marsy

My Mind is like the Wind, Purposeful and Rewarding,

My Heart is like the Sun, Warm and Playful.

Everyone I've known, are boats.

Drowning in my Ocean,

Getting turned around by my Wind,

Melting from the sweltering heat of my Sun.

Everyone thinks they know me.

For once I wish for someone to Cross my Soul,

For once I wish for someone to Accept my Mind,

You'll remember the love I gave you.

Platonic, Romantic, Sarcastic, Symbolic,

You'll remember who we were.

People fueled by injustice, equality, and an overall desire for change,

You'll remember all the versions of you.

The way they all walk with you in each step you take,

You'll remember that it'll get easier.

Bad days were never the end, they never stopped the world,

And when we've all gone our own ways,

And, I'm no longer mourning your death,

And, I'm no longer wishing for it to get easier,

And, I'm no longer in your life,

And, I'm still the new old person,

And, I'm seeing the sun shining brighter,

And, I'm growing further, to heights you've never seen,

And suddenly, It's June,

But then raise children without imagination.

We consume art, music, and movies

But we shut kids down, telling them to "Be smart."

The inventor isn't the smartest man.

He's just the one who took the risk.

He's the gambler who bet on black and won the pot.

She's the one who didn't give up on the "childish dreams",

She reached for things out of arms reach,

Fighting against the tangible.

The ones who risk comfortability for a fulfilled life,

Like a bird released into the wind, taking flight.

No longer just stick and twine but a full on kite.

Released from the shackles I called your words.

Released from my role of your jester.

I get to climb to a new height,

To see a new light.

One that you can't tarnish.

Done with the shit I put up with, forgiveness,

Something I always gave you but never received.

I let you be wrong, I let you be you, I let you go,

against my morals, my beliefs, my actions.

Because maybe I could balance out you with me.

But I'm not you, and you're not me, you never will be.

So I got out of that car, I walked away, permanently.

To stop the attacks, to prevent you from siding with, him.

He who wanted a future I can't promise. You got that

At one point. But regardless, I left that car, I got out,

and left. Permanently exiting your life. Politely, calmly, civilly.

And I'm the manipulator. So,

only to end up apologizing,

One where you didn't want to hurt me,

One where I wasn't the joke,

One where I wasn't left out.

And now all I do is try to find a rhyme,

And sit in solitude with my tea,

Hoping you'll disappear like smoke,

Healing from my doubt.

Silently hoping that the sharks catch notice.

But, I know I shouldn't.

I know that's not where the answer lies.

Yet maybe somewhere in the lies,

I find my truth, one of fragments and false hopes

Yet no matter how one copes

I find myself begging for the desire to be seen

And through the lies I weave

Just to realize how much I leave

When I lie about who I need to be.

I let myself bleed a little to long.

To make a point, to pray the sharks will notice.

But know this,

I aim to heal. I aim to grow. I aim to stop bleeding.