McFuggery's Last Defender

It's still inside the Hole by 窓口基

Also Metroid: Listen, There are just fucking ghosts, nobody actually understands them except for some bird guys and maybe some mothmen, the bird guys fucked off to another plain of existence but not before bioengineering a creature that we can consistently genetically manipulate as it’s a real flesh and blood creature than none the less doesn’t seem to eat anything tangible but also eats just like energy in general somehow, Also Also there is an unrelated space thing that has a unique radiation pattern that apparently causes the ghosts (which are real and a thing) to go insane and violent, and also is consistently replicable and science can explain a lot of it but the FUCKING GHOSTS ARE JUST A THING THE SPACE PIRATES HAVE A GHOST ON STAFF AND WE JUST HAVE TO HOLD THAT THERE ARE JUST GHOSTS THERE ARE GHO-

Also Also Metroid: The Galaxy’s Number 1 Bounty Hunter/Enemy of the State is a normal human who has been genetically engineered by the Bird People, we know this, she worked with the government, we have her records.

Also Also Also Metroid: Nobody understands how her suit works except for her, and she’s not telling, also it can seemingly just absorb like…energy from things to repair it and also despite being a very tangible real thing it also apparently runs on will power(?) Somehow (?) and if she stops focusing for too long or get’s throw out of whack emotionally it can stop working except when it doesn’t and there are apparently clear consistent rules to it and also It was made by the bird people and it really easily adapts to the weird hyper parasite things that we were talking about and oh yeah it can kill the ghosts which are a thing, she can’t just do that apparently, Samus Aran can kill the soul Apparently, boss are we not gonna talk about this what about the fucking morphball she just turns into energy or something we haven’t really figured that out and APPARENTLY the Suit can shoot pure “life energy” at things I guess, but also it’s genetically a part of her apparently because the bits we cut off and exposed to a super parasite thing that can copy living things just straight up made copies of her, just so many copies of her all of them capable of-

in all seriousness i think its because we welcomed them with such feral delight. like every single tumblr user individually saw the reddit refugees and were like "ok listen. we love you honey and hope you're feeling good and here are the instructions" and they did SO MUCH MORE THAN WE THOUGHT THEY WOULD!!! AND NOW ALL OF THEM ARE LIKE HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!

but metroid is also about learning to do trick jumps from random animals who celebrate when you get it right, and about saving them even as the planet shudders under your feet

and metroid is about lowering your gun when you meet the last of a species who's only just hatched, and gently holding out your hand

and metroid is about accidentally calling the name of someone you care about, who you thought you'd lost, and finding out they've been with you the whole time

and about a little scribble of a child with their parents tucked into the corner of a grand mural

and about the gifts left behind by others because they may be gone before they get to meet you, but that won't stop them from helping you