alien's english blog

RATIONALE The following text is meant to be a speculative entry in Christopher’s diary, written in 1st person to imitate the character’s writing style. I chose to compose a text by Christopher because I wanted to think of how his situation might be after taking the exam. Therefore, I decided to create an hypothetical entry written by him, which takes place after the last chapter of the novel. I wanted to do my best to convey his personality and feelings, so the audience for this text is Christopher himself. The register is formal, since he always writes in a very analytical way. CHRISTOPHER’S 73RD DIARY ENTRY ‘’ It is 8:59 P.M. Since I like the number 59, I have decided to start writing this entry at this time. Yesterday, I did not do good at the exam. I could not focus on the questions, which leads me to think I answered some of them incorrectly. I do not like that thought, almost as much as I dislike being touched. I also was very tired because I had not slept the day before. Mother said I just had many things running in my head at that moment. What does that mean? Did she mean my thoughts have legs, which helps them run in my mind? Today, I finished the second part of the test exactly 11 minutes ago. I am much more confident with the results I got today. It is probably because I slept off my worries, like Mother says. I have not gone to sleep yet because I heard a rumbling noise outside which bothered me, as it was very loud. When I looked out, I saw Mr. Shears leave in his car after tossing Mother’s belongings on the lawn. She rushed outside, yelling at him. She did not seem happy. Why would Mr. Shears do that? After Mother came back inside, she said we might have to stay here for a longer time. I do not know what it means, but I do not want to see Father anymore. ‘’

We were assigned to write a text and get in the character of someone who worked in a toy factory at very hideous conditions. "Christmas is coming soon. And for me, that doesn’t mean joy, holidays and spending time with my family. Instead, it implies I have to work twice as much in the factory. Whenever this season arrives, the demand for toys and decorations is very high, more than the usual. Therefore, we’re asked to toil away day and night with very little rest. I always see many of the women working here faint countless times due to their fatigue; not only because of the nonstop activity, but also because of the bad conditions we’re in. Even in winter it’s very hot with all the machinery around us: the steam is oppressive and we can barely breathe. Furthermore, we get tired easily; both physically and mentally. As a result of this, accidents occur: broken fingers, skin burns or even casualties are just a few of the possible outcomes. What depresses me the most is the little reward for all this sacrifice. No matter how much I exert myself, how much I work overtime or how badly I get myself hurt, I can barely earn up to 780 yuan. It makes me think that all this effort is meaningless, even more when it keeps me from seeing my family during this festivity. However, I can only save up that much money if I cut down on other needs. I can’t buy breakfast at work even if it’s just 1 yuan: if I wasted that everyday, I’d end up loosing a lot of money and all my attempts on gaining cash would go to waste. I try my best to only buy presents for my family, pay rent and other basic needs for us. Having said all this, I can only add one more thing. I feel very void when I think of how the items I help making sell. Many people buy them from all sorts of places, but the amount of customers that understand the pain and trouble we go through for producing these toys is very small. Or perhaps it’s immense, but they give it no importance and never think of us. I’m aware there are many companies fighting this abuse, but I see no change in my everyday life. As much as I like the idea of children enjoying the toys we make and the joy it brings them, I can’t help but cry when the sacrifice I’ve gone through comes to mind."

The following is a speech I wrote for our assignment. We were asked to make a speech about something close to us. "When I was about eight years old, I felt low all the time. I didn’t know why, I didn’t know when I began to feel that way, and I ended up discarding it due to older people around me telling me I was just sad and that it was normal for a child to change their mood constantly. What someone should have told me back then was that I needed help because there was a chance I suffered from depression: sadly, this did not happen and this terrible feeling dragged out for about seven years. This is exactly what I am going to talk about today: depression. And I feel free to talk about it now because I have already accepted it as a problem that holds me back and because I am aware it is not something that should define me either: because I feel like I can help others like me, who did not get the support they needed. This is just my experience however, as this mental illness can affect people differently. For those here that do not know, depression is a mental illness that makes you feel low all the time. The problem is that there is a huge misconception about depression and feeling sad, and it is because of this misunderstanding that children like me did not get the help they needed when they suffered from this mental illness. It is also because at an early age, adults will not take your feelings seriously. They will neglect those feelings and think of it as a tantrum. The main issue lies in believing that the normal ‘blues’ and everyday emotions are the same as being depressed: and true, feeling sad is awful but it is usually short-lived and a consecutive response to a situation or problem you are in. When you feel sad, you usually are aware of why you are suffering and how you can feel better. However, depression is constant. You do not know most of the times why you even feel that way, because when you suffer from it, you do not feel anything. You do not feel sad, you do not want to cry- you just do not feel. You cannot help it either- you feel like you have sunk in such a deep hole to the point where life and everybody else are out of reach. And there is a big issue with people not understanding this difference, because you are completely misunderstood and often even labeled as lazy, because you have no energy and you have no will to do anything other than lie lifelessly in bed for hours. Which brings me to the next point: the people around you and how they react to it. Truth be told, depression is not something you just bring up in a conversation- it feels awkward to just come out and say, ‘’I suffer from depression’’. It is not easy- and for outsiders, it seems like such a silly thing to not mention, but they do not understand the fear of feeling like others will not understand. Which in my case, it was- when I learnt I had depression, I had already been through five years of people not understanding how I felt. So you get to a point where you ask yourself if it is even worth to come out and say it to your closest friends or family. Sometimes, I would think to myself; ‘’I can just pretend I am alright’’. And I would try to put that in my head, and I would go out, hang out with people and they would not be able to tell I was feeling the way I was. Because that is exactly why it is so hard to sometimes tell when someone is suffering from depression- since you do not feel, it is easy to imitate other feelings. But putting on that façade was very short-lived. Things my friends found interesting or funny held no attraction to me, and activities that I found entertaining before were suddenly dull and exhausting. I even stopped drawing for a few years, because it felt tiring to force myself to do it. When I had found out I suffered from this illness after taking countless tests online since I had no support on my family’s side whatsoever, I realised after a long time of pretending I was fine and that I could deal with it that I needed help. We need help in a situation like this because depression is not cool or mysterious, or just for the aesthetic: it is a problem that you need help with. And it is extremely hard to go out of your comfort zone to ask for help, it really is. But you have to force yourself to do it. Before I decided to get help, I watched many videos on how to deal with it- an infinite number of pages, but they all came down to the same thing: tell people you trust. I told my friends about it, and since I knew I would not be able to dedicate myself to dealing with this on my own, I told them things like: “If you see me not replying to texts for a week, come see me and make sure I am eating and taking care of myself”, or “If I have not come out of my house in a week, drag me out” or even “If you see I am staying up until 4 a.m, insist that I go to bed”. Because basic things like showering, eating, sleeping more and doing exercise are what slowly help you getting back in track both physically and mentally. I also had my first experience with therapy, which was completely different from what I expected. It is important that you speak your mind and tell the people closest to you how you feel to get help- it is true they might disappoint you and end up not understanding you, I found that out myself the hard way. But even so, you have to keep trying- because you are valid and it is not something that defines you. I do not just go around telling people “My name is Mayra and I like memes, anime and I am depressed”- I am more than just this thing that constantly holds me back and I am aware of it now. At the end of the day I am more than just depression, anxiety and panic attacks. They do not have to define me, and they should not define you either."

This is a caption I made for the illustration we'll be doing in class about global warming and pollution. "Do you throw away your dinner? Do you toss plastic containers at the street? Have you ever left food leftovers at the beach, or dropped the plastic that comes with fizzy drink cans into the sea? Have you ever cared about what damage it’s done? Don’t worry, we’ve illustrated the results for you. It may seem like we’re exaggerating, but it’s the truth. These little things which appear to not cause any harm eventually pile up and pollute the air we’re breathing and the planet we’re living on. It also causes the Earth to heat up, and beautiful places like the South Pole will completely melt away. Perhaps in less time than we can imagine, only small pecks of our planet will be left hovering in space. Every little effort to fight pollution and global warming are what’s keeping the planet alive."

Since I’m also an art student, I’ll use this opportunity to post my school-related artwork along with my current work, trying to illustrate my writings.