightly. “was i really that irrelevant that i didn’t even deserve a sign you had both survived?”

SHE TRIED NOT TO LOOK AT HIM AS HE UNCOVERED THE TRUTH, but her eyes betrayed her and flitted upwards to his face. the pain that greeted her hatched a labyrinth of cracks in her heart. guilt coursed through the crevices and burned like alcohol to a fresh wound. she knew how much pain they’d put him through by leaving him the dark. she knew. but she also knew that if they hadn’t, he would’ve been holding on to a hope that belle saw as useless. she herself, a woman who at many times in her life only had that one thing to cling to, had lost it the moment she died. vampires and humans weren’t meant to coexist. she wasn’t meant to exist. people were supposed to live, and then they were supposed to DIE. that is what her god taught her. being what she is now―- it defies everything she knows.

a part of her would always keep making excuses for why she did what she did. she’ll say it’s for his own good; that she could’ve hurt him, that he was better off moving on with his life. and while she believed all of those to be true, she knew that deep down, she was just being selfish. she was too scared to tell him she was alive because even if he’d known, there was no way they could’ve been together. while no wrinkle could ever blemish the smooth surfaces of her skin, everyone else she’d ever loved will fall prey to the natural order and grow old and die. that included tommy. ceasing to exist to him was better than having to watch him wither and expire. and turning him? like hell she would. belle wouldn’t even wish this curse on her worst enemy.

"   you. are. not. IRRELEVANT.   “   it comes out clear and detached, each word getting heavier and heavier as she spoke. lithe hands come up to plant themselves tenderly on his face: a habit she’s always had when she was comforting him.   “   daisy and i― we mourned you too. staying away from you killed us, but tommy you have to understand, we had to.   “   she was staring directly in his eyes now, brown hues pleading for some kind of compassion.   “   we thought you would’ve moved on with your life. you know, fall in love again, settle down, maybe even have kids.   “   she smiled sadly.   “   us being there―- it would’ve complicated things. you’d never be able to let us go and. . . and you needed to. because what we are, and what you are, it gives us no chance for a future.   “

“so this… is faulk hollow.” her nose curled slightly, anger causing nadiya’s slight frame to vibrate and turn ridigid: the town having more of an effect on her than she’d like. or wanted. the green sky cast the buildings in an ominous hue — like this was only the beginning if those vloggers didn’t leave town. “truthfully, i expected more.”

THE FAMILIARITY OF THE VOICE CAUSES HIS EYEBROWS TO FURROW. five centuries since he’s heard it, and the last time he did was when he was at some castle in the motherland. and if his memory serves him right, he was sure it belonged to none other than. . .   “   nadiya semenova.   “   he greets her presence with an impish grin.   “   vampires, werewolves, ghosts―- should’ve known this town could lure in a succubus as well.   “   he pats the bar stool right next to him.   “   go on, tell me why you’re here so i can distract myself from the hours spent hiding from the sun’s pissy mood.   “

while daisy is surprised by the lack of any comments about patience or not chasing trouble, she can’t say she’s particularly disappointed by missing the lecture. her and her brother are too much alike some days - especially when it comes to their stubbornness - and she’s not always sure how belle tolerates it, but the other woman has always had more kindness in her than she ever has. “ looking for trouble, where else ?? ” it’s an off-hand comment, one accompanied by a shrug as she looks over at her companion. if nothing else, it’s a smarter answer than admitting that she wants to look for tommy, just like always. “ i’m tired of being cooped up. ”

HER LIPS PART TO MAKE WAY FOR A HEAVY BREATH, and her eyelids shut again. daisy’s response resonates with many different memories, though each had one thing in common: they all held tommy’s voice. sometimes belle could hear him in the way daisy spoke, and that could either be reminiscent or it could be painful. but most of the time, those two went hand in hand.   “   tired of being cooped up?   “   her eyes snap open, brimming with frustration and annoyance.   “   cooping you up is the only way to keep you out of TROUBLE. whenever you go out exploring, it always ends with you making a mess and us having to leave.   “   the sharpness in her own words surprise the girl, and she instantly starts for an apology.   “   i― i’m sorry. i didn’t mean it. i’m just, i’m stressed.   “   tends to happen when you finally see the man you’ve been lying to for the past ten years.

bella eyed the woman up and down and in sensing that she was a vampire, a smirk crossed her mouth. looking over her shoulder for a moment, she turned back to the customer and leaned in slightly. “well, for your kind we have an extra special bloody mary. emphasis on the bloody.” her head tilts then, hands bracing against the edge of the bar as she leaned forward. it was a specialty of the dusty crow for their undead customers, one that bella had quickly learned of upon coming to work in the saloon. “whiskey is a classic, we have some great shots and cocktails. depends on what you’re in the mood for, really.”

BELLE INSTANTLY JERKS BACK AT THE MENTION OF “HER KIND”. she gapes at the brunette, wide brown eyes filling with disbelief.   “   what― how―-   “   she sputters in an attempt to find the right words. there was no way the other could’ve known what she was. this wasn’t twilight; she didn’t sparkle, and it wasn’t as if there was a huge sign over her head that said “COUNT DRACULA” in big, bold letters. besides her fangs popping out in the the vicinity of fresh blood and the occasional need to turn into a bat, there was nothing on the surface that could give away her true nature.   “   how do you know―-   “   she pauses and glances around, then leans in to whisper,   “   ―what i am?   “

the male of strong bone structure almost looks down on the woman short in stature, however she makes up for this shortcoming ( no pun intended ) with a grand determination and a fair set of high heels back home. “oh, it was a night unlike any other, sorry, what is your name?” she can’t help but ponder why people in this town seemed to have so much to hide at times. skulking, swiftly moving into the darkness as she she brought an unwelcome gate to the world outside of faulk hollow. “the town store looks a little run down.” lorelai points out, as a matter of observation, “but of course there seemed to be a fair amount of towns… along the way.” she tugs the hem of her coat, long forgotten where exactly on the map this town lied. the connection seemed to conveniently faulter on her way in. “would i be able to speak to your wife to back this up? just need to ‘cross the t’s and dot the i’s’, and ill be out of your way.” the detective offers a soft smile, however her tone of voice is rather flat, as if to subtly clarify her suspicions ( not relating to the murder really, just the reception. ), anything out of the ordinary would require a second visit.

"   ANDREI OVCHUKHOV. AND YOU, DETECTIVE? DO YOU HAVE A NAME? or should i just keep calling you detective?   “   a slight smirk lies upon his lips. a night like any other, huh? andrei considered himself an expert at those, and he could guarantee that if she was talking about a murder, it couldn’t have been that extraordinary. everyone in this town seemed like they were DYING. whether it was getting stabbed by an ex-lover, drained by your friendly neighborhood vamp, or simply just falling down the stairs, every inch of the town was stained by death.    “   you don’t have to sugarcoat it. the grocery store is a dump and so is every other place here.   “   he shrugs lightly and brings the cup of o-negative laced tea to his lips. at the mention of his wife, he sets it back down on the table and shoots the blonde a relaxed smile.   “   yes, of course. she went out a couple hours ago but she said she’d be back at four.   “   he gestures towards the mug and says,   “   would you like some tea while you wait? coffee, perhaps?   “

she’s seen him a thousand times over the years, but only from a distance - only when she was sure he couldn’t see her - and somehow seeing him face to face feels like all the air she doesn’t need leaving her lungs in a rush. there’s a brief moment after his question where the edge of her lips curl up, finding solace in the old familiarity of his bluntness before she has to face the weight of telling the truth. it’s not her crime she has to confess now, but it aches the same as guilt. after a few long moments, she exhales long and slow before she disappears. there’s a hole in the universe where she should be, an empty space that’s not truly empty, and then she reappears as solid as moments earlier. it’s the answer to the question she’s sure is burning at the back of his mind. it’s been decades and while his agelessness is known, hers was unexplained until that moment. “ i didn’t run away. ” her voice is quiet and fragile, a far cry from the bright girl she used to be. “ arthur had a temper and a girl prettier than me and he decided he didn’t want a wife. ” there’s another shaky breath, even though she doesn’t need the oxygen. “ i’m buried under a cottonwood a ten minute walk into the woods. no one ever looked for me and i was…i was too scared to let people see me. ”

NOT EVEN A FLICKER OF EMOTION CROSSED HIS FACE as he watched the girl fade in and out of existence. his stare remained blank even when she began to speak, and from the stillness in his body, he could’ve easily been mistaken for a statue. for the first time in forever, andrei was at a loss for words. almost fifty years he’d spent missing her; not knowing whether she was DEAD or alive; refusing to believe anything arthur said to excuse her disappearance. almost fifty years in the dark about what had happened to her, but now that he knew the truth, he wasn’t sure what to do with it. this wasn’t an ice cream cone she’d dropped on the ground, or a cut she’d gotten from the playground―-- this wasn’t something he could fix. she was dead, murdered. and for all that time that he’d believed she was spending away from him, she’d been ALONE. perhaps he didn’t know what he could do to make things better, he didn’t even think he could, but he certainly knew how he felt. angry. not at her for for staying away, but at arthur for what he did.   “   do you know where he is?   “   his words come out coldly, fist clenching tighter and tighter around the doorknob until it broke off. but he paid it no attention. he didn’t care if decades had passed since the incident, the man was out there somewhere; old, wrinkly, and alive. but he wasn’t going to be for long.

    ‘  DO  I  KNOW  ANYTHING  ABOUT  GOBLINS  ?  how  stupid  !  ’  isadora  huffs  along  the  dirt  path  towards  her  apothecary  shop  ,   freckled  shoulders  burning  the  slightest  tinge  of  scarlet  with  the  latest  cast  of  sweltering  heat   –  coupled  with  the  positively  OBNOXIOUS  questions  these  intruders  thrust  at  her ,  and  isadora  surely  isn’t  having  the  best  day .  she  pauses  in  her  tracks  &  lifts  her  gaze  up  to  the  ominous  green  glow  in  the  sky ,  finally  exhaling ,  ‘  so  that’s  just  a  thing  we’re  dealing  with  now  ,  right  ?  ’

HER EXCESSIVELY LAYERED FIGURE FRANTICALLY PUSHED PAST THE REDHEAD and headed towards the shop. she glanced behind her very quickly, shooting the stranger an apologetic smile before bursting through the apothecary’s doors. the vampire threw down her hood almost immediately and began to unzip her jackets one by one, throwing every single one of them off as quickly as she had rushed in. a relieved sigh escapes her lips as a combination of SHADOWS and electrically generated light hits her skin. much better.

“what i’d do?” the question comes hard and fast: hissed from behind teeth and he takes a step closer to her, unable to resist her gravity for long. ( wasn’t that how it’d been before, too? when they would wander around town and campus — some part of them always touching, always connected, unwilling to be parted for longer than they had to be? he’s slipping, falling back into patterns he thought he had broken a decade ago, not even minding any of it. ) “i would have given anything to have you back! to have… the both of you back.” he prayed to a god he didn’t believe in, drank himself into a stupor, slept for days and barely emerged — people worried he would be next, to follow belle and daisy into the afterlife, not being able to stomach life without them. ( tommy hadn’t even been able to convince them otherwise — half in a mind of wanting the same end. )

shaky, ragged exhales break past his lips as he ducks slightly, brown-black eyes catching her own. "if you had… had come to me… had come back to me… had fucking shown an ounce of the trust or love you claimed to have had for me…” and maybe that’s the hardest thing to believe about all of this. that… there was once a time where they loved each other. there was once a time he was gonna marry her — still has the ring, even, stuffed down the back of his sock drawer, unwilling and unable to let that peice of her go, even if he knows he should. ( but the ring was always meant for her — no one else. giving it away, selling it, seemed… wrong. ) they were supposed to have a happy ending before she was ripped from his side: but look at them now. he’s yet, of course to catch onto the fact it’s his own actions that caused this. that one killing of a vampire had set this whole… mess into motion — that she stayed away from him because of him. 

as her words catch up to him — just as they always do, — he freezes where he stands. his blood runs hot and cold and back again, skin prickling uncomfortably. “you… you were… with someone. someone. who were you with?” his hands come up, again — softly circling around her upper arms. “belle.” lips press together briefly — the emotions too much to handle, to deal with, all of them surging through him, knees going weak and hands shaking ever so slightly. “is — is my sister — alive?”

SHE TAKES A STEP BACK AS HE STEPS FORWARD, and for a split second, fear flashes in her eyes. ten years ago, belle would’ve never even flinched at his touch. but that man wasn’t the man standing before her; he had the same face, the same voice, everything she’d grown to love over the time they’d spent together—-- except he was different. belle didn’t see that same burning light in his eyes. she didn’t see a kind smile, nor hear a genuine laugh. she had once known a man that wanted to bring GOOD in the world, but she wasn’t so sure that man existed anymore. so yes, she was scared. perhaps she held a sliver of hope that tommy easton was still the person she’d fell in love with, but in that moment, all belle could see was a broken man who’d just learned the truth about his suffering. and she knew that that, was not something she could tread lightly on. 

the words ‘love you claimed to have had for me’ echoed through her ears. she wanted to say something then, to yell at him and sob and push him. she wanted to shake him by the shoulders. ‘how could you even say that?’ she wanted to scream. but she didn’t. she bit down on her lip, hard. hard enough for her to wince and draw blood, but she didn’t care. she needed it to stay silent. the vampire endured as she had for the last decade: taking in all the guilt and all the pain so that no one else would. she’d done it for daisy, and now she’ll do it for him, simply because she always had. they’d both changed, she knew that. study dates at the library, 3 am coffee runs, thanksgiving with the family—-- anything ordinary between them disappeared after that fateful night. and yet she still listened to him, let him speak, never interrupted, be the quiet one like she’d always been during an argument. because no matter what she did, it was just too hard for her to treat him any differently.

she exhaled heavily when his fingers began tracing circles on her arms, shivering slightly at his touch. the emotion in his voice causes her to look down and she’s too ASHAMED to answer. she knew that it must have been a shock to find out she was alive, but daisy was his sister. his blood. she didn’t know how he’d react if he knew she’d kept that a secret from him.   “   . . .yes. she’s alive.   “

The door opens - and features framed by loosely curled strawberry blonde locks rise to take in the homeowner. No ones ever really happy to see a cop standing at their door, let alone a detective, foreign looking badge and a long coat. It was the middle of the night when she received the call, and headed into her car to make the trip half way across the country to ‘hickland’ two weeks ago. When asking where on earth Faulk Hollow was, her Superintendent told her to follow the cows and take a right at the hay bale. At 3am she didn’t find his quip that funny. Luckily, her car still had her ex’s navman.

She flashes her badge, begins to speak “Washington State Homicide.” What dragged her from Seattle to the Hollow exactly? A tip on the description of a wanted murders description turned up in Kansas. “Im Detective Saunders, and I need to ask you some questions about your whereabouts on February 7th 2018.”

ANDREI’S ALWAYS HAD A BIT OF A REBELLIOUS STREAK when it came to cops. didn’t like them in the twenties, didn’t like them now. he describes them as being a huge party pooper, and says that the only thing they know how to do is stick their nose somewhere it doesn’t belong. so despite the pleasant smile painted on his lips, the vampire was far from pleased at the other’s presence. after he saw her from the peek hole, he’d even considered breaking his years long blood bag diet and make the detective his first fresh meal in ages. but after long contemplation, mostly he was thinking about what yelena would do to him if he did, he decided against it.   “   mmm. . . that was quite some time ago, detective.   “   he fakes confusion, tapping lightly on his bottom lip as he continues to “think” about where he was that night.   “   ah, yes, i remember now. i went out that day to get groceries―-- my wife wanted to cook up something new ―- then i came home and spent the rest of the day with her.   “

“so i get it,” daisy starts, tone seemingly casual as she pulls on her leather jacket. “sleepy little town full of crazy freaks, blah blah blah, whatever. it’s all very dramatic and poetic and all that bullshit - but where’s the actual crazy shit? if we’re all hanging out here, you’d think there’s be more fun than just the occasional dead body and some shitty beer.”

MOST PEOPLE WOULD THINK DAISY WAS JOKING, but after being side by side with her for a decade, belle knew that the girl was one hundred percent serious. she huffs loudly and sinks deeper into the dusty bedsheets of the old motel, too groggy from over nine hours of sleep to give the other a lecture.   “   okay daisy.   “   she mumbles hazily. her eyes flutter and for a moment, she thinks about going back to sleep, but then she catches sight of what daisy was wearing. suddenly, she’s awake.   “   where are you going?   “

{  starter for @mcnstres !!  }

after her death, rory hid from everyone - both the living and the dead - and it wasn’t until decades later that she actually began interacting with other people again. those who knew her were forced to accept her fiance’s story of a bride with cold feet while she was tethered to a shallow grave in a forest where no one would search for her. friends and family believed that she abandoned them in a way that made her heart ache, but she didn’t have the courage in her to want anything more than peace.

now it’s been nearly half a century since rory died and, as a consequence, nearly everyone she knew when she was alive is either dead or so old that she knows she could never reconnect with them even if they believed it was really her. an exception to the rule, however, still remains in faulk hollow and she thinks that today might be the day she’s brave enough to talk to him again. it’s not the first time she’s stood on his porch, knuckles rapping against the hardwood as she waits to see that familiar face, but it’s been a lifetime since she was the bright eyed and innocent little girl he must remember.

A LOUD KNOCK DISRUPTS ANDREI FROM HIS DAILY READING. he chooses to ignore it at first and continues to look down at his newspaper, but after the second "tap, tap”, he finally gives in. annoyance evident in his features, he unwillingly stands from his comfortable position on the couch and starts for the front of the house.   “   i thought i told those brats that i didn’t want any damn cookies.   “   he grumbles under his breath. he reaches for the knob and opens the door swiftly.   “   listen, thin mints just aren―   “   his words falter as he realizes who he was speaking to. aurora. the little girl he’d caught playing in his yard; who wouldn’t stop bothering him every minute of the day; who he’d practically raised and watched grow up. but that was almost forty years ago, and she hadn’t aged a day since the last time he saw her. silence latches onto his tongue. a series of emotions goes through his mind: disbelief, he couldn’t believe she was there, let alone as youthful as ever. happy, for even though he couldn’t believe it, he was glad she alive. and then ANGER, for now that he knew she was alive and well, there was no excuse for her to have left just like that.   “   . . . care to explain?   “

his hands detach from her frame at her words. because she’s right. she’s right, just as she usually and always is. ( he’d always made the claim she was the smarter of the two of them, years and years ago, back in michigan when everything seemed simpler. it’d started as something of a joke — a quip made during study in the library. it’d ended up being something akin to adoring and loving; a habit he’d never managed to break. but now… here… it only makes him feel sick to his stomach. ) the word rests heavy on his tongue, sticking inside his head, making horror and apprehension curl deep in the pit of his stomach. it’s a word he’d never been afraid of before, never been scared to say or think of. so why is he afraid now?

“why then?” the words come out: disconnected, cold and detached… a quite type of fury. if he can’t say that word — he’ll say the others. because the peices are fitting together now, forming a horrible mottled picture he wants no part of. ( she died. she turned. she stayed away. she died. she turned. she stayed away. she died. she turned. she stayed away. it plays on a loop in his head — over and over and over, never stopping. it makes him wonder and think what happened to his sister — his gorgeous little sister with stars in her eyes and a beautiful smile, who deserved to get out of their tiny town just as much as him — if not more. ) he jerks away from her then, taking a pointed step backwards, disgust curling through his stomach. — she may look like the woman he loves, his soulmate, — but she isn’t belle. maybe she never will be again. “we both know. so why? why… did you stay… away?” there’s a slight tremble to his bottom lip: though out of anger or sadness is anyone’s guess. eyes narrow as he stares at her, the silence around them growing thick and heavy. “i think you owe me that.”

AND THERE IT WAS, THAT DISGUST SHE’D BEEN SO AFRAID OF SEEING reflected off of his eyes—- once upon a time, those same eyes stared back at her with so much love. her heart stung with pain. she knew he’d react this way, and she couldn’t blame him, but she’d never realized how unbearable it’d be to experience. belle knew she was a monster, and now he did too. years before, she thought differently. she thought that she could just stay away for awhile, learn to control her hunger, then come back to show him that she was still the same woman he’d fell in love with. but those dreams were crushed a very long time ago, from the moment innocent blood stained her hands to the moment she saw him drive a stake through another’s heart. 

now here they were, from lovers to ex-lovers, to the hunter and the hunted. his words weigh heavy on her conscience, and despite knowing the answer, belle couldn’t bring herself to say it. the explanation sits at the tip of her tongue and lingers, burning through soft flesh as another period of silence falls upon them.   “   i. . .   “   she what? she knows she owes him the TRUTH. she owes him a lot more than that.   “   i didn’t want to stay away. . . but i had to.   “   she gulps deeply after the words finally leave her mouth. but the beginning of her confession sparked something inside of the girl, and suddenly, everything that’d been locked away in the dark crevices of her mind, things she didn’t think she’d ever have to speak of again, came gushing out in a cascade of revelation.   “   what i was—-- what i am, it’s not something i can control. back then, it was even worse. i couldn’t, tommy. i couldn’t.   “   her voice falls into a low tremor, and she starts to shake her head.   “   but i tried, i really did. i thought i could control it and i thought i did and i. . . i found you and i was gonna tell you what happened but. . . then i watched you kill him.   “   her breathing grew faster and faster as more words came spilling from her mouth.   “   i saw that you’d changed and i didn’t know what you’d do to me if you found out. . . if you found out what i am. i wasn’t worried about dying—-- oh, god, that was the least of my worries, if anything i wanted to die! . . . but i was with someone. i couldn’t just leave them behind. i had to stay for them.  i’m sorry.  “