Otherworldly Shenanigans @mayhallius - Tumblr Blog

Went sock -> shoe -> sock -> shoe this morning to remind myself that no matter what happens, I could always be worse

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Professor Xavier to transgender Wolverine and Cyclops be like:

“To me, my ex-men”

#X-men #trans pride

“I wish the genie nearest to me would give me blowjob head crazy sloppy style on my dong”

#now what?

Fortune favors the based

#BASEDBASEDBASED

Thinkin about putting sumthin enema ass

#for rectal use only

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She’s hyperfixated the way I run a train on her

My load so stupid, it’ll give her autism

I’m talkin’ stem cells

She tells me take it slow

Ritardando

#stem-ulate my weenor

Sometimes, I’ll just go sit in buildings on campus in which I don’t have any classes to see if I can roll any encounters with rare npcs

#hey there stranger

My bitch so hot, I cum-busted

#awooga

Men will be all like “I’m straight gangster” and then hang out with a bunch of other dudes saying “I’m hard”

Bitch, you may be gangster, but you sure as hell ain’t straight

#make up yo mind

The elderly couple at my pop-up oil change station after I replace their wheels with square ones while they aren’t looking:

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Got so many opps I’ve lost count

I’m fighting off sums of bitches

If I replace the head of an angle grinder with an unpressed vinyl disc and start spinning it against a thin enough knife, there has to be a non-zero chance that I end up with the nastiest trap album of all time

#composer #woodworking #modern solutions

Every algorithm is recommending me poker content in the vain and fruitless hope that I will spiral into the cold dead hands of gambling

Little do they know it’s just gonna put me back into my Balatro phase

You fools, I already have a hopeless addiction that rules my life

Now shut the fuck up, I’ve got an erratic deck to gold stake, surely this time I’ll roll all aces, trust

#balatro #i can stop whenever i want

Will wood be like:

*piano*

“So let the sleeping dogs die

from the carbon monoxide

leaking from the bowl of my exhausted pipe”

*saxophone or something idk*

#will wood #please guys it’s satire

Where the hell is the “T” in peet-suh???

And don’t tell me “under the sauce” I’ve checked there already

#tees not cheese

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My life be going so well then I do something stupid like start listening to Cavetown

#ouch my emotions

My boss just banned phone usage at work, he’s gonna be real surprised when I actually start taking my government mandated 30 minute lunch break

#I haven’t been hungry until now

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