i mourn them...
YOU JUST HAD TO REMIND ME I JUST STOPPED CRYING
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i mourn them...
YOU JUST HAD TO REMIND ME I JUST STOPPED CRYING
d3rlord3 hot iongaf

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he thinks he bagged a mysterious baddie but i'm singing the epic soundtrack while driving
let woman be delusional 🙏
there are no words to describe how I’m feeling…
lokissweater’s mlb megumi series has altered my brain chemistry and my expectations and standards of what i want in a man
sideline sweetheart ꨄ︎
{mlb!megumi fushiguro x f!reader}
summary: it's time to audition for the nfl cheerleaders! and you're absolutely fucking shitting it, you profusely debating if you even have what it takes to earn a shining glimmering spot at one of the nfl's most prestigious cheer teams. but while you're stuck wondering if you're enough for it... megumi is stuck wanting to be enough for you throughout this time, desperately wanting to give back for the immensely sweet support you have given him throughout his baseball career, and trying his absolute best to be there for you and be a pillar of aid to your anxiety filled little self.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, cursing, FLUFFF AFF YALL ALR KNOW, sexual themes, nsfw, SMUT hallelujah, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it y'all), creampie mmm, LOVESICK megumi, DOMINANT megumi he's so rough yum, JEALOUS megumi oh my oh my, filthy dirty talk, barely any angst, grinding, mentions of drinking and alcohol, mentions of inebriation, pet names, mentions of injury, all characters are aged up, mentions of reader having ‘pink cheeks’ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 19.2k
authors note: WORLDS SLOWEST WRITER AWARD GOES TO ME Y'ALL OMMMFGGGG but the wait is FINALLY over. our cool baseball man is HOME and READY to smooch all up on you guys!!! i hope with my entire being that you guys LAAAUVV this update just as much as i do :,) I LOVE YOU SOOO FUCKING MUCH MWAH MWAH !!! <333 cutie heart divider by @/sisterlucifergraphics !!
i highly advise you to read the other parts of this series or else you won’t be able to understand some of the storyline and references :( you can find my mlb!megumi fushiguro masterlist here!
PART TWO of this fic is available here! i write too much my god.
“i’ll do an underhand toss so you can catch it baby.”
“no gumi.” you pointed a silly finger at him, wagging it with a quirk to the brow. “don’t go easy on me i can handle it. if i can’t catch a ball what the hell am i gonna do with cheerleading.”
megumi snorted, a little smile of amusement on his face as he moved a leg behind and planted his foot on the dirt, reeling his arm back with the ball in hand.
“you ready?”
“yes.” you blurted. “wait— no? wait yes! wait—” you slapped a hand over your forehead and groaned.
“i’m not cut out for cheerleading man...” you mumbled, gaze trailing down as you fiddled with your gloved hand. “they’re gonna eat me alive… and then tell me i taste nasty… and then spit me out—”
“baby i think baseball and cheerleading are two different things.” he chuckled softly, a soft glint of humor in his eye as he straightened up and gently beckoned you over with a nudge of his head, you slumping to him with dragging feet and trying not to audibly scream at how godly your man looked in his baseball uniform right now, all scuffed up and dirty from practice, with his spiky locks peeking underneath his cap and sweaty glistening delicious forehead—
megumi squished your cheeks together and pecked your lips, tilting your face up a little to grab your gaze.
“you’ll be fine. i promise.” he spoke lowly, eyes directly on you as your heart fluttered over his kind reassurance. “don’t worry too much about it tonight please… you’ll lose sleep.”
auditions for the nfl cheer team were tomorrow morning, and you and your best friend had been absolutely shitting it over the fact, spending every waking moment since the halloween party screaming and scrambling around trying to learn and perfect the required choreography before the big day, both megumi and yuji standing back with blinking big dumb eyes as they watched the two of you rehearse the number over and over, falling to your knees and borderline sobbing anytime either of you messed up a certain step.
they often had to wipe your blubbering fat tears while avoiding accidentally ticking you off at the same time, as it had happened one too many times already over something unhelpful they said.
yuji and megumi had been living in fear for a week straight.
and since the two of you got along so well with the cheer team at the halloween party, the captain specifically, you knew that them giving you the shining privilege of skipping straight through to the final stages of auditions wasn’t something that they just did for anyone they happened to come across, and the thought only made you and your girl friend sick with anxiety over you both potentially embarrassing yourselves, and deflating the sparkling impression they all had of you that you so drunkenly happened to curate.
“i don’t think i’m gonna get much sleep anyways gumi…” you moped, your anxious little doe eyes softening his heart as they looked at him. “i’m planning on practicing the choreo all night until i pass out from exhaustion.”
he stared at you bewildered.
“no baby you’re not doing that.”
“and why not?” you pouted. “i’ve done it before! sometimes i make fan edits of you playing ball until four am what’s the difference.”
his eyes widened and he burst out laughing, cheeks going pink as he delicately let your face go and nudged your forehead with his finger through your giggles.
“dummy.” he mumbled. “i told you to stop doing that.”
“i know i’m sorry i relapsed...” you whined, a little mischievous silly grin growing on your face then as you wiggled your brows at him. “but if you flash me i’ll cut down to two am!—”
“oh my god—”
you giggled hard at his pinky cheeks that increased in shade before your very eyes the more you kept talking, him shamelessly enjoying every second of it as he raised a hand and softly pinched your little cheek.
“silly girl.” he mumbled. “you’re sleeping over at my place tonight.”
you gasped, heart filled gaze twinkling up at him as you bounced on your toes and vigorously nodded, the corners of his lips quirking up at the sight.
“actually?!” you gushed. “i’d love to guuumiii! oh thank god because i was gonna lose my fucking mind tonight if i didn’t have some sort of supervision—”
megumi was more than well aware of exactly how much you sweetly supported him through every aspect of his career endeavors, you in attendance to practically everything— his games, select team meetings, banquets, practices— something that was an absolute precious privilege for him to have and a factor he didn’t take lightly in the slightest.
he cherished it, wholeheartedly and deeply as he subconsciously looked for you and hoped for your bubbling self in positively every event he had, and the absence of your presence being abundantly obvious any time you rarely couldn’t make it to something of his due to school or a family event that clashed with his scheduling, spending the entirety of whatever commitment he had bored out of his mind as a result, missing important information because he kept silently thinking about your pretty face, itching to get back to you any chance he could.
and he wanted to do the exact same for you.
he wanted to be at every cheer event, every game, every meeting, every rehearsal without fail and give back the warm support you had showed him throughout your entire relationship, and he hoped with every fiber of his grumpy being that you and your best friend did make it on the team, for he knew and felt how bad you actually wanted it despite your silly poor attempts at hiding it.
he knew it’d make you happy. and he wanted more than anything for you to be happy.
“— and i’m still gonna rehearse ‘till i drop though i don’t care if you’re shirtless and your gorgeous tits are in my face—”
“baby.”
“yes.” you blurted, smiling up at him so sweetly that he nearly forgot the absurd statement that just came out of your mouth.
“i have no doubt in my mind that you’re gonna make it on the team... because you will.”
your face softened, gently tilting your head to the side.
“you think so gumi?”
“mhm.”
“and how does my cool baseball man know that? hmm?”
he pinched your side and you squirmed away with a laugh.
“because i just do.” he mumbled. “trust me... okay?”
the biggest smile flashed across your face then, eyes glowing and you utterly lovesick as you looked at your boyfriend’s handsome gentle face, the faith he had in you so contagious that you couldn’t help but let it in your overthinking mind and believe it, for he was quite literally the only one who could break through your stubborn brain and ease your worries until they were next to nothing and silly.
you giddily jumped in his arms then and he quickly caught you with a surprised oof, your legs wrapping around his waist and arms around his head as you squeezed the side of his face into your chest through your gushing, megumi’s neck growing hot at the way your puffy boobs squished up against his cheek, a sneaky smile slowly playing at his lips as he hoisted you up and tried not to let his dick swell up.
“you’re so sweet gumi thank youuu!” you gushed, pulling back and peppering kisses all over his face as he laughed, the warmth in his chest at your affection so fuzzy and addicting that his insides completely melted over and oozed everywhere else.
“you’re welcome.” he murmured. “do you feel better?”
“i do baby!” you beamed, ever so gently running your thumbs over his warm cheeks as he looked up at you. “and i have no doubt in my mind that you’re gonna win the world series... again!”
he chuckled and softly pecked the side of your neck.
“i hope so. if not i’m gonna have to deal with yuji crying and screaming in my ear about how we’ve ‘lost our touch’ or whatever the fuck.”
you laughed.
“i think i’m gonna be crying and screaming in your ear if i don’t make the cheer team gumi...” you muttered, wringing your arms around his neck and mushing the side of your face to his. “i’m no better than yuji...”
“yeah but i love you not him—”
“heyyyuuhhh!”
you both jumped and snapped your heads around, your face lighting up at the sight of yuji and your girl friend walking across the field over to you, megumi rolling his eyes at being interrupted like always and never seeming to have a moment alone with you so long as they were there, giving the back of your thighs a gentle squeeze before carefully setting you down.
“you don’t love me man?” yuji pouted. “after everything we’ve been through? after every home run and squabble? every loss? every shower?—”
you and your best friend cackled as megumi tossed both his and your gloves on the dirt, scowling with narrowed eyes.
“no idiot—”
“but why?!—”
“because you’re annoying—”
“—ahh silly silly men.” your girl friend sighed with a shake of the head and turning to you, her absolute done expression making you laugh as you nodded in agreement, you extending an arm out then to engulf her in a snuggling hug that she happily reciprocated.
“how you feeling babe? yu and i were just about to leave but i wanted to come say bye real quick.” she gave you an affectionate squeeze, the two of you swaying side to side and silently on the verge of bursting on the inside. “are you as sick as i am? hah… do we want to have another meltdown? or are we saving it for tomorrow morning in the parking lot—”
“—listen i know i’m no y/n but i thought you somewhat loved me man!—”
“—shut up—”
“oh i’m about to lose my fucking mind now girl.” you breathed out, fingers digging in the strands of your hair as you rapidly shook your head side to side. “what did we— what did we even say that night? why did they like us so much? when did— how—”
your best friend was quick to mirror you— quickly shaking her head while throwing her hands up in confused emphasis at what you were saying, taking no time at all to match your energy as she let herself explode and heave with you, pupils blown out as she grabbed both your wrists then and clutched them like a lifeline.
“oh god i don’t know i was—” she dryly swallowed. “i was too busy fake arresting yuji in the bathroom after that i— i forgot to log what they said in my brain!—”
yuji and megumi’s bickering slowly seized at the sound of your commencing hysterics, staring wide eyed and bewildered.
“—why did i have so many freaking bamboo shots oh my god?!” you panted, hands breaking out of her hold to grip and yank at her shoulders. “i don’t remember anything oh my god all i remember was that i— i had a blue hawaiian and there was some bitch named hana and then i was upstairs on my knees with my hands tied behind my back getting—”
“—baby please don’t finish that—”
“fuck wait! what— what time is call time tomorrow?!” your girl friend cried out, cutting a flustered megumi off. “was it six am? seven?!—”
“no i— i think it was nine! or was it— was it ten?!—”
“twelve?!”
“FUCK!—”
with one look, both men simultaneously decided to wring you two apart and pick you up— megumi grabbing you by the thighs and throwing you over his shoulder as you squealed, and yuji scooping your yelling best friend up bridal style while the two of them backed away from each other, feet dragging against the dirt as you and your girl friend squirmed and wiggled in their grasps.
“down gumi down!—”
“nope.”
“you guys cannot be together until tomorrow morning.” yuji giggled boyishly, actively wrestling with your girl friend as she fought against his hold. “or you’re gonna— keep setting each other off and— blow up before even getting to auditions— HAH BABE! hands off the goods not in front of the people—”
“yeah but if i blow up that means i don’t have to go.” your miserable soft voice spoke up from behind, megumi huffing out a laugh and raising a hand to pinch at your side, eliciting a thrash and cute giggle from you in response that he was hoping for.
“you’re going baby.” he spoke gently to you. “and call time is at eight am.”
yuji and megumi started making their way across the empty field with their respective ladies in their arms, through the warm setting sun— out the gates and down the familiar main echoey tunnel that led to the team’s locker rooms, your man stopping just outside the double doors and turning his body to the side so you could properly bid your friends goodbye from behind.
“bring y/n down here megumi you’re hogging her and i need to give her a farewell smooch.” your best friend spat, you giggling as megumi rolled his eyes and turned his back, bending down a little until you were eye level with her.
you happily extended your arms out and wrapped each other up in tight hugs, exchanging silly cheek kisses with exaggerated mwah’s! before you both pulled apart.
“i’ll see you tomorrow babe okay?” you smiled kindly at her, and she nodded.
“yes! you staying over at freak’s place tonight?”
she snickered and you flicked her in the forehead, shooting her a playful look as she whined and rubbed over the stinging spot.
“fine— are you staying at fushiguro’s place tonight… you likey better?”
“yup yup!—”
“freak fushiguro—”
you smacked her in the shoulder this time and she laughed, quickly reaching out again to wring you back into a secure hug, both men trying to balance your sudden movements and avoid accidentally dropping you.
“i’m sorry i love you i’m done i’m done!” she tumbled out. “but i assume you are… right?”
you chuckled in her hold. “i am! he’s supervising me for the night and making sure i don’t go insane.”
your girl friend perked up.
“ouuu supervision i see?” she wiggled her brows. “and does this supervision perhaps entail sexy freaky time with your plump tits in megumi’s face— HEY!”
megumi had sharply spun you back around and ripped you away until it was him facing her instead, a look of stern twitching agitation on his face as he broodingly looked down at her.
“what is wrong with you.”
“give me back my woman i wasn’t done talking to her!”
“stop with your weird fucking questions then.”
she offendedly gasped.
“they’re not weird! they’re informational and i have every right to know if my best friend is potentially getting mauled by you tonight.”
he scowled. “how the hell is that your right—”
“because i need to know if you’re gonna be a parasite on her neck so i can at least bring a fucking ice pack tomorrow!— yu tell him—”
yuji snapped his head up from momentarily dozing off. “HUH? what happen—”
“okay!” you laughed from behind, wiggling and angling your body to try and look at her from your bent over position, megumi hiking you up a little further on his shoulder before begrudgingly turning back around so you could face your irritating girl friend again.
“tomorrow.” you grabbed her hand and held it with a squeeze, a cheeky smile etched on your lips. “it’ll be fine babe! we’ll be okay we just have to do a few shimmies and pirouettes and jump kicks and splits! that’s it!”
“r— right!” she exclaimed with a nod. “and then just do all that while traveling like fifty yards across the field! but that’s fine right? we’ll be alright?”
“uh huh!” you nodded. “and then just do a kick line with the rest of the cheerleaders for like a minute straight before doing the jump split! it’s not that bad.”
“exactly!”
a moment of silence settled between the lot of you, the both of you blinking at each other— expressions unreadable.
“i think i forgot the fucking routine.” you blurted.
“i forgot how to do the jump split!” she burst out. “and— and we just practiced this morning and i already forgot—”
you gawked. “oh my god?! i forgot too i forgot too!—”
“shit! we have to practice and we have to practice now—”
“—we’re gonna be the biggest fuck ups on the entire team oh jesus—”
“—alright you’re done.”
yuji and megumi wretched you both apart then amidst your frantic blubbering once more, your interlaced hands slipping away as you whined and thrashed again in their holds.
“no gumi you don’t get it you don’t understand i’m about to embarrass myself and i need to be your cheerleader wife!—”
you flailed your legs out and megumi was quick to lock his arms around them to keep them still, a tiny quirk to his mouth as he amusedly watched you fidget and grumble, turning around to face yuji.
“i’ll see you later man.” yuji chuckled, readjusting your girl friend as she writhed around and fought him, though eventually accepting defeat— huffing with crossed arms over his strong grip. “or we’re actually gonna be here all night watching them lose it.”
megumi curtly nodded and placed a hand on the locker room door handle, pushing it open and stepping a foot inside.
“bye.”
“wait! do you actually not love me—”
“bye.”
the locker room door slammed shut behind you both and you giggled, your legs absentmindedly swinging as he brought you around the spacious room and to the bench nearest to his locker, gently setting you down and planting his hands on either sides of you where you sat, his face close to yours.
“y/n.”
“yes gumi?” you smiled kindly.
“what is it gonna take for you to believe me when i say you’re gonna be fine.”
you pondered for a moment, eyes looking up before a cheeky grin settled, tilting your head to the side and peering up at him.
“a kith.”
a close-lipped smile slowly grew on his face as he leaned in, lips softly pressing to yours and deepening with every move of your wet mouths folding and smacking, megumi taking a deep breath in through his nose as he dipped in further and devoured your plushy lips, the blood in his veins pumping as you kissed him back with just as much need as him that he contemplated if it was a good idea for him to just— slip a hand up your top and feel your boobs for a little bit…
“gumi.” you mumbled in between kisses.
“uh huh—” he breathed out in your mouth, hot misty air fanning across your face as you lip locked. “you okay?—”
“squeeze my tit please.”
he choked against your lips and pulled away, chuckling softly at the fact that your little brain was funnily thinking the same thing he was, but ultimately shutting the idea down once his hazy mind was met with a bit of clarity from your tiny steamy make out session, the matter at hand resurfacing as he looked at you with soft serious eyes.
“i would pretty baby.” he murmured. “but then i’ll get hard.”
you giggled and poked his cheek.
“that’s the point.” you emphasized. “and me thinks you should perhaps get your big dick out and let it live and breathe.”
laughing some more, he shook his head and stood upright, stepping around the bench to get to his locker and tugging it open to pull out his duffel bag, taking his cap off and hanging it on a small hook inside.
“what?!” you pouted. “maaaann i thought we were about to do it in here…”
the idea was extremely and agonizingly enticing to him, one he wouldn’t even think twice about or take anything at all from you to convince him and have you trapped against the lockers with his cock stuffed in you… but the fact of how nervous you were about auditions tomorrow forced him to put his horny sick thoughts away for once— wanting you to stay focused, rest up, and get as much sleep as you possibly could instead of feeling sore in the morning because he couldn’t keep his fucking dick in his pants.
which was also almost embarrassingly never when it came to you, even after blessedly being together for two years and counting.
“it’s getting late baby… i want you to get enough sleep for tomorrow.” he unplucked the last button of his jersey before shrugging it off, you extending a hand out to gently take it from him then— neatly folding it over and setting it down on your lap as he changed out of the rest of his uniform.
“but i told you gumi i still have to rehearse for a little bit at your place regardless…” you mumbled, your index finger absentmindedly tracing over the patched logo of his team on his jersey. “how else am i supposed to be your cheerleader wife…”
he pulled a clean shirt over his head and sighed softly through his nose, closing his locker and moving a few steps over to take a seat next to you on the opposite side of the bench, shoulder to shoulder with you as he tucked some of your hair behind your ear.
“you are that regardless.” he spoke lowly, gently. “i don’t need you to be a cheerleader for me to see you that way… you know that.”
your cheeks flared as you looked down, your heart thumping over his tender sweetness that you never got enough of no matter how many times he had kindly shown it to you, you absolutely giddy over the reminder that he saw a complete future with you as his wife, even if he had already made it very clear to you just a week prior.
it was still so lovely to hear again all the same.
he lightly nudged at the promise ring on your finger and you laughed softly, your eyes gradually lifting to finally make eye contact with him, shining and hopeful as you nodded and kissed his cheek.
“thank you gumi.” you nearly whispered. “for always being there for me.”
in comparison to everything you had ever done for him throughout the course of your relationship, he felt his efforts were nothing against yours as you had done way more than just be there for him— above and fucking beyond actually… but his chest utterly warmed over anyways at your unbelieving kindness and gratitude over something so small. over the bare minimum of what it was to be your boyfriend.
you never expected much from anyone and got excited over the silliest of things… and it never failed to make megumi just— fall.
time and time again without needing much but a look from you for him to do so.
“i love you.” he mumbled, and you melted, your foreheads coming to rest against each other’s then— eyelids gradually closing as you relished in what it was to be together and happy and peaceful.
“i love you baby.” you murmured softly. “very very much.”
“more than coffee cake?”
the cute bundles of laughter you let out then made megumi wholeheartedly smile, teeth and all as his forehead detached from yours so he could see for himself what it looked like.
you puffed a breath out and shook your head, shrugging. “i don’t know man… that’s a tough one… but if you flashed me like i asked earlier maybe the answer will come to me—”
his eyes narrowed as he pinched at your side, you squealing and moving your torso to and fro in attempts at dodging his repeating tries until he wrapped an arm around your waist to trap you, pulling you in flush against his chest as you giggled through his continued pinches.
“i’m sorry gumi i’m— HEH— i’m kidding! i’m kidding i—”
“fix it.”
“flash me!—”
craning his neck down he gnawed at your cheek in response, you gasping and wiggling at the tickling feeling as you pushed on his chest to try and get away.
“it’s a prank! it’s a prank i love you so so much more than coffee cake!—”
“swear it.”
“i swear!—”
megumi didn’t think he’d ever seen you this nervous before.
because watching you get ready for auditions the following morning— kissing him awake, packing your things in your duffel bag, doing your makeup and styling your hair, brushing your teeth, preparing the smallest and quickest breakfast he had ever seen you prepare in his life (and offering way more for him than yourself), slipping on your required sparkly navy blue athletic uniform—
you were just… quiet. barely speaking at all and only doing so when he spoke to you first or asked you a question, his apartment that was usually filled and bouncing with your chatter about anything under the sun, now still and borderline eerie as his eyes remained permanently trained on you as you moved around his place, softly muttering to yourself about something that you’d forgotten or reciting steps from your routine to better solidify it.
and it worried him.
“you sure you don’t want me to make you a little piece of toast like mine gumi?” you kindly offered, slathering on a thin layer of strawberry jam on your slice of bread. “i could even add banana slices to it?”
why weren’t you adding banana slices to yours.
you were barely eating anything…
“no m’okay baby thank you.” he murmured, and you turned your head in his direction— your gaze softening at the sight of his sleepy handsome face as he rubbed over an eye with his fist, a black shiny coffee mug in hand as he leaned against the kitchen island next to you.
you stood on your tippy toes and pressed a cute peck to his cheek, the act waking him up a little more as his gaze flickered down to yours with a small drowsy smile, him lifting a hand and placing it on top of your head— giving it a little rub.
“are you okay.”
“mhm!” you quickly nodded, lying. “i’m almost ready too i just need to pack a few more things.”
he held your gaze for a moment before lightly moving your head closer by his hand and kissing your temple, arm dropping after as he pushed himself off the counter and wordlessly left the kitchen, leaving you there in your blundering thoughts as you swallowed the thick lump in your throat, the smallest bit of appetite that you’d curated during your time getting ready flying out the window the longer you stood there silently by yourself.
each training day for auditions was like fighting for your life, as the coaches watched over each and every single girl like hawks and critiqued not only their actual technique, but their stamina, their looks, how well they fit on the already existing team, how well they upheld their sparkling pristine image, and even their media training skills as they were often interviewed and scouted by sports channels during various nfl games about questions pertaining to the current season, the exposure only worsening the closer the cheer team’s football players got to the super bowl.
which is why the coaches strongly emphasized on character at times rather than technique from the articles you’d read.
you figured this was the sole reason why you and your best friend were able to skip over the preliminary rounds and straight to training camp in the first place, because of the good word the captain had put in for you.
and you didn’t know if you could go on with your life if you managed to fuck it up and embarrass yourself by getting eliminated on the first day…
pursing your lips, you set your piece of uneaten toast down on your plate and nudged it off to the side, grabbing your jacket from a nearby barstool and padding your way out of the kitchen to the living room, you so caught up in your loud idiot head that you almost didn’t notice the way your things were neatly set down and ready for you on the couch— your duffel bag zipped up, your water bottle filled and tucked snug in the pockets of your bag, your clean white sneakers side by side on the floor, and megumi— sitting down next to your things and head snapping up upon hearing you come in, clicking his phone off and getting up off the couch.
“you got my things for me gumi..?” you murmured, your cheeks quickly going pink as you put your shoes on.
“yeah.” he grabbed the strap of your duffel bag and swung it over his shoulder, sliding his keys off the coffee table before extending a hand out for you, the other on the front door handle. “you ready?”
you grinned and took his awaiting hand. “to get sent home? yup!”
he playfully rolled his eyes and lead you out of his apartment to his car, him hoping that the little bit of help eased your nerves a bit as he popped open the trunk and set your stuff inside, the cool of the early morning air brushing through your skin and sending a shiver up your spine, you hurriedly getting in the car to get out of its frosty nipping as your boyfriend slammed the trunk shut and made his way around to the drivers seat, sliding in and closing the door.
“s’cold.” he mumbled, pressing the sleek ‘start’ button on his dash and igniting the engine to life, swiftly cranking up the intensity and temperature of the heater. “did you bring a jacket?”
“i did!” you reached into the backseat and grabbed it, showing it to him as he leaned over then to buckle your seatbelt for you.
and when he clicked it secure, he paused, brows furrowing the tiniest bit as he looked at it.
“it’s thin baby.” he settled back in his seat and shifted the gear to reverse, pulling out of his parking space and zooming through the structure until he made it out on the streets. “take mine once we get there.”
“wha—” you gawked. “no gumi it’s okay! please don’t you’ll be cold…”
“i’m in a car with a heater.” he deadpanned. “you’re gonna be outside for most of the day on the field… take my jacket please.”
you grumbled and shifted your body to face the window.
you saw his eyes narrow at your change of position from the corner of your eyes, and you pursed your lips, holding back your snickers for the sake of your pride as he drove.
“turn back around.” he mumbled, making a left. “and you’re still taking my jacket.”
“nuh uh you’re so funny gumi to think that i’d ever listen—”
“you’re taking it.”
“no.”
“y/n.”
“nopeity nope nop—”
he leaned over across the console and bit down on your cheek just as soon as he came to a red light, you squealing and squirming away in response as he leaned back in his seat and looked at your widened blinking eyes.
“pervert.”
he laughed at your dramatics and settled a palm over your bare thigh, giving it a gentle pull in his direction as a silly smile creeped up your lips then, shifting back over to face him and placing your own hand over his as he drove on.
much to megumi’s hope of relieving some more of your anxiety throughout the car ride— making small chats about your plans together for the weekend, soft sporadic pecks to your wrists and cheeks, or any little thing he could possibly think of to get you to just talk to him like you usually did… was all proven to be ineffective with the way you still sat in silence and looked out the window, switching between subconsciously picking at your nails or bouncing your knee or fiddling with the ends of your hair, not a peep out of your pretty mouth that he had been subtly trying to get moving all morning.
megumi loved how much you talked… and he very much disliked it when you didn’t, as the abnormal silence reminded him of a time in his life where he didn’t have you yet.
“are we on time?” he spoke up, taking a quick glance over at you as you snapped your head in his direction from the window, nodding.
“yes! i made sure to have thirty minutes of wiggle room heh.”
he hummed in acknowledgment. “how come.”
“so i have time to cry in the bathroom.”
he shot you a look and you laughed, your gaze shifting ahead to see that he was already pulling up to the football stadium, a chill shooting up your spine in response as you tried to not let your breathing go unsteady and make your nerves worse than they already were, your palms clamming up as you tucked a stray strand of hair behind you ear and told yourself not to be a fucking crybaby for once.
“just here at the front..?”
“mhm!”
he glanced at you for a quick moment and swallowed, looping around the parking lot until he found a space just by the main entrance, slowly pulling in and shifting his gear into park once he was settled.
you thought it was ironic that something you’d only ever dreamed of having before, spending years fangirling and following after one of the nfl’s most reputable cheer teams, admiring all that they did and never once actually thinking you could ever be in their shoes— the opportunity glimmering and exciting and right within arms reach… was the very same thing you were utterly terrified of… hesitant as you annoyingly remained seated in megumi’s passenger seat, agitated with yourself that you couldn’t just get your shit together and get out of the car.
you felt your man’s fingers slip through and interlace with yours, him bringing the back of your hand up to his lips and giving it a gentle lingering kiss, your heart fluttering at the sight as he lowered and set your locked hands over his lap, you looking at him with a little smile.
“back when i first tried out for the team i was really nervous.” he opened up, gaze down and him tenderly caressing over your skin with his thumb, you shifting your body a little to properly face him.
“you were?” you softly asked, and he nodded.
you didn’t know why the concept of megumi being nervous about baseball, the very sport he was an absolute god at, was hard for you to wrap your head around and comprehend.
“it was a private try out with just a few others that were scouted like i was.” he mumbled. “i almost didn’t go because i was so nervous about it.”
back then, before you… baseball was really the only thing he had that brought him the smallest sense of peace in his life from the suffocating isolation he otherwise felt everyday… and he didn’t want to fuck up the one sole thing that gave him that, because without it he wouldn’t have anything at all.
he was more than well aware that without baseball, he wouldn’t have you.
megumi leaned his head back against the headrest in thought, face blank.
“they had sent yuji off to a different stadium so i was entirely on my own… and there were so many evaluators and coaches and— scout directors… it was rare when scout directors were there for try outs.”
he frowned.
“and some dumb fuck decided it was a good idea to tell me that the reason they were there was to watch me.”
you softly giggled.
“it just made my nerves worse and i didn’t know how to make it better.”
he gradually tipped his head back down to his lap, gently untangling your interlocked hands and prying open your fingers to reveal your flat palm, wordlessly tracing figure eight’s onto it then with his index finger— his other hand cupping and holding it steady from underneath.
“when it was almost my turn to go out on the field i started doing this with my hands… dunno why but for some reason it ended up helping me.”
the feather light movements from the pad of his finger sent little tickles through your skin, and you stifled a laugh and twitched a little, the corner of megumi’s lips quirking upward as he continued to draw.
“i’m really glad that it did gumi.” you sweetly replied. “do you ever still do it?”
he nodded. “before every game.”
your eyes softened as you stared at him, gaze flickering down to your hands and watching him begin to trace a little heart on your palm, you internally screaming at that as he lifted your hand and brought it back over to rest on your own lap.
“try it baby.” he murmured. “maybe it’ll help you.”
he really hoped it would.
you listened and flattened out your palm, your other hand coming over to draw tiny loops with the pad of your middle finger, mimicking what he’d done earlier as you softly smiled to yourself and thought about how nice megumi was to pass down something as precious and meaningful as this.
because to you, tracing absentminded figure eights and squiggles meant that megumi was right there with you through whatever it was that was making you so nervous to begin with, believing in you and cheering you on through the feeling of cutesy doodles on your skin, reminding you of the eternal comfort and warmth he brought to you every single day without you having to utter a single peep about it.
thinking of a world where you could be on one of the nfl’s top cheerleading teams was like asking for a million dollars to just— poof to life and settle at your feet… but funnily enough, you had thought that very same thing about megumi, and yet here he was beside you— with your promise rings sitting pretty and twinkling on each other’s ring fingers, a bundle of memories stored in your little hearts that you’d curated so lovingly since the day you met.
you threw your arms around his neck then and wrung him in, megumi letting out a little surprised breath as he squeakily laughed and held you back, his nose dipping in the crook of your neck as he embraced you flush against his chest.
“thank you gumi!” you gushed, pulling away to press a series of quick pecks to his temple. “that made me feel so much better!”
“good.” he murmured against your skin, running a soothing hand up and down your back— satisfied that he was able to give back and be of some use to you at a time like this. “m’glad…”
megumi parted from your neck to look at you, the sight of your striking sunny face making his chest buzz as he leaned in and kissed you.
“get ‘em pretty baby.” he spoke softly against your lips. “you’ll do good.”
you lit up and kissed him again before pulling back and nodding, the both of you getting out of the car then and rounding your way to the trunk, megumi popping it open to retrieve your duffel bag for you.
“text me please. if you can.” he helped put the strap of your bag over your shoulder. “whenever you find the time.”
“i will! thank you gumi—” you stood on your tippy toes and quickly smooched his cheek, sending him a stunning smile after. “i’ll see you after okay? try not to go absolutely nuts without me and die.”
he snorted and gave you a singular nod.
“i’ll try.”
you gawked, eyes narrowing to slits. “you’ll try? oh! okay so you hate me then—”
“where did you even get that—”
“you just said you didn’t wanna yearn for me.”
“go inside.”
“oh! so now you wanna break up—”
“oh my god baby—”
maneuvering around the football stadium on the way to the dance room was like going through a fucking sick maze, the entirety of the team’s headquarters massive and yet sleek as you attempted to follow the directions the coaches had sent you via mass text, struggling to make sense of it while getting distracted every two seconds by every spacious conference room, every lounging area that was so elegant and pristine you nearly stopped multiple times just to test out the cushy looking sofas, and every never ending trophy hall you discovered, finding yourself comparing the size of it to megumi’s team headquarters— not knowing if this stadium was actually bigger… or if it just seemed like it was because you were unfamiliar with it.
but regardless, you could tell the team dropped big football money to get it to look as polished and brilliant as it did.
your phone buzzed and you looked down, the caller i.d. reading your best friend as you quickly hiked up your duffel bag and answered.
“hi babe!—”
“i’m fucking lost!” she cried. “this shit’s a labyrinth! a rich one! i can't even find the bathroom to pee!—”
you laughed and switched your phone to the other ear, proceeding to walk through the building again and hoping you’d somehow miraculously cross paths with her.
“tell me about it…” you mumbled, your eyes squinting over the various halls ahead of you and trying to decide which one to walk through. “every time i try to look at the map they sent i see a new plumpy couch i wanna sit on.”
“right?!” she gushed. “and i’m not saying our men’s headquarters are bad or anything… but this is actually crazy i feel like they could put this money towards a better coach though jesus—”
you snickered as you randomly decided to go towards the path to your right, stepping through another picture frame filled hall of the team’s endeavors throughout the seasons.
“how come? i thought he was a good one.”
“mmm his hair is too spiky.” she muttered. “i think i just have a problem with spiky haired men— oh! i found it i found it! i see the girls locker room sign aw its so pretty!—”
“where?!” you panicked. “oh god babe where are you if i don’t stop going into random fucking rooms i’m gonna be late and get sent home—”
“shit! okay uhhhh have you walked by the main loft yet? the one with the big star on the ground—”
“huh?!” you stopped dead in your tracks and frantically looked around, your eyes going to the floor to see what freaking star she was talking about as terror started brewing up in your chest, your mind already concocting different scenarios of you getting there late and getting yelled at like a loser and disappointing everyone you had ever come to know and love in your life—
“what star?!” you cried, spinning around on your heel and hastily walking the other direction. “i— i don’t see a star all i see is gorgeous furniture and more rooms i wanna go intoowuuhh!—”
“okay— describe your surroundings i’ll try and find you—”
“no! you just found it i feel like you’re gonna get lost—”
“fuck! no okay tell me how—”
you suddenly collided against something hard and stumbled back, your phone slipping from your hand and clattering to the ground as you lost your balance and teetered back, a pair of hands shooting out then to snatch your wrists— yanking you upright and saving you from the shit you were just about to eat on the floor.
“i’m so sorry!” a voice sputtered. “i— i wasn’t looking where i was going and i didn’t notice you—”
your gaze landed ahead on a football player from the team— dressed in his gear with widened remorseful eyes as they quickly scoured over you, his gaze dropping to the floor and bulging at the sight of your phone face first on the ground, snapping his body down to retrieve it before handing it back to you.
“shit is your phone okay? if— if it’s not i can replace it i swear it i’m really sorry—”
the fidgety bashful man in front of you was sort of— kind looking to you… and you flashed him a reassuring smile, shaking your head and waving him off.
“no its okay! don’t be sorry!” you sweetly expressed. “i wasn’t looking where i was going either heh… i’m lost like a moron and trying to find my way around.”
he breathed out a laugh then, nodding and shoulders gradually relaxing as he scratched the back of his neck.
“you’re a cheerleader for my team..? right?”
“uh huh!” you nodded. “well— auditioning… but i sure as fuck won’t be doing that either if i can’t find the damn locker rooms—”
“oh! i’ve seen a few times where it is.” he blinked down at you, a small smile on his face as he lowered his arm. “i could— i could take you there? if that’s okay with you? or i can try to find you a physical guide—”
“oh my— would you actually?” you asked hopefully. “i would really appreciate that! but— only if you absolutely can i don’t want to keep you away from anything you have to do…”
“no its okay!” he grinned. “practice doesn’t start for another hour i got time.”
he was so nice!
“thank you!” you gushed, and he nodded, the both of you making your way out of the random hallway you were just in and out towards the main area by the indoor field, you following close behind him as your eyes once again drank in your surroundings, yet this time with a little less anxiety knowing you were being helped by someone who actually knew their way around.
“are you guys doing training camp right now?” the football player spoke up, looking back at you from over his geared-up shoulder as you picked up the pace a bit to match him.
“mhm! we are.” you grinned. “i’m surprised you know! i thought most football players didn’t really care much about their cheerleaders.”
“they usually don’t…” he gave you an apologetic smile. “i just doze off a lot during practice and notice you guys dancing out on the field sometimes.”
you laughed at that, nodding in understanding and realizing that the picture frames on the walls were gradually transitioning from the football players to the cheerleaders instead, their own trophies and awards glimmering and bright in their glass casings as you made your way through.
“how long have you been on the team?” you asked him.
“not too long! this is my second year in.” he replied, rounding a corner with you and your eyes catching view of the girls locker rooms up ahead— their cursive titled logo indeed sitting pretty and glamorous overtop the main doors. “we actually just finished with our own training camp and got the official roster.”
“oh how exciting! did you guys get any new players?”
“just a few.” he smiled down at you. “not too many. i’m surprised i didn’t get released or traded off though! hah… lucky me…”
you looked at him bewildered just as soon as you both stopped in front of the locker rooms.
“wait why would—”
“y/n! my baby oh thank god!—”
you recognized the voice to be your best friend as she flung her arms around you and pulled you in for a hug, your eyes instantly brightening and a wave of relief washing over your body as you embraced her back.
“oh my god hiiiii! look look i made it!”
“you did! fantastic job amazing job now let’s go through hazing for the next nine hours.”
you laughed. “yes! oh gimme me a sec—”
turning your attention back up to the football player, you gave him sweet smile and extended a hand.
“thank you so much for helping me!” you beamed. “without you i don’t think i would’ve ever made it here or even found my way out.”
he giggled and nodded once again, his own palm quickly coming out to clasp yours in a warm handshake.
“no worries! i’m glad i was able to.”
“and i’m sure you not getting traded off or released was for a very good reason.” you brought up gently, and he paused. “so take that into account and just do your best! okay?”
he held your gaze for a moment, the cogs in his brain turning briefly until a ginormous shining smile spread across his face then, making him look even kinder and friendlier than before as he vigorously nodded.
“yeah! yeah okay! thank you!” your hands separated. “what’s your name? if— if you don’t mind me asking?”
“y/n! and you?”
“okkotsu! yuta okkotsu.”
“nice to meet you, yuta!” you grinned. “hopefully i’ll see you around? if i don’t get on the chopping block?”
he laughed and flashed you a thumbs up, taking a step to the side before beginning his journey back out to his side of the stadium.
“i’m sure you won’t.” he cheesed. “do your best too!”
and you happily nodded then, the two of you waving each other goodbye as you and your girl friend watched him make his way down the hall until he was out from view, her readjusting the strap of her duffel bag on her shoulder and turning to you.
“who the fuck was that.”
you giggled and linked your arm with hers then, leading her to the entrance.
“a player on the team. i accidentally ran into him and he offered to help me find the locker rooms... he was so nice!”
she hummed, her brow slowly rising and smirking as you stepped through the doors, walking into a bustling busy bright room with handfuls of other girls doing their makeup and hair.
“don’t tell megumiiii.” she dragged, the two of you finding an open spot on a bench. “or he’ll get jelly.”
you amusedly rolled your eyes and the both of you sat, setting your duffel bags down on the ground beside your feet.
“no he won’t it’s not like that—”
“uh— yes he most definitely will the ogre literally sucker punched ino in the face.”
your eyes widened and you sat upright. “oh my god i literally forgot about that—”
“yeah don’t babe or your new football buddy is next—”
“alright girlies huddle up!”
you both tensed and whipped your heads around, your gaze stopping on the very same captain that you’d met at the halloween party— still so gorgeous and put together as her eyes scoured over the lot of you.
“congratulations on making it past the preliminaries and to training camp!” she exclaimed. “that’s such a huge accomplishment and an opportunity not a lot of girls get a chance to experience! so be proud!”
you and your girl friend exchanged quick awkward glances.
because what the hell did you both even do? what were you even doing here?
“we’re gonna start heading into the dance room now with coach yumi and hina, so please finish up and make your way over in the next two minutes okay? you guys can leave your stuff here just remember where you put it—”
chatter filled the jittery air again as everyone began moving their things out of the way or curling their last pieces of hair, excitement yet tension sizzling about in the room as all the girls attempted to prepare for the straight out unexpected, your best friend sending you a wary reassuring smile before bending down to retrieve her water bottle from her bag.
“we’ll be okay.” she reached a hand over and squeezed your upper arm. “if we get sent home we get sent home it's whatever.”
you nodded. “at least we’re dating men from the mlb.”
she cackled and quickly nodded, throwing an arm around your shoulders as the two of you started following the crowd— walking out of the locker rooms and a bit of ways down the hall.
“you’re absolutely right babe! nfl men are butt ugly anyways its straight slim pickings for the rest of these girlies—”
“i’m glad you guys came out!”
you jerked your heads to the side and saw the captain herself, walking alongside you with a polite expression and a set of pompoms in her hands— the glimmering frills a mix of navy blue, gray and white as they shined against the light.
“oh hi!” you greeted kindly. “yes of course! we wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for you, so we can’t thank you enough!”
your girl friend agreed alongside you and she laughed, waving you both off as she cheekily grinned.
she was so undeniably beautiful and friendly that your jaw just about physically hit the floor.
“you guys made me laugh so much at that party i think i peed.” she snorted. “charm and personality are extremely vital for a group like this, since we get a lot of exposure by the media.”
she shook out her pompoms before handing them over to you, you gratefully taking them from her and ogling at the pretty frills, rotating them in your hands.
“coach yumi and hina are looking to break tradition this year on the down low… they wanna see the kind of dynamic the team could create if they had talent come in from other unique ways.”
you all entered the dance room then, shoes squeaking against the reflective hardwood flooring as she paved the way— your eyes taking no time at all to spot yumi and hina themselves sitting in their respective tall director chairs.
“so show them something different okay?” the captain smiled, her reaching out to quickly smooth over both you and your best friend’s bedazzled athletic attire— straightening it out a bit and fixing anything that was out of place. “but still blend in of course! you guys are gorgeous already so you’re good to go.”
you and your best friend laughed, grateful that she was the kindest ever and gave the two of you the time of day— comforting you and showing you the ropes in any way she was allowed to, and doing it so graciously too amongst forty five other tryouts.
“i’ll check in with you guys in a little bit. just let them see what i saw!”
“okay!” your best friend called out. “thank you!”
and the captain nodded with a sparkling smile, spinning on her heel and jogging up to the leadership circle by the coaches.
“what did she see man?” you mumbled, and your girl friend heavily sighed, hanging her head and lightly scuffing her shoes against the flooring.
“two drunk girls.” she muttered. “being stupid—”
“alright rookies!” coach yumi called out. “we’re gonna start running through the numbers in groups of five!”
you swallowed the seeming boulder in your throat as you followed the crowd and huddled over to the side of the dance room, your heart utterly racing a thousand miles a second as you felt your hands start to grow cold— trembling and the evidence showing through the slight shake of your pompoms against the light.
your hands.
looking down, you slowly tucked your pompoms underneath an arm and opened up your hand, digits spreading flat as you used the middle finger of your other hand to softly trace over the skin— delicate and slow and grounding… the action making you focus solely on the silly figures you were doodling on your skin, and not the overwhelming constant yapping of your overprotective mind attempting to already shield you from the gutting feeling of rejection.
it made you focus on megumi… your head substituting your finger with his, flashing the memory of just the two of you in his car— giggling and soft as he traced a little heart over the lines of your palm.
you smiled to yourself then, your nerves gradually dissipating with every drag of looping hearts that you made this time, repeating it over and over until your breathing evened out and you felt okay to look up again.
“ready rookies?!” coach hina called out.
“group one start us off!”
for the next nine hours you and your best friend grinded with the rest of the rookies, as you not only performed and polished the routine they had expected you to come prepared with, but were taught three additional dances that they wanted you to get down and practically nail for the most part by the end of the day, each a different style and rhythm as every choreographer who explained the routines had their own way of teaching that you tried your best to follow, it at times contradicting with the way you learned as you simultaneously attempted to keep up with the fucking ludicrous speed of it all.
depending on the reason and situation, you all individually were complimented, critiqued, scolded, and reprimanded as you went, and by the end of the day— after spending hours dancing and shaking pompoms, sweating your asses off, shimming your hips, and traveling yards across the field to eventually end up doing their signature jump split that you thankfully only fucked up once, the final hour of day one training camp had taken its course, with no one violating criteria too badly that earned them a reason to be sent home and eliminated from making the team.
“i can’t feel my fucking legs.” you breathed out, exhausted as you packed up your things alongside your best friend in the locker rooms, every girl in there sharing the same sentiment of fatigue and literal burn out as they tidied up to go home.
“you know what’s so funny?” she mumbled, attempting to pick up her duffel bag but dragging it weakly across the floor instead. “i never knew i had back problems until today.”
you giggled, zipping up your duffel bag and hoisting it over your shoulder. “oh my god those jump splits were murdering me.”
“don’t let them.” she miserably shook her head. “how else are we gonna let our men hit it from the back if our tailbones are shattered—”
“babe!” your cheeks went pink, head whipping around to see if anyone heard her.
“what?!” she threw her arms out. “girl i’m doing you a favor didn’t you tell me megumi loves doggy?”
you perked up in remembrance. “he does! but he told me his absolute fav is missionary because he can see my face—”
“—aw! wait that’s cute i love that no complaints—”
“right! right!—”
you felt your phone buzz then in the pockets of your duffel bag, you reaching and digging around for a moment— pulling it out then to reveal a flashing picture of you and your boyfriend with your cheeks mushed together and snuggly, your heart leaping as you picked up.
“hi gumi!”
“hi baby.” he spoke over the other line, butterflies in your stomach over the sound of his deep voice that you horrendously missed and hadn’t heard all day. “i just got here… i parked in the same spot as this morning if that’s okay.”
“oh yes! that’s fine gumi thank you.” you kindly replied, both you and your best friend starting to make your way out of the locker rooms and through the labyrinth of a stadium again. “i’m heading over there now we just got dismissed.”
“mkay.” you heard some shuffling on the other line. “i’ll see you soon then—”
your best friend shoved her lips next to the speakers of your phone.
“i heard how much you like missionary megumiiii!” she teased. “reward y/n tonight for her oh so very hard work and get down to business—”
you screamed and jerked your body away from hers, your cheeks growing hot as you held a hand over your mouth, her cackling at your reaction.
“i can never go a day without her big mouth in my ear can i…” he grumbled, his own neck spiking in temperature. “tell her to knock it off—”
“is that my woman?!” a different familiar voice cut in, one you recognized to be yuji’s as you giggled and put your phone on speaker. “i heard her voice! ask her how many football men tried to get her number and to tell them i know how to fight—”
“—get— off me—”
“you should be worried too megumi we’re no longer safe those football men are fiends! man fiends!—”
you both had just made it past the exit of the stadium when you came across your men literally wrestling each other in the parking lot— yuji jumping directly on top of megumi’s back as he tried to snatch the phone from his ear, your boyfriend struggling and jerking under his weight with the most pissed off look you’d seen on him all week, you hovering a hand over your mouth to try and mask your snickers as you watched, hanging up the phone.
“itadori you’re heavy as shit get off—”
yuji scoffed. “no i’m not! i’m as light as a feather thank you very much—”
“you’re heavy.”
“am not!”
“off.”
“just imagine y/n getting buttered up by a football player then what—”
“OFF!—”
“okay! okay—” you chuckled, coming up to megumi and ruffling his spiky hair a little. “easy gumi.”
he looked at you with an expressionless face.
“help.”
and you laughed again, yuji springing off megumi then and nearly toppling him over as soon as he spotted your best friend, walking to her with his arms extended before he yanked her in a tight embrace.
“hey babe!” he cheesed. “missed you! how was your first day?”
“it was good yu!” she grinned, looking up at him with a pinky hue to her cheeks, pulling apart and interlacing her fingers with his. “except i think my back is breaking! but no biggie! this is what it takes to be a cheerleader.”
a brief flash of concern crossed yuji’s face, eyebrows coming to a furrow as he slowly took her duffel bag from her shoulder and swung it over his.
“what— is it… really?” he questioned, looking over her frame for any visible signs of injury. “are you— sure..?—”
“yes yu.” she smiled, whipping her head around to face you. “right babe?”
“yup yup!” you cheekily grinned, giving them a thumbs up as the men eyed you both.
“and what about you.” megumi mumbled, his eyes skeptically scanning your body. “does something hurt?”
“just my legs.” you shrugged, blinking up at him with a sweet smile. “and my feet. and my arms. and my head. and my heart. and my—”
“alright we’re leaving.”
he swiftly took your duffel bag from your shoulder and looped it over himself like nothing, as if it hadn’t weighed literally a thousand fucking pounds to you all day and nearly broke your back out, him taking your hand with no questions asked as you giggled and quickly looked behind you.
“bye you guys!” you waved, yuji and your girl friend happily mirroring you before they turned away as well.
“and you said this was for the next two weeks?” megumi spoke as you walked to his car. “auditions?”
“mhm!” you hummed, though him quick to notice from the corner of his eye how you literally winced with almost every step you took, or how you pulled your lips into a thin line when you helped load your things into his trunk and bent your body a certain way, simmering worry gnawing at the back of his head.
“i don’t know how i feel about you guys having back to back auditions with no rest days…” megumi mumbled, closing the trunk. “you’ll get really tired baby…”
“but don’t you do that gumi?” you raised brow. “with the team?”
he looked at you and pursed his lips.
“so.”
you laughed and grabbed the fabric of his hoodie by the collar, gently bringing him down to press a kiss to his cold cheek, looking at him directly after with a tilt to your head as you smiled.
“i’ll be okay baby don’t worry about me.” you murmured, your tired little eyes doing nothing to help him abide by your request, but instead making it worse as he sighed softly through his nose and slowly straightened up, your hand slipping from his hoodie in the process as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, bringing you in to his chest and resting his cheek against the top of your head.
you could tell your man was thinking, and you felt bad about how much he was concerning himself over you when he should be more focused on things that actually mattered more— like the fact that the world series was fast approaching for him, you not wanting to be an added stressor to the heavy bundle he was already carrying from the team and management.
“what gumi?” you softly asked, snaking your arms around his torso and giving him a squeeze. “i promise i’m okayyy! really! i’m just a tiny bit tired is all nothing more than that… me thinks i just need a sandwich and one specifically from that cafe down the street from my campus—”
“me thinks you’re lying.”
you giggled at his use of your own jargon, shaking your head and propping your chin up on his chest with a grin.
“silly silly man… no more thinking you’re banned from thinking.” you murmured, the feeling of his warm arms around you so cozy and soothing against the cold that it nearly put you to sleep right there, your eyelids beginning to droop as you started to feel the reality of your exhaustion. “i’m okay gumi. swear it.”
you thought about how lucky you were to have a man who fussed and huffed over your wellbeing so much, even going as far as to picking up your own worries and settling them on his back for you, so you could deal with them together, a thing that he absolutely never had to do and shouldn’t… but chose to anyway simply because he’s pure hearted.
his devotion to the things that mattered most to him was always one of your ultimate most favorite traits about him, a fact you could blab on and on about without ever shutting up, and something you deeply admired and found yourself looking for in other people as it had subconsciously set the standard for you for life.
you slid your hands up his chest then and mushed his cheeks together, cutting off his worried silly muttering as you brought his face down and kissed him— slow and soft with the tips of your chilly red noses brushing against each other every time you shifted, megumi’s annoyance flying out the window in seconds as he relaxed into your mouth.
you parted from his lips with a little chuu.
“i can’t thank you enough for worrying about me gumi.” you murmured sweetly. “but i’m a big girl and i promise you i can take a little tussle… okay?”
he huffed softly through his nose, leaning his forehead gently against yours.
regardless of what you asked of him, and regardless of how many times the two of you circled back to this same topic... megumi would continue to worry about you for as long as you wanted him around.
and he knew you could. he knew you had the ability to stand up for yourself and be resilient on your own terms whenever needed without him... but he figured it must’ve been because he was a sick fuck who didn’t know how to ever leave you alone that made it hard for him to let you do just that, for he didn’t particularly like the idea of you not needing him in some aspects to begin with, choosing instead to swallow his pathetic urge to smother and let you have your way with things.
but that was something megumi was taking to the grave.
“mkay.” he spoke lowly, lifting his forehead and pressing a quick peck to yours before pulling away entirely, reaching out to close the trunk of his car. “but tell me if you get overwhelmed please... alright?”
you quickly nodded. “i will!”
the degree of discipline and precision that came with the cheer team was something you didn’t mind in the fucking slightest, because although it was intimidating and demanding and rather harsh at times... it was that exactly that made them so good.
it brought consistency and prestige, it brought opportunities from across the country with other football teams and organizations that many other cheer teams could only ever dream of getting the privilege to have, and it brought notability to each and every girl who managed to actually make the team— their recognition and personality living on in the cheerleading community for years to come.
and you wanted so badly to be a part of something like that... you wanted something of your own to work for and take care of and just be— cool like your megumi was with his team... as his passion and loyalty to baseball inspired you so much and had you itching to follow in his footsteps and show that you could be just like him, the fact pushing you to keep going regardless of your blundering insecurities and mishaps.
you wanted to show him that you could do it... you wanted megumi to be proud of you.
which is exactly why for the two weeks that followed you worked your ass off in auditions to try and accomplish just that, all the way until the very last day of training camp.
you hoped that when the official roster was sent out then, that you were at least fucking home and locked away in your room so you could rightfully bawl your eyes out upon finding out that you didn’t make it.
but what you hadn’t expected... was for emails to be sent out in the middle of the god damn night— snoozing away in the arms of your man as you suddenly stirred by the relentless buzzing of your phone on megumi’s nightstand.
inhaling a quick breath, you groggily lifted your head from the pillow and looked over your shoulder— peeking a drowsy eye open and rubbing away the blurriness with your fist as you tried to adjust your line of sight to the bright light coming from your screen, sleepy confusion written all over your face while you thought of who the hell was texting you at this hour, your perplexion though gradually shifting to worry as you realized that it could possibly be an emergency from your family back home.
you rubbed your eyes some more and rolled over, megumi’s heavy arms slipping from your body in the process as you reached for your phone, fumbling through the darkness for a bit before finally feeling your device and retrieving it, the brightness of your screen making you squint your eyes again as you dumbly tapped away through god knows what, attempting to decipher the mass amount of emails that just got delivered to your inbox.
it took almost no time at all for megumi’s dreamy mind to notice that he couldn’t feel you anymore, his brain slowly waking up as a result as he drowsily began to feel around the sheets for you through closed eyelids, his brows coming to a tiny furrow once he still couldn’t locate you— sluggishly rolling to his back then and dragging an arm over his eyes to rid away some of the sleep.
he let his arm lazily fall and he turned his head to the side, slowly blinking his lids open and gaze searching around through the darkness for a bit until they landed on your back.
oh.
his frame relaxed at the sight of you and he shifted over to his side, closing his eyes again and arms reaching out to snake around your waist, you letting out a little sleepy giggle at the feeling of him repeatedly nudging and pulling you to scooch and come on back.
“m’sorry gumi.” you let his arms bring you in and you moved onto your back, phone still in hand as you softly kissed his cheek in apology before continuing to scroll through emails that still looked like a bunch of gibberish to you. “i didn’t mean to wake you.”
megumi grunted in response, drawing you in closer until his bare chest met your shoulder, planting his face into your hair and deeply sighing.
“s’okay...” he sleepily mumbled. “what’s wrong.”
“nothing baby.” you murmured, running a soothing palm over the arm that was over your tummy. “my phone kept going off and it woke me up... m’trying to read what the hell—”
—congratulations on making the team! we are pleased to offer you a spot on this year’s sweethearts roster for the upcoming nfl season—
you shot up in bed then, megumi’s eyes flying open as he shot up with you and whipped his head in your direction scared out of his mind, worry spiking up his spine over your sudden erratic breathing as he pinched his brows and reached for you.
“jesus! what what—”
“how?! oh my god literally how—”
“y/n—” he gently grabbed your cheeks and made you face him, his gaze searching over your shocked expression and growing even more fucking confused at the drastic change. “you okay? what happened—”
“i feel light headed.” you blurted, heaving. “i’m gonna pass out. or die. or both— no wait i think i'm gonna puke—”
“okay— breathe y/n...” he let go of your cheeks and ran a comforting hand up and down your back, the other settling over your belly as he craned his neck down to your phone on your lap, trying to decipher what the hell you saw that got you like this.
“don’t scare me pretty...” he softly spoke, eyes squinting over the tiny letters on your screen. “talk to me please.”
when his gaze drifted back up to your face and he caught sight of your bottom lip wobbling with shiny teary eyes, he paused.
“y/n?”
“i made the team.”
megumi stilled.
holy shit—
“you made it baby?” a slow big grin spread across his face. “yeah?”
“yeah!” you vigorously nodded, laughing through your tears as you threw your arms around him, his own wrapping around your torso so unbelievably tight and snug that you almost couldn’t even breathe, but you not giving more of a fuck in that moment as he dug his face into the nape of your neck, a breath of relief puffing through his lips as he thanked his lucky stars for letting this happen to you.
“see?” he murmured, placing a gentle palm on the back of your head to rub. “you were more than capable of making it y/n.”
“man i don't know how!” you burst in utter disbelief. “i— i fucked up so many times and i got a strike and then i accidentally ate shit on the field in front of the coaches because i messed up the count they— they saw it on that thingy! the big screen that makes me horny over you at your games—”
he snorted and rolled his eyes, pecking your neck before pulling away to look at you, his hands sliding down to rest comfortably on your hips.
“m’proud of you.” he gave you an endearing little squeeze. “all of that isn't important pretty baby you’re only human... they saw everything else that mattered and you need to be proud of yourself for that.”
you blinked.
“its not luck that got you a spot on the team… it was just you.” megumi leaned and planted a kiss to your forehead. “because you worked hard for it and deserved it.”
oh god you beamed at him then, a swirl of affection filling in your chest at his praise that made you want to jump him and kidnap him and lock him up for no other woman to see—
“except for that stupid strike.” he continued with a mumble, falling back on the bed and snatching you with him by the wrist, you letting out a giggly squeal as you toppled down— megumi's arm sliding underneath your body to pull you closer to his side, your cheek mushing against his warm bare chest.
“if i didn't have you gumi... i don't think i would've been able to do it.” you murmured softly. “or anything for that matter.”
his brows came to a furrow through closed eyelids.
“that’s not true.” he shook his head a little. “you absolutely can you’re capable of—”
“no gumi—” you propped yourself up on an elbow to face him straight on, him peeking an eye open to meet your serious stare with a bit of confusion.
“i don't think you understand how much of a pussy i actually am.” you laughed. “i always feel like... like all i know how to do is talk people’s ears off and be dumb but... since i've met you you’ve always made me feel so special baby...”
his eyes softened.
how the fuck could you not see how much you’ve changed his life? or submit yourself under a category so far from the definition of what special was?
you were everything and more to him.
“i had honestly already made peace with the fact that i was more than likely not making it because i truthfully just— didn’t know what the hell i was doing.”
you scooched yourself up a bit to level with megumi, staring down at him with the kindest smile.
“but you were just too sweet to me gumi. every day when you packed my things and made me breakfast... i couldn’t help but force myself and just try it even if i was the biggest airhead in there. you gave me the courage to do it.”
you brushed through his spiky bangs, fingers trailing down to tenderly caress his pink cheek as your promise ring glistened in the moonlight.
“i wanted you to be proud of me and see me the way i see you... so thank you.”
if it was possible for megumi to implode and die from where he lay before coming back to life to smother you up, he would’ve done it the second those precious shy words left your lips, with you looking at him like that and the way you were being so soft with him... showering him in appreciation that he knew he didn’t deserve any of.
and he found himself thanking his lucky stars once more that he actually ended up being useful to you.
expressionless, he raised an index finger and gently pushed your forehead.
“brat.”
you giggled.
“what i do now?—”
“i see the world of you.”
you faltered as he used the same finger to then slowly trace down the outline of your pretty nose, his rough skin feeling over the shape before stopping at the tip.
“and i love you more than anything.” he whispered. “please be nicer to yourself.”
every time you expressed that you or others felt you talked too much, or that you thought you weren’t capable of doing great things when you absolutely fucking could and have been, made megumi want to claw his skin off and yell at everything in your life that convinced you of that nonsensical bullshit every single time it came up, like now. again.
he hoped he would never cross paths with your stupid ex boyfriend.
“please.” he whispered again, his tone and face so pleading that it made your heart ache. “for me.”
and you damn near melted into puddy against him, nodding your head as you pressed wet smacking kisses to his cheek again and again.
“awwww gumiiii!” you cooed. “yes! i'll do it i'll do it from now on i don't talk enough i'm merely a silent little mouse who needs to open her mouth more for not just talking but sucking on your fat yummy di—”
megumi's hand shot out and squished your cheeks together, cutting you off.
“please no baby i'm gonna end up fucking you until seven in the morning if you keep talking like that.”
you gasped.
“the fuck? what— why wouldn’t i want that? that's a brilliant idea and me thinks we should get naked now—”
you bolted onto his lap to straddle him, him quick to catch you by the torso with an amused smile— proceeding to then wrestle each other through the darkness whilst megumi laughed and snickered at every failing sneaky attempt you made to surpass his strength, holding on tightly to your struggling wrists as your giggles filled his room so lovingly, that he couldn’t help the way his enamored brain short circuited and accidentally let his grip slip as a result.
taking the obvious opportunity, you snatched your wrists away and lunged for the hem of his loose t-shirt, pulling up just enough to reveal his god given pelvic v-line before he engulfed you entirely by the arms and snagged you down to his chest, his mouth to your ear as you wiggled in his strong hold and tried to break your own arms free from his literal entrapment.
what is megumi’s team feeding these men?—
“me thinks you don’t know what you're asking for.” megumi mumbled, his breath misty and warm against your ear as you stilled. “me thinks i'll have you stuffed up just like this ‘till morning... fucking you without a break if you keep this up rubbing your little lips all over my dick.”
heat rose to your face and you bit down on the inside of your cheek, his vulgar words doing everything but getting you to do what he wanted you to do, instead shooting straight to your clit and causing you to squirm and lamely attempt to tighten your thighs around him a little to ease the pulse.
“b—but gumi...” your tiny voice trembled as you spoke, forehead falling on his shoulder. “you haven’t— we haven’t— done anything in a while...”
you felt ridiculous for sounding so whiny and pathetically desperate, but it was true... any attempt that you had previously made ever since starting auditions was like megumi had sworn celibacy for some reason, gently diverting your advances with soft rejections and promises to make it up to you.
but the truth was that megumi felt like he was being burned alive with every time he told your pretty face and pleading eyes a big fat lying no.
he wanted you to stay focused and perform your absolute best at training camp and school, refusing to add to the layers of exhaustion you already had by pounding you into his mattress and sending you off to auditions with sore thighs and bite mark littered skin, his restraint literally painful and him feeling unbelievably guilty whenever you hopefully asked for it.
because dear god how he wanted you... how he missed the feeling of you wrapped around him...
but he wanted you to properly rest.
he tightened his hold around you and screwed his eyes shut, nose burying further into the strands of your silky hair as he swallowed and tried not to let how sweet and needy you sounded get to his head.
“i know baby...” he muttered. “but not tonight alright... i want you to sleep please you’ve barely gotten any these past few weeks.”
you grumbled and sat up, his arms slipping from around you as you did so.
“gumi i'm fine i sweaarrr!” you whined, palms flat on his chest. “sleep is for the weak anyways and i'm not a bitch so—”
he snorted, a small smile playing at his lips as he raised a hand and tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, fingers trailing down after to gently grab your chin.
“sleep.” he pushed pointedly. “we’re going to sleep.”
you huffed and crossed your arms, accepting defeat and sliding off to plop down flat on the bed next to him, megumi trying to ignore the familiar guilt pitting in his chest again as he immediately reached out and pulled you back into him.
“okay gumi.” you spoke softly, your tone evidently laced in disappointment even though you knew damn well his reasoning did hold some truth to it, exhaustion beginning to creep up your bones as you basked in megumi’s warmth.
“if anything i bet the coaches will give us a small break...” you murmured tiredly, eyelids slowly drooping. “so hopefully i do catch up a little on sleep...”
except they didn’t.
you had found out the following morning that your best friend had also thankfully made the cut, the two of you over the freaking moon and utterly shocked at how in the living hell you managed to pull it off and stupidly make it on the cheer team despite everything that you did wrong, screaming and hyperventilating to each other over the phone as your respective men once again sat back dumbfounded and blinking at your incoherent rapid blubbering.
though your gushes and coos over at last getting to wear your rightfully earned uniforms without the haunting thought of getting booted, or how excitingly eventful your lives would be like now was short lived with the way the coaches sent out mass emails about scheduling and upcoming events not even an hour after the official roster dropped, the biggest of course being the football team’s homecoming game that was coming up just around the corner.
yumi and hina only gave you guys two fucking days to recuperate from the borderline tiresome slaughter they put you through during training camp before they called all the girls back, and you grew increasingly more worried once it finally decided to settle and sink in your little brain about how you’d have to find a way to juggle your classes, your homework, and studying on top of the team's already demanding responsibilities...
but as odd and daunting as it was, you found yourself eager to figure it out instead of being put off by how intimidating or impossible it seemed. you were eager to make something more of who you were besides the ordinary academic aspect that’d been a part of your life for as long as you could remember.
you were eager to continue making your man proud.
and cutely, no one was silently more excited about your homecoming game performance than megumi was.
he was undoubtedly looking forward to seeing you out there.
he was looking forward to seeing you happy.
“do you think it’s worth it if i buy the two piece combo? or the three? or what if i just get nachos—”
readjusting his black shades, megumi deeply sighed through his nose and leaned his weight on one side, eyes scanning the concession stand against his will to see what yuji was spending literally thirty fucking minutes on trying to decide what to eat for the game, them surrounded by the clattering noise of the football stadium— the arena rowdy and a bit more rambunctious than what he had initially expected or was used to, seeing as his experience relied solely on what only baseball crowds were like.
“well what do you want...” he mumbled, growing increasingly more agitated and fidgety at the possibility of him missing your pregame performance because he was freaking stuck here, the wrapper of the pinky bouquet he got for you crinkling under his arm as he shifted.
“hmmm...” yuji pursed his lips to the side in thought, setting his hands on his hips as his greedy little eyes scoured over the menu. “the two piece combo comes with a hot dog... maybe i should get that!”
“so get it.” megumi spat, anxiously tapping his foot and looking over his shoulder to catch a fast glimpse of the field behind him, confirming that nothing was going on yet before turning his attention back to the concession stand. “and hurry up—”
“actually— i think i'm feeling popcorn instead i might get gassy from the hot dog and i don’t wanna miss anything—”
“so then get popcorn—”
“fuck but my girl loves nachos if i get that i can save her some for after the game and she’ll thank me with a little kiss—”
“itadori.” megumi checked his watch. “hurry the hell—”
“actually maybe i won’t get anything it looks like the team gets enough money as it is megumi i mean— did you see the statue they had out front? my god it makes us look broke as hell—”
“get the two piece combo and the nachos and the popcorn and let’s go.” megumi snapped through gritted teeth. “they’re dancing in ten minutes dude and we still don’t even know where the fucking vip section is—”
yuji gasped. “oh fushiguro you’re a god damn genius i forgot i had free will for a second— hi! yes can i get the—”
megumi turned his back and walked a few steps away from the stand for the sake of not losing it where he stood, his jaw locked at yuji’s zero sense of urgency as his gaze looked over the large field from down below— a few football players already out on the sidelines performing warmups or doing small practice kicks with a ball.
he was sporting the darkest shades he owned to avoid being recognized and keep this day purely about you and only you to the best of his ability, afraid and heavily disliking the possibility of him getting so bombarded by paparazzi, that it’d prevent him from watching your performance and missing it.
he'd been dying to see you all dolled up and dancing...
“gumi gums what the hell are you doing still standing here and not where you’re supposed to be—”
megumi snapped his head to the source and gawked.
gojo.
“you’re here?” his eyes trailed down and widened at the black compression shirt he was wearing with your literal face on it, his dad’s arms stuffed full of piles of snacks and merchandise from your cheer team.
“how— what the fuck are you doing here and where the fuck did you get that shirt—”
“oh this old thing?!” satoru wildly grinned, wiggling his brows as he turned his flexed body to and fro to show it off. “why i got it custom made just for this grandiose occasion my son! you really think i'd miss my sweet future daughter in laws debut? after she herself invited me? you silly silly grumpy boy—”
you had not told him that.
megumi raised his unoccupied hand and rubbed his temple, irritated at satoru.
“you’re gonna creep her out gojo take it off.”
“absolutely not.” he turned his head to the side in defiance and pursed his lips like a little fish. “the only thing i'm doing is showing my undying support for her that she adores because unlike your team, her team actually loves me and doesn’t ban me for common human mistakes—”
“yet.”
“megs— if you’re jealous of me having a shirt with your wife on it just say that. i can order another one for you. so stop pouting.” satoru tsked with a raised wagging index finger, spinning around on his heel then and moving ahead. “haven’t i taught you sharing is caring? also where’s your boy yuji? both of your ladies put me next to you guys i was wondering why the seats were still empty when i got there—”
“satoru!”
a flash of pink zipped through megumi’s line of sight before he caught yuji flinging himself at gojo in an embrace, scattered pieces of popcorn flying through the air and dispersing all over the floor as the two men funnily gushed and raved, a boastful rich laugh slipping through satoru’s open mouth while megumi tensed, his jaw setting at the quizzical stares he noticed they were all getting by anyone who passed.
they were attracting so much fucking attention and running the risk of getting recognized—
“aw my second son hellooo!” gojo flashed him a sparkling smile, shuffling around some of the merchandise he bought to free his arm, swinging it over yuji’s shoulders with a pat to the head. “how are you holding up hm? still good? you nervous?”
“no yeah i— i'm good!” yuji weakly grinned, gulping as satoru released him. “for now... until— until i have to... oh god!”
megumi rolled his eyes and stepped forward, hooking an arm through yuji’s and dragging him away as he moved.
“you’ll be fine now can we go.” he mumbled. “we’re lucky enough as it is that no one’s recognized your screaming—”
“and now... ladies and gentlemen, here they are!”
megumi froze in place.
“your sweetheart’s of the season!—”
the spiky haired boy whipped his head around in desperation, locking eyes with his dad.
“satoru please!” he yelled over the rumbling roars of the crowd. “please take us to the vip section—”
“often imitated... never duplicated!—”
yuji raked his fingers through his hair in a panic.
“oh my god no oh my god my wife—”
“HOLY FUCK GO!” gojo zoomed past the both of them, nearly knocking each over. “GO MY KIDS COME THIS WAY!—”
the three men booked it through the mass of unruly whistling fans, the warm stuffy air whipping through megumi’s hair and clothes as he held your bouquet tight to his chest, pushing and squeezing through people just to keep up with satoru’s ludicrous speed and praying that nothing was happening yet, that you were just walking out on the field and settling into your formation, that you weren’t actively searching for him now where you told him to be seated, that you weren’t— sad to notice and see that he wasn’t fucking there yet.
his eyes switched to the massive screen in the middle of the stadium as they all barreled down the steps to get to the very bottom, gaze dead locked on your cheer team’s introduction promotional video, playing loudly throughout the arena’s speakers and showcasing each of the cheerleaders in their own little spotlight— sparkling uniforms that bedazzled against the lighting, swaying and rustling their pompom’s with smiles on their faces, your gorgeous smiling face popping up amidst the different scenes that made megumi’s grumpy heart swell up in his chest.
the feeling was brief though as it plummeted once the screen switched to your team in real time, already in your corresponding formations and commencing the pregame performance.
“the pride of the nfl...”
“i see them i see them they're right there!” yuji sputtered, pointing up ahead just as they reached the bottom to security, all of them fumbling around for their identification cards and tickets to get through to the vip section, megumi digging in his pockets as his head shot up in the direction yuji was signaling at to spot you.
“your very own... heartline cheerleaders!”
the crowd fucking thundered into a fit of roars and claps just as the men got the clear and stumbled in, satoru quickly leading them to their seats and barely dropping their shit down before spinning back around, satoru and yuji hooting and hollering the loudest megumi thought he’d ever heard in his life... and yet hardly noticing at all— pushing his dark shades up to rest over his head and get a better look at you.
you were unbelievably pretty to him.
dancing underneath the stadium hues, a series of moves that he didn’t expect at all from a cheerleading team as you shimmied in time to the music, the smile on your face so— brilliant and utterly impossible for him to miss even if he tried, you energetically changing formations when needed and following the pace of the group without so much as a trip or stumble.
and megumi thought then how utterly silly you were for ever thinking you wouldn’t be a good fit for the team, when it looked like you were right where you were supposed to be all this time.
you and your snug uniform that twinkled with every turn you made, the rustling of your frilly pompoms that followed each pump and rotation of your arms, the cheeky little beaming smile you sent his way once you fleetingly realized he was there... it was all supposed to happen.
him with you. watching you do what you loved.
he could stand there for hours so long as it was for you.
“megumi look it look it she's shaking her little hips!” satoru practically squealed, tossing a heavy arm over his shoulders to yank him into his side. “take a picture! quick! this is a moment in history oh my god i bet you’re feeling rabid right now and in beastly heat—”
“god please shut up.”
“what?!” satoru scoffed. “there is no shame in feeling a little freaky for your woman while she’s performing my son! accept your primal lovesick instinct—”
heat shot up megumi’s cheeks and he squirmed. “what the hell are you on about get off me—”
satoru fought through his writhing and brought him in even further, wringing his mouth uncomfortably close to his ear.
“i want three grandkids...” gojo whispered. “so get busy you little brat—”
megumi choked and shoved him away, his dad doubling over in a fit of snickers as he tipped his head back and laughed. “i'm kidding megs i'm kidding!”
“you’re disgusting man quit it—”
“i want five grandkids—”
“STOP!—”
throughout the game you mostly spent it on the sidelines closest to megumi, the corners of his lips quirked up into a small smile as he calmly watched you and your group do short dance routines each time the football team scored, you blowing him a fast cute kiss or a pretty grin any chance you could before you were pulled again to do another number, him sending you a little wave in return as he recorded you on his phone.
and to his surprise, halfway through the game you were given a shoutout while performing one of your many other routines, the massive jumbotron illuminated with a close up of you dancing in real time, your name in chunky pink cursive with the title of ‘sideline sweetheart’ as you smiled and gleamed, megumi’s chest fuzzy with a mix of surprise and pride at your achievement while the stadium announcer acknowledged you.
but what he also unmistakably noticed throughout your time on the field... was a certain football player who kept coming up to talk to you.
tall, lanky, with scruffy jet black hair and the darkest eyebags under his eyes that he’d ever seen on anyone.
at first he simply chose to brush it off, deeming it as you naturally being a social butterfly and you were just making friends... which is a good thing.
it's good.
but then he just— kept coming back up to you.
making you laugh. pulling you to the sideline refreshment station so he could keep talking to you. patting you on the shoulder.
since when were you friends with a football player?
he thought that wasn't allowed...
megumi was disappointed in himself that something so simple and innocent as that, bothered him as much as it did, for you were absolutely more than allowed to make and have friends no matter what or who they were.
but the last time he told himself that, ino nearly kissed you in some random fucking hallway at a party.
the man was over it.
he knew how weird men could be when it came to getting what they wanted... and he knew how sweet and forgiving you were... and satoru’s endless annoying teasing about how you were already being targeted by another man wasn’t helping him in the freaking slightest.
though soon enough after what felt like forever, you switched off with a different group of girls and were finally given a break, megumi standing from his seat to walk up and lean over the metal railing the second he noticed you jogging up to him, resting his elbows on the ledge.
“hi guumiii!” you gushed excitedly from down below, him chuckling under his breath as he watched you happily wave at him.
“hi pretty baby.” he leaned over a little more. “i like your uniform.”
“yeah?” you grinned, taking a few steps back to cutely spin in place and show him, your white shiny cowboy boots on you and the way your tits looked so snug and puffed up in your top doing embarrassing numbers on him.
“isn’t it so cute? i never thought i'd ever get to actually wear the real thing and not one my best friend and i tried to knock off the internet.”
megumi laughed and beckoned you closer with a nudge of his head, you listening and skipping up to him.
“can i give you something?” he pushed himself off a bit from the railing. “or should i wait until you’re dismissed?”
you tilted your head in confusion.
“n— no i can take it baby but what do you m—”
your entire body slumped as soon as you saw him reach behind and grab the biggest most prettiest bouquet of flowers ever, holding it out over the railing for you to take.
they were tulips.
“holy shit— gumi are you serious?” you asked in bashful astonishment, your cheeks quickly bubbling pink as you reached up and carefully took the bouquet from him, your awestruck eyes roaming over the lovely soft petals with a jutted bottom lip.
“thank you so much baby i—” you could barely even form a sentence from how much you were swooning over him and the beautiful tulips, your fingers gently grazing over the shiny baby pink wrapping as it gently glowed for you, head snapping up then to look at him.
“you absolutely did not have to get me anything gumi i— i swear just you being here is more than enough for me...”
your sincere worried little eyes tugged at his heart strings as you spoke on, and he immediately shook his head side to side, your kind selfless mind never once allowing you to just accept everything he gave you without you anxiously fretting over it that he didn't have to, no matter how many times he touched bases about it with you.
because he absolutely did. and he blamed your bum fucking ex-boyfriend for putting that idea into your head.
“do you like them.” he murmured, and you frantically nodded.
“i love them!” a dazzling smile stretched across your lips, one he’d been waiting for since he bought them for you. “you’re always so sweet to me gumi... thank you.”
he nodded with a rising blush to his cheeks at your compliment, expressionless as he reached down and softly cupped underneath your chin, gently lifting your face to look at him.
“you work hard baby. and you deserve it.” his hand shook your head the tiniest bit in tender emphasis. “you shouldn’t keep forgetting something like that.”
you bit your bottom lip and smiled even bigger, unable to contain the string of giggles that escaped from your throat at his lovely praise, your ears guzzling down everything that he had to say as you clutched your tulips closer to your chest, the paper crunching underneath your grip as you did so.
your boyfriend never failed at making you feel so special... and you cherished it so incredibly much.
“why didn’t you tell me about you being sideline sweetheart.” he spoke up softly, the move of him letting your face go and settling his sunglasses back over his eyes causing your legs tremble. “s’good baby.”
the name was quite fitting for someone like you.
“no i know gumi! but i wanted to surprise youuu.” you grinned. “did it work? it was hard keeping my big mouth shut for weeks oh my...”
“mhm.” he gave you a warm tiny closed lipped smile. “you were very pretty from the jumbotron.”
your heart skipped a beat.
“you think so..?” you tilted your head to the side and peered up at him, him watching as your hair softly fell over the sides of your face in the process. “because i’ll have you know that i'm sweating in between my tits right now sir...”
he huffed out a low laugh, though the jump your words gave to his dick was pitifully concerning for him as this was the absolute worst time and place for him to get hard.
“cool down a little baby... are you able to come up here with me for a bit? i wanna get you something from the concession stand.”
you pouted at his kind offer, solemnly shaking your head no and wishing with everything you had that you could.
“i so would gumi but i'm not allowed.” you reached up and tenderly took his hand in yours, thumb caressing over his skin. “i have to stay out on the field or else yumi and hina will bite my head off... but right when the game is over come find me in the locker rooms okay? it should be soon anyways our team is freaking losing—”
“y/nnnnn!” a loud cooing voice echoed in the air then, yuji and satoru leaping through the row with their arms yet again stuffed full of food and even more merchandise from your team, the sight making you burst out laughing with a shimmering fond gleam in your eyes, everyone else in the vip section staring in utter perplexity at the odd scene before them.
“oh my sweetheart!” satoru funnily sniffled, dropping all of his shit down on his seat before spinning back around. “my sideline sweetheart i should say! papa gojo is oh so very proud of you i cannot even begin to express how much i want to pay the entirety of your college tuition.”
you gasped. “satoru no! we've talked about this silly man thank you so much but i—”
“and why not?!” he threw his arms out in exasperated emphasis. “that shit’s like chum money to me and while your cutie patootie sweetness drops mr. megumi to his knees, i happen to have some self control now let me pay it—”
“do you?” megumi grumbled, his gaze distastefully roaming over the piles of random merchandise his dad just purchased and locking on a particular booklet, pointing.
“what is that.” he squinted his eyes and leaned over for a better look. “since when do you even read.”
“the cheer team’s calendar.”
megumi blinked.
“the fuck you need a calendar for?”
satoru smirked.
“i got that for you my emo son... y/n is featured on page eight and there’s a bikini section i saw in the table of contents—”
megumi's eyes blew out of their fucking sockets and he snatched the calendar from the messy pile, tucking it under his arm.
“gimme that.” he mumbled, diverting his gaze away.
“ehh? not so mad at me now are you hmm?” satoru dragged with wiggling brows, the whole ordeal throwing you into an endless fit of giggles that damn near made your stomach burst by how much it had started to ache, you carefully touching the corners of your eyes as you attempted to settle down, yet their bickering and your fucking face on satoru’s shirt was making it nearly impossible to.
“what? the calendar?” yuji spoke through a mouthful of popcorn, seemingly just tuning in before his eyes widened and his head snapped in your direction.
“ohymygod—” he swallowed. “my girl’s bikini feature? jesus christ y/n you have no idea how hard i tried not to cum in my pants back at the merch store—”
“HAAHH!—” you cackled, slapping a hand over your mouth as you doubled over in laughter again. “i can't— i can’t blame you yuji her boobies looked so nice in every picture didn’t they?!”
“every single fucking one.” he wildly grinned, walking up to the railing and leaning forward, his upper body extending so far out that you worried he’d accidentally tumble over. “how dare you not send me a leak i thought we were best friends for life.”
you giggled. “we are! but we wanted to keep everything a surprise until today.”
your eyes flickered back over to megumi, you nearly snorting at the sight of him subtly trying to look through the calendar before yuji spoke up again.
“hey uh... how much time do you have left on your break?” yuji asked, your attention diverting back to him.
“i still have about a good twenty minutes i think?” you kindly smiled. “how come?”
he pulled himself upright from the railing, his face weirdly pale now. “is— is it okay if i pull you to the side for a little bit? i wanted to talk to you about something.”
your brows pinched a little, concern swimming through your head at his strange request, since yuji never really asked to seriously talk to you about— well anything.
the last time you remembered him doing this, was when he and your best friend gave you a talk about how much megumi was off limits back when you were first crushing on him... and even then it was with your girl friend. never alone.
you quickly nodded, anxiety starting to prickle at your skin as you nudged your head off to the side.
“yes of course! come we can talk inside the tunnel.”
he gave a stiff nod and started making his way out of the section to meet you, you briefly looking over your shoulder.
“i’ll be back gumi!” you called out, him lifting his head up from the calendar at your voice.
and just when you expected him to at least look a little puzzled and question where you were going with yuji... he didn’t. instead sending you off with a small smile and singular wave.
you pursed your lips, turning back around and proceeding to lead yuji over to the tunnel, deep in your thoughts until you reached your destination.
“you okay?” you asked softly, uneasy eyes studying over yuji’s sick appearance and tense body language as he leaned up against the wall, arms crossing over his chest.
“yeah! yeah i'm okay.” he weakly smiled, and you frowned.
“yuji what’s wrong.” you pressed a little firmer, stepping closer. “you look so scared i don’t think i've ever seen you like this.”
his breathing was unsteady as it flowed through his nostrils, him slowly shaking his head side to side— a close-lipped smile growing on his face as he looked directly at you.
“i’m gonna ask her to marry me.”
...
“what?”
holy shit.
a hand slapped over your mouth and you let out a breath of disbelief, your eyes already blurring over as you tried your hardest to blink and clear your vision.
holy fucking shit—
“yuji are you serious..?” you whispered, a muffled hiccup escaping you, the fat tears you attempted to keep at bay rolling over your cheeks regardless. “please tell me you’re serious—”
“i am!” he chuckled boyishly, pushing himself off the wall then to wrap you in a warm hug. “don’t cry y/n...”
“s— sorry i’m so— hic!— i'm sorry—”
you couldn't even talk, your strained trembling whispers making yuji’s chest ache as he pouted and plopped his chin over the top of your head, laughing softly and rubbing a comforting hand up and down your back.
“i’ve been planning it for a few months now.” he gently explained. “i have the ring and everything... i wanna do it after the world series game.”
you sobbed even harder.
that was next week.
“i love her a whole lot... you know better than anybody else that i do. i actually wanted to marry her the night we met but that's not very socially acceptable is it?”
through yuji’s chuckling you pulled back, laughing yourself as you tried your best to wipe your tears away, sniffling and looking up at him with a wobbling smile.
“apparently.” you sniffed, mumbling lowly. “would’ve been fine with me.”
and he grinned, planting a hand on your head and giving it a little rub.
“i don’t doubt it.” he murmured. “i owe her giving me a chance in the first place to you... and i know more than anyone else how much she absolutely cares about you and adores you as her best friend.”
he let his arm fall back over his side.
“so thank you for letting me have her.”
a new flood of tears washed over you then and you sobbed, yuji laughing out loud at your reaction and wrapping you up again in an embrace, this time tighter, swaying you side to side as he stood there not saying anything else, knowing that news like this was something extremely pivotal and dealt best with a comforting silence that allowed you to ride the wave and process.
“i’ve been— i've been dreaming and wishing f—for you guys to get married for so loongg!” you wailed, your cries muffled into his chest.
nearly five fucking years you had spent wishing on stars for it, because you knew more than anyone else just how much your best friend and yuji unconditionally loved one another.
from the moment they met under the neon rays of that random party with yuji adorably stumbling over his words, to spontaneously making it official without brake checking first simply because the feeling of it was so right for them… it was so agonizingly obvious to you that they were meant to find each other, to fall in love, to be happy together, to grow old together. and your best friend deserved every bit of that blissful life with someone who treasured her just as deeply as you did.
“if we win or lose the world series i really don’t give a fuck.” he spoke up. “because regardless i'm gonna get down on one knee and ask her. that's all i care about.”
you nodded against him and pulled away, shakily wiping away the last of your tears.
“i’ll help out if you need it okay?” you emphasized. “whatever it is if— if you need me to get her to a specific spot or— kidnap her or anything i will do it no fucks given.”
his shoulders dropped in relief. “thank god because i was running into a pickle with megumi about the planning and he just kept abusing me.”
your jaw hung and you giggled.
“no he didn’t!—”
“did you tell her already.”
your eyes quickly diverted to the familiar lovely sound of your boyfriend’s voice, and somehow the sight of him standing there at the tunnel entrance made you fucking sob all over again.
“oh guummiii!” you dramatically wailed, flinging yourself on him and wrapping your arms around his neck, him quick to catch you and bring you in tight with a chuckle.
“you— you knew?!”
he softly smiled down at you.
“i did.” he murmured, letting the side of his warm cheek fall against yours. “n’gojo knows too.”
you hiccupped and cried and whined into his arms then, the abundance of pure love and bittersweetness hitting you in all unfathomable types of degrees as your brain struggled to accept that this was real, that your best friend was in fact soon to be a bride in the next coming week and your lives would be permanently altered.
but for the way better.
PART TWO
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{olympic figure skater!satoru gojo x olympic figure skater f!reader}
summary: you and satoru have known each other since childhood, two little birds navigating through life together as you shared one dream in common— to win gold at the olympics, you both a figure skating pair as you moved and performed and fell in love as the years went by, both balancing off a trembling tight rope and holding on to keep each other in place, a silent agreement that if you indulged and fell into the depths of the truth of what you were, you’d run the risk of losing your careers and each other, yours and satoru’s biggest fears. but you’re growing, and it’s getting harder to hold back… especially for satoru— that trembling tight rope on the verge of snapping in two.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, childhood best friends to lovers trope, cursing, DIABOLICAL ANGST BUT WITH HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!, mentions of death and loss, mentions of injury and blood, FLUUUFFF, satoru loves loves loves you, SMUUUTT, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it y’all), creampie, pussy eating, dom satoru, pussy drunk satoru, DIRTY TALK, pet names, figure skating, the olympics, true love <3
word count: 22.3k (I KNOW PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE PLEASE—)
authors note: YYYOOOUUU GUUUYYSSS THIS ONE IS MY BABBBYYY AND IM CRYING NOW WRITING THIS LMFAOAOAO. i hope you all love it seriously i GLADLY worked day and night writing this and i’d do it all over again just to see y’all happy :) THANK YOU for your support it is UNREAL, and like always, I LOOVEEE YOUUU MWAAHHH <333
you first met satoru when you were six at the skating rink.
he was only a year older than you, both of your mothers coincidentally signing you up for the same youth ice skating lessons for beginners, meeting and chatting it up seeing as you and satoru were the youngest in age out of the rest of the parents there and their children, you both automatically put together by your coach and separated from the older kids to do warm ups.
and even though the age difference was only a year, satoru at first treated you like a little helpless tiny thing who needed assistance in everything— the cute pink ribbons in your hair doing you an injustice and further implementing the image of a little girl who had no clue of what was going on around her, thinking you were cutesy and he was determined to be your little knight in shining armor when the time came.
until he saw you skate.
what satoru didn’t know, was that you were a prodigy— related to one of the most famous ice skaters in olympic ice skating history, akira, as her talent was blessedly passed down to you through your fruitful system and the lucky processes of genetics— chosen as you barely even had to be taught, you catching everything right away by the coach without any sort of slip and fall… unlike satoru who was clumsily struggling to even glide through the ice without wobbling.
and little satoru was astonished by you and your talent, his first impression of you drastically changing by the end of the first lesson as he shakily slid across the ice over to where you were, patiently doing little turns on the ice while you waited for your mother to finish up talking to another lady (it was satoru’s mother).
“hi!” he had greeted you, a huge goofy smile on his face as you slowed down and looked at him, returning a shy smile of your own.
“hi.”
“i’m satoru!” he extended a hand, eyes shooting wide as he suddenly lost his balance and slipped forward, on the brink of face planting on the ice as his hands quickly flailed out and gripped the edge of the rink to save himself.
you giggled, tiny hands reaching and holding his arm steady as he tried to regain his balance.
“are you okay?” your shy voice asked, and he grinned through his wobbling.
“yeah! i’m okay! don’t worry!”
but he still couldn’t stabilize himself.
“maybe we should sit on the bench?” you suggested sweetly. “so you don’t fall…”
“okay!”
you gripped him as hard as you could (which really wasn’t a lot for a six year old) and slowly moved with him on the ice, supporting him until you were both out of the rink and seated on the bleachers.
“what’s your name?” he chirped, his hands clutching on the edge of the bench as he leaned forward and looked at you kindly, legs swinging.
“y—y/n.”
“nice!” he cheesed, looking at you. “i saw you skate. you’re really good!”
“t—thank you.” you mumbled, shy and alarmed that a boy was talking to you.
“when did you start skating?”
you looked at him confusedly. “um.. today?”
his eyes bulged.
“hah?! today?!”
you jumped at his outburst, cheeks pink as you quickly nodded.
“wowww!…” he gushed with stars in his eyes. “that’s great! i saw you doing turns and things. i can barely move on the ice… it’s slippery.”
“well—” you peeked up at him shyly. “my—my aunt taught me some stuff… but not a lot.”
“you have someone in your family that skates?” he asked excitedly with huge blue eyes. “how cool! hopefully i can catch up to you and at least move…”
“that’s okay...” you smiled. “i know you will.”
“really?!” he gushed again before leaning back, nodding his head cutely. “if you think so, then i know so!”
and you giggled at him, your timid wall slowly crumbling down at his bubbly and kind personality as he was a chatterbox and talked to you about anything that had to do with olympic ice skating— him knowing so much about it and nearly screaming his head off and panicking when he found out that your aunt was none other than akira, now knowing exactly why you were so good at skating in the first place.
satoru looked up to you. so much so that it was comical— seeking your approval over the following years during lessons and not even listening to the damn coach himself as he listened more to you, wanting you to teach him how to do bunny hops or backward crossovers and giving a big fat attitude to anyone else who tried to coach him, whining and snoring away until you and your little bows skated over to him to teach him.
and because of that you spent a lot of time with satoru in and out of lessons, even more than you ever spent with your own friends at school as you clung to him at all times— him cheering and encouraging you on when you were shy in certain situations, and you teaching him everything you could about skating and bringing him little bags of strawberry gummy puffs since he had the biggest sweet tooth you had ever seen, you both cemented and stubbornly attached to the hip with neither wanting to let go.
and when your mother’s planned a little playdate at the local outdoor ice skating rink on a chilly december day— an enormous christmas tree sitting tall and glorious by the rink with twinkling star-shaped fairy lights and jingle bells surrounding the plaza, you and satoru spinning each other around and dancing and giggling over the murmur of classic christmas songs, they saw the potential… an idea sparking in their heads amongst their cooing and picture taking.
you and satoru were both originally put into the ice skating world to train and be independent professional skaters, olympic athletes to be more specific when the time came.
but that concept quickly changed the second you met.
now— you and satoru were an olympic ice skating pair, the subject materializing when your mother’s pulled you out from those simple ice skating lessons (you both already way past getting the basics down since your skill combined with you teaching satoru had you both surpassing the class) and paying for a professional couples figure skating coach to get you guys started now and early.
and the both of you were over the moon, especially satoru, as he absolutely adored you and begged his mother literally every fucking day if he could go over to your house or over to the ice skating rink with you to dance, you doing the same and the two of you crying and wailing on the floor whenever times wouldn’t work out and plans fell through, your mother’s having to give in and drag you to each other’s houses so you would both stop crying.
when akira found out you were officially figure skating, she nearly drove into the side of a building speeding over to your house from being out of the country for so long competing.
“is it true?!” she burst through the doors, your mother rolling her eyes after being startled half to death over her bizarre behavior. “is my little niece gonna be a figure skater like me?!”
you gasped excitedly upon seeing her, getting up from your spot on the rug and running over to akira’s open arms, leaving your coloring book and crayons behind as she swung you around.
“she started when she was six you know that…” your mother grumbled, folding various kitchen towels.
“but you just told me now that she’s not independent!” akira countered, setting you down and holding you out at arms length, eyes wide and eager. “—but partner figure skating! like me!”
she shook you. “where is he?! your partner! is he here? is he your age? is he nice?”
you perked up and looked over to the kitchen. “oh mommy! satoru should come and meet—”
“his name is satoru? oh my goodness how cuteeee!” she cooed, pinching your cheeks. “is he handsome? do you like him? do you have a crush on him—”
your little cheeks blazed as your mother threw a kitchen towel at her.
“she’s eight aki! jesus christ.”
“love has no limits.” akira wiggled a finger, and you giggled.
your mother called satoru’s place soon after, his mother excitedly conversing over the other line about how the akira was finally back in town and how satoru was gonna lose his mind once he saw her— you knowing he was the biggest fan and sometimes told you facts during lessons that you didn’t even know about your own aunt.
and when they finally did arrive, satoru was stiff— frozen in place with tight arms at his sides by the living room as his alarmed big blue eyes looked at akira with a sickly pale face, you snickering behind him.
“hi satoru!” akira greeted, leaning down with her hands on her knees to look at him at eye level. “it’s nice to meet you! y/n tells me you like my skating?”
“u—uhuh.” he responded dumbly, and you slapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing, knowing satoru would cry and whine about it later if he heard you.
“that’s great! i’m happy you skate too… and with my niece i should say!” she spoke kindly, ruffling his snowy colored hair up and standing upright, placing her hands on her hips and looking like a straight freaking superhero in satoru’s eyes. “you wanna compete in the olympics?”
“uh huh.”
a laughing breath hurled from your throat and your cheeks puffed up like a squirrel, clasped hands still over your mouth and face going red from how hard you were trying to keep it in.
“that’s what i like to hear.” she smiled, a shiny impressive one as satoru still stood there in a stuck daze.
“work hard okay? the both of you. so you can catch up to me someday, yeah?”
your hands slowly fell from your mouth then, eyes filled with admiration and determination as you both eagerly nodded, looking at each other hopefully.
“you think—” satoru stammered, looking at akira. “you think we can… win three gold medals like you?”
“oh absolutely!” she shrugged. “i don’t doubt it at all.”
you and satoru gushed, glittering little eyes as you stared up cutely at akira, her giving you both a silly grin.
“how long have they been doing partner work?” she asked your mother suddenly, watching the way you and satoru chattered then excitedly about the actual possibility of competing for the olympics someday.
“mmm, i wanna say for about a year and a half? maybe two?” she looked over at satoru’s mother, who nodded in agreement. “they’re with a couple’s figure skating coach right now.”
akira hummed and shifted her gaze back down between the two of you.
“i’m training them from now on.”
both mothers froze, eyes wide as they stared at her.
you and satoru hadn’t even realized what she said, still caught up in your little bubble of the olympics and metals and competitions until your mother caught your attention.
“did you hear?”
you shook your head. “hear what!”
“akira wants to coach you and satoru.”
his jaw dropped and he nearly passed out on the floor, you quickly grabbing his shoulders as he reeled over.
“are— are you sure?” your mother continued, looking at her sister now. “aren’t you busy? i thought you were only here for the weekend.”
she waved her off. “i need a break from skating for a little… at least until the next olympics.”
akira turned to you then and smiled warmly. “and i wanna coach my little niece and her new buddy! if that’s okay?”
“yesyesyesyes!—”
both you and satoru bounced up and down and cheered, arms up as you tackled and hung off of akira like a jungle gym, her laughing and smiling big at your enthusiasm.
akira was the most important figure in your life, right next to satoru as she became a mother figure to the both of you as well as your mentor.
and training with her was not easy— your age not an excuse at all whatsoever in her eyes to not learn proper figure skating moves and technique, saying it would only serve you right in the end if you started adapting your bodies to it now rather than later.
and like most things, akira was right. but even though practices were grueling and tough to the point where you had to drag satoru across the ice to get up, she always tried to make them fun in the end— cracking jokes and teaching you guys silly little tricks that you could do with each other on the ice that she figured out over her years of skating with her partner, taking you both out for ice cream frequently after and telling you of her travels competing around the world, the people she’d met, and the titles she’d won— all things that were you and satoru’s ultimate dream as you listened eagerly.
by the time you were twelve and satoru was thirteen, it was obvious you guys were meant to be olympic athletes together.
“you need to pick your leg a little further up on the spin, toru.”
he stuck his tongue out. “says who.”
“says me.” you poked his cheek. “and i’m pretty sure aki told you before she left too.”
“yes ma’am!” he nodded, gliding a bit further away from you on the ice before picking his momentum up and reaching you, him bending his knees and wrapping his arms around your torso as you both went into fast spins, one leg extended for the both of you as your arms gripped over his shoulders— practicing the routine akira had given you for your upcoming competition.
“yeah like that!” you smiled, spins gradually slowing down and satoru coming back up from his bend until you both stood still on the ice. “good job toru!”
he grinned and ruffled your hair. “thanks!”
“mhm!” you responded, turning and skating away to the edge of the rink to hide the blush that was rising in your cheeks.
“what?!” he whined. “where are you going? do i stink?”
“no!” you laughed, shaking your head. “just the usual sweat and B.O.”
“aw no!” he quickly skated to the edge of the rink and out before flying for his duffel bag. “i hate being a man i hate puberty this is ridiculous—”
“i’m kidding im kidding!” you called from across the ice, cackling when he stopped and whipped his head over, glaring at you. “you’re fine toru— not stinky.”
“well you’re stinky for putting me in distress how about that?” he huffed, an eventual smile playing at his lips as he put down his duffel bag and went inside the rink again.
akira was currently on her way to compete at the olympics for her fourth gold medal in partner figure skating, you and satoru having no doubt in your minds that she was going to absolutely clear everyone else there and get it, as she’s never gotten silver or bronze or anything lower than that.
“when do we fly to see aki again?” satoru called from across the ice, gliding to and fro in figure eights. “don’t say tomorrow morning because i haven’t started packing yet heh… oops.”
you giggled. “it is tomorrow morning, dummy.”
“no!” he stopped and shoved his hands in his hair. “i haven’t even started planning my outfits! oh i was gonna take so many pictures what am i supposed to do now—”
you laughed loudly and skated back over to him, hands wrung behind your back as you looked at him cheekily. “you’re silly toru. outfits for what? literally just show up.”
“it’s not everyday we leave the country y/n!” he whined. “i wanted to sport my best and look cool, dang it.”
you playfully rolled your eyes and lifted your hand, patting his head.
“i’ll show up in pajamas and you show up in yours, and we’ll call it a day. hm?”
he grinned.
“matching? or seperate? and what color? plaid?”
“toru!”
he laughed and skated past you, nudging your shoulder with his in the process. “i’m just messing with youuu, matching obviously!”
satoru came back around, reached up and straightened the ribbons in your hair, little white bows sitting pretty as a blush rose to his cheeks when he was done.
“wanna run it three more times and call it?” he suggested. “i wanna make sure i get what you told me down before we go.”
you smiled and quickly nodded, taking satoru’s extended hand and skating together to first position.
watching akira win gold in person for the first time in your life was an experience you’ll never forget.
and she did it fucking beautifully.
with every precise move, with every articulate angle you and satoru screamed and yelled like crazy people in front of the rink while waving around your countries tiny flags, cheering with fat tears rolling down your faces when she successfully landed each time, holding each other so tight with mushed up cheeks throughout her routine with her partner and still in anxiousness when the time came for revealing final scores.
no one could skate like her. absolutely no one as she speedily glided across the ice and spun, prepped herself for the hardest most impressive turns you had ever seen in your life, and performed a quadruple axel rotation in the air all on her own— things that have always earned her the highest scores for three successive olympic years.
and four now— because when akira and her partner stepped up on that podium, you and satoru had to basically be yanked back by your mothers with the way you both tried to jump over the edge of the rink to her, her standing there like a beacon of light on the first place podium, a gold medal hung rightfully around her neck with flowers in her arms as she smiled so so big and happily, her eyes not once leaving you and satoru.
eventually when the ceremony was over, amongst all of the buzz and the crowd roaring and picture taking— akira quickly skated over to the two of you and leaned on the edge of the rink.
“akiiii!” you both wailed and flung your arms around her neck, her giggling and hugging you both back as best as she possibly could despite the mass amount of bouquets in her hands.
“did i do okay?!” she yelled over the noise.
you both pulled back and looked at her like she was insane.
“did you do okay?!” you gawked.
“aki— you won a fucking gold medal!” satoru yelled.
“HAH!” she laughed loudly. “don’t say that word in front of your mommy satoru she’ll chop my head off and kill me!”
you both giggled uncontrollably.
akira leaned her head in then and you and satoru followed through, all three foreheads resting against each others.
“listen to me for a second.“ she started. “you guys are birds of a feather, okay? you need to stick together and fly together as one.”
she let you both go and dropped the bouquets she was holding on the icy floor before placing a hand on yours and satoru’s outer cheeks, bringing you in. “don’t fight. don’t separate. don’t leave each other. you need to keep each other and what you have safe.”
you both quickly nodded, tears funnily gathering at the corners of your eyes at what she was saying, and she smiled.
“yes partner figure skating is about chemistry and technicality, but it’s about love… and sometimes just that. without genuine love, nothing will click.” she let your cheeks go and grabbed her shiny gold medal, holding it up. “this will be yours. i promise you.”
akira put down her medal, wiping both yours and satoru’s wet cheeks. “birds of a feather. stick together. keep each other safe. do you understand?”
the two of you sniffled and nodded.
“and i need to stop cussing in front of you guys during practices, don’t i?!” she smiled warmly, and you and satoru shook your heads frantically.
“no keep doing it!—”
“it’s funny please!—”
ever since akira told you that, it became you and satoru’s thing.
before and after every competition, with every hello and every goodbye at the beginning and end of the day, throughout the hours randomly whenever you both felt like it, you’d lock pinkies and reiterate ‘birds of a feather’ before kissing your thumbs and locking your promise in place— another one of the many other ways you’d show that you loved each other.
but whether it was platonically or romantically remained unknown until you both hit high school.
perhaps it had always been romantically… that you weren’t exactly sure of. but the way you and satoru had been treating each other since you were literally the age of six, made the technicalities of what it was blurry and a little confusing— for you couldn’t even remember when it was that you started loving satoru.
maybe it was that very first day when he skated over to you, wobbly and clumsy with a cheesy smile.
and as if it wasn’t already confusing enough of what the two of you were, the way you acted made it ten times worse.
but you’d been that way since forever— embracing each other a little longer than you should, innocently kissing each others cheeks and heads and hands, calling each other pet names and being each other’s dates to every single school dance—
but it was all harmless. not a single bad thought behind it and doing it like a reflex.
it was like you both were line balancing across the thinnest tight rope known to mankind— flimsy and unsteady, always on the verge of toppling over and falling completely into the darkening depths of the truth of what you were, but catching each other just before you did to regain balance back on the rope.
neither of you said it, but if you and satoru ever dared to be anything more than friends, and if something were to happen where you had to break up— you’d lose your first love, your best friend, and your entire career all in one.
the consequences were too drastic— you both knew that.
and you didn’t want to break your promise… so you acted blind to it.
by the time you were seventeen and satoru was eighteen, akira started training you for the international skating union competition to earn a spot for the olympics.
well— she actually started when you were about fourteen, but as the years progressed, her coaching and critiques got increasingly more difficult and nitpicky as well as the moves she taught you, wanting you both to build endurance to it and perfect it so that by the time you reached the age requirement for the olympics— it would be easier to train for it and be formidable competitors against the other pairs.
you and satoru wanted to be olympians more than anything else in your lives, and akira knew just how important this was for the both of you— making it her absolute mission to help accomplish solely that as she saw herself through the two of you.
your dreams were just like hers, and she respected and nurtured the fact with everything that she had.
“up! aaand up! and take her— throw— land oh shit—”
just as you had landed a semi complex throw jump, you lost balance and landed right on your ass, sliding across the ice on your side.
it was rare when you fell, and you absolutely despised when you did.
“fuck!” satoru quickly skated over to you and knelt down. “are you okay?!”
“why can’t i land that man?” you whined, covering your eyes.
akira smoothly traveled over to you both.
“it’s okay! we just learned it today sweets like— right now… you’ll have it down in the next five minutes.” satoru smiled softly, carefully helping you up on your skates and checking you over.
“don’t overly punish yourself, y/n.” akira reached and pinched your cheek. “i love that you’ve always been so serious about your technique, but you have to leave room for error my love or else you’ll choke yourself out.”
satoru ran a soothing hand along your back and you smiled cutely up at him, his heart jittering so much from it that he had to quickly retract his arm.
you nodded, always taking satoru’s and akira’s words seriously like inscriptions to a stone wall. “okay!”
he grinned and kissed the side of your head before taking your hand and leading you to first position like always.
akira smirked.
“are you guys together yet!” she blurted from across the ice and you both choked as she skated over.
“are we— are we—” you stammered.
“what?” she breathed out, placing her hands on her hips. “are you at least in love?”
satoru’s blue eyes bulged open with a furious pink tint to both of your cheeks.
“aki!” you whined, embarrassed. “stop it—”
“have you guys at least gone on one date?”
satoru pouted. “no.”
“i’m—” you played with your fingers. “i’m going on one today—”
“you’re what?!” he whipped his head in your direction, eyebrows furrowed.
“yeah…” you looked at him. “i’ve never gone on one and some guy at school asked me so i— i just thought—”
you thought it’d do you some good, since the one you wanted you couldn’t really have.
“are you actually..?” satoru trailed off, an unfamiliar strike of something in his chest making him a little upset.
but he knew damn well what it was.
“but—” akira stared at you wide eyed, pointing at satoru. “but it’s— it’s supposed to be—”
“aki!” satoru quickly grabbed her arm and lowered it, eyes snapping to you next. “is it that one guy you told me about? from your english class?”
“uh huh.” you fidgeted. “he asked me again and i felt bad saying no so i— said yes…”
satoru swallowed, nodding.
“oh you big dummies!” akira groaned. “we’ll talk about this later or else i’m gonna go into fucking cardiac arrest from frustration—”
she skated off to the edge of the rink and out, leaning on it from the outside with her head dramatically hung.
you both got into starting position, but you faltered when you noticed satoru was oddly quiet and stiff.
“…toru?”
he blinked down at you. “huh?”
“you okay?”
“oh!— yeah.” he smiled weakly. “i’m fine baby.”
“you sure—”
“what time is your date?”
you gnawed at the inside of your cheek. “it’s a bit after this... i told him to just give me time to shower and get ready.”
“if he can’t accept you stinky then he’s not for you.” he shook his head in distaste. “he’s already failing in my eyes sweets absolutely flunking. maybe you should cancel it? yeah i say cancel it—”
you laughed, heart in your throat as your eyes gleamed up at him. “i can barely accept you stinky so i wouldn’t blame him—”
“hey!” he placed an exaggerated hand on his chest. “it’s not my fault i literally put my heart and soul out on the ice just for you to skate all over me—”
you gasped offendedly. “i don’t skate all over you—”
“do too!”
“do not!”
“do to—”
“you guys!” akira called. “you know i love it when you guys love on each other it makes me so happy and envision your wedding but right now we have to grind!”
you both froze up and snapped your heads in her direction with red faces, whining.
“aakkiii!—”
you practiced what you had of the routine a couple of more times, a few new moves and jumps added after each run until akira called it a day upon noticing you and satoru were practically sweating your asses off and messing up several times out of exhaustion.
“good job today you guys!” she smiled, patting you both on your shoulders. “i feel like the next time we meet we’ll have the choreography down... from there we just need to perfect it and you should be good for the next competish, okay?”
you both nodded and thanked her, sweet smiles on your faces as she reached up and pinched a side of both your cheeks.
“my little babies.” she cooed. “oh how you’ve grown! you guys were so little when we started now satoru is huge man jesus christ—”
she lifted her hand and reached up to measure satoru’s height from his forehead, her passing it over the top of her head and eyes widening at the huge gap.
he laughed and puffed up his chest. “i got big and strong too aki see?” he flexed an arm. “see? eh?”
“that you did!” she laughed brightly, ruffling up his hair. “the strongest.”
you giggled and skated over to the edge of the rink to pack up, internally panicking a little that you guys went overtime and it was almost time for your date.
“satoru..” akira whispered, looking over her shoulder to make sure you weren’t listening. “what’s going on? you still haven’t asked her out? i thought you said you were gonna do it.”
“no..” he mumbled. “but we can’t. and she knows that too so— so what am i supposed to do—”
she gawked. “do you not see what’s happening?! she’s gonna go on a date with someone else! off with this stupid fear you guys have already seriously.”
“we caan’tt aki.” he pushed sadly. “it’s too risky.”
“but it’s not though!” she threw her arms out. “you guys have known each other since practically birth i feel like if it wasn’t meant to be you would’ve separated by now!”
satoru gnawed at his bottom lip in thought, eyes trained to the way your bows moved in your hair as you swung your duffel bag over yourself, smiling softly once he realized you had kindly packed his things for him too as you sat on the bench and waited for him to take you home.
akira sighed.
“it’s not my place to tell you guys what to do… but love has no limits. you know that.”
he nodded, smiling weakly at her as they skated out of the rink and prepared to lock up, akira hugging you both goodbye with a family kiss to your cheeks and you separating ways with her for the day, but not before her reminding you guys of practice tomorrow and that she loved you over her shoulder.
satoru was dreading you going on your date as he drove— the both of you normally talking about random things like always but his mind unable to stray from the fact that you were actually giving some random dingbat a chance.
it was rare when either of you would talk to or date other people, never even as your heads have always been so focused on figure skating and competitions… but also on each other— taking care and loving one another that you never needed anybody else since you were everything to satoru and satoru to you, and you were both confident that absolutely no one could ever step up to that level.
so why were you going on a date?
but he shouldn’t be like this. he knew that. there was a silent agreement between the two of you to never fall off that thin tight rope and keep each other balanced. and you were allowed to see and date whoever you wanted— something that he probably should do as well to try and get over the fact that you’d never really be his.
satoru pulled up to your driveway and shifted his gear into park.
“thank you toru!” you smiled sweetly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“you’re welcome.” he murmured. “can i— can i come in with you? and hang while you get ready?”
you quirked a brow. “i thought that’s what we were already doing silly.”
“okay well invite me woman!” you both got out of the car and walked up the steps to your front door. “you can’t just assume. what if i was busy? what if i also had a date? hm?”
you gave him a sly grin as you twisted in your keys to unlock the door. “do you?”
“… no.”
you giggled and pushed open the door, the both of you immediately clasping your hands over your mouths to keep your laughs in at the sight of your mother sprawled out on the couch dead asleep with drool coming out of her mouth, the tv softly playing in the background as you quietly shut the door, went up the stairs and into your room.
satoru sat on your desk chair lazily while you quickly hopped in the shower to get ready for your stupid date, staring at the framed photographs on your nightstand that all consisted of you and him over the years, smiling softly at his favorite— a picture of the two of you when you were babies, cheek to cheek with huge smiles at the park as you held ice cream cones in each of your hands, satoru more than sure akira was the one who took that picture.
the sound of your door clicking shut pulled him from his thoughts as you walked in, drying your pretty hair with your little fuzzy towel and throwing it in the hamper once you were done.
“oh! i was gonna show you! i got these ribbons the other day—” you got down on your knees and looked under your bed, sticking a hand in and pulling out a white box as you picked it up and shuffled with your knees closer to satoru— sitting back on your ankles.
“—i was running out of ribbon so i got these!” you held up the box and satoru took it, examining the various pastel colors with warm eyes. “some of them are polka dotted and i thought that was cute.”
“it is sweets!” he agreed.
satoru loved the ribbons in your hair, and you’d always wear them without fail because you knew just how much he did.
“i wanna start wearing bows too.” he wiggled his eyebrows, and you giggled.
“are you saying you wanna steal my brand toru?” you picked up a blue roll of ribbon from the box, a color that matched satoru’s eyes. “thought you were an honest man?”
he gasped. “i am an honest man! is it not obvious enough when i help you with your math homework? when i sacrifice my dignity and text you answers during your tests?”
you giggled and unrolled a strand of ribbon. “not when you eat all of my sweets that you actively dig through my room for—”
“but they’re always the strawberry gummy puffs!” he whined. “they make me a slut.”
you playfully rolled your eyes and stood, grabbing your little scissors and snipping off a piece of blue ribbon from the roll, stepping in front of satoru and leaning.
“watcha doing?” he asked, placing his hands on your waist.
“i’m putting a little bow in your hair before i leave!”
he hummed. “don’t think it’ll look as good on me as they do on you.”
you blushed, taking little pieces of white hair from the top of his head and wrapping the ribbon around, tying it the same way you’ve been doing for yourself since you were the age of nine.
you took a step back once you were finished and laughed. “you look cute toru!”
he raised a silly brow. “do i still look big and strong?”
“big and strong and pretty—”
“please don’t go.”
you stilled.
“what?”
satoru looked down, his bangs hiding his gorgeous eyes as he did.
“on your date.” he mumbled. “don’t go.”
you placed your hands softly on his shoulders, and his hold tightened a little around your waist.
“why?”
“because like i said if he doesn’t accept you stinky then he can’t have you when you smell like vanilla—”
“toru...” you spoke sternly, softly. “why not?”
you didn’t know why you were pushing it so much… maybe you were trying to see if you could get it out of him— if he had the will to actually say it unlike you…
and you hoped to god he would say it.
he slowly lifted his head and propped his chin up on your tummy, a sour expression on his face as he puckered his lips to the side like a little fish.
“dunno…” he muttered, his gaze flickering to yours and a sense of guilt swarming his chest at the uneasy look you had, his face relaxing as he sighed.
“sorry.” he smiled sheepishly, pulling back and letting go of your waist. “i’m kidding you have every right to—”
“m’not going.” you mumbled as you slid your hands away, looking down and playing with your fingers.
“huh?” he furrowed his brows. “no baby go you should go—”
“i don’t want to.”
you never did in the first place. you had foolishly thought that letting someone else in like this would be good for you and help you establish some sort of… barrier with satoru so you weren’t always suffering so fucking much.
but you were absolutely stupid for that.
all you’ve ever wanted was satoru, and doing something to pull you away from the type of relationship you had with him (whether platonic or romantic you had no freaking clue), was not only hurting you, but hurting him.
you didn’t need anyone else, truly. all you needed was satoru and his silly smile and dramatic antics— to spend time with just him and skate and eat dinner together after practices every night while watching horror movies, laughing so much over his screams that your stomach hurt while he whined about how you were making fun of him.
that’s all you needed… just satoru.
regardless if there was something more in question.
“you don’t want to?” he repeated softly. “why?”
“you know why, toru…”
you had said it so softly he barely caught it, but he did, his breath hitching in his throat.
that was the closest you two had ever gotten to acknowledging it.
you both were silent for a moment, the soft murmur of your tv downstairs filling the void as you looked at each other, tense and waiting for either of you to say something… anything.
but it was like the gravity of the foreseeable consequences settled onto your shoulders, and the pair of you could only sadly smile.
satoru stuck his pinky finger out towards you then.
“birds of a feather?” he murmured.
you breathed out a little through your nose and looped your pinky with his, nodding.
“birds of a feather.”
he kissed his thumb and you did the same before locking the promise.
for the rest of the night, you and satoru watched a bunch of shitty unknown movies to try and see who would break and laugh first— you feeling bad that you had to cancel so last minute on that guy from your english class, but not regretting it at all as you watched satoru scarf down two slices of pizza in one sitting and nearly throw up, you almost falling off the bed from laughing so much and him having to catch you midway down and pull you back up, saying that he was your hero and therefore you should give him your last stash of strawberry gummy puffs as a reward.
it was nearly two am when you and satoru finally settled down, both sprawled over each other on the bed as you stared up at the ceiling and talked about literally anything that came to your minds— stubbornly fighting off sleep for whatever unknown reason in the dark.
“you know this is aki’s last olympics right?” you spoke softly, your arm propped up as you watched the way satoru played with your fingers.
“yeah..” he replied. “i don’t really know how to feel about that.”
“me neither.” you shook your head. “but she said it came at a perfect time because she’d been wanting to retire for a while.”
and now it was yours and satoru’s turn to try and fill the legacy she had built.
he hummed, delicately interlacing your fingers together as the outline of it through the darkness made you blush and smile, the nooks between his digits blessedly made entirely just for you as your fingers slotted perfectly in each spot every time.
and satoru silently vowed for the millionth time in his life that he would always be your hero and keep you safe, a promise that was already tied into your birds of a feather contract, but needing to repeat it to himself anyways while he listened to the sound of your voice talk about your excitement for the upcoming olympics.
and my god were you excited, the both of you— looking forward to seeing akira gracefully take home her fifth fucking gold medal like she always did with no repercussions, seeing her fans and the mass amounts of support she got every year with bouquets and teddy bears and picture taking, but also looking forward to spending even more time with her— for not just practices… but for forever, even more than you already did now as you two were greedy and just loved akira.
you were looking forward to forever, the three of you.
until akira’s accident.
“oh my god i’m gonna throw up—”
satoru hurled over just as you both stepped onto the bleachers at the olympic arena, you laughing and placing supporting hands on his shoulders as you followed your mother and satoru’s to your designated place by the front.
“toru i told you you’d make yourself sick if you didn’t leave that damn dessert table alone.”
“there were cinnamon rolls baby. cinnamon rolls how on earth could i possibly just walk by a platter of cinnamon rolls—”
“okay!” you giggled, carefully leading him to sit down and ruffling his hair once you settled. “i get it! you love cinnamon rolls.”
“not as much as i love you—”
“yuck!” you stuck your tongue out and pushed him away by his cheek, him laughing loudly as he shooed your arm away and grinned.
“toru— this is the last time we’re gonna be sitting here in the bleachers watching aki.” you mentioned. “isn’t that fucking nuts?”
“now i’m gonna cry and throw up.”
“no!” you giggled and nudged his shoulder. “then you’ll make me cry.”
he smiled and leaned over to plant a quick kiss to your cheek, reaching up and fixing the bows in your hair before looking straight ahead, his sparkling blue eyes staring at the rink.
the crowd roared suddenly and a mix of big and tiny flags of several individual countries waved in the air as you and satoru jumped and screamed when akira glided out with her skates and glittery dress, a huge dazzling smile on her face as she waved at the crowd, her eyes scanning around quickly before they finally landed on you and satoru.
as if she wasn’t already smiling enough, it grew bigger at the sight of you both practically over the fucking rink calling her name, her blowing you both a kiss and connecting her hands together to form a little bird, fluttering it up funnily and making you laugh before spinning around and going to starting position with her partner.
“oh she’s gonna wipe again.” satoru breathed out. “wipe absolute buttcheeks.”
you cackled as you both watched her routine— incredibly fast paced and technical, filled with spins and throw jumps and lifts as she made it known that it was her last year and wanted to leave with a mark, you and satoru absolutely mesmerized by the choreography as a dramatic symphony of a classical piece drummed through your ears by the speakers.
each move was executed beautifully, you and satoru at the edge of your damn seats as akira’s partner lifted her by the arms to settle over his shoulders into a split formation— halfway through the routine already.
“maybe we could do a move like that for when we compete!” you suggested over the music. “i feel like technically it could—”
a hand flew over your mouth as you watched akira topple and slam to the ground upon coming down from her split lift, the spinning blade of her partner slicing through her abdomen as her head nastily collided with the ice— the crowd screaming in terror.
“oh my god!—” your chest moved frantically and you and satoru looked at each other, horrified faces as you watched the backside of her limp body on the ground surrounded by paramedics, her partner hovering over her in complete and absolute distress.
and there was so much blood.
blood that pooled all around her figure and stained her shimmering dress, blood that wouldn’t stop fucking spreading as a stretcher finally made it out on the ice.
“baby.” satoru’s voice shook. “why isn’t aki moving.”
“i— i don’t know—”
“aki!”
you both snapped out of your shocked daze and screamed over the rink and jumped, shoes slipping against the ice as the two of you tried to reach her through your panicked tears and calls, security speeding through and pulling you both back as you watched the paramedics lift her frail body onto the stretcher and away from the rink.
“that’s—” you sucked in a sharp sob. “that’s my aunt please let us go—”
“you need to stay out of the rink—”
“fuck you!”
satoru shoved security away and grabbed your arm, wishing you had your skates on as you both practically crawled over to where akira was being carried out, not giving a single shit about the way your mothers yelling demanded you back as security had to literally pull you and satoru by the ankles, further and further away from the scene and away from akira until the only thing left was her pool of sickly crimson blood in front of you, you and satoru wailing.
akira died at the hospital later that night.
the collision of her head against the ice brought such blunt force trauma that it caused irreversible brain damage, and with the amount of blood that she was already losing from the laceration of the blade— those elements combined didn’t give her a single fighting chance at survival, her fate sealed from the moment her body hit the ground.
it was completely unexpected… an incident like that had never happened in not just olympic partner figure skating, but figure skating competitions as a whole— the severity of the situation so grave that the complex move akira and her partner performed that led to her death was banned from the olympics moving forward.
and you and satoru were fucking ruined.
ruined and crying and clutching over her arms and hands at her hospital bedside, it scaringly cold and stiff and not her usual warmth at all as you couldn’t accept that this was your reality, that akira had left you both all alone after not only her initial familial love that you’d gotten since birth, but after nearly a decade of giggles and skating, her picking you both up from school and cussing up a storm because it made you and satoru laugh as kids, buying you ice cream and taking you out for beach days because she said the sun was good for your skin, harassing you and taking a million pictures of the two of you as she uttered over and over again that love had no limits— your dream of forever with her cruelly severed over the sport you all loved most.
yours and satoru’s mentor, friend, your fucking mother figure— was gone.
your aunt was gone. your own blood.
the entirety of that bullshit situation sort of settled into your minds by the time her funeral came— painfully holding back tears as your family members gave their speeches and final wishes before the lowering of her casket, you and satoru not saying a single word throughout the entire thing until it was just you and him standing in front of her grave site— your mothers waiting for you in their cars.
you both chose not to give speeches. you couldn’t.
“toru.” you sniffled, drowning in your tears as satoru strained to keep his back, lips pulled into a thin line.
“yes pretty.”
“this is so fucked.”
satoru breathed out a weak laugh and let a couple of tears slip down his cheeks, wiping them with the sleeve of his black suit as he grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, squeezing it.
“diabolically fucked.” he responded.
there really wasn’t much you could say at that moment in time, the two of you staring at the carvings on her tombstone as the wind softly blew over the petals of her flowers and letters, the day cloudy and cold and just fucked as you silently choked back sobs and whimpers, satoru lamely trying his best to stay strong for you— be your hero as he pulled you into his chest and squeezed you with everything that he had, nose buried in your hair as his tears fell and dampened a few strands.
“birds of a feather, toru.” you spoke softly, both of your frames shaking as the saying itself came from none other than akira.
he firmly nodded, lifting his head and kissing your cheek twice hard before looking at you.
“birds of a feather sweets.” his red teary eyes made your heart ache. “you can’t leave me too, okay?”
you scoffed and wiped your eyes, a sad smile on your face. “i could never… you know that.”
it didn’t really get easier from there, as everything in your lives reminded you of akira.
and though your mother was grieving the loss of her sister, she wanted to be left alone, and the only person that really understood the level of mourning you were on was satoru— him always there in the blink of an eye when you would call him in the middle of the night crying your eyes out while he held you, or when broken sobs wrecked through satoru’s trembling body as he cried into your chest while you held him and vice versa, endless amounts of ‘i miss her’s’ and ‘bring her back’s’ as you took turns depending on the day rolling on the floor unable to physically breathe over the loss as you tried to anchor each other back to normalcy, wondering how the world could be so cruel and continue spinning when you’d just lost half of your hearts.
but it did. it continued to spin and turn and carry on as you and satoru day by day tried to patch over what happened, be there for each other and heal each other as you graduated high school and caught up with satoru in college, still together and still in your stupid limbo of ‘is there something more’ except worse, and still inseparable three years later after akira’s passing.
it didn’t hurt any less, but the days definitely got easier… some harder than others as the time you spent with her became cherished distant memories, feeling eternally grateful for the way she raised and took care of you, for the work she had done, and for the legacy she had built for figure skating olympians around the world.
and because akira was so good and taught you both just as so, satoru and you had a little name of your own as you’ve been sweeping competitions since the age of thirteen, ninety eight percent unbeatable and competitive as other pairs always knew who you were the minute you stepped onto the ice, eager and curious to see if you would make it into the olympics when the time came just like your mentor had done.
some deemed it cheating— unfair due to the fact that you had a four-time gold medalist olympian training you since childhood, but that assumption quickly diminished after her passing when you both continued to wipe competitions and take trophies home purely based on your talent.
and you both agreed to continue your careers without a coach, a decision that didn’t even need to be thought twice over— and you were twenty and satoru twenty one when the time drew near to try for the olympics.
finally.
“my legs are gonna fall off and my balls are gonna droop to the icy floor if you don’t give me a kiss right now.”
“toru!” you giggled loudly, pushing his face away as he puckered up his lips and made obnoxious kissy noises, pulling you in by the waist. “toru focus we’re on a time crunch—”
“time crunch where?” he whined, stomping his blade down on the ice. “we’ve been at it for so long already i’m cold i’m thirsty and i think we should go to that cute christmas festival patch thing you told me aboouuttt!”
“right now?” you asked. “i don’t know toru… i had a set goal for us tonight and if we don’t get it—”
“oh you damn perfectionist.” he scowled, letting you go and quickly skating to starting position. “fine.”
you gave him a knowing smile and skated over to his dramatic sulking figure, kissing his cheek softly and wringing your arms around his neck, pulling him in.
“let’s run it three more times and then we can go to the festival, okay?”
he jumped up like a little kid, eyes hyper and wild. “really? honestly? truly?”
you nodded, gleaming up at him.
“is this a prank?”
“jesus toru you’re making me think i’m keeping you hostage here with how excited you are—”
“yiiippeeeee!—” he grabbed your upper thighs and lifted you before spinning on the ice, the both of you laughing as he roughly turned until he gradually came to a stop, big goofy smiles on your faces as he did so.
satoru loosened his hold as you slowly slid down against his body, faces close and lovesick as his half lidded eyes looked at you, lips stinging to plant directly over yours after so many years of hopeless pining and avoidance, still refusing to acknowledge the situation, but it glaringly obvious at this point.
“what?” you whispered, your eyes fixed on his lips as your blades touched the ice again.
he softly shook his head, blue eyes greedily drinking in your pretty face as he retracted a hand from your waist and brushed his palm over your hair adoringly, hand raising to cup your cheek gently.
was he about to…?
you swallowed, hands gripping his black t-shirt as you waited… anxious, hoping that he would do what you thought he was about to do.
but satoru squeezed his eyes shut in a grimace and quickly kissed the corner of your mouth before turning his back to you and skating to starting position— leaving you incredibly dumbfounded and disappointed.
satoru’s skin felt like it was on fucking fire as he looked at your stunning doe eyes blinking at him from across the rink, heart pulsing uncontrollably as you slowly skated to him and got into position, neither of you uttering a word about it as you ran the choreography three more times like you had agreed on.
you and satoru have had plenty of moments like that… but lately?
it’s been borderline dangerous with how close you’ve gotten to breaking your unspoken rule.
by the end of practice you and satoru excitedly packed up for the christmas festival, more or less stumbling out of the doors of the rink and locking up before throwing your things in satoru’s car and speeding off to the main plaza, cheesy dorky smiles on your faces as you babbled on about all of the things you were gonna do once you got there.
“the s’mores stand! the s’mores stand!” satoru whipped his head comically back and forth between you and the snowy road. “we have to go there and get five nothing less and maybe more—”
“wait! i wanna get some of that hot chocolate we got last year!” you quickly reached and gripped his shoulder. “the one with the chocolate bits in it! and the whipped cream! and the drizzle—”
“oh fuck yeah how could i forget?” satoru made a turn, the shining glimmering lights of the festival and christmas trees coming into view and riling you both up in pure exhilaration. “i gulped down like four cups of those and then threw up in a bush.”
you laughed loudly and shook your head. “i forgot about thaaaattt! toru you always shove shit in your mouth and throw up we have got to work on that—”
“no we don’t!” he cheesed, reaching over and patting over your hair— the smooth ribbon of your thin bows sliding underneath his palm. “i love sweets even if they hurt me. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. where there is no struggle there is no strength—”
“the only strength i see is a man hunched over puking his guts out.”
“hey!” he pouted, pulling into the lot before parking and turning off the ignition, the both of you hopping out of the car and locking it as you walked towards the main entrance. “and i’ll do it again so what.”
you giggled and interlocked your fingers with satoru’s. “silly silly.”
the festival was lively— huge decorated christmas trees everywhere you went as twinkling fairy lights adorned every corner and direction of the lots premises, several open stands that continuously wafted chocolate and cinnamon and vanilla throughout the entire night that had satoru practically floating through the air following the scent, kids giggling and running around as the soft familiar tunes of christmas music hummed in the background.
“what do you want for christmas, sweets?” satoru asked while chowing down a giant s’more.
“a kiss!” you quipped, giving him a cute silly look as you blew a bit of air over your steaming hot chocolate.
he stopped chewing.
“really?” satoru spoke with his mouthful. “i can literally give that to you right now c’mere—”
“no toru!” your cheeks buzzed a vibrant pink, completely flustered. “you’re supposed to say a big fat no!”
“now why the fuck would i do that...” he grumbled, shoulders slumping from disappointment as he took another big bite of his dessert.
you giggled, looking at him apologetically before standing on your tippy toes and licking a bit of melted chocolate from the corner of his mouth.
and he blinked at you, dumb and still as his cheeks copied the same exact shade as yours.
my god.
you were about to turn him into a freak.
“okay now you have to kiss me.”
“why?!” you laughed. “you had chocolate on your face! i was helping you out.”
“yeah right you little minx.” he scarfed down the last bit of his s’more and threw his little paper tray in the trash can behind him, putting his hands together and shaking off excess crumbs. “that’s actually the most torturous thing you have ever done to me.”
“dramatic!” you exclaimed, laughs escaping you and increasing as you watched satoru’s flustered face pout and glare at you.
you breathed in deeply and settled down, standing up straight as you took a tiny sip of your hot chocolate and smiled. “now i feel bad.”
“you should.”
“can you forgive me?”
“not unless you kiss me.”
“toru!”
“what?!” he pushed. “baby it’s only fair! really! just once and that’s it. a harmless peck nothing more we aren’t doing anything crazier.”
you gnawed at your bottom lip in thought.
technically he was right… it was just one little peck, entirely harmless and cute and wouldn’t have you both falling off of that thin tight rope you guys were still balancing off of.
this would only shake it a little… but then you’d be fine! right?
you were too far gone in the considerations of his proposal as you looked at his absolutely breathtaking blue eyes and face, somehow looking even more angelic as his pinky cold cheeks and nose and scarf covered neck did nothing but make you fall deeper in love with him than you already were.
how someone could look as good as satoru was beyond you.
“just—” you peered up at him. “just one peck okay?”
his eyes widened.
holy shit.
“yes!” he breathed out. “yes yes just one.”
“toru.” you spoke sternly. “i’m serious.”
he frantically nodded, arms already snaking around your waist and bringing you in.
you both couldn’t believe it.
you were about to have your very first kiss.
the two of you leaned in then— softly, timidly, afraid as satoru’s chocolate breath fanned against your nostrils and filled your lungs, lips coming closer and closer until they met in a simple, solid, tiny harmless peck.
satoru felt like his veins were about to pop and explode at the feeling of your delicate soft lips finally on his, the feeling actually fucking unreal as his fingertips went numb and his body tingled all over.
but it quickly became clear that it was not just one harmless peck.
because when it was supposed to be the time for you both to pull away, you and satoru only opened your mouths and kissed deeper— eyelids blissfully closed as your lips smacked so slowly and tenderly, the two of you actively relishing in the moment and just drinking each other’s mouths in as they moved and shifted, deep breaths through your noses as you daze-fully made out with the faint fuzzy sound of jingle bells and christmas music growing increasingly distant.
you tasted so sweet. just like he’d imagined.
but the moment came to and end when you both snapped your eyelids open in realization and released lips, pupils frantic and wide as you searched each other’s eyes for any sign of anger since you both had slipped up and did way more than just a peck.
but there was nothing. obviously there was nothing like that as your shoulders relaxed simultaneously and bashful smiles crossed your faces.
“you taste like chocolate.” he grinned.
you bit your bottom lip in a smile. “so do you.”
“twins.”
“uh huh.”
“i love you.”
you stilled.
you’ve told each other that thousands of times for years, since childhood.
you’ve always said you loved each other and have both known it was laced with those unspoken feelings you had, and you accepted that for as long as you could remember.
but somehow… in someway… it just felt different this time around. profound. more serious.
“i love you.” you responded.
satoru smiled softly and leaned his forehead against yours, basking in each others authentic infatuation for a moment before pulling away.
“can i get another s’more—”
“no!”
satoru ended up getting his second s’more, and you surprisingly ended up partaking in satoru activities and downed three fucking cups of that hot chocolate you loved so much, your tummy full and about to literally burst, but not really giving a shit as you and him were having so much freaking fun— buying little christmas trinkets from the santa shop and building tiny snowmen in the snowy play area filled with a bunch of kids (satoru literally making a tiny dick for one of the snowman and you immediately destroying it and wacking him), even skating in the rink but purely just for enjoyment and not a single thought of what you do professionally crossing your minds.
you stayed there until it was nearly closing time, money absolutely spent from all the things you bought, but your souls happy and warm as you happily walked to the car so satoru could take you home.
on the drive there, you showcased all of the trinkets you both had bought, a particular one catching your eye that you remembered you hadn’t shown satoru yet.
“oh! i got this one—” you dug your hand in the white plastic bag and pulled out a little snow angel, beautiful and glossy as the angels face blushed and smiled. “at the santa shop!”
“it’s cute baby!” he smiled. “for you?”
you shook your head. “i got it for aki. for the next time we visit her.”
his heart softened, nodding.
you and satoru tried your best to visit her grave as often as you possibly could, sometimes nearing four times a week to pay your respects and chat with her for a little while, filling her in a bit on your lives to bring back the feeling of what it was like to just talk to her in any way you could, like you had the fortune of doing once before.
“it kinda looks like her.. doesn’t it?” he questioned, pointing to the figure.
“it does right!” you expressed. “that’s why i got it… it reminded me of her.”
“she’ll love it.” he grinned, gently running the pad of his finger against your cold cheek before turning his attention back to the road.
you and satoru didn’t mention the kiss again as you were funnily still in shock over it, but the butterflies in your stomachs and the sole memory of it did more than enough as you climbed into bed with an already snoring satoru, him sleeping over for the night (when was he not) as you nudged your way under his arm and cuddled yourself in his chest, his slumbered state pulling you in like muscle memory.
you both only had two more practices left before the international skating union competition. once there, you and satoru had to land a spot in the top three chosen by the national olympic committee to earn an official spot in competing for the olympics, a task that was already vigorous and exhausting and nerve wracking, but one you both were more than ready for.
general admittance to competing in the olympics was essentially fourteen years in the making, one that wouldn’t have been possible in the first place if it wasn’t for akira.
“i think we should add a spin to this lasso lift.” you suggested, you and satoru taking a break from running the routine and standing by the bleachers during practice— watching a recently recorded take of your choreography to point out mistakes that flew under your radars.
“a spin?” he asked. “how sweets.”
“so when you lasso me around into the lift—” you rewinded the video and pointed. “since you’re holding me up over your head and we’re balancing with our hands, i say you maybe push me up to kind of like— propel me to do a triple rotation spin back down.”
“and then from there i catch you?”
“yeah!” you nodded. “and we’re traveling across the ice.”
satoru pursed his lips. “that’s kind of hard… you sure?”
“we’ve done worse toru.” you laughed. “i feel like this would give us more points.”
“oh it definitely would.” he nodded. “okay baby.”
“yay!” you cheered. “let’s practice the lift and propel on the mats first because if not i’m gonna eat shit.”
satoru laughed and sat down on the bleachers with you, quickly taking off his skates before standing and kneeling in front of you, untying your laces and slipping your skates off for you as you cutely smiled, him feeling like your little hero and knight in shining armor even if it was for something so minuscule.
he loved doing things for you.
in the middle of you and satoru practicing the move on the mats, your mother came in through the front doors of the ice rink.
“hi!” she greeted, holding up two wide rectangular boxes. “your costumes came in!”
“oh thank god!” you breathed out, satoru setting you down on your feet before you both ran to see. “i thought they weren’t gonna come in on time!”
“are they cool?!” satoru tumbled out. “do they scream please let me in the olympics?!”
you snorted and shoved his shoulder playfully as you unwrapped your boxes, your eyes shining in delight at the sight of your rhinestoned pale baby blue dress, a shade you purposefully picked out as it matched the color of satoru’s eyes— you lifting it with your fingertips from the box and gushing.
you turned it around and held it up against your frame as satoru pulled his top out— a white, tight long sleeved low cut v-neck button up that you already knew was gonna hug his yummy biceps so good, the thought of it making you bite the inside of your cheek as he checked over his black slacks.
your mother clasped her hands together, holding it to her mouth as her eyes gleamed over the two of you.
“i can’t believe it’s happening now.” she spoke softly, you and satoru diverting your attention to her and smiling. “for so long it was always just a distant thing you know? but now it’s here. actually.”
“fuck i know right.” you responded.
“language, y/n.”
“but i’m twenty!” you whined, pouting as satoru snickered behind you.
your mother rolled her eyes and cupped yours and satoru’s chins under her hands.
“good luck next week, alright? i know you guys will sweep.” she pushed. “make aki proud.”
the smiles on your faces grew, nodding as she squeezed your chins and released.
“oh! satoru—” your mother picked up her jacket and swung her purse over her shoulder. “your mom won’t be home for the night her trip got extended until tomorrow… you can sleep over at our house if you want so you’re not over there alone? or y/n can stay with you?”
“oh okay!” he spoke kindly. “thank you for letting me know!”
she smiled and nodded, hugging you both goodbye before leaving the rink.
your head whipped in his direction.
“toru if i sleep over at your house we can watch horror movies and actually scream as loud as we want without worrying about waking anybody up.”
his eyes bulged open. “oh my god you’re right! dibs i get to choose—”
“fuck!—”
by the end of practice you and satoru mastered the addition you added into the lasso lift, performing it beautifully on the ice over and over again until it was like simple reflex, calling it a day after a while and packing your things up to drive to satoru’s house.
you both took turns stepping in the shower to get rid of the sticky sweat that lingered on your skin, changing into comfy pajamas after as you tiredly settled in satoru’s big comfy bed— him flicking through his selection of horror movies and debating which one to pick.
“do you wanna watch something gory or just horror.”
“gory!” you perked up. “i need to work on not being so queasy.”
“but you seem fine when i throw up?”
“that’s because i’m used to it.” you laughed, head resting on his shoulder as he picked a movie and threw his remote somewhere across the bed, his arm coming to wrap around your tummy and pull you in.
it wasn’t like the selection mattered anyways, because fifteen minutes into the movie you were already falling asleep, hand resting on satoru’s torso as he continued to watch it— for some reason still wide awake even after skating for hours.
your sleepy sudden movements from your hand made him weirdly stiffen and relax every single time, your brows furrowing at the feeling and eyes fluttering open when he wouldn’t stop doing it.
“toru… are you still ticklish?” you mumbled sleepily.
he stiffened again.
“no.” he answered softly. “why..?”
you lazily grinned.
“youuu suureee?”
terror struck him as he sensed exactly what the fuck you were about to do.
“please spare me please spare me—”
you jumped on him and tickled his entire upper body, satoru laughing and gasping as he smacked your hands away and twisted and turned, his strong grip making it hard for you to tickle him at one point as you stubbornly swung a leg over his waist and settled over his lap, attacking him while he yelped and screamed.
“baby!” he gasped. “baby please! have some mercy is this how much i mean to you?!”
you giggled and finally stopped, hands retracting as you settled them on your hips. “that’s what you get for lying to me.”
“i was lying for my safety.”
“uh huh.”
you both grinned, satoru’s eyes occasionally flickering down to you straddling his lap with your pretty plushy thighs and blushing, trying to keep his gaze on yours to refrain himself from doing something a little too mental and weird.
but it was too fucking late, because it took no time at all for the blood to rush to his pathetic dick and harden.
surprisingly though, you were the one that was mental— the feeling of his cock against your clit undeniable as the uncomfortable shifts of satoru’s waist only stimulated it against your little nub and made you bite down hard on your bottom lip, shaky breaths leaving your mouth as it was getting harder and harder for you to restrain yourself from satoru’s godlike existence.
and your body was just not listening as you timidly rolled your hips over his crotch— your short shorts criminally thin as you felt just how big satoru’s length was, mouth watering as your palms timidly settled over his chest for stability, grinding on his cock harder.
satoru’s eyes were blown out as he watched you do something so— so lewd, his mind wandering if you were fully and properly there as something like this was absolutely breaking your unspoken rule, and you were more strict about it than he was.
but he didn’t want you to stop. god no.
at this point, you and satoru were off that metaphorical tight rope and hanging on by two hands— having both failed at keeping each other balanced as you rolled and rolled your hips deliciously on his dick, his chest quickly rising and falling at the feeling of your warm pussy over his groin and at the sight of you using him to get yourself off.
your little needy mewls made his hands tremble as he threw his head back on the pillow, eyes pathetically fucked out over something so simple.
“fuck me..” satoru groaned, hands coming up to rub over his face as his hips lifted to meet your grinding.
him doing that broke you out of your haze and you stiffened, satoru taking his hands away from his face with pinched brows at the sudden halt.
what happened?
“okay!” you laughed nervously, an alarmed expression as you swung your leg off of his lap and scrambled under the covers, pulling it completely over you as you shamefully looked anywhere and everywhere but satoru.
but he was out of it.
undoubtedly out of it now that you did what you did… wanting more, wanting all of you as he snatched the covers off of your frame and you squeaking as a result.
“why’d you stop.” he whispered, thumb raising to trace your bottom lip.
“i don’t— i don’t know what you’re talking about—”
“yes you do—”
“absolutely not—”
“i want you.” he cut you off. “i want you bad and i know you want me too so let’s just— let’s just do this once, okay? once please just to see what it’s like and it’ll never happen again.”
your eyes remained wide as you looked at his desperate frantic ones, his hands already kneading at your waist and thighs.
he was entrancing you into his proposal again, exactly the same way as when you both kissed for the first time at the festival as he leaned down and nibbled at your jaw, slotting himself in between your legs.
“do— do what?”
“fuck.” he mumbled, rolling his hips down on your pussy rough and you gasping at the sensation of his big cock against your clit again.
you whimpered as he rutted into you, hands flying to squeeze his biceps as his wet mouth moved down to your neck, licking and gnawing as he waited for your response.
“but isn’t that—” you stifled a moan. “isn’t that too far toru?—”
“please baby please.” he picked his head up and looked at you. “just once i swear once so we see what it’s like and get it out of our systems and never do it again. i promise.”
he needs to kiss you right fucking now.
your eyes fluttered closed as he continued to hump you, licking your lips as you weakly tried to look into his eyes.
“you swear?” you breathed out. “swear it just once and that’s it—”
“i swear i swear i swear—”
“okay then fuck me toru please—”
satoru nearly cried as he ripped himself away from you to frantically pull off his shirt and pants, him slapping your hands away when you tried to take off your own clothes as he wanted to do it himself— lifting your shirt over your head and downright tearing your shorts in half as he flung them down and across the room, your little pink bra and panties set actually turning him into a complete mess as he hovered back over you and shoved his tongue in your mouth.
you still tasted just as sweet as he remembered.
“been dreaming of—” mmpf— “kissing you since you let me, sweets.”
“yeah?” your lips moved sloppily with his as you snuck a hand in your panties and dipped your fingers in your pussy, collecting your arousal. “you missed me toru?”
“uh huh.” he breathed hotly against your lips, hand coming to slide underneath your bra to cup your bare tit. “every fucking night i’d jerk my dick dry thinking about it.”
his words made your clit twitch as you pushed him off your lips.
“open your mouth.”
satoru did as told without a peep and opened it with his tongue out, your hands coming out from your panties as you reached up and slipped your fingers in his mouth, his lips closing in and sucking everything you had to give him as he salvaged up your arousal.
“fuck—” he released your fingers. “is this from your pussy baby?”
“mhm.” you moaned.
your arousal was even sweeter.
“my god—” he grabbed your wrist and licked a long stripe up your palm. “you dirty fucking thing m’gonna have to taste for myself and see.”
you gasped. “what?”
satoru sat up and pulled your wet panties down your legs, biting down on his tongue hard at the sight of your angelic bare cunt before him, slick and shiny and pretty as you unclasped your bra and spread your legs for him— eager and ready and not a single other thought in your brain besides the one that was screaming for satoru to stick his dick inside you.
“toruuuu!” you whined. “quit staring and fuck me.”
his cock pulsed.
“patience sweets, i wanna taste you first.”
you expected satoru to just lower himself down and shove his head in between your thighs, but you were dead fucking wrong as he stood, grabbed your waist and yanked you high up, sitting you on his shoulders as you squealed and gripped his hair.
“wait toru isn’t this uncomfortable i—”
he scoffed. “fuck no. i’ve been lifting you my whole life baby this is nothing.”
your speech lodged itself in your throat as you felt his tongue lap at your folds and clit, slobbering and filthy as he ate and scarfed you down just like his usual daily sweets, you by far his absolute favorite as he slurped your little pussy up and made you squeal and moan.
satoru walked over to the wall and leaned you up against it, taking your thighs off of his shoulders and placing his hands underneath as he propped you up and spread your legs wider, your jaw dropping at his slimy tongue flicking and him slabbering his mouth side to side rapidly until your legs shook and you saw stars.
“toru—”
he grunted, tongue prodding at your hole and you jumping.
“i think— i think i’m gonna cum and i—” pant “i don’t wanna—”
satoru separated his mouth from your pussy with a squelch and looked up, smiling big.
“too bad!”
“but—”
he spit on your cunt and you gasped.
“i said too bad.”
he dipped back in and fully devoured you as you mewled, messier as he slushed his tongue all over and you’d never experienced something like this, something that felt so fucking good as you started cumming all over his face in record speed regardless of how hard you were trying to hold back.
“yummy.”
he let go and you dropped down as he quickly caught you, turning and throwing you on his bed as he climbed over you— wrapping a hand around his cock and jerking as he kissed and swallowed your lips up again.
“you want me to make love to you or fuck you?” he slopped against your mouth before pulling back, yours and his eyes fluttering open to look at each other.
your legs were still shaking by the eat out he gave you seconds before, finding it hard to get your words together as his handsome deluded face stared at you.
“i— um—”
he placed his lips next to your ear.
“you want me to fuck you like my wife or fuck you like a little slut? or both?”
“both toru please—”
he grinned, coming back up as he parted your legs further open and lined his leaky tip with your hole.
“i can do both!”
satoru pushed himself in and you choked, hands clasping over your mouth as you felt him bully his big cock through and leave you a blabbering crying mess under him— his chest heaving at the warmth and softness and stickiness of your cute gummy walls, his years of imagining and theorizing how you’d feel wrapped around his dick all completely debunking themselves at the real feeling as you whimpered and clenched your hole.
“jesus christ—” he shivered, swallowing thickly as his trembling fingers settled on your waist, him slowly reeling his hips back before pumping in. “you’re— you’re warm.”
you dropped your hands and wiped your cheeks as you hiccuped, the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of your walls incandescently euphoric as you embarrassingly already felt yourself wanting to cum again when he had just stuck his dick inside of you— you wanting to ride out this moment for a bit longer and not finish so quickly like you had done on his mouth.
“am i being too mean pretty?” he huffed, thrusts now quick and curt as he gripped your bouncing tits and pinched your perking nipples, the sight of your little tears shamefully turning him on.
you frantically shook your head and tried to clear your brain. “n—no!—”
“good.” he smiled, a little crazed as he let go of your boobs, placed his hands on the backside of your thighs and pushed your knees up to your chest, picking up speed as you squealed and whimpered, utterly taken aback by how rough satoru was being considering the fact that he was such a goofy and kind and loving person on the daily.
oh… what years worth of pent up sexual frustration can do to a man.
satoru whined as you milked his dick, wheezing as he hammered his hips up and slapped against your skin, your body jolting and bouncing uncontrollably as his bed squeaked loud and obnoxiously.
thank god his mother wasn’t home.
“i’ve wanted this i’ve wanted this i’ve wanted this—” satoru babbled, his critical thinking out the fucking window as he just tumbled out totally random but honest confessions as your ears eagerly drank up every word and made your hole tighten.
“yeah?” pant “f—for how long baby?”
“for so long—” he whined loudly, fucking you faster as your mouth hung open and you gripped his wrists for support. “you’re everything i’ve ever w—wanted—”
“i— i’ve only ever wanted you toru— fuck! you’re big.“ you moaned, loving the way a huge deranged smile spread across his face as his hips pistoned into you and his hands pinned you down.
“cum on my dick baby please cum on my dick i want it i want it—”
your toes curled and you squealed, vision flashing white as you let out a high pitched scream at the intense buzzing feeling, your bodies hot and sticky and wet as satoru leaned over and shoved his lips in your ear.
“can i— can i cum inside?” he choked through gritted teeth as he came close to spilling his seed. “please i wanna cum inside—”
“but m’not on the pill—”
“please please baby i beg you—” hah! “i don’t wanna cum anywhere else—”
your eyes fluttered shut at his words and you quickly nodded, his hand cupping your face as he thrusted in one last time and pumped his cum entirely inside you without an ounce of hesitation for the consequences, his horny mind actually crazed and solidifying that there was no fucking way in hell he was gonna accept just friends from this point forward.
what a stupid thought.
“mmm…” you slowly moved your hips a little, feeling his cum all inside your ravished walls as you licked your lips. “your cum feels hot toru.”
not even warm, hot as it slushed and moved inside you with every movement you made, some of it dribbling and coating your outer folds as you bit your bottom lip into a smile and craned your head up to his neck, nibbling and giving satoru tiny kitten licks as he trembled and struggled to stay afloat and not give out his upper arm strength— trying to prevent himself from squishing you.
satoru pressed a soft tender kiss to your cheek then before sitting up and delicately sliding his dick out, running a soothing hand over your tummy as he did so and giving you a lazy smile.
he suddenly raised his pinky to you.
“birds of a feather?” he murmured, other hand running from your stomach over to your thighs now as he just lovingly felt you up, you smiling with rosy cheeks as you linked your little pinky with his.
“birds of a feather.”
you both kissed your thumbs and locked your promise, deciding then that you should probably shower once more before getting into bed to officially sleep— but deciding to shower together as you softly and steamily made out under the misty hot running water, body and mind relaxed as you just swallowed in the ambience of each other, you both not only holding on to your metaphorical tight rope with one hand now, but it actually on the verge of snapping as a whole and sending you both free falling.
and for the next couple of days, you and satoru were feral.
years and years of doing fucking nothing with pure restraint and fantasizing did a number on you both as any chance you got you were making out on your bed, his bed, and even in satoru’s car after your lectures— your hand teasingly going lower and lower until you’d shove a hand in his pants to pull his dick out and pump, your body leaning across the console and mouth going down to bob and suck as he moaned and pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail to guide you and your pretty bows and fuck your mouth just to hear the sounds of you choking, eyes from time to time frantically looking around to see if no one was around as you blowed him.
and you did that basically all of the time for the next three days until the final practice just before the international skating union competition, satoru physically unable to leave you alone and unscathed as he constantly pinned you down to eat your pussy or suckle on your soft tits, his hand tightly clasped over your mouth in your room when your moans would get too loud as he fingered you, his long fingers squelching and abusing your cunt until you were finishing all over his hands again and again.
but you two having actual sex didn’t happen again apart from that night— satoru a man of his word since he promised you would only do it once… unfortunately. but that didn’t mean you couldn’t do other things, right?
except by the final practice, satoru was absolutely fucked off at the fact that neither of you had brought up the potentiality of being more than just friends, especially after doing all of those lewd acts.
he was so sick of it.
and so were you, quite frankly, but instead of being completely over it like satoru, you were afraid… afraid of what could happen and the possibility of losing him if you both indulged, if you let yourselves put your freaking careers on the line.
and satoru was the one person you couldn’t bear to lose. not ever.
“we look good sweets!” satoru cheesed, rotating around in the ice rinks dressing room mirrors as you had your costumes on for dress rehearsal and refinements, both of you glittering and shiny and looking like a professional ice skating pair as you examined yourself, readjusting your straps and hugging your torso.
“cold.” you shivered. “maybe i should’ve had it as a long sleeve… shit.”
he laughed and placed his hands on your arms, rubbing up and down quickly to create frictional heat as you smiled at him gratefully. “nah, it’s cute like this! you’ll warm up once we run it a few times on the ice.”
you nodded, the both of you walking out of the dressing room and to the rink, skillfully putting on your skates before pushing yourself on the ice and gliding across.
“can you show me the uh—” satoru looked to the side in thought once he was on the ice in front of you. “the part where we skate in unison and have our arms up in an L? it’s in the chorus of our music—”
“oh!” you nodded and skated a bit away from him to demonstrate.
“i just wanna see if my form matches yours and we look clean.” he smiled. “and then show me the triple axel after that.”
you gave him a cute thumbs up and pushed yourself off, gliding gracefully and smoothly across the ice as satoru was supposed to be watching you to try and fix his form, but finding himself transfixed once again by the way you seamlessly skated with no sense of struggling effort— arms poised and flowy as your dress moved and fluttered with every twist and turn until you gradually propelled yourself up into the triple axel and landed correctly without a slip or wobble.
the level of difficulty and technicality you skated reminded him of akira— but your style, your movement, and the way you carried yourself was entirely your own.
you made figure skating look beautiful.
you were beautiful.
you slowed down on the ice and skated over to satoru.
“were you able to see? did you match me?—”
“you skate just like her.” satoru spoke softly, and you faltered.
he didn’t need to clarify who he was talking about, as you always knew.
“you’re just saying that.” you pursed your lips to keep yourself from smiling, or crying, you didn’t know.
but a compliment like that meant the absolute world to you.
“i’m not.” he shrugged, skating over to you and taking your hands as he glided with you to starting position. “you always have baby. and i know that’s what you’ve always wanted. i’m sorry i don’t say it enough.”
your eyes softened. “toru that’s not something to be sorry about at all…”
satoru was so kind.
you both skated together and ran the choreography a couple of times, spinning simultaneously and satoru lifting you again and again throughout the routine and still performing your lasso spinning lift successfully, arms around his shoulders and faces close as the wind whipped through both of your costumes and hair from traveling across the ice at such a speed before coming to a sudden choreographed halt at the end of your number.
you had slid down satoru’s body to plant your blades back on the ice when he had enough.
“please stick your tongue in my mouth.”
you choked on your spit and slapped a hand over your mouth.
“toru no! absolutely not we can’t anymore okay—”
“what are we.”
you froze.
“huh?”
“what are we.” he repeated, eyes dead locked on yours and hard. “are we together? are we not? are we friends? what are we—”
“we’re— we’re friends toru—”
“oh fuck no.” he let you go and created a little bit of space between you. “don’t give me that shit we’re not friends.”
“w—well we can’t—”
“i’m your man.” he stated firmly. “i’m your man i’ve been your man for years and i’m tired of avoiding this sweets! it sucks!”
“we’re putting everything at risk if we do toru we can’t!”
“i’m your man.”
“no you’re not—”
he cut you off. “your mouth has been on my dick. we’ve had sex. we’ve kissed we’ve made out we’ve told each other i love you if that doesn’t tell you that we’re together then what the actual fuck?!”
“oh my god toru i know i know!” you groaned, hugging yourself as you anxiously looked at him. “what happens if we break up? huh? what do we do?”
he shook his head. “we won’t.”
“you don’t know that.” you laughed bitterly. “if that happens we lose each other satoru understand that. we break birds of a feather, we ruin our careers, and we ruin us.”
“first of all—” he started. “our birds of a feather promise is to stick together, keep each other safe, and not seperate or fight, is it not?”
“it— it is—”
“so do you really think if we continue to keep each other in this fuck ass limbo of friends that we aren’t already breaking that?” he threw his arms out in emphasis. “we have never been just friends. i’ve known you for fourteen fucking years and we have never been just that.”
you blinked back tears.
“i promise you baby—” he slid closer to you and cupped your cheeks. “that we won’t leave each other. i will fight and try every single damn day to make sure that that shit never happens even though i already know it won’t because you’ve been made for me since birth and we haven’t separated since we’ve met.”
satoru wiped your cheeks. “but i also promise you, that if we continue as just friends, we will break. we’re gonna string each other along so fucking much that we’re gonna go absolutely insane and drive each other away. that is for certain.”
“but— skating—”
“i don’t give an ever living fuck.” he spat funnily and you laughed through your tears. “skating is nothing without you. all the trophies and medallions and the god damn olympics itself with that gold medal is nothing without you. i would give that shit up in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you in my life in exchange.”
“and i would do the same for you toru!” you sobbed, his arms immediately wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you in as you sniffled and hiccuped into his chest, him kissing the side of your head repeatedly and soothing a hand down your back.
“don’t cry pretty i didn’t meant to make you cry...” he mumbled, cheek mushed up against your head as your shoulders shook, a huge disgusting pit of guilt in his stomach. “fine it’s okay we can be just friends for a bit longer please don’t cry—”
“no!” you sputtered, pushing him back a little to face him. “i don’t wanna be just friends anymore either toru… it hurts me so much.”
“it does?” he asked softly and you nodded.
“it hurts me too.”
satoru wiped your remaining tears again and fixed the little bows in your hair, a soft liberated smile on his face as he reached down to cup your cheeks and bring your perfect lips to his, kissing you lovingly as the both of you felt like you could finally rest and stop ridiculously hiding your love in the shadows after so many years.
the thin tight rope that you had both been toppling over and rebalancing and holding onto to keep the other from falling, had finally snapped in two, and you and satoru were now in the darkest depths of the truth of what you both were.
except it wasn’t dark at all.
it was light and airy and heavenly, and you wondered why you had been so afraid when there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place, since the one you were falling with was satoru.
silly.
he pulled apart and looked at you, his striking blue eyes and white fluffy hair especially beautiful.
“tomorrow—” he began. “we’re gonna absolutely destroy everyone else there and land a spot in the top three, and then after i’m gonna take you out on a nice dinner and buy every single fucking dessert off the menu, and then i’m gonna ask you to be my girlfriend. okay baby?”
you giggled then, the brightest rosy cheeks on display from the both of you as you eagerly nodded and threw your arms around his neck.
and tomorrow could not come soon enough, because not only were you looking forward to making your dreams a reality and competing against other figure skating pairs from around the world and the olympics itself, but also the thought of officially being satoru’s after years of wishing on little stars and day dreaming about what that would be like for hours on end.
until the moment was here. happening.
the indoor arena was electric and rowdy the minute the competition commenced, you and satoru in absolute awe of the energetic atmosphere as many individuals in the crowd waved their banners or screamed their loved ones names, an ambience very similar to the olympics as you both watched pair after pair perform their hardwork and dedication on the ice, goosebumps on your skin as you fidgeted and jittered.
out of twenty of your countries competing pairs, only three of you would be chosen for the olympics.
and you hoped to god you and satoru would be chosen.
“we’re almost up baby.” satoru patted your head, sitting on a bench in your designated area. “i think it’s two more pairs then it’s us.”
you nodded, nerves closing up your throat as your eyes darted over the rink.
satoru frowned.
“hey.” he placed a hand on your thigh, suddenly wanting to rip your nylon tights off so you could actually feel his skin on yours. “you nervous sweets?”
you nodded again, and he gave you a silly grin.
“don’t be! you’re literally akira the second. we’ll be fine!”
you laughed lightly and leaned your head on his shoulder.
“and even if we don’t land a spot, that’s fine too.” he kissed your head. “it’s our first year anyways… we’ll know the game for next time and we’ll try harder.”
you picked your head up and smiled at him, his words settling your nerves just as soon as the last remaining pair took their places on stage, yours and satoru’s turn right after.
what you didn’t know, was that satoru was just as nervous as you.
but he knew you needed a rock and someone to comfort you— wanting to swoop in like a little hero and save you again… so he kept it hidden.
“fuck i almost forgot!” satoru jumped up and dug into his duffel bag, pulling out a roll of pale baby blue ribbon that matched your dress exactly. “you told me you didn’t have ribbon that matched your costume so i went and tried to look.”
he held it out for you cutely on his palm.
“does this one match?”
you picked up the roll, astonished and mushy inside that satoru actually went out of his way to find this specific ribbon color for you because you had expressed how unhappy you were with the darker shade you had, your eyes looking up at him in complete adoration.
“oh my goodness— thank you toru!”
you quickly undid the bows in your hair and slipped off the former ribbon, digging through your duffel bag for scissors and cutting off pieces from the new ribbon before looping them through your hair and tying, not needing a mirror since you’ve done it for as long as you could remember.
satoru’s cheeks went pink as he looked at your new pretty bows.
“does they look okay?”
“beautiful.” he responded, pecking your lips before taking your hand and leading you to the entrance of the rink.
“okay—” you breathed out. “this is it.”
“what kind of food do you think they’ll have at the dinner place we picked—”
“toru!” you giggled. “not now!”
he smiled sheepishly at you before leaning his forehead against yours.
you stuck your pinky out.
“birds of a feather?”
satoru grinned and looped his pinky with yours.
“birds of a feather baby.”
you both kissed your thumbs and once again, locked your promise.
the announcer over the speakers iterated your names and your country as you and satoru glided across the ice poised and graceful with your arms up, waving at the crowd and giving your mothers a special frantic wave before moving to starting position, unknowing of the way several other pairs and the judges themselves murmured about your reputation and your association with akira.
and you hoped she was watching over you both now. somewhere.
the music begun, contemporary and lyrical as you and satoru slid across the rink, already impressive and entertaining as you performed moves and lifts right off the bat, the sounds of your blades scraping against the ice oddly keeping you in time with your choreography as the number went on.
and you and satoru were feeding off of each other, the chemistry undeniable to a strangers eye that had no idea of your story as you conveyed passion through your expressions, each technical movement bleeding with the fact that you both had been olympic level trained since the age of fourteen and fifteen.
you were halfway through your routine now, the lasso lift coming up next as satoru harbored in his strength so he could properly propel you into that newly added spin.
you skated around him and he lifted you up into the air, the crowd cheering and excited at your beautiful remarkable forms.
except satoru’s hands were slippery.
why?
nerves. he quickly deemed it nerves as he had no time to deliberate since it was almost time to propel you up into the spin, his mind already racing over the fact that the slip in his hands was hindering his strength to keep you up there, and he worried that if he pushed you up, it wouldn’t be enough and you’d come tumbling down— hurting yourself.
but satoru had zero time to decide again as he went with protocol and pushed you up as hard as he possibly could and prayed you would go into your triple axel spin successfully and that he’d catch you.
but the minute that he did, the force yanked him back and his skates flew up in front of him, you falling down and your thigh hitting something sharp before you both went slamming to the ground— sliding apart from each other on the ice.
the crowd screamed and gasped in terror, sounds you were all too familiar with to what you heard three years ago filling both your fuzzy minds as satoru struggled to get back up, his head turning slowly around to see if you were okay and just sore like him—
until he saw your limp body on your side, your back to him with blood slowly pooling out on the ice and staining your pretty blue dress.
satoru scrambled up and skated straightaway in a panic to you before sliding on his knees as he reached you, turning you over and paling as he saw you were unresponsive and out fucking cold.
“baby?“ he shook you. “hey— baby—”
nothing.
why weren’t you answering him? why weren’t you awake?
his brain flashed images of akira’s body the day that she died, suffocating deja vu as the way you looked when he saw you like that on your side was a carbon copy of her from three years ago, his chest picking up speed as you continued to lay limp even after he shook you desperately numerous times like a madman.
and why was there so much blood?
blood that looked sickly bright red against the white ice, blood that stained his sleeves and shirt and hands as he held you up and supported your head, and blood that wouldn’t stop fucking oozing out of your leg as he trembled.
“hey— hey can you hear me?” satoru tapped your cheek rapidly, shaking you gently again with horrified eyes and still not getting a response.
“fuck! why is this happening this isn’t supposed to happen—”
how could he be your hero? how could he stop the blood and wake you up? how could he— how could he fix this how could he take it all back how could he fix this—
“no no no baby please—” he sobbed. “not like aki baby not like her man—”
he shook you again, your head lolling to the side as if— as if you were—
no.
“baby— birds of a feather right? birds of a feather we have to stick together you can’t— you can’t leave right?” he cried, chest heaving and vision blurry and you just felt so cold.
“you’re not leaving you’re not leaving me please not like aki please god—” he cradled you up to his chest in his arms and rocked. “you can’t leave me you’re all i know and i don’t wanna know anything else please baby—”
satoru’s frantic repeated heartbroken wailing echoed throughout the arena as the crowd erupted and moved around in hysteria, him still rocking you in his arms as he turned his head with terrified bloodshot eyes to look at both of your mothers, yours hunched over in a fit of screams and cries as his had her hands in her hair in utter disbelief and tears.
“fuck what do i do!” he sobbed, legs shakily standing as he slipped one arm under your back and the other under your knees, picking your limp body up as he saw a huge group of paramedics run over to him on the ice as he carried you over.
“help—” hic! “h—help me please—”
why couldn’t satoru be your hero when it mattered most?
several of them lowered the stretcher and took you from him, laying your lifeless self on it before hoisting you up and swiftly carrying you away, all of it horrifyingly and painfully similar to akira’s inevitable death.
were you gone?
satoru looked down and saw your baby blue ribbons on the ice, wet and stained with blood, once perfect bows in your pretty hair when he had you awake and breathing.
were you breathing? had you hit your head?
he couldn’t remember.
he couldn’t remember anything but your unresponsiveness, the way your skin was colder than the ice itself as he picked up your ribbons and looked at them in his hands— and the way your blood stretched over for what looked like miles and was still there.
in front of him. taunting him.
was the world so cruel as to take you too?
it wouldn’t. it couldn’t.
you’d never done anything wrong. you’d never treated anybody indifferently as you were sweet and beautiful and talented, always in servitude of others— in servitude of him as you taught him how to ice skate when you didn’t need to at six years old, you already kind and gentle at that young age when you could’ve easily shooed him away like a little bug and told him to fuck off.
and throughout your life too, as he was well aware he was an annoying dramatic piece of shit that whined and cried and ate your stashes of sweets all of the time— but you always just giggling and looking at him with adoration in your eyes, with your cheeky smile, with the little ribbon bows in your hair he loved so fucking much.
oh how he wished he didn’t always take your sweets at that moment. how he wished he wasn’t always an annoying blockhead and made you mad at times with his persistent personality and neediness as he stood there frozen in the rink staring at your blood— dark now and dull, wishing it was him instead of you.
you were knocked out for five days at the hospital.
you and satoru also didn’t make it into the top three at the international skating union competition.
you should’ve, as your score was already higher than any other pair there and only halfway through the routine too— but that’s precisely why you got knocked out.
if you had finished your number, you would’ve landed in the top three, but it ending halfway cut off the opportunity for accumulating more points, and eventually another pair surpassed your halfway score by two points.
but satoru didn’t give a shit. fuck the olympics and fuck the international skating union while your body laid still on the hospital bed for hours on end, him refusing to leave your side as he sat there and stared off into space with nothing in his head but hatred for himself as it was his fault that this happened and his blade that sliced you— eyes red and sunken and tired and refusing to eat or drink.
you had hit your head on the ice, but thankfully the trauma wasn’t anywhere near the severity of akira’s, it only inducing a strong concussion and sending you flying out of consciousness upon impact.
but it was the loss of blood that was the problem.
you had lost so much, too much of it.
it made you weak and frail and unable to do much and satoru worried that that’s what was going to take away your fighting chance of survival.
“you should go home satoru…” your mother sighed, standing by the door of your hospital room, her own eyes red and swollen.
he shook his head no silently.
“she’ll still be here… you need to eat something or sleep please. you look awful.”
satoru smiled weakly and shook his head again.
“m’fine.”
your mother pursed her lips to the side and she sighed again, nodding.
“i’ll come by early in the morning, alright?”
he hummed, giving her a tiny wave as she left and closed the door behind her.
satoru had brought a roll of pink ribbon from your little white box in your room, unrolling the pieces he chose and lifting his hands, taking the ends of your hair and trying to tie little thin bows the way you always did, but huffing softly in irritation when they just looked like shit.
he undid the one he was working on and settled for feeling the material of the ribbon between his thumbs instead.
satoru brought you bouquets everyday too.
sometimes three at a time as he continuously swapped out old flowers and replaced them with new ones, changed their water and poured fresh quantities into each vase to keep them alive, and often picked some more from the hospital garden when he went down to get some fresh air for a minute— the least he could do for nearly killing you.
and satoru had a lot of time to think while he waited for you to wake up— bitter and resentful at the world for letting him sit there healthy while you were out, so much so that he started thinking stupid shit like how he wished you would’ve forgotten him and dismissed his yapping dreams about ice skating when you met so you would’ve been an independent skater instead, so you then wouldn’t have gotten hurt by his idiocy and you wouldn’t be laying in a hospital bed like you were now.
or swapped places. him instead of you so he could beat up the fucks that took akira away and beat up zeus or— or aphrodite or whoever the fuck that was responsible for keeping him from you so he could come back to you… unsure if you were doing the same thing as he stared at your resting face.
you should’ve just left him behind.
but he was sleeping when you woke.
arms propped up and crossed next to you on the hospital bed, his cheek mushed up on them and face to the side as you blinked your eyes open and was straight up confused, not a single memory of the incident flitting through your mind… until it did.
and it hit you bad.
your mind reeled with a pounding headache, tears prickling your eyes at the events that plagued through your mind— a part of you knowing there was absolutely no way you and satoru made top three and gutted about it, feeling shaken from the memory alone of you falling and hitting the ice.. but grateful.
grateful to be alive, for you knew akira wasn’t as lucky.
was it because of her that you had lived? had she pulled some strings to change your fate?
your eyes trailed down to a sleeping peaceful satoru, your gaze softening at how tired and broken he looked, bags dark and purple as he snored away next to you, your hand lifting and delicately settling over his fluffy white hair as you smiled that he was here next to you— caressing.
satoru shot up wide awake then as you jumped and retracted your hand, the both of you alarmed and frantic.
“baby?” he grabbed your hand and felt around it, feeling warmth for once as he stood up straight and shoved back one of the sleeves of his hoodie.
“you’re awake? are you actually?—” he pinched his arm hard over and over and you giggled.
you giggled— the sound filling his ears and lifting an undeniable dark ton off of his shoulders as he relaxed, tears automatically brimming his eyes.
“i thought i fucking killed you sweets.” his voice shook, arms gently coming around you and pulling you into an embrace.
“killed me?” you frowned. “toru what are you talking about—”
“oh god you have amnesia—”
“no!” you laughed. “what do you mean by almost killed me? you didn’t do anything.”
“i did everything.” he spoke flatly. “i fucked up that lasso lift. i pushed you up too hard and we fell. i cut you with my blade i made you bleed—”
“toru that was an accident.” you pulled back and your chest hurt over the devastated look on his face, wiping his tears and kissing his nose. “remember— aki’s partner felt just like this and we had to tell him too it was an accident. you can’t control something like that. at all. it’s just unfortunate circumstance.”
“i know but i still feel like—” he wiped his eyes and swallowed. “i still feel like i could’ve done something different. it should’ve been me and not you and i should’ve—”
“toru don’t even don’t think about things like that.” you shook your head. “there wasn’t anything you could’ve done, baby. and that’s okay.”
you gently scooched over on the bed and patted the spot next to yours, satoru immediately climbing and settling in, clinging on to you as he placed his head on your chest with his arm firm but careful around your waist, suddenly feeling how exhausted he actually was from the days he spent restless.
you couldn’t have imagined the pain satoru must’ve gone through waiting for you to wake up. you didn’t know how he even fucking managed as you would’ve been torn into bits and pieces not knowing if he was going to live or not, looking at his limp bloody body the way he had to look at yours and it reminding you of the event that brought you both the most trauma and grief.
you couldn’t believe you almost went out the same way.
satoru confirmed your thoughts later and filled you in on the results of the international skating union competition, rubbing salt into the wound a little more upon learning that you landed fourth, nearly there as you couldn’t help but cry a bit in your hospital bed when he told you that you could’ve had a spot, satoru hugging you and reassuring you that you’d both have your shot at it in the next four years.
your family was relieved that you were awake, tons of people piling in and giving you sweets and food that satoru hungrily eyed and gawked over, you laughing and passing him the ones he particularly enjoyed most as you conversed with your relatives.
and recovery was thankfully easy— doctors orders being just you taking it light and being careful not to bonk your head against anything, as well as taking care of the laceration on your leg— changing the bandage frequently every morning and night, satoru insisting he help you with that and with many other things that you needed as he tried to make up for what he still thought was his fault.
two weeks had gone by of just rest and peace and no figure skating, thinking you and satoru deserved this break, but also secretly petrified of stepping on the ice again after what had happened— neither of you wanting to hurt the other as you avoided the topic of training for the meantime at all costs.
“maybe we should work at a water park.” you suggested one day, the two of you seated on a park bench through the chilly mid january air as you shared a plate of chocolate drizzled strawberries you got from some nice lady and her fruit stand. “be lifeguards!”
“oh hell no!” he spoke with his mouthful before swallowing, readjusting the black round sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose. “you think i’m gonna be fine with watching random old men savoring after my wife in her little red bikini while i’m off saving some drowning kid? oh no thank you. let the kid drown.”
“toru!” you laughed, smacking his shoulder. “okay then what else?”
“janitors.”
you shrugged. “i like to clean. sometimes.”
“and your entire body is covered in those jumpsuits no stinky old men looking at—”
satoru’s phone buzzed against his jeans and he paused and pulled it out as you giggled, him barely glancing at the caller i.d before answering.
“hello?”
you mindlessly carried on plopping strawberries in your mouth and chewing.
“this is he…. oh hello! yes! how are you?”
you eyed satoru quizzically at his sudden formal change in tone, his eyes glued to the cement below.
“uh huh… really? o—okay! no yes for sure! thank you so much for the opportunity!”
opportunity?
you slowed your chewing and nudged his shoulder gently, wanting him to give you some kind of sign as to who it was on the other line.
“okay, we’ll keep in touch! thank you again!”
satoru slowly removed his phone away from his ear as the other line went dead, staring at his screen and you curiously leaning over only to see his call history log, a random number at the top.
“holy fuck.”
“what?!” you leaned in closer and tried to catch his eyes with yours, his shocked wide gaze slowly flittering to your face.
“that was the national olympic committee.”
you froze.
“shut the fuck up.” you covered your mouth. “toru what did they say what did they say—”
“one of the pairs that made it in the top three got disqualified.” he spat out quickly, shooting up and digging his fingers into his hair as he walked back and forth slowly in disbelief, spinning to face you. “i— i don’t know why i didn’t ask but we got bumped up.”
silence.
“we—” your chest rose and fell erratically, eyes darting around as satoru knelt down and grabbed your hands.
“baby we made it.” he tightened his grip. “we’re competing in the olympics—”
you squealed and jumped up and down and pulled satoru in, the both of you comically bouncing off the walls as you wailed and cried and blabbered on about how you couldn’t believe it and how a chance like this was even given to you, satoru lifting you and spinning you around but stopping and freaking out and apologizing profusely over your injured leg, you shaking your head and laughing, kissing him in return.
“we can’t avoid skating toru.” you spoke once you and him had settled down. “it’s literally what brought us together… and what brought us to aki. and even from you spinning me around like that it reminded me how much i missed skating with you.”
“i feel the same sweets.” he smiled, big and bright and handsome as he leaned over and kissed your rosy cheek. “i miss lifting you up and catching a glimpse of your ass underneath your—”
“toru!”
even though you and satoru were finally on board and accepting of bringing skating back into your lives, it wasn’t to say at all that the fear itself went away when you tried to do lifts or spins in the air with each other— apprehensive and scared as you practiced on the mats way more than necessary before moving choreography to the ice, satoru multiple times chickening out and needing a moment as he was petrified of hurting you again, and you glued in place at the thought of falling and slamming on the ground when you had just survived mostly unscathed.
but this wasn’t the time to be afraid over that anymore, and if akira were here, you both knew she’d smack you upside the heads and tell you to move… to get on the ice and do the sport you both loved and cherished most.
to finalize your dream and make it a reality.
and throughout the month that you and satoru spent before the commencement of the olympics, you trained like never before— no excuses as you worked tirelessly day and night with sweat literally dripping from your faces until every single goal was met and beyond, until every single throw from satoru was perfected and until every axel from you was delivered.
sometime during this month too, satoru finally got to take you out on that romantic candle lit dinner like he promised and asked you to be his girlfriend, him giddy and grinning the whole time and literally spoiling the moment as he meant to give you a chocolate dessert plate that said ‘will you be mine’ in chocolate syrupy letters, but accidentally eating it and smearing the words when he confused your plate with his, smacking his forehead repeatedly on the dining table as the silverware clattered— muttering about how dark it was and how he couldn’t fucking see, but you laughing so fucking much and clutching your stomach that your makeup smudged up at the corner of your eyes.
satoru was reminded again how much he loved you that day, because anyone else would’ve gotten tremendously annoyed and called him an idiot, but you…
you just giggled. giggled and hiccuped like always while he stared at you softly.
the love you and satoru shared stretched far beyond the concepts of what a platonic and romantic relationship was.
the love you and satoru shared was sacrifice. genuine sacrifice and yearn and absolute unadulterated love as you both without another thought would drop your careers for each other, would swap places if it meant the other would be safe from harm’s way, and would endure years of swallowing and pushing back feelings if it meant just keeping one another in your lives forever.
because that’s what birds of a feather was for to begin with.
a promise to stick together. a promise to keep each other safe.
a concept so pure and devoted that it translated onto the ice like no other pair when it came time for the olympics.
“you ready sweets?” satoru breathed out as you both stood in front of each other by the outside of the rink with interlaced fingers, shaking each other’s jitters out. “no matter what happens, we’ve already come so far and done so much, okay? we’ve done what we needed to do.”
“mhm!” you quickly nodded, satoru leaning down before you both rested your foreheads against each other’s with massive smiles on your faces, thunderous cheers echoing throughout the giant arena totally drowned out in your ears as you stared into satoru’s sparkling blue eyes.
“make aki proud.” you repeated softly, and he nodded, you hoping once again she was watching over you both.
you both stuck your pinkies out at the same time and looped them together.
“birds of a feather?” satoru beamed.
“birds of a feather.”
and you kissed your thumbs before sealing your promise.
you both watched the pair that you were going right after perform their routine, beautiful and difficult as you gnawed at your bottom lip in distress.
“toru…”
“yeah baby?”
“some of these pairs are crazy good…” you spoke over the music. “i’d honestly be happy with getting in the top twenty i don’t know if we can—”
satoru scoffed and shook his head, a sly smile as he looked over the rink with his arms crossed.
“nah, we’d win.”
and just like akira had done in her final olympic year— in her final moments, you and satoru made it known that it was your debut, that you had been hungry and desperate for this moment since the ages of six and seven, that you’d been raised and trained by a four-time olympic gold medalist for a decade as you executed the most technical and intricate moves and turns, you and satoru moving as one on the ice and identical as he took your hands and glided on the ice with you, raw emotion in your expressions that read love so clearly that it was impossible to miss.
with each lift, with each time satoru took you in his arms and spun, and with each time he simply held you close and tenderly to his chest as his blades scrapped across the ice with your pretty bows in his view— were all reminders for the two of you that partner figure skating was nothing without satoru and nothing without you.
the privilege of having another way to convey just how much you loved each other through the language of artistic expression and skates and ice, through the feel of each other’s skin, was one you nurtured and looked after and loved as the wind whipped through you and satoru due to the speed of your skates, performing quadruple axels like nothing while dropping the jaws of other figure skating pairs.
and because of this fact alone, how you both truly appreciated each other’s entities and had the indescribable power to correlate that into competitive sport—
was the reason why you and satoru won gold that day.
you and him, on your knees, gripping and hugging one another so hard and crying tears of joy as you both had come so far and gone through so much to get to where you were now, your dream now a complete and total reality as you stepped up onto that podium during the medal award ceremony just like akira had done— representing your country excellently with a big fat gold medal hung over your necks and a big fat kiss from satoru as he lip locked with you up there, flashings of cameras and bouquets and teddy bears scattered all throughout the ice in dismay.
“i love you!” satoru yelled to you over the roaring as you waved at the crowd, your mothers crying and blowing their noses and taking pictures from the edge of the rink as you and satoru cackled and pointed at them.
“i love you, toru!”
“no like seriously!” he put his waving hand down. “i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. thank you for recognizing that i have love and dreams too baby and for not forgetting about me even when i’ve been the most annoying dipshit of your life.”
“you’ve never been that to me my god toru! where is this coming from?” he hopped off the podium once you two were given the all clear and he held a helping hand out for you to take, you doing so and carefully stepping down.
“reeaally?” he cheesed, cheeky and silly as his big pearly white smile made your cheeks flush. “so you love me then?”
“i literally would not be with you if i didn’t—”
“hooray!” he cheered, throwing his arms up as flower petals flew from his bouquets and around. “my girlfriend loves me! and we’re gonna have rough passionate olympian sex in our hotel room—”
“toru!—”
the love you and satoru shared wasn’t something silly like ‘i like you, you like me.’
it was call me when you get home.
have you eaten yet?
here, let me help you.
whatever you need.
yours and satoru’s souls were exactly the same— blended, intertwined, and stubbornly knotted together as no amount of tug and pull could unravel you both apart, satoru finding over the years that loving you was like muscle memory from the moment he met you, his nerves and reflexes gravitating him towards you on the ice that first time even when he knew there was a huge chance of him slipping and falling, but not being afraid of it at all as long as he just got to you, convinced he knew you in another life as you just felt so familiar the moment he saw your pretty little face.
and you’re so glad that he did get to you… that he stayed with you.
fourteen years of ice cream trips and sleepovers and horror movies from the moment you were teeny tiny babies to adults, experiencing the hardships of your teenage years of loss and grief, to then adulthood and college as you had the privilege of learning to navigate it with another being that was just like you, two little birds with no sense of direction other than to each other.
and it was all thanks to one woman and one woman alone.
“i honestly believe that if she was there, she would’ve brought one of those confetti poppers with dye in it and set it off.” you commented, you and satoru sitting on the grass at her grave site as you leaned your head on his shoulder and his head on top of yours, having literally just come off the plane from being at the olympics— your countries olympic button up thick jackets adorning your figures as your gold medals gleamed radiantly against the sun.
“i wish she was there.” satoru hummed, and you nodded softly in agreement.
“me too… but i’m sure she was! as a little birdie.”
he chuckled, finding your hand and interlacing your fingers as you stared at her tombstone like you’d done so many times before already… except this time it was bittersweet, you having accomplished what the three of you had strived so hard for at last.
“i miss her.” you murmured. “i miss her cussing.”
your eyes flickered down to her peace offerings, the little snow angel trinket you had gotten her still pretty and glossy and her as it sat happily on her stone platform.
satoru picked his head up and kissed the top of your head, propping his chin up on it.
“i miss her too baby.” he responded softly. “everyday.”
“but— i can’t thank her enough for giving us the bullets to fire with for skating.. y’know..” you ran the pad of your index finger along her tombstone, rough and scratchy as you traced little hearts along the edges.
“and she brought us closer together, did she not?” satoru pointed out.
she did.
a woman who was clumsy and loud and erratic with the biggest potty mouth you had ever heard that was passed down to you and satoru in the blink of an eye… but man did she know what love was as she taught it to you and reminded you both of exactly what it was each and every day.
you and satoru had accepted the fact that your hearts would never be whole again, for akira had taken half of them elsewhere and into the depths of the unknown.
but you were okay with that. completely and utterly okay with that.
for love had no limits.
you wanted her to keep it, as you and satoru stitched the remaining halves of your hearts together to create a new whole, as there was no one else you both would rather have that part of you with them forever besides akira.
and yours and satoru’s stitched up hearts grew increasingly bigger and fonder even after a couple of years later, even after winning three more olympic gold medals, you and him back at the same place in front of akira’s grave like always, sitting and laughing and chatting— but with two little baby toddlers that were half of you and half of satoru as they blubbered on about ‘mama aki’ and her trophies, a delicate twinkling ring on your finger and a golden band around satoru’s as your little family had a picnic over her final resting place.
“papa!” your son exclaimed, satoru immediately turning his attention to him in the midst of scarfing down a turkey sandwich.
“yes my offspring?”
you playfully glared at your husband.
“why do your eyes look scarier in the day?”
“HAH!” you slapped a hand over your mouth to hush your cackling, satoru’s face absolutely taken aback and offended.
“they do!” your daughter giggled. “they do! they do!—”
“baby do something!” satoru whined, shoulders slumping as he threw his head back. “i’m being bullied by five year old’s!”
you giggled and kissed his cheek, his pout quickly turning into a soft little grin as his face flushed pink.
“but your papa’s eyes are pretty you guys! and they match yours!”
“mmm— nope! scary!”
your two twin toddlers giggled uncontrollably as they thought being mean to their dad was the funniest thing in the world, you laughing with them as satoru flopped back dramatically and completely laid down on the grass with his eyes looking straight up at the bright sky.
“s’okay.” he spoke flatly. “if even my pretty little wife thinks my suffering is funny i’ll just burn my eyes to a crisp—”
“toru!” you slapped his knee. “too graphic in front of the kiddies.”
“but my suffering!—”
“mommy mommy!” your daughter tugged at your sleeve and pointed to the top of akira’s tombstone, a cute perfect white and brown bird perched up on the edge and peering curiously at the four of you, the creature not alarmed whatsoever of your children’s sudden movements as they scrambled to get closer to it.
satoru propped himself up with an elbow and stared before you both locked eyes, knowing growing smiles on your faces as he fully sat up— leaning and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting it linger.
aki.
and it was like you and satoru were reminded again of your promise that you still told each other every day.
a promise that consisted of your years together… of your love, of your undying fervor of sticking together, of your need of keeping each other safe…
of birds of a feather.
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @umemiaa @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @k4zivy @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @tinyray-lovesfood @iloveoldermenn @dazqa @applepi25 @aria-chikage @rose-tinted-kalopsia @runfrme @unofficialsapphire
『 Psychopomp 』
Inspired by Souls on the Banks of the Acheron by Adolf Hirémy-Hirschl

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Telemachus prince
Telemachus prince
Tony do u like video games?
Yes 😼 (Visual novels with handsome men I'm looking at you...)
Just realized I didn't post this here (supposedly for valentines 🙂↕️)
Kisses for Caleb 💋🩷
Ye
Art by Mircsy

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lokissweater’s mlb megumi series has altered my brain chemistry and my expectations and standards of what i want in a man
#NEEDTHAT
art by: sapzuu on instagram!
@lokissweater has forever changed my brain chemistry






