In a mission against time
Maverick x afab!reader / Hangman x afab!reader
Warnings: Mentions of death and grief
A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, i hope you guys are having a great time and you spent the holidays doing what you loved, i sincerely hope that all of you have a wonderful year ahead. Side note, thanks for waiting for the new chapter, i have big things planned for later so stay tunned (i love you guys)
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Chapter 13: The death of an admiral
“I get it” you nod with a soft reassuring smile
“Forgiveness is a tricky thing but im sure you’ll both work your way up to it”
Bradley nodded but didn’t smile back, he just looked at the ground with a dazed look.
After your talk with Bradley the sun was already setting in the horizon but the two of you decided to go for a walk around the compound. The conversation and coyotes accident had left a heavy atmosphere between the two of you and you just wanted to make sure it dissipated before tomorrow. To tell the truth the mission felt like someone breathing down your neck and the last thing you needed was a tense vibe with the person you trusted the most with your life.
Between walking and talking the heavy fog of awkwardness was lifted and everything was back to normal, with a walking lap around the compound you made your way back to the rooms, you could see a smile tugging on Bradley's face and that made you feel ten times lighter, you heard Rooster cut himself off and the two of you were stopped dead on your tracks when you saw the topic that caused the tense moment in the first place just standing there, looking at the ground with his hands on his hips.
A furrowed brow made its way onto your face, had something happened to coyote? You looked up at rooster only to find him with the same expression. For a moment the only sound was the wind rustling the trees around the base, you saw Maverick lift his head and look in your direction, it was almost like he had a sixth sense to tell him the two of you were there.
There was a sinking feeling in your heart when you noticed the shining in his eyes, unshed tears and grief that looked too heavy for him to carry on his own.
Despite Bradley saying he hadn't worked up to forgiveness yet he walked to Maverick before you could.
“Maverick?” Bradley's voice was confused and worry embedded itself in his words despite the reservation Rooster had with the older man.
Your feet stayed planted on the ground too afraid to hear a friend was gone, you started wondering what this meant for the team, had Jake already heard about the news?
“Is javy ok?” You finally move and walk up to them, staying just a little behind Bradley.
Maverick took a deep breath before wiping his unshed tears with the back of his hand, his lips pursed a little “Machado is fine…”
He then looked at rooster and his jaw clenched “Can we talk for a second ?” you could notice he was trying to be strong and for a moment you felt out of place, While you were relieved coyote was fine this just meant it was a family thing and you were getting worried again.
Regardless of your feelings you just gave Maverick a silent but reassuring nod and you put your hand on rooster's shoulder to quietly tell him you were leaving to give them some privacy but he surprised you before you even took a step back.
“You can talk in front of her” His shoulders were tense and your eyes went from him to maverick again silently asking him if it was ok, you didn't know why but he looked relieved, he looked less tense as he walked towards Bradley and you by extension.
He stood still for a moment in front of the two of you before talking
“I just got a call from Sarah… Ice passed a few hours ago”
Your mind went blank and you felt bradley deflate on the spot, you couldn't see his face but you guessed it mirrored mavericks distressed one.
“What?… how?” Bradley's voice was weak and a bit disoriented, he shook his head. “He said he was fine when we texted”
Maverick sighed and just shook his head solemnly “He never wanted people to know about how bad he was getting, he was still in active duty and I didn't even know much about his condition until I visited him the other day”
Bradley just nodded and looked down at the ground, after a moment of silence and without saying anything else he turned around and walked away, you clenched your jaw but refrain from calling out to him, you knew he needed to be alone and work things out by himself this time, grief was a weird thing.
You turned to look at Maverick and saw him trying to hold it together, your heart broke and you instinctively moved to him, you hugged him tenderly and after a moment of what felt like hesitation he buried his face into your neck and held you tight, it didn't bother you.
“I'm sorry for your loss pete” you whispered softly and let him hold you tight, as wrong as things may be right now this felt right, natural even.
His arms tightened just a little and the two of you stayed like that for just a bit longer, after a few minutes you let him go and gave him a kind look, you reassuringly patted his arm and left following Bradley.
The wind was still slightly rustling the leaves as you finally caught up to Bradley and the two of you walked in silence, your heart was beating a little fast, you still felt mavericks breath on your neck. Once both of you made it to the accommodations, Rooster just walked pass you to his dorm before you could even say a word. You were worried for him, worried for Maverick but with a sigh you made it to your room, your walk felt sluggish and your head a little heavy as you finally closed your door behind you, within a few steps you plopped down on your bed. You had never met admiral Kasanski, never once interacted with him but you knew how much he meant to both rooster and Maverick.
You felt bad for them, Maverick had lost another friend and Bradley another person he considered family. Despite all the lingering worry you closed your eyes and you started to fall asleep, the quiet of the room and the hard day ahead lulling you to rest.
The dark in the room was the only indication that it was still pretty late when you heard a knock on your door, a very distinct one, you knew who it was, he didn’t need to say a word “Come in” you said softly as if not wanting to spook the man behind the door.
Bradley came in, he had freshed up and silently made his way to your bed, you sat up and moved a bit to the side to give him space to sit down next to you, the room remained silent as you put a hand gently over his. Sitting down side by side, with your hand reassuringly over his seemed to be the drop that ripped the dam in half, he let out a broken sob you've never heard before and prayed that you never did again, your body moved on its own and you just simply hugged him. He held you tight as he buried his face in your neck, sobs wracked his body and you only rubbed his back and reassured him
“Its ok Bradley, let it go, im here”
He stayed for a while after that with neither of you saying a word, neither of you really needed to, Bradley's sobs quietly became sniffles and then just peaceful silence, when bradley left half way through the night you finally let rest take you, in the morning you woke before the sirens and took a shower, as the water cascaded over your shoulders you felt yourself take a deep breath.
The moment the alarms started blearing signaling a new morning you were already up and ready, you knew admiral Kasansky was a big figure in the navy so you assumed training would be at least held off for today, not to mention your instructor's direct connection to the man. You wondered how Maverick was holding up, you were there for Bradley and would always be… but as far as you knew Maverick had no one like that and for a second you wished you could be that person for him.
You made your way out of your room and waited for Bradley, you weren't really in the mood for leaving your best friend alone today. After a few minutes Rooster made his way out of his room but he was not surprised to see you out, you sidehugged him and the both of you walked to the cafeteria, it seemed almost obvious that the news of the admiral's death had already spread through the base each room you walked pass had a lingering feeling of respectful grief.
Grabbing your tray and sitting down with bradley to your side you felt some eyes linger and were proven right when you saw Phoenix and Bob make their way to the table the two of you sat at, they sat down with a quiet good morning and ate in silence, Natasha was shooting subtle looks at Bradley trying to check his reaction but said nothing and you thought that might be for the better.
After Breakfast all of the team were directed to the briefing room, to your surprise Admiral Simpson was already waiting for all of you and Maverick was nowhere to be found, walking into the room you saluted and sat down, you noticed Bob, Phoenix and Rooster stay behind for a while and overheard the words “sorry for your loss” in hushed and respectful whispers. Before long the whole team made it to the room and Rooster sat by your side.
Cyclone stood in front of the room and informed the team of Iceman's passing. He mentioned a ceremony and explained that training would be postponed for the day.
“It was Admirals Kasansky's will that the team were to attend the burial”
You blinked a little in confusion at the announcement, while not surprised that today's training was being postponed, what did shock you was the invitation to the funeral, you knew a lot of people would be there and it was a given Bradley would be attending, you just weren't sure why the whole team was invited.
The meeting ended and there was still no sign of Maverick, you felt a little worried but thought it best not to mention it to Rooster, you sighed as the team was dismissed and Cyclone ordered for all who would be attending the funeral to be presentable by mid day. You rubbed your face and stood up following rooster, then both of you turned around when you heard Hangman's voice calling for Bradley.
“Rooster” you tensed a moment before meeting Jake's eyes, you could see his jaw clenching slightly but when he met your eyes he was almost pleading for you to trust him, the conversation you had with him at the hard deck that night still present in your mind, Jake was going to apologize you were sure of it.
Bradley looked down at you for guidance, almost asking what he should do but you put a hand on his shoulder and walked away, you had already received Jake's apology anyways. As you walked to the dorms you could hear Hangman's words clearly in your mind.
“I know what people say about me, what people think, I’m not an idiot. What they think has never bothered me before but… I don’t want you to think that way about me”
You huffed and felt a slight blush come to your cheeks… shaking your head slightly you patted your face with your hands, this was not the time to think about stuff like that. You stopped walking and decided to stay and wait for Bradley before your feet moved on their own accord to look for Maverick, leaning back onto a wall you closed your eyes and sighed, it just felt like you needed to pull yourself together.
It was only a few minutes later you heard footsteps coming your way and you opened your eyes to see Rooster coming your way, without a word the two of you started walking. You side eyed Bradley for a little bit before you spoke up.
“So? What happened?” your voice was curious if a little wary, you were hoping your assumptions about hangman apologizing were right.
He walked by your side and just shrugged without looking at you.
You felt a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips and you nodded, you didn't pry any further, you didn't feel the need to.
“Im still not convinced on him not being an asshole” Bradley commented
“Dont blame you, he's done shitty things” You agreed with bradley, you had already said that you didnt think jake was a bad person but an apology is not enough to erase the sins of the past.
You looked around as you got to the accommodations hoping you'd get to see a glimpse of Maverick, not seeing him the whole day was starting to be a little weird… I mean you've seen the man for a week straight at this point.
“Yeah?” you turn to look at rooster
“I asked if you're riding with me to the funeral”
Oh, you hadn't heard him talking, to be honest your mind was feeling a little crowded, jakes words and… maverick just maverick, there was something there you weren't able to fully place.
“Yeah… um- im riding with you” you nodded and gave him a tight smile
Bradley nodded but frowned a little “Are you ok?”
You sighed and scratched the back of your head. “I… I don't know man… I just feel like I should be the one asking you that”
He exhaled and made his way back to you
“You can talk to me, you know?” He put a hand on your shoulder looking at your worried face.
“I know, just… maybe later” You changed your frown for a soft smile and patted his hand before making your way to your room.
You felt Bradley's confused gaze on you but you decided to ignore it, the room was still dark and as you closed the door you didn't bother turning on the lights. You made the way to your bed and sat down, these last few days you've felt your head a mess, the mission was obviously taking most of your time and there was so much happening you haven't had a moment to actually take everything in.
“I know what people say about me, what people think, I’m not an idiot. What they think has never bothered me before but… I don’t want you to think that way about me”
Jake's words repeated themselves over and over in your head, Jesus, was that a confession? I mean he's always been flirty, everyone knows that… but why did it feel… different that time, like he meant it?
You plop back onto the bed
“You can talk to me, you know?” you recall as a warm hand landed on your shoulder
You tsk and close your eyes. No, no you couldn't and especially not right now, you took a deep breath and a face flashed through your closed eyes, black sunglasses and a sunset, the taste of your favorite beer on your tongue and you turned to lay on your side.
Were you going insane? Your best friend's uncle?
Groaning you cover your face with your hands
Maverick… he acted weird since the day you two met, you couldn't blame him, if roosters childhood pictures served you memory correctly you looked just like her… just like Mavericks…
Burning your face to the pillow his face appeared in your mind again, soft eyes full of tears. You couldn't blame him and you really couldn't blame yourself, the man was handsome… and tender… and funny.
You just wanted to get this whole thing overwith, end the mission, come back alive and take a month off. You stayed in bed for like five more minutes before deciding to put yourself together for the funeral, you dressed yourself with the dress blue navy uniform and did your makeup for the event.
A knock on your door pulled you out of your quiet bubble and you finished what you were doing before tidying everything up before leaving the room. Once you opened the door you were not surprised to see your best friend ready to leave, his uniform the same as yours.
The both of you walked to the parking lot but you felt that rooster just wanted to say something
“Yeah?” you hummed as you walked and he looked down at you
“Do you feel better?” he asked quietly
“Yeah, better” liar, but you didn't want to get into the whole thing so you settled for the short answer despite knowing he knew better.
You made it to the car and Bradley opened your door, you felt yourself smile as you got in and sat shotgun, Rooster had a satisfied smile on his face as he finally sat on the driver seat, he turned on the radio and he made his way to the cemetery.
Once you got there you got out, there was already a considerable amount of people there, you looked around and saw a few faces you recognized from base like Warlock and Cyclone, Bradley tugged on your sleeve and you followed him to a group of people dressed in all black, you saw an older woman hugging a man and then turn to look at rooster.
“Bradley” she said with a wobbly voice and a soft smile
Rooster smiled and looked at the woman, she tenderly held his face and then hugged him
“Thank you for coming” you heard her whisper
You decided to look away and that's when you saw Maverick looking back at you, with a nod you acknowledged his presence and he did the same.
“Im sorry for your loss Sarah” Bradley said carefully
You turn to look at them and you remember Maverick mentioning the name Sarah yesterday, she must be Admiral Kasansky's widow. She smiled tearfully and turned to look at you, she seemed to stop dead in her tracks and you gave her a small nod… god did she know Rooster's aunt?
Bradley cleared his throat and looked at you. “Sarah, this is y/n, she's my best friend”
She blinked confused and looked you up and down almost in a daze, yup she definitely knew the rooster's aunt.
“It's a pleasure ma'am, I'm sorry for your loss” you said solemnly.
The ceremony was about to begin so you and Bradley said your final condolences and made your way to your places next to the rest of the team. You stood in formation next to your best friend as the funeral moved through the motions, you could feel some eyes on you but couldn't identify where the looks were coming from. Planes flew over your head and you kept your eyes steady at one point in the horizon just like you'd seen your best friend do.
The place was solemn and you could see the admiral's widow take the american flag cyclone had given her.
Maverick was standing at the coffin's feet before he took a step forward and pressed his wings to the coffin, your heart broke at tears threatening to spill off his face and your expression softened, you couldn't even imagine the pain of losing someone you loved so dearly.
Maverick heard someone clearing their throat, his eyes moving from your face to the source of the noise, he smiled internally when he saw Bradley standing there with an unamused look on his face, Maverick was already feeling better, you had cheered him up, you made him feel lighter and while he looked at rooster he was reminded of a similar expression he used to make as a kid when people took your attention away, a pouty lip and crossed arms over his chest, you used to spoil him so much…
He felt a loss when you patted his arm as a goodbye.
“It's not your fault, ok?” you said kindly, you looked so sure of what you were saying that he was starting to believe it, he nodded and saw the two of you walk away.
Cyclone wanted a report from the bird strike incident so he thought it best to go to his room and start it, tomorrow would be a training day and he would have little time to do so, he decided to take the long way to the rooms, as he walked he started to feel more calm, the wind moving the trees created an enjoyable white noise and before he noticed he had made his way back to his room, he closed the door and sat on his desk. Opening his laptop he started filling the report when he heard his phone ring.
He frowned a little when he saw Sarah's name pop up on the caller ID, he stood up from his chair
“Sarah… to what do I owe the pleasure” he tried to push his gut feeling down but he knew something wasn't right, he started to walk around the room a little anxious.
“Maverick” Sarah's voice was wobbly and almost a whisper
His gut feeling was getting worse, he stayed quiet on the line to let her continue even though he didn't really want her to.
He stood still, almost like his feet had been glued to the floor
“We had to take him to the ER a few hours ago but…” Sarah sobbed on the other side of the line, unable to finish her sentence.
He stayed silent for a second before covering his face with his hand
The conversation moved along for a little bit but he wasn't fully there, words seemed to flow out of his mouth but he didn't really understand what he was saying, she told him they'd do the ceremony tomorrow mid afternoon and then, the conversation was over, he turned off his phone.
He had to sit down and he made his way to his bed, he felt like a part of him just left his body, he covered his face with his hands as he tried to process that he had just lost his other best friend, the first experience didn't make this one any easier and he just let the tears slip from his eyes, he hadn't cried in a while.
After a few moments he decided that he needed to pick himself up and he knew what he had to do, he wiped the tears off his face, if anyone appreciated iceman like he did was Bradley and even if Maverick and Rooster weren't on friendly terms Bradley still kept in contact with his uncle ice, after all that's how Maverick got most of his updates.
With a deep breath he stood up and made his way out of his room, the wind hit his face and he had to take a moment, he had his hands on his hips before he felt someone behind him.
He turned around to see you and rooster standing there with confused looks on your faces, he had to hold himself back before he made his way to you and just buried his face in your chest to look for comfort.
“Maverick?” Bradley spoke up, he could see the kids frown worsening as he made his way towards him
He felt himself swallow as he looked at his nephew, he didn't know how he would break the news to him, the loss of someone he loved… he remembered the first time.
You finally spoke up and made your way to him behind Bradley
“Is javy ok?” your voice was soft but worried
He looked down and took a deep breath, trying to keep things together “Machado is fine…” thats all he managed to say about that, he finally looked at rooster again and he felt his jaw tightened
“Can we talk for a second ?” he asked the younger pilot.
He asked Bradley if they could talk for a second, the alone part was implied but he really didn't want to to this alone, he was tired of doing things alone, he needed you there when he delivered the news, otherwise he felt like he would have no strength to even stand up straight but the last thing he wanted to do was cause trouble with Bradley.
“You can talk in front of her” Bradley's voice was weary, he noticed that, but it didn't matter at all he was glad you'd be staying there.
“I just got a call from Sarah… Ice passed a few hours ago”
There was a silence in between the three of you
“What?… how?” Bradley's voice was weak and a bit disoriented, he shook his head. “He said he was fine when we texted”
Maverick sighed and just shook his head “He never wanted people to know about how bad he was getting, he was still in active duty and I didn't even know much about his condition until I visited him the other day”
He saw his nephew nod and stay quiet for a moment before turning around and leaving, he saw you looking at rooster as he left. He felt his throat close up when you finally turned to face him. Your soft eyes full of kindness made him want to drop to his knees and beg you to stay with him, but to his utter disbelief that was not necessary as you walked towards him and hugged him.
After a second of shock he returned your hug, he could still see Bradley walking away, he knew his kid, he knew he was trying to be strong, to put on a brave face but he couldnt… not when you hugged him so tenderly.
Maverick couldn't help but feel the need for you in that moment, the need of your comfort, to simply hold you tight and for you to whisper that everything was going to be alright just like you used to.
“Im sorry for your loss Pete”
He felt his arms tighten around you and he rested his forehead on your shoulder, god he missed this feeling, he missed feeling loved by you even if it was in the simplest ways possible.
“Its ok mav… ive got you … no matter what”
The day goose died he felt miserable, a twist in his heart he hadn't felt since his mother passed away but you were there, holding him like he was made of glass, just like you were doing now. He felt you pulling away and he didn't want to let go but he forced himself to do so. You move away from him and gently tap his arm before following after Bradley.
He made his way to his room and sat back down on his bed, another friend gone and he couldn't help but to start feeling hopeless, his relationship with Bradley was barely getting better, things with you felt like they hadn't made any progress and the mission was still in a week and there was still so much training to cover if he wanted the pilots he was sending to come back.
He didn't know for how long he was sitting there spiraling but he was brought back when he heard a knock on his door. He wanted it to be you but he knew that just wouldn't be, he was half tempted to not answer but the knock was insistent.
Opening the door he saw Warlock standing there with a solemn look on his face, Maverick wiped the stray tears from his eyes before nodding.
“Im sorry for your loss captain” the Rear Admiral said
A weak thank you was all he was able to muster before Warlock told him that training tomorrow would be pushed back because of the ceremony.
“I can still teach” Maverick started to argue but Warlock interrupted him
“Im sure you still can Captain but the teams presence is required at the funeral”
Warlock seemed to notice mavericks confusion
“Admirals Kasansky's wishes”
Maverick just nodded and after a few more words the interaction ended, what last plan did Ice had up his sleeve? That night was restless, trying to fall asleep was useless as half of the time he seemed to end up looking at the ceiling, only when the sun poured from the outside was he able to rest, he skipped breakfast in favor of sleep, to be truthful he didn't have any appetite.
Maverick got himself ready after 8 and left for the cemetery where the ceremony would be taking place, the wind on his hair as he rode his bike was a welcome distraction of the pain in his heart. Once he got to the cemetery he could already see people there but not from the team, not yours or roosters yet.
Sarah made her way to Maverick as soon as he arrived, he tried to promise himself that he would be strong through the process but his heart felt too heavy to hide. He hugged her, and they stayed embraced for a little bit before pulling away.
“How are you holding up?” he said in a soft voice
She smiled sadly and shrugged without any strength. She looked down and took a deep breath. From her bag he saw her pull out an envelope and hand it to him. He received it with a slight frown, she looked up to him again.
“He told me this was for you, he spent a long time writing it”
Pete nodded and admired at the envelope on his hands, he turned it over and saw
He traced his finger over Tom's handwriting and huffed a small and sad laugh, even in death Tom was not letting it go.
“Thank you Sarah” he said softly, she just nodded and they both moved closer to the rest of Iceman's family, his children and grandchildren. As more people start to come in he moves to say hello to a few familiar faces. He looked at his phone when it vibrated, he hadn't seen that name in a while. Robert “Anchor” Hughes, your back seater.
“Im sorry for your loss Mav”
His attention was pulled away from his phone when he saw the rest of the team arrive, he put his phone on his pocket and promised to himself that he would respond later, He saw you and bradley say hello to Sarah, you looked at him and gave him a nod of acknowledgement and he responded correspondingly. After everyone took their places he made eye contact with Sarah who gave him a dazed and confused look, he could only assume it was because of you but he couldn't get into details so he just moved his head and shrugged.
The funeral was a blur to him, the sound of gunshots and plane engines the only thing keeping him grounded, once the moment came up where he had to press his wings to Tom's coffin he had tears in his eyes again.
Once the ceremony was over he sat on the bench near the graves and opened the envelope, the sun was setting and the wind seemed to carry the ocean breeze, Ices handwriting was as neat as always, it was a letter dated a few days ago.
“Hello Pete, I know I don't have much left and to be truthful I'm ok with that, I have no regrets and I'm thankful for the things I've accomplished, I trust you to help Sarah if she ever needs it, she's strong but even when you're strong you need someone, and i hope you can learn that too.
I've always thought of you as a great man, a great man with irresponsible ideas, but that never stopped you from becoming one of my best friends and brothers. Ever since we met that day in 86 ive thought of you as a man with too much confidence but I've come to respect you for that.
I trust you'll make the right calls and put your trust in the team you are training, I didn't just put you on the mission to save you, I put you on it so you could safe them, You are one of the most skilled pilots ive ever met so never doubt your capabilities and your ability to teach them.
I'm sure Bradley would come on his own will to the funeral, or at least I would hope so, but I requested for the team to assist because of two reasons, I know the kid will need a shoulder to rely on and I understand that for now it won't be you so it can be her. You said he didn't want what you had to offer, but I disagree, he's just hurt and too stubborn for his own good. He got that from Carol, I'm sure that with time and effort you'll both be able to mend the bridges between you.
As for the second reason, while I was not able to see (y/n) again while I was still alive, I want to be able to stay long enough to catch a glimpse of her before I leave. If you ever do get the chance, please tell her I missed her, or simply that I would've loved to meet her again.
Things always work out in the way that they are supposed to, I hope that one day I can meet with all of you again, I'll be sure to say hello to goose for you when I see him.”
Alright peeps uhh yeah, lets write some f’s in the chat for admiral kasansky, (an awful event you'll have to live twice) HUH?? WHO SAID THAT?
