alldaydream

Life is so precious and how lucky were we to have been given some of her light.

My very first fanfic was when I was 12 years old for a fandom I will not disclose because although I don't think anyone should feel embarrassed about being in a fandom, the fic I wrote is what you would expect an overly indulgent 12 year old who loved to daydream would write. So it's really fucking bad.

But I think of that story very fondly and I am still gutted it is gone forever (the original website that hosted it was wiped out)

And now being a grown ass 30 something year old lady I wish I could talk to that girl and tell her how proud I am of her for being brave at 12 to share that because even now I'm still fucking terrified every time I click that button.

I logged onto this sucker for just a moment and to my delight I saw I was tagged by my favorite @grapehyasynth 

what a throwback to look through my lil collection of fics, really feeling the nostalgia! 

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or three), and share it! 

10.  getting by -  “Yes, how could I possibly forget coming home to an empty apartment, my husband nowhere to be found,” Patrick spits out. “Throwing me away as if I meant nothing to you.” (fucking woof i was so self indulgent with the angst wasn’t i lmao)

9. Alexis Saves the Turtles - “What the fuck is that-” David begins to say and is immediately cut off by a sudden explosion from inside the boat, the top of the helm bursting up towards the sky. All of them jump back in fright, Alexis dropping the briefcase. 

8. The Honeymoon - “Oh my god, you poor thing,” Alexis says sympathetically. “You left home because you had things to do, big things, important things! Like the guru I once met during my immersive meditation and healing retreat in Bali said, it’s important to accept things as they are and to use it as a moment of growth,” Alexis says with a smile before stopping to think. “Or maybe that’s what Sir Patrick Stewart told me when we were getting mimosas in Marseille.”

7. I Walked through Hell to find Home - Patrick knocks gently on David’s door, the to-go bag of David’s food clutched tightly in his hand. It’s not that big of a deal, dropping off food for your business partner who you’re harboring intense feelings for after spending two weeks in an alternate reality where you were both married. Really, it’s fine.

6. Let me hold you closer now - “David, it’s okay to be a little stinky,” Patrick says from on top of him, settling onto David’s lap as he tries to dislodge him from his body.

5. lay this curse down and tell me otherwise - “But for how long?” David asks. “How long until you realize that everything you’re feeling is nothing but the curse manipulating these feelings inside of you.”

4. i must have done something good - “Okay,” Patrick says weakly. A few seconds tick by before their bodies crash together over the gear stick, impossible to tell who moved first. But it doesn’t matter because Patrick is kissing David like he means it, like he’s been waiting for forever too. And David thinks that just might be true.

3. Somewhere Near - But as all the other flowers began to inevitably wilt away and die, the white forget-me-nots lived until he was discharged two weeks later. He kept the vase in his room by his window sill, the morning sun reflecting through the glass as it gently woke Patrick up from his sleep every morning.

2. Shall I Stay? - They sit underneath the shade of the weeping willow, holding hands, a light summer breeze shifting between them. Patrick closes his eyes and allows himself to pretend that this is okay, that they were meant to be here and that nothing ever went wrong.

I really appreciate this message ❤️ going through a bit of a rough patch and this lightened my day so much

Hello anon!! Very sorry for the late response!!

I haven't completely stopped writing fic, other than the 2 WIPs I said I will hopefully finish, I still write other d&p things, but have just made the decision no longer publish anything more. I don't want to make it sound like I'm so kind of uber popular fic writer in this fandom but I've noticed I haven't been hitting numbers like I did last year, which of course is absolutely fine, no one owes me comments or kudos lol but I just took it as a sign to move forward!

I am also adjusting to a lot of huge changes in my life! I've recently started grad school and moved somewhere far away so a lot of my energy will be spent on that.