𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬 /﹩

@maluma: @perrieedwards ' cause i'm a man ' is about to be my justification for /everything/. thanks for agreeing :)

             i’m not actin’ like anything, sofia, i’m just callin’ shit as it is. SIMPLE. see, was that so hard for you to admit ? after all these years, this is the moment that i’ve been waitin’ for. so, thanks. i’m actually over the fuckin’ moon right now .... but, of course, there ‘ya go droppin’ me right back on my ass. i don’t know, you say that now n’ all it takes is that one time for you to slip up n’ change your mind. don’t sleep on me just yet.

that’s NOT what i was gettin’ at, but thanks for havin’ all the faith in the world when it comes to me. really. this square zero won’t last long either, my love. just wait on it. well, if there’s any ex that rightfully deserves his second chance then it’s me. why ? because. you never know what you had until you lose it, and i royally fucked up. i know that. sayin’ you’re over it, and actually being over it is actually two different things. sorry to burst your bubble. name ‘em, maybe then i’ll start takin’ responsibility for my shit. i’ll wait. alright, that one actually hurt me. come for me, babygirl, not my arguments. 

are you kiddin’ me ? that was the biggest ‘ fuck you, juan ’ if i’ve ever seen one ─── and trust me, i’ve seen PLENTY of ‘em within my lifetime. but this, this one hurt way too much for me to lie about. i dunno, p, the list is gettin’ shorter and shorter by the day. true, maybe i should have my fans come bring me something. good idea ? oh, of course, got it all hooked up for my own personal viewin’ pleasures. wow, so what’s january then ? i will happily take that, my love. nice to know i can push all of your buttons, honestly. shit, alright, nice way to keep me in check. i like where this is going now, p, keep it up ! really ? seven days from today then. you’re ON.

you know that’s not the ONLY thing on my mind, selena, or else we wouldn’t be  here right now. damn, not even square one ? shit. well, that ex-boyfriend really doesn’t compare to me. i mean, are you with him ? exactly. oi, you clearly aren’t lettin’ this shit go anytime soon. tell your friend that i’m comin’ over soon, n’ to make sure she keeps her hands to herself. i know i’m a good look, alright. i don’t need her flingin’ herself onto me, like it usually does. no worries, i don’t ruin things anyway. i make ‘em B E T T E R. that’s nothing.

            hold on a second, am i processin’ this correctly, or am i being delusional again ? sofia carson, apologizin’ ? that’s CRAZY. but, uh, i’m happy you’ve finally come to your senses after all of this time. you’ve gotten this far with your feelings, ain’t there some ‘ i have an undyin’ love for you ’ sort of thing comin’ on soon ? either way, i got what i came here for. i was your first fuckin’ love, wow. ‘n you expect me to keep things platonic after that ? muy, muy difícil de hacer, but i’ll try. 

@maluma: @perrieedwards and i hide mine with no shirt on cause that's a good distraction :)

again, why would you want that life for me ? i’m makin’ sure your life is all peaches n’ cream here, p, i should be gettin’ the same back. i know you, n’ that pretty much sums up the people who matter. as much as i wish i wasn’t home, i’m currently livin’ the dream, which means doing things for myself. i know, i’m surprised too. my birthday already passed though, n’ it’s clear january is the superior month. sorry. fine, but i have to bring something too .. what’s my something ? this is your chance to put me in my place, my love. c’mon, i could probably go an entire week without gettin’ into shit. i think. 

oh, i see. that’s okay too, i mean, i would use it in a S E X U A L way more than anything. okay, rude, everythin’ in there costs more than your ex-boyfriends combined. n’ i’m surprised you haven’t lit that shit up after all this time .... which means you really do care about me. i’m honored. oi, hard to believe you when all you’re doin’ is lying. let’s do it, ma. how much ?

you just want me to make a complete ass of myself, don’t you ? jokes on you though, my love, i do that all by myself. see, there’s nothin’ more i could possibly want from life when you’re sayin’ that. just saying.

          no fair, i was JUST askin’ you that same question n’ you played it off. there’s no way i’m lettin’ you spin this one on me, sofia. see, you’re sayin’ that but it’s not clickin’ in my head. i saw how you looked at me, how you touched me, it’s more than just that. but hey, i’ll let ‘ya think whatever you want. shit, you weren’t ? now i feel like i need to make up for the time i spent savin’ up my ‘lil friends for you. that’s crazy. not me, i mean, i’m still not goin’ anywhere until you really, truly want me to. you don’t want that. si realmente lo lamentas, entonces dejarías de hacer esto. deja de evitarme, sé que realmente no te sientes así por mí.

@maluma: @perrieedwards now i get why we're super close, mi linda flor :) you're just as evil as me and i love it :)

hey, hey, hey ! do you have any idea as to what would happen if this got out ? people would be expectin’ things from me, and that’s not good. one or two people, yeah. even then it’s hard to resist this. i could really go for some pancakes right now, thank you. you did this. barely, which means it’s still SOMETHING n’ that should count. you bring the sass, i’ll bring the sex appeal ... everyone goes home happy. or, you could be the one person who doesn’t want to cause me any form of pain ! i, personally, think that’s all the fun in the world right there, no ? if you’re going to talk a big game then you HAVE to back it up, so, i’m doin’ my job here. a chastity belt ? maybe one with a string of barbed wire hangin’ off ? think about it.

@maluma: @perrieedwards you didn't say wear, so it'll happily be /somewhere/ in my closet :)

thanks, ma, i’m thrilled knowin’ there’s someone other than myself who thinks so. there’s a couple people who enjoy sittin’ on their ass all day, super unfortunate. at least you’re honest, mila, but i’ll definitely be there to guide ‘ya through the whole thing. that’s why sometimes ‘ya have to let people see what you want ‘em to. that way, are you really gettin’ hurt ? no. hey, don’t worry about it. they should, except i open my mouth n’ it’s way less intimidating. whoa, a true player of the game never reveals his secrets.

          alright, now you’re just sayin’ whatever you have to in order to prove yourself. you know, prove the fact that someone’s still in love with me after these years. it’s okay, sofia, you don’t have to push me away again. although, i’m not askin’ you to break up with him i mean, unless you want to, then i definitely second that motion. no can do, babygirl, it only goes up for him. being humble doesn’t get you to the top, being ATTRACTIVE n’ talented does. tú eres el que lo arruina fingiendo que no sucedió. pero como sea, siempre soy el malo.

i’ll take it. huh, is that what you tell people about me ? i rocked your world a C O U P L E times. there’s no way i’m leavin’ without ‘em. sorry. hold on, ¿ quién es él ? i know it’s not that kid you call an ex. it’s FINE though, i’ll wait til’ you come crawlin’ back to me.