All my soul within me burning

About a year after the Pevensies are made Kings and Queens, before they have earned the titles of Magnificent, Gentle, Just, and Valiant. Back when it's just High King Peter of the Northern Sky, Wolfsbane, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, when it's just Queen Susan of the radiant Southern Sun, King Edmund, Duke of Lantern Waste, of the Western Woods, Queen Lucy, of the Eastern Sea.

Having heard the story of how the once barren, cold land of Narnia ruled by a queen of ice, is now fruitful, beautiful, ruled by two kings and two queens, the Tisroc sends ambassadors to see what this new Narnia is like.

And when these ambassadors find that this bountiful land is ruled by children, they smirk to themselves and bow before King Peter's throne mockingly.

They have no knowledge of the battle that was fought for Narnia's freedom. They know nothing of what the magical air of Narnia does to a person. They look up at the High King, who, while he is still so clearly a boy, is looking down at them from his golden throne with such an air of authority that the ambassadors must look away.

They turn to Queen Susan, back straight, hair braided, hands resting on the arms of her throne. She is more beautiful than anything any of them have ever seen. She looks down at them, and they do not see a silly little girl playing princess. They see a Queen, who sees right through them. They perceive the archery crest embroidered on her dress and know that while a woman, she is a warrior. And they look away.

Their eyes fall upon the King Edmund, younger and darker than his brother, not so golden and splendid and glorious, but quiet, intelligent, and sharp as a knife. He smirks at them, a smile not showing his teeth and only tugging up one corner of his mouth, but behind that smirk they know that he understands the minds of traitors. They know that while the High King senses their plots, King Edmund sees their hearts for what they truly are. None of them hold eye contact for long.

And, finally, they look upon the Queen Lucy, youngest of all, her crown barely staying on her head. She watches them closely and smiles. Oh, that smile. A child's and a woman's, all in one. This is a girl who has seen death. This is a woman who has walked in the mud and blood of a battle and raised her people up. Here is a girl whose wrath will not be stirred easily, but Aslan help the man who plots to rob her of her family. One of her hands absently rubs the dagger on her belt as she looks down at those Calormen ambassadors.

They look up at these children who have seen betrayal, death, forgiveness, blood, battle, and hope and emerged on top. These Kings and Queens, who know what it is to fight and are not afraid to do it.

DISCLAIMER

I understand that this deity may hold a negative context to different people/cultures(i.e. people of Jewish culture)/faiths etc. Please be respectful and mindful. Both the people and the divinity have the right to respect. Just because a divinity/entity has been the best thing in the world to you, doesn’t mean that’s the case for someone else(vice versa). Thank you for your consideration.

Mother Lilith is a divinity that I hold very dear. She has been a big help to me and has guided me in my journery of self love and reparenting myself.

Lore/mythology (briefly summarized)

Lilith originally was the first wife of Adam; made from the same primordial matter as her counterpart by the one who created her. She has left the garden in anger because she refused to lay under Adam; Lilith wanted to be seen as Adams equal but he refused. God sent angels to take Lilith back to Eden at Adam’s request. She was located near/in/at the Red Sea. Her children had been slain because of her refusal to return. ( I have heard conflicting info from different sources but I’ll recall what I think is to be more accurate at this point). Some of the fallen angels (a big figure being Lord Lucifer) had made themselves acquainted with her and they had gained each others’ trust. This is the point where Lilith had became a demon and was at least set on the path to becoming a highly ranked Infernal deity(if not at this point already). Lilith at some point after this whispered empowering thoughts into Eve during her dreams; leading her to eat the fruit.

Lilith also has an aspect tied to the Mesopotamian demon Lilitu.

Signs/Symbols of Queen Lilith(some i’ve personally experienced as well):

Snake imagery

Birds( robins, cardinals, blue jays, doves, owls or any corvid/black bird) I’d like to mention that she left me a robin who had passed, cause she knew I’d give it a proper burial.

Witnessing any of her other sacred animals (mentioned below) or frequently seeing imagery of them

Me and other devotees of hers have known her to send really animal that’s black as signs

rose imagery

sudden interest in her

sudden yearning desire to explore oneself/identity

speaking up/ standing up for yourself in circumstances in which you normally wouldn’t

for uterus owners; in my personal experience she had gotten terribly frustrated that i wasn’t noticing her so she started affecting my ‘moon cycle’. I experienced irregularities, increased pain and moodiness. I also got much more fatigued during my time of the month in the time she was trying to get my attention. She may or may not feel the need to do something of this fashion to get your attention; My only assumption that she did so in my case is because I was extremely oblivious. However I highly implore you discuss things with your doctor before concluding that this is the cause.

You may notice the wind howling louder

Vampiric/Succubus imagery/energy

Draconic and/or primordial energy

Energy of water or the ocean

Feeling of not necessarily one certain element (maybe all of them together)

feelings of a motherly energy

dreams/visions of red or dark haired woman( i’ve honestly had her appear to me as blonde). She may be a witch, possibly a queen. She could be protecting you during the experience ( if you’re on her good side ofc)

Sacred animals of Queen Lilith

Snakes

Dragons

Hyenas

Cats of various kinds ( domestic, wild, especially with black or dark coats)

Ostriches

Spiders

Unicorns

Owls

Goats

Bats

What does Queen Lilith specialize in? What can she help you with?

taking back your power

shadow work ( specifically the feminine side of the side)

tapping into/ welcoming your dark feminine energy

welcoming dark femme energy into your life

dark femme workings

defends women/femmes and children who’ve suffered abuse(especially s3xually)

Improving sexual relationships

asserting independence

support in women/womxn’s/femmes rights

fighting oppression/sexisim placed on women/fem identifying people by the patriarchy(or in general)

assistance in gaining respect and/or recognition for contributions

exploring/awakening sexuality (especially if you need assistance with you libido)

sex magic ( more specifically feminine dominance)

Assistance with menstrual magic/spells/rituals

Help in any women/female health issues ( menstrual issues, moods swings, feritility, MtF/FtM etc.)

( i recommend you be treated by a medical professional along with the last point; mundane before magical; magic/spirituality shouldn’t be used in place of medical treatment, simply as support.)

Correspondences/ Offerings

Herbs/Plants/Scents:

Belladonna (POISONOUS)

Nightshade (POISONOUS)

Mugwort ( still use with caution)

Sandalwood(Red + White)

Patchouli

Rose

Jasmine

Lotus

Dragon’s Blood

Cinnamon

Olibanum

Camphor

Myrrh

Jasmine

Frankincense

Amber

Saffron

Crystals:

Onyx

Fire opal

Diamond

Ruby

Obsidian

Topaz

Red Jasper

Red Carnelian

Black Moonstone

Black tourmaline

Jet

Garnet

Clear quartz

Food/Drink:

Chocolate ( Especially anything Dark and/or spicy )

Lime

Pumpkins/ Gourds(idk if gourds are edible tho, but to a deity it doesn’t matter lmao)

Red velvet sweets

Chocolate cake

In my personal experience, she loved these Sriracha Peanut Butter Chocolate Cupcakes I used to be able to get.

Spicy foods

Apples

Pomegranates/Pomegranate juice

Colors:

Black

Reds (Especially blood red or velvet tone)

Purple

Orange

Gold

Magenta

Dark pink

Silver

Dark Grey

Time/Days:

Wednesday

Friday

Witching hour (either Midnight or anytime 3-4 am)

Dark/New Moon phase

Beltane Sabbat/May Day ( sexual theme of the holiday)

Oct. 24 ( some sources claim this is the day Lilith left Eden)

Feb 29 (on leap year. Woman are known to break traditional norms during this time)

Miscellaneous:

Empress (Tarot)

High Priestess (Tarot)

Moon ( Tarot)

Strength (Tarot)

Any Queen Card ( More Specifically to my UPG, Swords and Wands suits)

Air and Fire are her main elements. However, she does not limit herself to one specific element, she has traits of all.

Vampiric/Succubus energy

Draconic/Primordial Energy

What is she like?

To me, Lilith is very much like a mother. Im sure you could probably guess by how I addressed her in the beginning of this post( which I call her Mother Lilith for personal reasons). She very much holds the energy of a firm mother who cares very much for her children. Lilith is very much stern when she feels the need, but knows when you need her to be gentle. Many times she has been a source of comfort and encouragement for me. If you show her the decency and respect she deserves, she will give it to you in return. If she sees you as her child (or holds you dear in anyway) she will go to distant lengths to protect you or to show your abusers not to mess with you again ( at times on her own accord). There are times where she made things difficult for people who wronged me on her own(probably a lot more I don’t know about). Mother Lilith is extremely supportive and will be there when needed, but she will not coddle you. She will not baby you. I see a lot of practitioners say “ she wont hold your hand” that’s true in a sense. Yes there are things you need to face alone, but a mother wont deny holding your hand if needed, she just wont do things for you. She will empower you to do things with independence. Lilith is definitely the kind of mentor to give you a rude wake up call when you’re not acting like yourself or doing things that wont benefit yourself or others. She is not afraid to be mean and wicked with you if need be.

Lilith’s energy generally feels airy and fiery. She carries herself regally and a sense of pride. Like i’ve mentioned, she doesn’t necessarily tie herself to one element, I’ve felt energy of all elements come from her, I assume this comes from her shapeshifting nature.

Sources and links

My own personal experience and UPG

Lilith Queen of the Night

Lilith and Witchcraft

Lilith: The Demonic Paradise Wiki

Lilith ( Occult world entry)

Tumblr users entry on Queen Lilith (i’ve honestly had a rocky history with the author of this post, I hadn’t realized who this was until after I recorded the information, but I still am going to give them credit where it’s due because it’s only right and their post gives solid information)

https://occult-world.com/lilith/

Mood..

Ask the Bitches: “I Just Turned 18 and My Parents Are Kicking Me Out. How Do I Brace Myself?”

Relationships, friendships. People who once meant everything to you, you can’t recall their names anymore. People you only casually knew during a period of trauma can fade from your mind completely. You can’t remember what you said to someone, what conversations you had together, even the fights and the lows, it all becomes a blur, and then completely fades away.

Your life is sorted into periods of whatever trauma was going on at the moment, but you can’t recall what else took place. What you learned, what experiences you had, the normal things you did that later feel bizzare for a person in your situation to do, to be able to do. Or you don’t remember the trauma, and it’s difficult to put things into any kind of context.

And for your childhood, it’s impossible to make a timeline out of it. Events mesh together, there’s no before or after, to link an event to a year is almost impossible, for any event you can’t tell if you were 5 or 8 or 14, you try and make sense based on what else was going on in your life, except you can’t quite remember what it was. You lived one life at home, a whole another life in school or public space, another one online, and they don’t seem to be connected at any point, and to link it all in a timeline feels impossible.

The memories that don’t hold strong emotions fade first, but eventually, the ones with strong emotions fade too.

Your short term memory becomes difficult as well, it feels like an incredible strain to remember anything you did 2 weeks ago, or 2 days ago, or yesterday. If you’re reminded of something that went on a year ago, it’s a shock because you no longer remember it as something that happened at all. Your brain erases anything that ended as something that never happened, or isn’t worth recalling, or would only stress you out to think about, so you don’t, and it goes away.

Resources

Giving you food and clothing is the bare minimum

You don’t owe gratitude for food and clothes you needed as a child

You had the right for basic resources

Parents shaming you for costing money is ironic and stupid

What it means when they say ‘This is MY house’

My house = my rules is blackmail

Children don’t owe absolute obedience for being fed and sheltered

Physical abuse

You are allowed to refuse any touch, not only violence

If they ‘don’t know they’re hurting you’, why do they ignore or punish you when you protest?

Hitting children is irrational and doesn’t work

You cannot ‘provoke’ your parents to abuse you if they’re not abusive

Why do parents actually hit, manipulate and traumatize children

Blatant Lies

Care, nurture and affection do not make you weak

They’re lying when they say it ‘wasn’t that bad’‘

You wouldn’t have grown up spoiled if not for abuse

You got too affected by it’ is a lie

Your parents are not ‘just too emotionally immature’ to understand abuse

‘You’re not living in the real world!’ is nonsense

You’re not worthless, a burden, ungrateful, or stupid, and your parents know that.

Constant undermining of your accomplishments is abuse

Not being allowed to talk about the past is symptom of abuse

Parents who want you to be happy vs look happy

You are not abusive for resisting abuse

When they claim ‘they didn’t mean it’, it’s still abuse

Your parents are responsible for their own actions regardless of how badly they try to shift blame on you

Psychological abuse

Blind Obedience is not required in a healthy upbringing

Disgust is a weapon abusive parents use on their kids

If they say they love you, but walk all over your feelings, they don’t 

Parents don’t have the right to enter your room to scream at you

Parents insisting for you to be ‘tough’ are doing it to hide the trauma

Even if a kid acts like ‘they can take it’, it’s still abuse

Pretending abuse is discipline will leave children permanently scarred

It’s inhumane to control and shame children’s reactions to abuse

Why don’t you already know this? vs Teaching you necessary skills

Acting like they’ll change is escape sabotage

Parents are responsible for protecting children from harm

References to how healthy parenting looks like

Not being allowed to be angry with your parents is psychological abuse

If parents want you to act way you did when you were little, they’re dangerous

Threats about how hard your life will be later on, are bad for you

Lack of continuity and ever-changing rules will cause anxiety

Forced obedience will lead you to abusive relationships

Parents acting like you’re a ‘bad’ is a shame tactic to control you

There’s healthy and abusive ways to give children chores

Revisioning the past and insisting you remember it wrong is gaslighting

If your parents make you suicidal, they’re abusive

Parents threatening ‘they could be worse’ is abuse

Always assuming the worst intentions for your actions is wrong

Keeping children hostage in abuse is torture

SMACS 0723

southern ring nebula

carina nebula (NGC 3324)

stephan's quintet