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INTJ: sits on the ground when you take them on a walk. Doesn’t move and inch.

ENTJ: the proud tail held up high, with a little curve on top

ESFP: chasing after the red laser dot non-stop

ISFP: purring as you pet them, hissing if you pet them for too long. *holds grudges*

ESFJ: has no limit for petting them for too long

INTP: greeting you after a long time with a yawn

ISTP: greeting you after a long time by rubbing against your leg

INFP: the startled kitty expression with a curved back and a fluffy tail, after seeing a plant

ENFJ: pokes out their head from the wall and bravely sits on strangers’ laps. Other cats follow.

ENTP: grooming other kitty cats but also eating the food of the younger cats

ISFJ: when on catnip, falls asleep

ISTJ: part of the 50% of cats not affected by catnip

ESTJ: *spends 5 consecutive hours grooming themselves*

ESTP: *knocks over the fishbowl while trying to get the fish*

INFJ: the graceful walk of a cat with long legs

other type: oh my gosh look at this! Look at this infp, isn’t this such new news?!

infp: …I told you about that two weeks ago…

other type: wait! What if we did this to solve the problem???

other type: Great, that’ll work!!

infp: …I suggested that like fourty minutes ago…

other type: Hey guys, check this out!!

ENTJ: Holly Jolly Christmas (Doesn’t wish or suggest you enjoy the season it TELLS you to do so and then tries to force it’s way into your love life)

INTJ: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (because it exhibits the least amount of ‘holly jolly’)

ENTP: Step Into Christmas (It’s a song trying to be a card and a party and cover everything you’re eyes and mind can see in about 3.5 minutes)

INTP: Carol of the Bells (Highly complex song with a good message but no one really understands it and it comes off in a robotic tone)

ENFJ: We Need A Little Christmas (Uses decorating and Christmas activities to try to bring cheer to self and others)

INFJ: It’s a Marshmallow World (so many insightful metaphors just to say that it’s cold and snowy)

ENFP: Happy Christmas/War is Over (Wishing everyone well while being inclusive, looking forward to the future, and promoting harmony)

INFP: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the outcast that people bully but will probably end up saving everyone)

ESTJ: Here Comes Santa Claus (A pointless play by play on Santa and what to do in preparation for him)

ISTJ: I’ll Be Home For Christmas (It’s tradition and expected. Repeat the same Christmas over and over for happiness)

ESTP: Jingle Bells (On the move and in the moment. Not just reminiscing by a fire and not getting to deep and mushy on us)

ISTP: Little Drummer Boy (Doesn’t plan ahead or get too involved in the build up but uses talent at the last minute to enchant everyone)

ESFJ: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (An elaborate to-do list of all Christmas things. Parties, greeting cards, food, and family events)

ISFJ: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Well wishing everyone while reflecting on the traditional Christmas celebrations of yesteryear)

ESFP: Frosty the Snowman (Life’s short enjoy it while you can.)

INTJ: Thrown off the chessboard

INTP: Lost in a world of wisdom

ENTP: Flaming hearts and brave minds

ENTJ: The girl whose blood was blue

INFJ: A hand that held a thousand hearts

INFP: Summer snow

ENFJ: A legion of the light hearted

ENFP: Big smiles and party invites

ISTJ: The unbreakable trust

ISFJ: The path of a porcelain princess

ESTJ: How to build robots out of flesh and blood

ESFJ: A tireless saviour

ISTP: The remote that built the future

ISFP: Extended daydreams

ESTP: The myth of boudaries

ESTP: still driving to work, stuck in traffic

ESFP: getting written up for neglecting to follow the dress code again

ESTJ: the one writing up ESTP and ESFP

ESFJ: on their phone half the day, hella good at acting like they are working

ENTP: talking and joking around, but it’s all excused because they are actually really good at their job

ENTJ: giving ENTP a hard time anyway

ENFP: drawing their crush’s name in sharpie all over their arm

ENFJ: loudly singing whatever music is on the radio, regardless of whether or not they know the lyrics

ISFP: staring blankly out the window, trying to block out ENFJ’s singing

ISTP: sending out training courses because they finally had it with people doing stuff the wrong way

ISTJ: overloaded with work but no one knows because they are hiding their stress exceptionally well

ISFJ: notices ISTJ’s stress anyway and pitches in to help out

INTP: does a bit of work before somehow ending up on Google, reading about atlantoaxial subluxation in Pomeranians

INFJ: actually trying to work, stressing over everything and ranting to themselves

INFP: doodling on whatever paper they can find, whatever helps pass the time so they can go home

INFJ: *IS THERE 100%, analyses everything, comes up with multiple solutions, provides emotional support and encouragement*

Person: *does literally nothing*

INFJ:

extroverts: https://imnottotallyaparadox.tumblr.com/post/176378312894/extroverts-as-cat-things

INTP: lying in exactly one spot for fourteen+ hours and then awakening and demanding all the food

INTJ: ignoring your existence until you’ve finally fallen asleep, and then kissing your face and purring loud

ISTP: hiding under your bed and pawing at your feet as you walk past and then ignoring you as if nothing happened

ISTJ: looking you dead in the eye and meowing as if you ought to know exactly what they’re saying, stupid human

INFP: sitting in your lap purring because they know they know how to make themselves the center of your attention

INFJ: purring and making you pet them while you’re crying because they know nobody can be sad while petting a cat

ISFP: figuring out how to open the cabinet and plastic packaging to eat the salmon

Some of these are funny but others are actually quite serious and I hope they’re just made up.

ENFJ: She skipped class to go skydiving and ended up landing on top of her friend

ENFP: They destroyed a tombstone because they were using it as the hurdle in a jumping contest

ENTJ: He did 1000 sit-ups in one night (in sets of 50, but still)

ENTP: Her house caught on fire while she was in it and she had to get therapy for the trauma after that but she just stopped going because she said therapy was annoying

ESFJ: If they went an entire class without talking the teacher said they could have a party so they put duct tape over their mouths

ESFP: He smoked a breadstick

ESTJ: They spent 85 hours working on one school project

ESTP: He had sex with a girl and it was normal right up until they finished but then she pulled out a journal and wrote under his full name: “A good experience. 8/10”

INFJ: His classmate drowned a squirrel and thought it was funny so he never talked to her again

INFP: She dated a 30-year-old who didn’t want anyone to know they were dating because it would “ruin his image” (which, MAJOR red flag right there)

INTJ: She woke up with a really bad nosebleed and there was so much blood her black shirt got stained red and her parents called the hospital and they were like “bring her in right now” but instead of going to the hospital she just went back to bed because she was tired

INTP: She had pet lobsters but they died because her grandma used a cockroach repellent

ISFJ: He drank apple juice out of a shoe because he was bored

ISFP: She married her turtle

ISTJ: They had to visit someone in the hospital but then they went exploring around the building and discovered the room where corpses are kept

contemplating doing these for all the seasons? idk just an idea if this gets enough notes i’ll continue probably

INTP: You are the cold snow that clings to your jacket as you go inside, melting into the air, into the normal environment, melting away.

INTJ: You are chapped lips and red noses, painful but recognizable and endearing.

ENTP: You are the yell of that child, standing up on their chair to point to the first snowflake of the year.

ENTJ: You are the constant, bitter wind, harsh head-on but calm when facing the other way, welcome after the hot winds of summer.

INFP: You are the warm tea that we wrap our hands around, different from the typical mochas and hot chocolates but still a familiar, welcome presence.

INFJ: You are the warmth of Christmas lights with the flashers off, calming and subtly illuminating.

ENFP: You are the snap of peppermint bark on our tongues, sweet and a little bit too strong.

ENFJ: You are the snowflakes caught on fingertips, noses and tongues.

ISTP: You are the chill of icicles stuck to our tongues, nostalgic and stinging.

ISFP: You are the marshmallow snowmen and the carefully, or not so carefully, decorated sugar cookies, made with love and gone in a moment.

ESTP: You are skiing through the mountains and the moment you begin to fall and you catch yourself, that extra breath you have to take, that shaky little smile.

ESFP: You are the holiday songs, hummed under breath, murmured in class, sung loudly and off-key on the playgrounds of elementary schools.

ISTJ: You are the snowballs hit square in children’s backs, brushed off of the coats of annoyed adults, that silent little triumph they have against their peers and elders.

ISFJ: You are the fragile moment when the first snowflake falls and one person notices, and for a few seconds it is their snowflake, their special little secret.

ESTJ: You are the smell of spruce and the sting of holly leaves that feels like a hidden tradition under your fingers.

ESFJ: You are the cheering of the children rushing out from school, grinning with delight and relief as they escape from their prison to go play.

INTP: Wow this person is really smart and funny and I like talking to them a lot… What do you mean, I have a crush? I do n- …oh fuck. 

ENTP: Trying way too hard to be funny around their crush

INTJ: Repress Repress Repress REPRESS

ENTJ: Essentially spams their crush with flirting and charisma, overwhelming their crush

ISTP: Goes through the various wikiHow articles on how to normal around their crush

ESTP: Relentlessly annoys their crush because if it works in the movies, it must be true

ISTJ: Has implemented a series of secret tests that their crush must pass before they decide if they are worthy

ESTJ: To avoid saying anything stupid, acts like their crush doesn’t exist 

INFP: Has planned out the rest of their lives together but left out the part where they actually manage to seduce the other person 

ENFP: It’s either: HI, I LOVE YOU,DO YOU LOVE ME? OKAY THANKS BYE; or: *awkward uncontrollable giggling*

INFJ: Tries their very best to talk and make jokes with their crush but ends up being the epitome of all things awkward

ENFJ: Well, at least I’m not overly obsessed with them… *sees their crush* OH MY WHAT A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN THEY ARE WONDERFUL I AM IN LOVE

ISFP: Draws a bunch of cute pictures of them with their crush (or just acts so awkward that people around them are cringing) 

ESFP: Becomes really hot and cold by flirting a lot but never actually making a move so they just end up confusing the heck out of the other person

ISFJ: Googles their crush’s name once, accidentally finds out where they live, and is afraid to creep them out so no flirting actually occurs

ESFJ: Flirts by touching and getting extra close

INFP: hey I don’t wanna see any more tears, you’ll get through this *hug*

ENFP: ice cream.

ISFP: just gets kind of awkward

ESFP: could possible mock you unless they relate to your problem, then they’ll give you advice and speak in a baby voice to you

ISTP: buys u something

ESTP: depending on their mood will help u out or make fun of u

INTP: will listen if you’re a close friend and will give you helpful advice but if in a bad mood will ignore u or call u dramatic

ENTP: You look sad. dont be sad

INTJ: *gasp* why aRe yOu cRYiNg?? Have some chocolate

ENTJ: *starts to tear up just coz you’re crying*

INFJ: will stay silent until they know exactly what to say, but has different responses for each individual, tailored to their needs

ENFJ: vibes that you’re sad, somehow knows why you’re sad, and will make you happy with an empathetic eye stare thingy

ISFJ: *awkward physical affection*

ESFJ: boo u perfect, no more tears

ISTJ: lol who should I kill

“i often worry about never finding love/not having any dating experience by now/friends abandoning me.”

ESFJ: Tell Us What You Want And We’ll Tell You What You Really Want

ESFP: Put On Some Makeup And We’ll Tell You What Kind Of Movie You’d Star In

ESTJ: Pick Some Seasonal Things And We’ll Guess Your Favorite Season

ESTP: Design An Extra AF Mansion And We’ll Tell You How You’ll Die

ENFJ: Buy Some New Clothes And We’ll Reveal Which 2018 Concert Tour You Should Buy Tickets For

ENFP: Eat Some Desserts And We’ll Give You A Hot Dude To Marry

ENTJ: Create A Makeup Look And We’ll Tell You What Job Matches Your Personality

ENTP: The Clothes You Pick Will Reveal Which Ex-Disney Star You’re Most Like

ISFJ: Everyone Has A Chocolate Bar That Matches Their Personality — Here’s Yours

ISFP: Pick A Rainbow Of Gems And We’ll Reveal Your True Birthstone

ISTJ: Your Choice Of Baked Goods Will Reveal Your Biggest Pet Peeve

ISTP: Build Your Dream House And We’ll Tell You What Your Family Will Look Like Five Years From Now

INFJ: Create A Movie And We’ll Give You A Netflix Original Series To Watch

INFP: How Old Is Your Soul Based On The Pint Of Ice Cream You Make?

INTJ: Tell Us Your Food Preferences And We’ll Reveal Which Vegetable Matches Your Personality

ENTP: Protea- curiosity and change

INTP: Hydrangea- heartlessness and honest emotions (paradoxically)

ENTJ: Hollyhock- ambition and fruitfulness

INTJ: Purple Iris- royalty and wisdom

ESTP: Sweet Pea- pleasure, appreciation and departure

ISTP: Bird of Paradise- freedom, magnificence and joy

ESTJ: Gladiolus- honour and integrity

ISTJ: Black-eyed Susan- justice and motivation

ENFJ: Blue/Purple and Red Hyacinth- Playfulness and dependability 

INFJ: Freesia- Trust and thoughtfulness

ENFP: Alstroemeria- friendship and devotion

INFP: Morning Glory- love and morality 

ESFJ: Larkspur- Positivity, dignity and fickleness

ISFJ: Zinnia- endurance, goodness and remembrance

ESFP: Bouvardia- enthusiasm, excitement and zest

ISFP: Marigold- creativity and passion

Some runner ups that were considered for multiple types that you can check out if you didn’t like your flower:

Anemone- Death and forsaken love 

 Carnations (purple)- Capriciousness and whimsicality 

 Chamomile- energy in adversity 

Chrysanthemum- Longevity, loyalty and honesty 

Goldenrod- encouragement, growth and good luck 

Heather- Solitude and protection 

Hyssop- Cleanliness and sacrifice 

Sunflower- happiness, loyalty and longevity 

 Lavender- refinement and elegance 

Pansy- Free thinking and consideration 

Rhododendron- Positivity and uniqueness but also caution 

Valerian- strength and readiness 

I did far too much research for this and now 99% of the ads I see on google are for flowers. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Also, please note that there are multiple meanings for all of these flowers, but I picked the ones that I thought were most fitting to the type. 

-INTP admin