Rudy’s Version

Memories from last night came flooding back to you—sneaking into JJ’s room at the Chateau, getting high...other events.

You bit back a groan at the pain ebbing in your head, sitting up and sliding out of bed slowly so as to not wake the blond boy beside you. From there, you slipped back into your clothes from last night, and was in the process of tying your shoes when you heard the bed creak.

“Where are you going?” JJ asked groggily, rubbing his eye. His morning voice was deep and raspy, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to jump his bones again, but you had self control.

“I gotta get to work.” You whispered, grabbing your phone off the nightstand and shoving it into the back pocket of your shorts. JJ frowned at your words, but you didn’t see it. “I can come back tonight, if you wanna...hang out again.”

“Oh yeah. Definitely.” He nodded rapidly, lips quirking up into a smirk when he saw the mischievous glint in your eyes. “Text me when you get to work, okay?”

“Okay, dad.” You snorted, pulling open the window and ducking through it.

“That’s not what you were calling me yesterday.” JJ hummed. You shot him a pointed look, and then you were gone, leaving him alone with his jumble of thoughts.

This friends with benefits thing was harder than he thought it would be. At first, things were great. The relationship between you and JJ was purely physical—he thought you were hot, you thought he was hot, why not just hook up randomly from time to time? But as the hookups became more and more frequent, JJ’s feelings for you started to shift. Instead of feeling nothing but lust and hunger every time you slipped into his room at night, he found himself wishing you’d stay longer in the mornings. Instead of leaving bruises and hickeys littered up and down your body, he wished that he could just kiss you for the fun of it. JJ wanted to spend sunny afternoons curled up with you in the hammock outside, colder nights curled up with you in bed. He wanted to take you on fun dates, teach you how to surf, sit with you at bonfires.

JJ wanted more than what you had now.

He shook himself out of his longing thoughts, throwing on a pair of shorts before making his way out to the kitchen, where John B was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. JJ beelined straight for the fridge, cracking open a can of beer and taking a large swig.

“Morning, sunshine.” John B chuckled through a mouthful of Cheerios. JJ merely grunted. “Tell Y/N she can leave through the front door next time.”

“W-what?” JJ coughed, pounding on his chest to clear the beer he’d just choked on.

“Yeah, I know about your little fuck buddies thing. Hey man, don’t look at me like you’re surprised.” John B snorted. “Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out? I mean, my room is right down the hall, and you guys aren’t exactly...quiet.” JJ rolled his eyes, chugging the rest of his beer and crushing the can in his fist. John B tilted his head at his best friend. “You like her, don’t you?”

“What?” It seemed like what was the only word JJ could utter this morning.

“Y/N. You got attached.” John B raised an eyebrow. At first, JJ thought about lying, but John B would definitely see right through him.”So what are you gonna do about it?”

“What are you talking about? Nothing, dude,” JJ snorted, leaning back against the counter. “I’m not gonna risk what we have all because I’m a fuckin simp.”

“How do you know she doesn’t like you too?”

“She doesn’t.”

“Did she tell you that?”

“No, but—”

“Then how can you be so sure if you don’t ask?” JJ wasn’t sure if it was because he was buzzed from the beer, but John B’s words were making a lot of sense. “I say you march on down to the Marina Kitchen and tell Y/N exactly how you feel.”

"Yeah,” JJ nodded, rushing past his friend to pull on his boots.”Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks, man.” With that, he was out the door and headed for you.

Fifteen minutes later, JJ was standing outside the Marina Kitchen, and he could see you inside, moving from table to table with the brightest of smiles on your face. Taking a deep breath, he entered the restaurant, cringing at the loud bell attached to the door but also being thankful for it because it got your attention immediately. You finished refilling a table’s drinks before heading towards him, eyebrows furrowing in adorable confusion at the sight of him at your place of work.

“JJ? What are you doing here?” You asked, approaching him warily. JJ opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out because all he could think about was how cute you looked in your uniform. “Did I leave something at the Chateau? Because I can just pick it up tonight, you didn’t have to—”

“No, it’s not that.” JJ shook his head. “I just—can we talk?”

“Now???”

“Uh, yeah, I was hoping.” You shifted on your feet uneasily, hesitating. “Please?”

You could tell he probably wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so you flagged down one of your coworkers.

“Hey Jude, could you cover me for a few minutes?” When he nodded, you pulled JJ off to the side. “What’s up?”

“I like you.”

“Uh...okay? I like you too, that’s why we’re friends, right?”

“No, I like you.” He repeated. Your mouth fell into an ‘oh’ as the realization hit you. JJ fiddled with his rings as a large stretch of silence hung between the two of you, but eventually he got impatient. “Please say something. Anything.”

“I’m sorry, JJ. I don’t—I don’t feel the same way.” Your voice was soft, but it still hit JJ like a sucker punch to the gut. “I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

“W-what?”

“When we started hooking up, we were on the same page. Just sex, no strings attached. And now, things are different!” You exclaimed. “I can’t keep doing this with you now that I know how you feel about me. It’s—it’s wrong.”

“No, it’s fine! I’ll get over it!” He insisted, shaking his head. “This is nothing, I’m just being stupid. This can still work!”

Well, at least you didn't answer

When you didn’t answer, his heart sank to the floor. He didn’t like the thought of you being alone with him. As much as you constantly assured him that he was a good guy, that he cared about you, JJ knew guys like him all too well.

Your voicemail rang through his ears, and he couldn’t help the smile pulling at his lips at the sound of your voice. It distracted him long enough that there was suddenly a loud beep, flustering him as his voicemail began.

“Oh shit,” He blinked, not prepared to actually leave you a message. “Uh, hey sweetheart. Shit- I didn’t mean to call you that-”

John B, who had been staying relatively sober the whole night so he could drive everyone to his house once the party died down, noticed JJ off to the side, muttering something on the phone. It must’ve been some sixth sense John B had for knowing whenever JJ was doing something stupid, but he instantly excused himself from his conversation and started making his way toward his best friend.

“I just- I really think you’re better than that asshole. I know you hate when I say that shit, but he really doesn’t deserve you. You’re bright, and- and you can cheer anyone up just by being around them. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and I just need you to know that. I need you to know that you deserve better than him. I would treat you better than he does. I know I would. I love you, Y/N, I love you so much.”

At this point, John B reached JJ, pulling the phone away from his ear and quickly hanging up, shoving the phone in his shorts pocket before JJ could do any more damage.

“What are you doing?” John B asked now that JJ’s attention was on him.

“Was just callin’ Y/N.” He answered, a slight slur in his speech that made John B understand how bad of an idea that was.

John B sighed, putting an arm around JJ, and quickly guiding him in the direction of the Twinkie. “Let’s get you home, big guy.”

Woke up, prayed to God it was only a dream

JJ woke up, immediately feeling the pain of the killer hangover he had. Forcing himself to sit up in the bed he didn’t remember stumbling into the night before, he looked around the room. It didn’t take long to realize he was in the guest room at the Chateau, the room that had become unofficially his after so many years of friendship with John B.

His head was still pounding as he tried to piece together what had happened the night before. Instinctively, he reached for where his phone would be on the nightstand, confused to find it wasn’t there.

That’s when the memories started to come back to him.

He was drunk. He was wasted. He tried calling you. You didn’t answer. He said he loved you. He said he loved you.

“Oh, fuck.” He dropped his throbbing head into his hands, rubbing his temples. “Oh, I’m so fucked.”

You were in the shower when JJ called you the night before, and your boyfriend was the one to notice your phone buzzing where you’d left it on the bed. He didn’t answer, of course he didn’t, not when JJ was the one calling, he instead watched it ring. It wasn’t until he noticed JJ left a voicemail that his interest was piqued.

Glancing in the direction of the bathroom, he could still hear the shower running. Quickly, he reached to grab your phone, typing in the passcode.

You told him your passcode offhandedly one day when you asked him to respond to a text from Kiara while you were driving, and he remembered it ever since. He told himself it was just in case, and as he listened to JJ’s voicemail, he convinced himself he was doing this out of love.

His fists clenched when he heard JJ’s confession. It was obvious he was drunk, but Roman knew hearing this would ruin everything. It would destroy the relationship he worked so hard to build.

By the time he finished the voicemail, he heard you turn the shower off, hurriedly deleting the voicemail before tossing your phone back on the bed.

Well, at least I took my chances

JJ trudged out of the bedroom, seeing John B cooking breakfast, along with Kiara and Pope still fast asleep on either side of the pullout couch.

“Morning, sunshine.” John B chuckled, giving JJ a look. “How’s the headache?”

“Fuck off.” JJ groaned, peering at what John B was cooking. He reached forward, plucking a strip of freshly cooked bacon off the plate they’d been set on, dodging John B swatting at him with the spatula.

“Your phone’s on the table.” John B said, pointing halfheartedly to the kitchen table.

JJ groaned again, not wanting to be reminded of the consequences of him calling you.

“Hey, at least you finally took your chances.” John B couldn’t help but laugh, earning a light smack on the arm from JJ.

“Shut up, dude.”

When JJ picked up his phone, he swore his heart stopped when he saw a text from you.

When you got out of the shower, you threw some pajamas on and walked back into the bedroom, your boyfriend was giving you an unreadable look.

“What?” You asked, trying to smile at him, your grin faltering when he didn’t react.

“JJ called you.” His tone was flat, and you tilted your head in confusion.

“Okay…? Is he alright? Did he need a ride home, or…?” Your mind wandered to JJ at the party. He was no doubt drunk out of his mind, and you were worried he’d gone and gotten himself hurt. Surely someone would’ve had his back, you knew the rest of the pogues were at the party as well.

Roman sighed heavily in a way that made you tense. “I think you should keep your distance from him.”

Your jaw dropped. “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

When he stood up, you immediately shut your mouth despite the firm look you were still giving him.

“He’s my friend, Roman.” You insisted, though your voice was much quieter now.

“He wants to jeopardize our relationship.” His voice was low, and the way he stepped closer to you almost felt threatening.

“He- what?” JJ would never do that. You knew he didn’t approve of your boyfriend, he made that very clear, but would he actually try to jeopardize your relationship?

“Just- here.” He grabbed your phone off the bed, shoving it in your hand. You took it hesitantly, still giving him a confused look. “Just text him. Tell him you’re not gonna speak to him again.”

“What?!” You looked up at him, mouth agape in shock. He couldn’t be serious, right?

When his face darkened, you gripped your phone just a bit tighter. “He wants to ruin our relationship. You’re gonna have to make a choice here.”

Part of you wanted to keep arguing, to say that you could talk to JJ, that you would sort it out. But something in the look in Roman’s eyes made you nod, backing down.

“Okay. I’ll text him.”

You said you never wanted to speak again

“She text you?” John B asked, not looking up from the eggs he was cooking.

JJ didn’t respond, still staring down at the text.

Please don’t speak to me anymore.

“JJ?” John B glanced up at him before scraping the eggs onto a plate, walking over to see the phone.

JJ moved so John B could see it, still saying nothing. The silence hung in the air for a while before John B spoke again.

“Holy shit.”

JJ sighed, tossing his phone back onto the table with a loud enough clatter that it startled Kiara and Pope from their sleep, looking between him and John B with furrowed brows. Kiara opened her mouth to tell him off for waking her up before noticing the tension in the room.

“Dude, it’s probably not that bad.” John B tried to say, but JJ grimaced.

“Not that bad? I fucked everything up!” He resisted the urge to hit something, pacing back and forth in the room clenching and unclenching his fists.

“Can someone please explain what the hell is going on?” Kiara spoke up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“JJ drunk dialed Y/N last night and told her he’s in love with her.”

“Dude!” JJ snapped, glaring at John B. He shrugged back lamely, mouthing an apology.

“Is that not what happened?” John B asked under his breath, grabbing a couple plates of food and handing them off to Kiara and Pope.

“She’s got a boyfriend, man,” Pope said through a bite of food.

JJ rubbed a hand over his eyes, sighing heavily. “Yeah, Pope. Thanks. I’m well aware of that.”

Kiara stretched forward, grabbing JJ’s phone off the table to see the text. Pope leaned close to her, peering over her shoulder to read it as well.

“Oh.” She cringed, setting the phone back on the table with a pitying look. “Yeah, that’s… not great.”

“Thanks, Kie,” JJ said dryly, shooting her a halfhearted glare. “Real helpful.

“Maybe you can reason with her?” She said, taking a bite of food. “I mean, this’ll all blow over in like a week, I’m sure.”

I was never one to listen

The next morning, you’d barely finished getting ready for the day when you felt your phone buzzing on the table you set it down on. Roman looked up from his spot on your bed, eyeing you before turning his gaze to your phone.

“I can answer that.” He said, standing.

You almost mindlessly agreed until you saw the contact name.

JJ Maybank.

“Wait- Uh, I’ll get it.” You caught the look Roman gave you as you grabbed your phone, shrinking in on yourself. “I’ll just- I’ll tell him to leave me alone.”

The words felt bitter on your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stand up to Roman. It wasn’t that your boyfriend was a bad person, he was just… protective. And he seemed to know something you didn’t about JJ wanting to ruin your relationship, so maybe you should just believe him.

With a sigh, unsure of if you actually believed him or if you were just trying to convince yourself of the fact, you answered the call and brought your phone to your ear.

“JJ-”

“Hey! Holy shit, I didn’t think you’d answer! Uh, listen-” JJ started talking quickly, trying to explain, but the longer you stayed silent, the more you could feel the tension coming from your boyfriend.

“Please don’t call me, JJ.” Despite how weak you felt your voice was, it instantly made JJ fall silent.

You hung up without another word, exhaling shakily, trying with all your might to ignore the reality of what you’d done. Even a month ago if you were told to not speak to JJ, you would’ve laughed in their face. Things felt so different now, and it made you feel sick.

“Thank you.” Roman smiled at you, but the grin on his face resembled that of a shark.

You felt your phone buzzing, still in your hand. JJ was calling you again. Quickly, you shut it off, shoving it in your back pocket, forcing yourself to return Roman’s smile.

And it's fine, just wish you'd get out of my head

JJ had never gone this long without seeing you, not since the two of you became friends. It had been a little over two weeks since you last spoke to him, and he felt like he was going insane. You hadn’t hung out with the pogues since before that fateful night. They never stopped reaching out, though, telling you every plan they made just in case you decided to show.

Your response was always the same: Sorry! I’m hanging with Roman tonight. Another time!

JJ tried to play it off like he was fine, like he didn’t care. Still, every time Kiara would text you to ask if you could make it only to get a measly text apologizing for missing out, everyone could see the way JJ’s face fell. Whenever they met up, he counted the heads, heart sinking just a little when he saw you weren’t there. Everyone saw the way his grin faltered when your name was mentioned, or the way his attention snapped to anyone that looked a little too much like you, sounded a little too much like you, or laughed a little too much like you.

Every time JJ found himself surrounded by his best friends, he couldn’t help but notice the empty seat that was always left open – a silent agreement to keep it available just in case. It stayed empty every time, though, and JJ was never able to take his eyes off it.

Well, you never did

It was another party. Being deep in the throes of Summer, there were new parties nearly every night, and the pogues joined more than half the time. Tonight was unlike any other, and everyone was piling into the Twinkie for a kegger.

JJ pulled his flask out of his shorts pocket, taking a quick swig as John B parked outside the beach, the rest of the pogues clambering out of the van the second the car stopped moving. John B tossed the keys to Pope, who had agreed to be the designated driver for the night. The pogues often took turns, with the exception of JJ, who recently had gotten into a habit of getting as drunk as possible to drown out any thoughts of you any chance he could get.

It wasn’t long before the group had a few drinks, with JJ being much further gone than anyone else. The pogues were keeping a worried eye on him, exchanging looks with each other every time he went to grab another drink.

JJ was leaning against a tree now, only half listening to the conversation between John B and Pope when he noticed you a good distance away. Your boyfriend was a few feet away from you, and JJ couldn’t help but notice the fact that you clearly weren’t getting the attention you deserved.

JJ could feel his heart beat just a little faster at the sight of you, sat on a log and watching your boyfriend talk to his friends. Roman wasn’t even looking at you, and JJ could see the way your face fell at the lack of attention. He knows you’re so much better than that asshole, but he also knows he can’t be the one to tell you that.

Not anymore.

Still, JJ isn’t able to take his eyes off of you, and as he downed another drink, he barely acknowledged whatever question Pope was asking him.

My brain holds too many poisons

JJ nearly winced at the sight of you. He knew he could treat you better. He knew you deserved to be treated like royalty, and all Roman saw you as was arm candy.

“JJ?” He turned at the sound of Pope’s voice, not bothering to mask the annoyance on his face. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” JJ waved him off, looking back to you and the way you were sitting on the edge of your seat to watch Roman chat with his friends. You were trying so hard to seem like you were enjoying yourself, but JJ had always known you better. He can see every movement of yours, awkwardly fiddling with your hands in your lap, glancing around the crowd every so often, and the forced smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes. It was always the little things that JJ noticed about you, that your boyfriend would never bother to care about.

Suddenly, JJ stands, ignoring the looks from John B and Pope. Kiara had disappeared from the group a while ago, mingling with some people she’d met a few times before.

“I’m getting another drink.”

He pushed through the crowd, weaving past drunk teenagers until he got to the keg of beer, refilling his solo cup.

“How many drinks does this make?” Kiara’s voice made him spin around, facing her with a forced smile.

“Lost track.” He raised the cup, tapping it against her own. “Cheers.”

She gives him a firm look, one of her hands on her waist. “I think you’ve had enough.”

JJ shook his head, walking beside her in the direction of where Pope and John B were still standing. “Not yet.”

Kiara exchanged worried looks with the boys when they finally approached before making herself comfortable, taking a seat next to John B.

Loud laughter and cheering from afar pulled JJ’s attention away from his friends, glancing over and seeing your boyfriend in the middle of a game of beer pong with his kook friends. JJ rolled his eyes, the story Kiara started telling going entirely unnoticed while he stared down your boyfriend, taking another swig from his solo cup.

They helped me make the wrong choices

“Hey,” Pope reached a hand out, tapping JJ on the arm a few times to get him to look away from Roman. “Are you even paying attention?”

JJ leans away from Pope, lazily hitting his hand away. He looked at Pope for only a moment, making a face at him before turning his focus back to you.

You were sat with your hands still in your lap, wearing an outfit that JJ knew you well enough to know you were uncomfortable in. Your boyfriend wasn’t far off, still hard at work in his game of beer pong.

John B took note of his friend’s distraction now, following JJ’s gaze and sighing to himself when he saw you. “JJ, don’t do anything you’re gonna regret.”

JJ didn’t respond. He was still focused on the way you were looking at Roman. You had reached up at this point, fiddling with the necklace you were wearing absentmindedly. The same necklace JJ bought you for your birthday almost two years ago. It tugged at his heartstrings to know that you were still wearing it, but he wasn’t surprised. You’d worn it every day since JJ bought it for you, of course you still had it on.

When you stood up, JJ tensed, watching you step toward Roman. You placed a gentle hand on his arm, trying to whisper something to him. Without even looking in your direction, Roman nudged you away from him, muttering something JJ couldn’t hear that made you frown.

The dejected look on your face was enough to have JJ downing the rest of his drink, handing the empty cup off to John B, ignoring the pogues calling after him.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

Before JJ could think better of what he was doing, he was storming across the beach, sand kicking up under his feet. There was something in the way your gaze softened looking at Roman despite how much he was ignoring you that made his chest feel tight. You didn’t deserve that. You may not want to talk to him, but he needed you to know you deserved better.

“Hey!” JJ’s voice made Roman’s head snap up to him, along with each of his friends. You looked up as well, eyes wide when you saw how quickly JJ was approaching.

You were the only one who wasn’t staring JJ down like he was their next target.

Roman gave JJ a lazy smile that looked more like a grimace. “JJ Maybank. What can I do for you?”

JJ stopped right in front of him, the alcohol in his system mixing with the rage he felt boiling over. “You too good to pay attention to your girlfriend all of a sudden?”

Roman blinked, his eyes darkening as he glanced at you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher before he looked back to JJ. He stepped closer, trying to intimidate JJ with the few inches he had above him, despite not having the strength that JJ had.

“What did you say?”

The beer pong game had now been officially paused, and every kook in the area was watching JJ’s every move. Everyone was on edge, waiting for the pogue to do something worthy of jumping him.

As if they ever needed a reason.

“You heard me.” JJ sneered, his jaw clenching. “Too good to pay attention to your girlfriend?”

But I make them more than most

When Roman grabbed the front of JJ’s shirt, he swore he heard you gasp. He pulled JJ close to him, breathing heavily.

“Walk away, Maybank.” He said through gritted teeth, glaring down at JJ. The crowd around them was growing by the second, and it was almost entirely kooks. There was hardly anyone around that would jump to his defense. He started to wonder if you would jump to his defense, or your boyfriend’s.

JJ glanced toward you, realizing with a start that for the first time in weeks, your full attention was on him, and it only encouraged him further.

Turning back to Roman, he couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face. “Or what?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you stand up, nervously hovering near the interaction in case anything happened. It made JJ wonder again who you were more worried about.

If he got hurt would you go to him? Or would you let Roman drag you away from him again?

“Or we’ll escort you out of here.” A kook that had been playing beer pong piped up, earning a glare from JJ.

“Did I ask you?” JJ took a few steps in his direction, momentarily forgetting the grasp Roman had on his shirt until he stopped him.

“I think you should go back to your own turf,” Roman said, leaning down to talk right in JJ’s ear, quiet enough that only he could hear him. “Pogue.”

And it's my fault that I live my life

The sound of JJ’s fist colliding with Roman’s jaw instantly incited chaos within the crowd. Kooks were on JJ within a second, but all of his focus was stuck on Roman. The punch sent him stumbling to the ground, but he was quick to rally, jumping back up and throwing a punch that almost knocked JJ off balance.

“JJ!” Your voice was muffled by the ringing in his ears, but he couldn’t shake the knowledge that you were worried about him.

You cared. You care.

JJ rolled his head back, planting his feet and glaring at Roman, who was cocky enough that he let the other kooks let him go, calling for a fair fight.

He knew most of these kooks worked out like it was their only hobby – in all honesty, it probably was, but he also knew better than anyone that strength is useless if you don’t know how to fight.

And JJ knows how to fight.

He took a deep breath, his fists clenching and unclenching for a moment before he lunged forward, ducking to avoid another hit from Roman, tackling him into the sand.

Running away from ghosts

Once he had Roman on the ground, JJ hovered above him, hitting him again.

The kooks surrounding them were screaming now, and a few of them tried to pull him up off of Roman. He shook them off, raising his fist again.

“Just like your old man, aren’t you?” Roman’s voice was weak, but it made JJ freeze.

While the crowd continued to yell and scream and cheer, JJ couldn’t hear a damn thing other than his own heartbeat, the only thing repeating in his head – just like your old man, aren’t you?

JJ saw red, bringing his fist down again and again, deaf to the crowd around him.

He didn’t see the kooks staring at him in fear, didn’t see the few pogues in the crowd whispering, didn’t see you standing at the front of the crowd, jaw agape as you watched this happen.

Word was spreading quickly through the party, whispers of the pogue beating the shit out of a kook rippling throughout the Boneyard and eventually, everyone at the party was aware of what was happening.

By the time Kiara, Pope, and John B got wind of what the crowd was surrounding, there were so many people they could barely get through to get to JJ.

Too many skeletons

Roman managed to shove JJ off, causing him to fall backwards into the sand. He caught your eye for just a moment, distracting him long enough that Roman was able to land a solid punch.

The look in your eyes made JJ’s stomach churn nauseatingly, and he swore seeing you that terrified was more painful than the punch itself. He couldn’t decipher who you were actually worried about, but when he saw Roman reeling back to hit him again, he knew he didn’t have the time to worry about it.

Rolling to the side, he barely managed to dodge Roman’s fist. When he missed, it made Roman tumble forward, giving JJ the opportunity to clamber to his feet.

The kooks steered clear of JJ this time, no one daring to interfere now. Still, he could hear the kooks egging Roman on when JJ wiped the fresh blood dripping from the cut on his lip.

Despite himself, he looked at you once more.

The fear in your eyes made him tense, but you still didn’t look away from him. It made him realize that ever since the fight began, you’d only been looking at him.

Too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been

He looked at you long enough to see your head shake just slightly, but before he could respond, Roman was knocking him to the ground. He felt another hit to the face, dizzying him for a moment before he shoved Roman to the side, hard enough that JJ was able to climb up and land another punch to the face.

He hit him hard, noticing a few spots of blood staining the sand around them.

The pain stinging his face and knuckles was getting harder to ignore, but he wasn’t one to back away from a fight. Especially from a kook who deserved to get a few teeth knocked in.

“Roman, don’t-” Your voice rang out, just before he noticed Roman’s hand closing around an empty beer bottle.

He brought it over JJ’s head, and JJ just barely reacted in time, throwing his hands up to block it, wincing when it shattered over his arms.

“JJ!” He heard you shriek. He almost felt proud in a sickening way, that it was his name you called out, that it was him you were worried about, that it was him you wanted to be okay.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

JJ dropped his hands from in front of his face, vaguely aware of the cuts along his arms from the shards of glass. He wanted to look at you, wanted to see how you were feeling.

More than anything, he wanted to hold you.

But still, Roman was glaring up at him, and JJ had to lurch back to avoid getting hit across the face. Quickly, JJ brought a hand back, ready to hit him again.

Before he could, though, two arms wrapped around him and dragged him up to his feet. He struggled instinctively, before realizing it was only John B. His brows were furrowed, and he was going off on him, lecturing him about something he couldn’t process with his heartbeat still loud in his ears and adrenaline still flowing in his veins.

He dragged JJ away from the scene, shoving past kooks that were sneering at the two of them, and continuing to scold him.

You're the one that I miss the most

He looked back only one time while John B was dragging him off to the Twinkie, his breath catching in his throat when he saw you. You were gently lifting Roman to his feet, running a hand over a cut on his cheek like you’d done so often to JJ.

It made his chest burn to know you weren’t his.

John B sat JJ in the passenger seat of the Twinkie, and only then did JJ see Kiara and Pope also trailing behind them, now climbing into the van after him.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get you out of his head. The image of you staring at him in horror was burned into his mind. Over and over, he could hear you calling his name, the way your voice cracked when you were terrified for him.

Worst of all, he couldn’t stop thinking of how quickly you went to Roman the second the fight was over.

Pope gave him a concerned look every minute or so while he drove to the Chateau. Everyone knew how uncharacteristic it was for JJ to be so quiet, but no one wanted to bring up what had just happened.

He was spiraling, and everyone knew it. Even him.

JJ pulled his phone out, sending you a text before he could stop himself.

I saw that a text I sent was left on read

Once they got to the Chateau, John B followed JJ into the guest room, dipping quickly into the bathroom to grab the first aid kit on the way there.

“You’re an idiot.” John B’s tone was harsh, and he set the first aid kit on the nightstand, disappearing for less than a minute to wet a cloth and appearing back in the room to start cleaning up his wounds.

“I know.” JJ’s voice was hoarse, and he was so resigned that John B almost faltered. He thought JJ would still be defensive, and it would lead to an argument.

There was nothing left from JJ, though. He was like a walking corpse, just running on autopilot with the knowledge that you were gone for good.

JJ pulled his phone back out, looking at the text he sent you from the car.

I’m sorry.

You read it a little over ten minutes ago.

He couldn’t stop thinking about all the times he’d gone to you after a fight. You would always chastise him for getting hurt or getting in a fight in the first place, but you were always impossibly gentle.

Gentle in a way John B wasn’t. In a way he couldn’t be. Because no matter how carefully John B tried to help him, he still wasn’t you.

“Ow, dude!” JJ swatted John B’s hand away from his face when he dragged over a cut a little too harshly, grabbing the wet cloth from him. “Jesus, I’ll do it myself.”

Well, I guess I get the message

John B sighed, dropping his head in disappointment before looking back up at him, a stern look on his face.

“Fine. I’ll leave you be. But jesus, JJ, you have to get your shit together.”

JJ nodded, watching John B leave without another word, closing the door to the bedroom a little harder than usual.

Taking a deep breath, JJ stared back down at his phone.

Then he threw it across the room.

It landed on the carpet, rolling a few times before finally stopping. Luckily, it was unharmed, but that still didn’t quell JJ’s anger.

He stood from his spot on the bed, running a hand through his hair, cursing to himself.

“What the fuck, JJ? What the fuck is wrong with you?” He muttered, pacing from one end of the room to the other.

How could he be so stupid? Why did he have to call you that night? Why did he have to ruin everything?

JJ finally dropped back into the bed, fighting back the harsh tears stinging in his eyes. His energy was entirely sapped, and the damp cloth John B was using to clean up his wounds had gone long forgotten on the nightstand beside the still unopened first aid kit.

I lied when I said I really loved your friends

After carefully guiding Roman away from the crowd and inside, you could still hear your friends talking about what happened. You used the term friends loosely, as they were mostly people you knew through Roman, most of which you’d only spoken to a few times.

Now that you set Roman down on a couch, you were staring down at the text JJ just sent you when you happened to overhear the conversation happening behind you.

“I mean, he’s just out of control!” A girl you’d spoken to maybe three times had said. Her name was Mandi, you caught the way she was looking at your boyfriend the whole night. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

“I know!” Another girl spoke up. She’d introduced herself to you earlier, but you couldn’t remember her name for the life of you. “It’s no surprise though, those pogues are insane!”

You stiffened. They were talking about JJ. Your JJ.

“Well, it’s no shocker, right? Have you seen his dad? He spends so much time locked up, of course he raised someone like that!”

You turned, momentarily forgetting your boyfriend and the bruises all over his face.

JJ had always been polite when you had to sneak off to hang out with the kooks. When you called them your friends, JJ never said anything about it, even though you could see how little he trusted them. You knew better than anyone how much JJ hated them, but he never slandered them to you, all he would do is carefully remind you of your worth.

That’s always what he’d done. Remind you of your worth. And you were worth more than this.

Well, I never did

“Can you just shut up?” The words spilled from your lips before you could catch them, and suddenly everyone was staring at you.

“Excuse me?” One of the girls gives you a look, expecting you to back down the instant you got any pushback.

“Don’t tell me you’re defending the guy that beat the shit out of your boyfriend.” Another said, and you briefly remembered where you were, who you were surrounded by. You cast a guilty look to Roman, who was still sat on the couch, now glaring harshly at you.

“I-” Your brain felt scrambled, trapped between your best friends and the group of kooks staring at you. “JJ’s my friend.”

The girls exchanged looks, holding back a laugh. You took a step away from them, beginning to realize that you’ve been more worried about JJ than Roman this whole time.

For a moment, you remembered the day JJ pulled you aside to remind you how much better than these kooks you were. You tried to brush him off, but he wouldn’t let you. He kept his hands on your shoulders until he felt like he’d cemented the fact that you deserved better in your mind.

“You know what?” Your voice sounded much stronger than you felt. “You’re all assholes.”

With that, you spun around, heading towards the door. For a second, you weren’t sure of where you were going, but the destination was engrained deep within your soul.

My brain holds too many poisons

Just before you could get to the door, you felt a hand on your arm, pulling you back.

“Y/N.” Roman’s voice was tight, holding back a deep anger. “Don’t leave.”

Looking up at him, you hesitated. His eye was swollen, and there was a cut on his cheek with a dark bruise forming along his jaw. When he opened his mouth, you could see blood faintly staining his teeth.

“JJ’s my friend.” You repeated, keeping your voice even.

“Well, your friend just attacked me.” He kept his hand on your arm, tightening his grip a little more. “I can’t believe you’re still defending him after what he did, you’re insane!”

You were too conflicted. Sure, it hurt seeing him like this, but you couldn’t shake the worry you had for JJ. It was a worry you couldn’t shake after being the one to clean him up after a fight so many times.

“I’m not-” You stopped, taking a breath to collect your thoughts.

“Not what? He’s just trying to ruin our relationship, why can’t you see that?” The way he raised his voice made you flinch back, eyes wide with shock. “He’s always been trying to ruin us, ever since- ever since he left you that stupid voicemail!”

They helped me make the wrong choices

Every part of your body tensed up, staring at him.

“What voicemail?”

It felt like something was happening around you, like there was something big looming just behind you but you couldn’t see it yet.

Roman hesitated, his grip on your arm loosening enough that you could pull away. “I didn’t mean-”

“What voicemail, Roman?” It felt like you were outside of your own body watching this happen. Your voice felt distant, as if you weren’t the one speaking.

“Nothing.” He reached out for your hand, growing exasperated. The way he tried to grab you felt performative, like he was trying to play the part of the perfect boyfriend. “Let’s just talk, okay? In private.” He glanced for a moment at the group of girls still standing nearby, whispering while they stared the two of you down.

All he cared about was his reputation.

You took a step back, your brows furrowing. “No.”

“No?” He looked at you, the possessive tone making your stomach churn. “Y/N. Let’s talk.”

Another few steps and you’d be at the door. You could leave right now if you wanted.

But you needed answers.

“What. Voicemail.” You asked again, twisting your arm away from him when he tried to grab it.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

Roman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That night he called you. He left a voicemail.” He started to explain, not looking at you.

“No, he didn’t.” You looked at him, confused, taking another step away from him. “No, he- I didn’t see a voicemail. He didn’t leave a voicemail.”

Still refusing to look at you, Roman shook his head.

“That’s cause I deleted it.”

And the ball drops.

You stared at him for a long time, feeling your world turning upside down in real time. A trust broken forever in the blink of an eye.

“How did you even-” You whispered, taking another step back. Just a few more and you’d be gone.

“You told me your phone password a few months ago.” Despite the guilt in his tone, when he finally met your gaze, he looked at you as if it was your fault. As if you should take the blame for daring to trust him.

Your mind jumped to every moment you let him borrow your phone, every moment you gave it to him for safekeeping, every moment you trusted him.

But I make them more than most

“We’re done.” You said, taking a final step back. You were at the door now, resting a hand on the handle.

“No, wait-” He rushed towards you, pulling on your wrist. “Please, hear me out.”

“Hear you out?” Your voice was louder than you expected, and if stragglers from the party weren’t staring at you already, they definitely were now. “You looked through my phone?”

You couldn’t believe this. You felt like your head was spinning. Pulling away, you threw the door open, storming outside, hearing his footsteps following just behind you.

“It was just to see what the voicemail said! I swear, I just- I did it 'cause I love you!”

You froze.

Neither of you had said those words yet.

Spinning around, you glared at him, desperately trying to ignore the tears welling up in your eyes. “No, you don’t!”

He caught up to you almost immediately, putting both hands on your shoulders. “I swear, I just did it 'cause I didn’t want you to get all confused. I know you used to have feelings for him…”

Used to?

“What did he say?” You asked, forcing yourself not to look away from him.

“Please-”

“What. Did. He. Say.” His touch on your shoulders was making you feel sick, but you didn’t pull away. Not yet.

“He- he said he loved you. Kept going on about how I wasn’t treating you right, that he would treat you better-”

“He’s right.” Finally pulling away, you gave him as firm of a look as you could manage with tears in your eyes.

And it's my fault that I live my life

“I can’t believe you.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, turning away from him and walking away from the beach. The party had almost entirely died down by now, but you could still feel every eye on you as you stormed away from Roman, wiping angry tears from your eyes.

He called after you, but you refused to turn around. Your mind had already shifted to the thought of JJ, wondering if he was okay.

You walked past a few groups of people before you finally made it out of the sand, reaching the street.

Faintly, you could still hear him calling after you, begging you to reconsider and give him a second chance. His voice sounded desperate like he was starting to cry.

Sniffling, you wiped away another tear that slipped down your cheek.

You still didn’t turn around.

Running away from ghosts

The Chateau wasn’t very far from the party, but it was still a bit of a walk. Long enough that the times you’d wanted to walk back, JJ never let you go alone.

You sighed at the memory, kicking a rock as you took another step.

It didn’t help that after five minutes, you felt a droplet of water hit you. It was starting to rain.

Still, you continued on, the thought of JJ sitting alone in the guest room of the Chateau only encouraging you further. Logically, you knew he could reach out to John B, Pope, or Kiara if he wanted to. But you also knew he wouldn’t. He had a tendency to shut down, pushing people away in his worst moments.

You walked right past his house, knowing better than to check to see if he was even home. Especially after a party, there was no way he’d be going home like that.

The rain continued to fall, growing quickly from a small drizzle into pouring rain. It didn’t take long for your clothes to be soaked through before you even made it halfway to the house.

Too many skeletons

As you trudged down the street, you couldn’t help but think about JJ. You’d been avoiding him and the pogues for weeks. You knew they weren’t stupid enough to know you were pushing them away, saying no every time they wanted to hang out with you. Part of you worried he wouldn’t even want to see you again, but you couldn’t let it happen. You needed to talk to him again.

The last time you hung out with JJ alone felt like years ago. Sure, you’d hung out with the pogues and he’d been there, but you and JJ hadn’t hung out just the two of you in forever.

He snuck in through your window – you started keeping a ladder by it just in case ever since the second time he showed up unannounced. He brought snacks and sat next to you in your bed while you watched movies for hours.

Despite the rain and the tears streaming down your face, you smiled at the memory before your face quickly fell, remembering just how long ago it was. It happened about a week before you started dating Roman. A week before your relationship with JJ got tense and distant.

How could you be so stupid? How could you let Roman ruin everything?

Another tear slipped down your face, mixing with the rain.

Too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been

After a while, you looked up, seeing the Chateau in the distance. You picked up your pace, a newfound energy in you once your destination was in sight.

The lights were on, and through one of the windows, you could see someone moving around. Squinting, you noticed it couldn’t be JJ. The movements were too casual, and the silhouette wasn’t quite right.

“John B,” You whispered, running a hand over your face to wipe off some of the rainwater that covered you.

When you got closer, you saw Kiara and Pope sitting outside on the covered porch. They immediately halted their conversation when they saw you, staring wide-eyed.

“Uh,” You walked up the steps, facing them nervously. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Kiara gave you a tight smile, glancing at Pope, the two having a silent conversation.

“How’s Roman’s face?” Pope asked, earning another look from Kiara.

“He’s… I don’t know, I-” You stopped, having so much you wanted to say, but you couldn’t form a coherent sentence. After a moment, you took a shaky breath. “I kinda just broke up with him.”

“Oh shit.” Pope leaned forward in his seat.

“You did? Oh my god.” You could tell from the look in Kiara’s eyes that her first thought was JJ. She was the first one you told about how in love with him you were, after all.

There was a beat of silence, where none of you knew what to say.

“He’s, uh, he’s inside,” Kiara said quietly, nodding towards the house.

You nodded, turning away from them to knock at the door.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

You heard immediate shuffling once you knocked at the door.

It wasn’t long before John B pulled the door open, freezing when he saw you.

“Can I see him?” You asked, not even realizing you were still shivering from the rain.

“Uh,” He glanced behind him, craning his neck to look down the hall to the guest room where the door was still shut.

“Please.” John B looked back at you, seeing the desperation in your eyes.

“Yeah. He’s in his room.”

He stepped aside and you walked into the Chateau. The instant you were inside, you felt the memories flooding back to you. It was painful, realizing that you were pushing your best friends away.

“Need a towel?” John B’s voice brought you out of your daze. “You’re kinda-” He gestured vaguely to you, shivering and soaked to the bone.

You had half a mind to say no, wanting nothing more than to beeling to the guest room to see JJ. Still, John B was already grabbing a towel, tossing it into your arms.

Quickly, you wiped it over your face, drying off as much as you could. You were still freezing, but you felt slightly better.

“Thank you.” Carefully, you set the towel down, now looking down the hallway where the guest room was.

At first, your steps were slow, but by the time you reached the door, you were practically running.

You're the one that I miss the most

You burst through the door, freezing in your tracks when you saw JJ.

He was sat at the head of the bed, covering his face with his hands, not looking up at you. His hair was messed up, and you could clearly see the bruises and cuts along his knuckles, still fresh from the fight. You didn’t get a good glimpse of his face at the party, and you knew it was going to kill you to see what Roman did to him.

At the sound of the door opening, JJ sighed quietly. He looked so defeated.

“John B, can you just-”

“JJ.” You breathed out, making him visibly tense. He looked up quickly, disbelief in his eyes.

You couldn’t form any words past his name, staring at the boy you loved for so long. There were tear stains on his face, and the sight almost destroyed you. Seeing him sitting there, staring back at you, just as speechless as you felt, made your heart swell.

The feeling faded almost instantly, and you felt sick to your stomach when his gaze shifted, and a wave of forced indifference fell over his features.

My brain holds too many poisons

“What are you doing here?” His voice had a harshness to it that you fought hard to ignore.

“I-” You tried to speak, but your voice kept getting caught in your throat.

All you could do was stare at him. How much he’d changed in two weeks and how little he changed at the same time. He looked endlessly tired, and he had his guard up in a way he didn’t have since the two of you met.

“JJ-”

“You shouldn’t be here. Don’t you have a boyfriend to be taking care of?” The coldness in his voice made you shrink in on yourself.

“I don’t- I was-” You forced yourself to inhale, before exhaling slowly. “I was worried about you.”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You shouldn’t be.” His voice wasn’t as harsh now, but you could hear the bitterness behind it.

The fact that you hurt JJ hurt you so much that you almost started crying again.

They helped me make the wrong choices

He’s refusing to look at you, but you can still see the damage Roman had done.

Slowly, you walked toward him, gently lifting his chin to make him look at you, your gaze softening at how bad his face looked. It was slightly reassuring to see that they didn’t look nearly as bad as Roman’s looked, but it hurt more seeing JJ hurt like this.

He moved your hand away, being gentle with you despite the glare still on his face.

“John B cleaned me up. Why are you here?”

“He didn’t do a very good job.” You said, noticing the first aid kit and the damp cloth still sitting on the nightstand.

Opening it, you inspect what supplies you have to work with, before grabbing the cloth and turning back to JJ.

“Can I?”

He nodded ever so slightly, not looking at you.

As carefully as you could, you began to clean up his face. He had a busted lip, and there was a cut under one of his eyes with a bruise forming around it. When he hissed in pain at your touch, you stop for a moment, moving as gently and carefully as possible.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

Once you finished up, you took a step back to inspect his face. He still won’t look up at you, and you understood why. You couldn’t blame him for being angry.

“I fucked up, I know.” You sighed, picking the damp cloth back up.

JJ said nothing, finally looking at you while you carefully picked up his hand, cradling it in yours. You inspected the bruises along his knuckles, frowning.

“This looks bad.” You muttered, dabbing the wet cloth over the few cuts on his hand.

“Looks worse than it feels.” He said, his voice softer now. It didn’t have the same coldness to it anymore, and you had to stop yourself from tearing up at the thought that he just might forgive you.

You stayed silent for a while, trying to ignore JJ’s gaze burning into you while you worked on his hand. JJ was the one to break the silence, shifting slightly in his spot on the bed.

“You’re soaking wet.” There was a rasp to his voice while he observed you, noticing the slight shiver while your clothes clung to your body.

“It started raining while I was running over here.” You replied now that you finished cleaning his knuckles, voice so quiet JJ had to strain to hear you.

But I make them more than most

Hesitantly, you took a seat next to him on the bed, leaning back against the headboard.

“I never knew, you know.” You tucked your knees close to your chest, not looking at him. “How you felt.”

“Then why did you ignore me? You told me not to speak to you again-” JJ stopped himself, noticing the way he was raising his voice. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Just- why?”

“My boyfriend.” You started, resting your head on your knees. Still, you couldn’t look at him, a deep-rooted shame building within you, disappointed at yourself for listening to Roman blindly. “He told me you were trying to ruin my relationship.”

JJ rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath. He inhaled sharply, opening his mouth to speak again when you stopped him.

“I broke up with him.”

Now, JJ’s full focus was on you, the anger in his eyes dying just a little. “You what?”

“I didn’t know about the voicemail.” You continued, shifting a little in your seat.

JJ reached a hand out, resting it on your leg as a silent reminder.

A reminder that he’s here for you. After everything.

And it's my fault that I live my life

“I didn’t know, I really didn’t.” You said quietly, cringing at the way your voice broke.

The bed dipped a little when JJ moved, leaning forward to look at you.

“Hey-”

“He deleted it, I never-” You turn slightly to look at him, realizing just how close he was to you now. “I never heard it.”

“It’s fine, I was drunk. It was a stupid mistake. I’m sorry it happened.” He looked away from you for only a moment before his eyes were on you again. “I didn’t mean to ruin our friendship.”

“You didn’t. You didn’t do anything.” You turned your attention to JJ’s hand still on your leg, his thumb rubbing up and down.

“Y/N-” He started, sighing softly.

“No, JJ, don’t.” You knew JJ well enough to know he would start blaming himself, and you tried to put a stop to it, putting your hands on either side of his face.

Running away from ghosts

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t ruin anything. I shouldn’t have listened to him, he-” With a start, you realized how close you were to JJ now, not having the heart to move your hands away from his face.

“Okay. I believe you. It wasn’t my fault.” He said, unable to tear his gaze away from you.

“He’s an asshole.” You tried to laugh it off, but it fell short when you saw JJ’s eyes dart down to your lips before focusing back on your eyes.

“So,” He whispered, one of his hands resting on your waist, the other still on your leg. “Why did you come here, anyway?”

The question hung in the air, floating in the small space between you and JJ. He was only inches away, and it was becoming increasingly hard to focus on anything other than the urge to kiss him.

“Y/N?” He spoke up again when you didn’t respond. But who could blame you? He was so close, looking at you so softly that it was making your brain short-circuit.

“I needed to see you.” You finally said, looking between JJ’s eyes and his lips.

JJ didn’t respond, staring at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher.

Too many skeletons

“Why did you need to see me?” He asked after what felt like forever.

“I was worried about you. I had to make sure you were okay.” Your voice was soft, whispering like the words were meant for JJ alone.

“I’m okay.” He said, his voice holding the same softness yours did.

Reluctantly, you pulled away from him, dropping your hands to your lap. JJ, however, kept his hands on you, bringing the hand on your waist up to rub your arm.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for letting Roman ruin our friendship. I just- I was just scared.” You couldn’t look up at him, dropping your gaze down to your lap.

“Scared of what?” He leaned forward slightly, still needing to be so close to you.

“I think I was just scared of my feelings.” The second the words left your mouth, you felt warm all over, not wanting to be rejected by JJ after everything.

“Your feelings?”

You nodded, keeping your attention down, fiddling with the blanket laid over the top of the bed.

Too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been

“I’ve always liked you, JJ. I’ve- I’ve always loved you.”

JJ’s breath hitched, and you could hear him whisper your name. Still, you don’t look up at him, unable to make eye contact with how vulnerable you felt.

“Hey.” His voice is soft, and you don’t move away when one of his hands rests over yours. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Weakly, you looked up at him, seeing a fondness in his eyes that you’d never seen before. There was a smile pulling at his lips

You found yourself entranced by the look in his eyes, unable to look away.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

“It was stupid, I shouldn’t have left you because he told me to.” He leaned closer, listening to your apology with a newfound giddiness. “I’m sorry.”

There was a frown on your face despite the growing smile on his own face.

“You love me?”

For a moment, you were surprised, suddenly feeling very vulnerable with the way JJ was looking at you. It felt like he could see into your soul, unearthing every secret you’d ever had.

“I-” There was a part of you that wanted to deny it, to save face and tell him you didn’t mean it. But something about the way he was staring at you like you held all the stars in your eyes made you stop. “Yeah. Yeah, I love you. Of course I do, JJ.”

His grin grew wider, and he leaned closer still.

You're the one that I miss the most

JJ put one hand on your cheek, his other hand still resting over your hand. As gently as he could, he pulled you toward him until your face was inches away from his.

Your breath gets caught in your throat, and you could feel your heart beating fast in your chest.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, so close to you that his nose was touching yours.

Instead of responding, you closed the distance between you two, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck while he brought you closer.

Finally, when you pulled back for air, JJ rested his forehead against yours.

“I missed you.” He mumbled, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

You grinned, feeling like your heart might beat entirely out of your chest as you shut him up with another kiss. It was a silent agreement between the two of you, to never leave again.

JJ was absolutely totally undeniably completely hopelessly in love with you. and you had no idea. It wasn't like it wasn't obvious. The way he looked at you with hearts in his eyes.

Other people noticed it too the way JJ looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. John B, Pope and Kie could tell their friend was in love.

"Does she ever talk about me?" JJ asked Kiara as they were out on the boat.

You were working and missed out on the boat day but you didn't mind you were gonna catch up with them later.

"I mean she doesn't not talk about you." Kiara replied.

"Come on Kie, I know you guys have your girls night. She has to say something" JJ begged.

"I think she loves you as a friend" Kie offered.

"You don't ask her about me?" JJ frowned.

"Not really slipped my mind."

"Well next time you see her will you." JJ asked.

"oh no i'm not getting in the middle of it." Kiara reasoned.

"You already are in the middle of it."

Kiara turned away from JJ shaking her head and looking out at the ocean. John B was driving the boat back to the château after a day of swimming and fishing.

Later that day when it started to turn into the evening you came over bringing snacks with you for a movie night.

You knocked on the door and then entered the château.

"Hey I brought snacks," you shouted hoping they could hear you.

"thank you y/n" John B acknowledged.

You walked into the living room ready for a chill night with your friends.

JJ patted the seat next to him on the couch gesturing for you to come sit next to him.

"Sit with me" JJ spoke.

You climbed over Pope and Kiara who were on the floor cozied with blankets and a air mattress.

John B and Sarah were on the couch too. The space JJ pointed to was small and so you sat down a little squished.

The movie started and everyone settled down. However, you seemed to inch closer to JJ progressively throughout the movie.

It got to the point where half your body was on top of him. Then JJ took it upon himself to haul you onto his lap.

"There. That's better huh," JJ whispered in your ear.

You simply nodded focusing your attention on the TV.

Near the end of the movie you started to grow restless. You shifted around and ended up straddling JJ's lap. Now you were facing him.

"Hi there princess."

"Hi"

"Shhh" Sarah hissed.

You then proceeded to lay your head on his shoulder, nose nudging at his neck. Eventually you fell asleep.

There wasn't that much left of the movie. JJ was shocked you felt comfortable enough to fall asleep on him. He felt like he was in heaven. He couldn't believe it, your soft breaths hitting his neck. Occasionally, JJ would rub your back, soothing his hand up and down. When the movie was over and the snacks have been eaten JJ got up.

"Alright guys Im gonna hit the hay, and get this one to bed."

Your legs unconsciously wrapped around JJ's waist. JJ carried you by the back of your thighs.

When JJ made it to his room he laid you down on his bed. He brought the covers up to your neck and kissed your forehead.

"Good night angel."

JJ went to the hall closet for some blankets. Then he made himself comfortable on the floor.

—————

You woke up from one of the best sleeps you've ever had. Maybe it was JJ's scent in the sheets or being in his bed but you were unbelievably comfortable.

You started to sit up when you did you noticed a mop of blonde hair peaking out from a blanket on the floor.

He slept on the floor? You were shocked. What a gentleman. You would have been fine sharing with him though.

"JJ," you called to him.

"JJ."

When you got no response you threw a pillow at him.

JJ propped himself up on one arm and threw you a nasty glare.

"Seriously" JJ asked.

You scrunched up your nose, "You weren't waking up."

"So you through a pillow at me?"

"Yes." you laughed.

And JJ who loved the sound of your laughter grinned.

"Why'd you sleep on the floor?" You asked curiously.

"I wanted you to have the bed," JJ spoke sincerely.

"You could have shared with me," you reasoned.

JJ hitched his throat. The thought of you sharing a bed with him had his heart hammering in his chest. He wondered if you would have cuddled with him. No that he couldn't handle. He was practically blushing.

"No baby girl you just seemed so tired I didn't want to disturb you." JJ responded. He didn't even notice the pet name. It just flowed out of his mouth so naturally he didn't even notice how flustered it made you.

You buried your face in your hands hiding your flushed cheeks and smile.

When you uncovered your face and looked at him JJ was already looking at you. To him, you looked breathtaking. Your hair was messy and your lips looked plump. Your face looked ethereal. JJ could feel his blood rushing through his body. Then he got himself thinking, if he could wake up to this beautiful sight, to her, every morning he would die a happy man.

————————

The next day you all went over to Sarah's house to go swimming.

The boys came to pick you up at your house since yours was closest to Sarah's. You were the last stop.

You were wearing a purple bikini and some jean shorts over it. When you entered the twinkie JJ took notice to your lack of clothes and exposed skin. You looked hot and JJ was practically drooling.

Your legs were pressed together in the back of the twinkie as John B drove. Pope was in the front seat leaving Kie, JJ, and you in the back.

JJ reached over and put a hand on your thigh. This causing you to blush furiously. This action unnoticed by kie.

"Hi pretty girl," JJ whispered.

"Hi," you whispered back.

The rest of the drive over to Sarah's house was quick and you all casually conversed.

"Alright ladies, here we are," John B shared.

JJ was first to hop out of the van. The rest of you quickly followed.

After entering Tanny hill you all headed to the pool area. Sarah was happy to host everyone over.

The pool was huge and you forgot how well off kooks are.

"Here are some towels," Sarah commented.

"Thank you."

The pogues were lounging around the pool no one was going on just yet.

You stripped down into your bikini. Not even 10 seconds after you did so JJ was picking you up bridal style.

"JJ don't you dare."

JJ swung you over the edge of the pool and acted like he was going to drop you by releasing you from his grip over the ledge. Each time he would fake drop you you would cling onto him a little tighter. He would fake drop you three times and on the fourth he actually threw you in.

When you surfaced you gave JJ the stink eye.

"Your welcome," JJ offered.

John B got up and made his way to sneak up behind JJ. It only took one shove for JJ to end up in the water.

"Hey!" JJ said as he surfaced wiping his face.

"Thank you John B," you voiced.

"Anytime."

In no time the rest of the pogues joined you and JJ in the water. Pretty soon everyone was splashing each other.

You all had a good time swimming and splashing.

About an hour or two later you sat in a lounge chair working on your tan.

Kiara came and sat by you.

"So tell me what's going on between you and JJ," she spoke resting her chin in her hand and her elbows on her knees.

"What do you mean? There is nothing going on between us," you stated shocked.

"Just admit you like him already would you," Kiara put out.

"I don't know what your talking about," you smiled smugly.

Your smile did not go unnoticed by Kiara who just shook her head and looked the other way.

JJ walked over to you and sat at the end of your lounge chair.

"What are you guys talking about?" JJ says nonchalantly.

"Nothing," you and Kiara say at the same time.

"Right we'll I was wondering if y/n wanted to come surfing with me tomorrow morning?" JJ placed his hand on your knee and uses his thumb to stroke the area.

His actions don't go unnoticed by you but you let him touch you as you found it sweet and endearing.

"Yeah i'd love to go surfing with you J," you added.

"Great. It's a date."

———————

You woke up on the pull out couch in John Bs den. It was all a haze waking up to hushed voices in the living room. The sun peaking through the window.

"Hey sleepy head." JJ's voice rang through your ears. You let out a groan and covered your head with a pillow.

JJ grabbed the pillow and threw it on the other side of the bed. "Ready to go surfing?"

JJ's eyes were bright and he had a faint smile on his lips. Truth be told he was excited to spend some alone time with you. He was deeply in love with you and you were absolutely clueless.

"Yeah give me a minute."

——————

You and JJ sat on the sand after crushing the waves. JJ had his arm around you.

"Thank you for coming out with me." JJ spoke softly, digging his hands into the sand at his place next to you.

"Yeah no problem, the waves were great," you smiled.

JJ was at war with himself. He desperately wanted to tell you how he feels about you. How he loves you so much. He wanted to shout it from the roof tops. He just didn't know how you felt and it was torture. He didn't think you liked him back but then again he didn't know for sure. Should he risk everything including you friendship and tell you.

JJ was conflicted. Right now was the perfect opportunity. You were alone overlooking the beach. And here you are sat next to him without a clue that his heart is beating faster with you next to him. JJ finally decided to do the next best thing: ask you out.

"Hey, So I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner with me?"

"With the other pogues?" you questioned.

"No it would be just us." JJ answered.

"Like a date?"

JJ panicked. "No not a date. Just two friends hanging out."

"Oh okay. Yeah I'd love to."

__________

You and JJ had your dinner and it was lovely. You guys talked and laughed like there was no tomorrow. Your legs touched under the table and you felt like you were floating.

It was three days after the dinner when you were walking to the château.

It was a 5 minute walk but you decided to stop at the store to get some beer, making your walk a little longer.

You were almost to the store when a truck pulled up right next to you. To your horror it was Rafe and Topper.

"Hey there girlie," Rafe commented stepping out of the truck.

"Rafe." You gave him a mean look.

As he got closer to you, you could see his face more clearly. He had a black eye and a busted lip.

"What happened to you?" You asked, not that you really cared.

"Your little boyfriend is what happened. But you should see him." He whistled, "Not pretty."

"I swear if you hurt him-"

"What? What can you possibly do to me." Rafe spoke.

Without thinking you threw a punch at Rafe hitting him in the nose.

"You little shit!" Rafe snarled.

"Topper grab her!" Rafe shouted.

Topper took your hands and held them behind your back holding you in place.

"That pogue really got me. Now it's time for some payback."

Topper held you down while Rafe hit you. You were able to kick him in the balls but he was beating you pretty badly.

All of a sudden the three of you herd a siren. Topper let you go immediately and tried to act natural.

Sheriff Peterkin stepped out of the car.

"What's going on here?" she questioned.

"Nothing sheriff." Rafe yelled.

"Why don't you run along and get out of here," sheriff peterkin announced.

Rafe and Topper were quick to move. They quickly drove off not wanting to get in trouble.

"You okay miss."

"I'm fine," you whispered.

Then you fell to the ground and everything went dark.

—————

When you first woke up you were confused as to where you were. Slowly becoming conscious, you realized you were at the police station.

"Oh good your awake. I'd like to see you in here please." Sheriff peterkin ordered.

You slowly got up and made your way to her office.

"Have a seat."

You sat down quickly realizing that everything in your body ached.

"Now who did this to you?"

"I think you know," you replied weakly.

"damn it!" she cursed.

"Would you like to press charges?"

"No. I just want to go home," you spoke truthfully.

"I highly advise-"

You cut her off, "I just want to leave please."

"Ok." She motioned for you to exit the room. You breathed a breath of relief.

On your way out you looked at the time. It was almost 3pm. You were supposed to be a John Bs an hour ago.

You slowly but surely made your way over to the château.

When you arrived the pogues were all out in the porch. You were anxious to face JJ because you don't know how he's going to react.

You walked up to the lawn and the pogues could see a shadowy figure. When you stepped into the light on the porch all the pogues gasped.

Your face was badly bruised.

JJ stood up. "What the fuck!"

"JJ-"

"No stop. Who did this to you?"

"Rafe."

JJ started walking. "I'll kill him."

"No JJ. Please don't," you pleaded.

JJ was fuming. How dare someone hurt his girl. JJ felt a little bit guilty because he fought Rafe a couple days ago.

"It's all my fault I shouldn't of provoked him. I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know he would come after me. it's ok."

"It's not ok," JJ expressed.

JJ took your hand and led you to the bathroom. He had you hop up on the sink. He began cleaning your wounds.

"I can't believe he laid his hands on you." JJ spoke.

"I'm fine JJ."

"Look at you. No your not."

JJ dabbed at your eye and you winced.

"Sorry," JJ apologized.

When JJ was just about finished assessing your injuries he began to speak. "I can't do this. This is breaking my heart."

"JJ wha-"

"No let me finish."

"I can't stand seeing you hurt like this. My chest physically hurts and I feel like i'm going crazy because Im crazy about you. I can't pretend like i'm not in love with you when I am."

JJ's chest was rising up and down. He was breaking down over his love for you. He was ripped to shreds at the sight of you hurt. It tore him apart.

"JJ I have always loved you," you confessed.

As if he was holding his breath he let out all the air in his lungs. He gave you a bright smile.

JJ wasted no time as he leaned forward in his spot between his legs. He cradled your face in his hands and placed his lips on yours. The kiss was quick and frantic.

You were surprised at the passionate nature of the kiss. Your stomach was tingly. Your mouths explored each other's. When the need for air became too strong you pulled away.

But nevertheless, no matter how many years of praised experience you had behind you, the first days never got easier.

You took a deep breath as you walked into your class and looked around the walls decorated by you, in pretty pastel posters, encouraging learning in a calming atmosphere. Fake flowers accessorised the corners, bringing a piece of yourself into class with you. The wall painted with rainbows, moons, stars and suns that you have worked on for a week straight now stood in all it's glory, making you smile and hoping it would do the same to the kids soon arriving.

The only thing they lacked was a series of cloud shaped shelves that you bought for the purpose of storing paint and paintbrushes. However, you didn't have the tools to put them up and frankly you didn't want to do a sloppy job, in fear of them falling down. So for the time being, you stored them safely in the corner of the room, as you didn't get a chance to take them home to figure out what to do with them.

Your thoughts were interrupted by sound of giggles and a soft knock on your open door, as your lips curved upwards into an excited smile. Regardless of the nerves plaguing your mind, eagerness was the forthcoming emotion in your heart the second you laid your eyes on the small ponytails and colourful backpacks flooding in.

It wasn't long until most chairs were occupied, barbies and cars cluttered the tables and chatter filled the air, making your heart swell in adoration for how lucky you were to be a leading figure in these little people's lives.

After a quick headcount that you measured against your registrar, you realised there was still a student missing, making you frown a little, hoping it wasn't a last minute drop out.

A shuffling of shoes and encouraging words of pleas could be heard in the corridor before your mind could wander any further, until a soft knock echoed on the door that opened every so slightly. You stood up and made your way towards the people behind, only to be met with the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever come across, slightly taking you off guard.

"I'm sorry we're late. This one's not good at time keeping." The man spoke with a light chuckle as he stroked the little girl's hair who was looking around with a frown, but curious eyes.

"No problem. We haven't started yet." You shrugged as you tried to keep your composure the more you took the pair in. The small amount of stubble was a sweet contrast to the blonde mop of hair and husky voice, a kind but guilty smile playing on his lips made you weak in the knees and you scolded yourself for the thoughts clouding your mind. It seemed he had taken an interest in you too, perhaps only for the reason that he had not seen you before, but his eyes too wandered around your face, taking in your features. You swore his cheeks flushed to a small tint of red, but you shook the thoughts away as quickly as they came. 'He's probably married' you convinced yourself as you glanced at his hands, only cursing yourself further at the pang in your chest when you found the lack of a gold band around his fingers.

"And who do we have here?" You crouched down in front of the little girl, deciding to divert your attention. Her long hair was clipped away from her face, shade matching her father's and eyes the same ocean swirling behind them, except the clear view of fearfulness that was visible to you as you had seen it so many times.

The girl slowly looked up at her dad who gave her a small nod of approval and encouragement, before she turned her gaze back to you, a small hint of a blush creeping on her puffy cheeks before she spoke.

"I'm Ava." She spoke as she played with her thumbs and crinkled her nose, making your heart skip a beat from her adorable behaviour.

"Nice to meet you Ava. I'm Miss Y/N." You introduced yourself and earned a shy smile from the girl, counting it as a small victory.

Her eyes returned to the scene behind you as she curiously observed the children playing, the pictures on the wall and the colourful carpet on the floor before her gaze landed on the one thing that wasn't purposefully planted in the classroom.

"What's under the blanket?" She pointed towards the back of the room and a small chuckle left your lips. None of the other children had spotted your mistake yet, so it was bound to happen at some point.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but it's only a few shelves I didn't get a chance to put up. Turns out the school doesn't own an electric screwdriver." You shook your head amused as you looked up at the man who you were yet to ask the name of, only to find him watching your interaction with his daughter with fondness and warmth, causing your belly to drop.

"I can put them up for you. If you want." He smiled as he scratched the back of his neck, seemingly embarrassed from his words that had caught you off guard too.

"You don't have to do that." You fussed, not wanting to be of a burden but he shook his head and continued before you could protest anymore.

"It's fine. I have the tools in my car. I can do them when I collect Ava this afternoon." He mused, making his offer seem like it was completely natural, his tone dismissive of your concerns.

"I would really appreciate that Mr.." You started, suddenly aware he hasn't introduced himself yet.

"Oh, just call me JJ. JJ Maybank." He smiled as he subconsciously played with his daughters hair, a gesture of reassurance to the little girl who still seemed a little unsure about where she was.

"Thank you JJ." You nodded in acceptance and you stood up and took Ava’s backpack out of his grasp, his fingers brushing against yours for a split second as a shock of electricity burned against your fingerprints from the touch, making you feel queasy.

"What do you say Ava, you feel like painting some pictures with me today?" You smiled reassuringly at the little girl as you held your other hand towards her, happiness flowing through you at the sudden twinkle of interest in her eyes.

"Can I paint a giraffe?" She asked eagerly, the question making you and JJ laugh simultaneously, the sound like a soothing melody to your ears that you wished could hear over and over again.

"You can paint anything you want." You mused, earning a wide smile from Ava as she put her hand in yours and stepped into the classroom.

"I'm staying daddy. I'll paint you a zebra too." She looked back at her dad excitedly, the exchange making him giggle as he crouched down and planted a kiss on her forehead, eyes filled with proudness and a hint of sadness to be leaving her behind for the day.

"I would love that sweetheart. Have fun. I'll pick you up in a bit." He waved and blew another kiss which Ava caught with a shriek and pressed her palm on her cheek, making her dad swoon.

It was cool for late June, a crisp 57 by the time Eleven P.M. rolled around. Your arms had long been covered in goosebumps in contrast to the warmth that hung in your chest and cheeks from the dozens of watered-down solo cups you’d downed in the hours prior, many opponents that you had challenged in chugging competitions having brought you more and more beer to host rematches. It was yet another glorious night at the Boneyard, surrounded by Kooks and Pogues alike, with even a few Tourons hanging around the outskirts of the driftwood that laid around the beach. It was beautiful and chaotic. There were no expectations, and labels held little weight here.

It was right where you wanted to be.

What you didn’t want, however, was to continue to catch the eyes of the island’s resident troublemaker. It had been happening since you absolutely demolished John Booker Routledge, one of your close friends, in a shotgunning contest with the few canned beers that had been brought with you that night, demolishing his ego. JJ Maybank, all deep blue eyes and sandy hair falling into his face, had been sneaking glances at you ever since you had wiped the foamy liquid off of your lips with the pad of your thumb. It was making your skin crawl.

You couldn’t tell if your skin was crawling in a bad way, like you couldn’t get the intense weight of his eyes off of your shoulders, or in a good way, like you enjoyed having him overanalyzing your every move, studying the way your skin shone in the crescent moonlight. The alcohol-fueled mess that was your brain wanted to go over to him and ask outright, maybe even figure out why he’d been more interested in talking to you alone recently, or why he had suddenly made it a point to tap the side of your thigh when he walked past you in greeting. Your common sense, however, was screaming from the deepest corner of your head to leave it alone, because that’s just how he is. It could become an embarrassing situation and you’d be out a friend.

Instead of dwelling on it more, you quietly exited a conversation with Topper Thornton and whatever his girl of the week’s name was and all of her friends in favor of crossing the beach toward the keg. Pope, who looked exhausted and like he wanted to fall asleep next to the keg, smiled weakly as you walked up, hands holding onto your biceps in an attempt to maintain some body heat. “You back for another one?”

“Yeah. Gotta warm up somehow,” Your joke was stupid enough to make you cringe, but the sentiment was warm enough to make the boy before you smile. “How’s your night going? You look like you want to be anywhere else but here.”

“Eh. Just not feeling it tonight, I guess,” He shrugged, handing you back the cup you had given him to fill. “We had a late night. Kickback at the Chât, early morning clean up, then work, then surfing. Wiped me clean out.”

“Jesus. Sounds like a doozy,” You whistled, your spine shivering. “Well, I’m glad I got to see you. My family’s in town and I’ve been so held up that I haven’t gotten a chance to come down by you guys at all. I miss it.”

“We miss you too,” His eye contact wavered for a split second to right over your shoulder. “Some more than others.”

Your posture straightened immediately at the realization that JJ was most definitely behind you, and he was definitely staring. Again. It made your chest squeeze slightly, prompting you to take a swig of the beer in your hand. “Is something up with him? I feel like he’s been acting different lately.”

“Mhm. There’s definitely something up,” Pope’s voice became high-pitched all of a sudden, a smile jumping to his face. “You should go talk to him about it. He won’t tell us anything, maybe he’ll talk to you.”

“You know! Oh my god, you know what’s bothering him,” You clocked him immediately, gaze narrowing as a blush crept up your neck. “Just tell me what he told you!”

“Can’t tell you what I don’t know,” He shrugged. “Sorry.”

“You suck. Actually,” You deadpanned, downing the rest of the beer and handing him your cup, inhibitions thrown out of the proverbial window. “Hold this. Don’t lose it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Asshole,” You huffed, no real animosity behind your words as you pivoted on the toe of your platform converse, the rubber bottom digging into the sand. JJ wasn’t far at all, only a few feet away on a fallen log. His gaze hadn’t faltered when you turned around, his smile warm as you walked toward him.

“Hey, pretty,” He quipped, looking up at you. His eyes sparkled in the dim light, his crooked smile almost glinting. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Do you think there’s any spare sweatshirts or anything in the Twinkie?” You asked, coming up with an excuse to one, get him alone, and two, steal the marina crewneck that you know he kept in the van. He took it off after every shift, put it right on the back bench, and left it for the night before he had to bring it in to wash the next day. “I’m freezing.”

“I’m sure there’s something,” He shrugged like he didn’t just eavesdrop on your entire conversation with Pope. “Check the back, maybe?”

“Can you walk with me? I don’t want to go all the way to the parking lot alone,” You put in extra effort to sound as innocent about the whole ordeal as possible, knowing that your mouth was seconds away from that last beer beginning to weigh on your senses and finally shutting off your common sense. “Plus, I need to get away for a second, I think. Clear my head.”

“Clear your head?” He cocked his head to the side before rising to his feet, much like a puppy. He mirrored your feigned innocence with ease. “Well, since you asked so nicely…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” You huffed out a quiet laugh, leading the two of you forward. It was quiet until the beach started turning into decaying wood planks and whispers of dried-out grass beneath your feet, the parking lot within view. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. Ask away, sunshine,” He answered quicker than you assumed he would, the pet name that rolled off his tongue making your cheek and ears warm.

“If I ask, will you answer honestly?” You wheeled around, giving him a pointed look as you walked backward. “I won’t ask if you don’t answer honestly.”

“Scouts honor,” He saluted, his boyish smile bright enough to settle the rattling in your chest. “I promise.”

“Why have you been so different around me lately?” You turned back to face ahead, voice loud enough for him to still be able to hear you from his spot a few paces behind. “Not in like, a bad way. Just different.”

“What do you mean?” He asked as the two of you reached the Twinkie, the brown vehicle standing before you in all of its run-down glory.

You easily pull open the back door once JJ unlocks it, sliding the back open and revealing the cozy and disorganized interior. The sweatshirt you knew would be inside sat in all of its glory on the back bench, waiting for you. “This. Why do you always leave this here?”

“Why do you think I leave it on the bench?” He followed you as you climbed inside, your knees digging into metal grooves where the floor panels met. He leaned against the doorway as you grabbed the sweatshirt in question, gray fabric with a few tiny holes in the collar clutched in your hands.

“JJ,” You sighed pointedly, sitting back on your feet and glaring at him. “You know exactly what I’m getting at. Stop beating around the bush.”

“Then why are you asking?”

The question made you grow still, fabric pulled half over your head and your heart stuttering in your chest. You stayed like that for a moment before fully pulling on the sweatshirt, hair now a little wild and out of place. “Why do you leave it for me? You never offer it to Kie o-or Sarah—”

“Because I don’t want them wearing it. I’d much rather see you wear it,” He poked at the top of your thigh from where you kneeled beside him, looking up at him. “It looks best on you.”

“And that! You do that all the time now and you were staring and you always want to just talk to me and not everyone else,” You blurted, frustrated with how the subject was continually danced around. “I mean, It’s not like I don’t like you doing all of that stuff, but I don’t get why. I can’t read you.”

“Sweetheart,” He started, breath catching in his throat. You could tell he was nervous, his fingers pulling at his rings and spinning them quietly. “I didn’t know you noticed all of that.”

“Of course I did. I pay too much attention to you for me to not notice things,” It was your turn to grow bashful, eyes looking down at your own hands. “Like a little too much. I’ve tried to ignore the fact that I think about you as much as I do, you know.”

“You think about me?” You could see him lift his head in your peripheral, your own eyes lifting to catch the boyish smile on his lips. Your heart soared at the sight. “I’m flattered, sweetheart. Honored, actually.”

You shove at his arm, with no animosity behind your actions. In fact, you laugh softly as you do so, cheeks warm as you begin to grin shyly. “Shut up, asshole.”

“The sentiment is mutual, don’t worry,” He says instead of continuing the teasing, his pointer finger poking your leg again. “I wouldn’t stare at you, or talk to you, or want to be around you as much as I want to be if I didn’t.”

“Really?” Your eyes widen ever so slightly, your chest blooming with hope. “You think about me?”

“Too much for my own good,” He nods, reaching for one of your hands. Linking your pinkies, he lets them hang between the two of you. “For months now.”

“Wow. I must be blind, then,” You huff out a breath of air. “Sarah’s been listening to my bullshit for that long when you’ve been feeling the same way the whole time.”

“I wasn’t really forward about anything until recently, actually,” His pinkie squeezed yours, inviting you to echo the squeeze. You oblige immediately. “I was a little scared. Very unlike me. Risked ruining my entire reputation.”

You laughed louder at that, your free hand coming up to cover your mouth. “Your reputation?”

“Yeah. Couldn’t be caught crushing like an idiot over the prettiest girl on the whole damn island, could I?” He flirted easily, his fingers moving to fully intertwine with yours as you finally moved closer, your legs unfurling from beneath you to hang over the edge of the Twinkie’s floor. It was quiet for a moment, both of you just silently looking at your joined hands. “I really like you. I wish I’d told you earlier, man. Could’ve had all of this a lot sooner.”

“Me too,” You echoed, turning to look at him again, your faces much closer now. “But we’ve got this now, right?”

He hummed a quiet agreement, eyes drifting down to your lips for a split second, making your heart begin to race. “Can I ask you a crazy question?”

“Always.”

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, voice softer than you’d ever heard him speak. It warmed your entire body immediately, butterflies and electric nerves lighting your body with anticipation. You nodded, a tiny confirmation.

He leaned in first, and you met him halfway, lips meeting in a kiss that tasted like sunsets, drives with the windows down, the salty air around you, and summer. It was perfect, enough to make your heart beat in your ears, the prospect of what you two could make of your newfound feelings.

You couldn’t tell who pulled back first, but there wasn’t much distance put between you when your lips parted, your foreheads pressed together.

“That was perfect,” You murmured, a little stunned and butterflies at an all-time high.

–

It was no secret amongst the group that you had feelings for him, just something that wasn’t addressed. You were Little Carrera, and Kie made it clear when she introduced to the group that there would be no funny business. It was then that you were informed of the ‘no pogue-on-pogue macking’ rule.

Kie was the first to notice how your eyes lingered on the blonde when he entered the room, and she brought it up semi-casually as you guys were hanging out.

“JJ is… complicated,” She began as you guys were sitting on your bed, the movie long forgotten. “He’s great… amazing actually. But he’s not the relationship type. And you’re very…”

She trailed off, but it didn’t take much effort to fill in the blanks. On top of being considered the ‘baby’ of the group - a term you’ve grown to detest - it didn’t take long for them to notice that you’re the type of person who wears your heart on your sleeve; John B once describing you as someone with ‘big feelings’.

If you were to have JJ, you would want all of him. And JJ Maybank was many things, but willing to break down the walls he built up was not on that list. It’s funny, really. The same man who would risk his life for the people he loves has a hard time even saying the word itself. And while that stopped you from pursuing him, it wasn’t enough to diminish the way he made you feel.

Maybe it was because he welcomed you with open arms, growing the closest over your time in the group. Maybe you were holding out because you hoped that one day he would come to the revelation that you were someone he could break down those walls for. That you wouldn’t hurt him. Whatever it was, you were head over heels.

Unbeknownst to you, Kie also had a conversation with JJ not too long after.

“I’m not saying you have to be with her,” She quickly said when she noticed the shocked look on the blonde’s face as she revealed your crush. “I’m just telling you because… she’s my sister and maybe if you’re aware you can stop doing things that send her mixed signals. That is, if you don’t feel the same.”

“No,” JJ replied, wincing at the speed and how that came off. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s great. I love being around her, I just.. don’t have those feelings for her.”

He wanted to add that he instead shared those feelings for the older Carrera, but the words caught in his throat right just as he opened his mouth to do so. He’d been wanting to confess his own feelings for Kiara for months, and he assumed when she pulled him off to the side ‘to talk’ that she would be bringing up her own feelings for him.

Then again, maybe she doesn’t want him to send mixed signals to you because she doesn’t want anything to happen with you guys. What if this conversation is a way for her to find out if he has feelings for her younger sister, cause that would mean he doesn’t have them for her?

“Great.” Great?

“I mean, well, you know what I mean.” She waved off, but he desperately wanted her to tell him because he didn’t know what she meant. “Just don’t do anything to lead her on. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“I won’t hurt her,” He promised, not even really saying it to appease her. You were too good of a friend for him to intentionally hurt you. You were too good of a person for him to be that malicious, especially now knowing how you felt.

And he truly meant that promise when he made it.

But when JJ was hurt, he had the tendency to do stupid things. Very stupid things.

Which brought you guys to laying next to each other in the hammock outside of the Chateau, sharing a joint while looking at the stars. He could feel your eyes on him, and it was making it harder to tell himself to not do this stupid thing, no matter how easy it would be. It would stroke his ego, you wouldn’t question it, and he would be able to get lost in the feeling of you to forget the embarrassment of the rejection he faced earlier that day.

He finally had the balls to tell Kie how he felt, and it did not turn out how he wanted.

“Jayj..” Kie trailed off, eyebrows knitting together as she was unable to find the words. But JJ could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t feel the same way. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away before turning back around and smiling like nothing was wrong.

“It’s all good. I just- Well, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try,” he backed away, Kie reaching out to him and calling his name with this sympathetic tone that made JJ grimace. “Really Kie, we’re all good. Just forget I even said anything.”

She had left the Chateau not too long after, making some excuse about being tired from their beach day. But JJ knew it was because she felt awkward around him now, and he cursed at himself for reading her wrong and thinking she felt the same. Now, he might have screwed things up just in the friendship.

At the very least, she would be walking on eggshells around him or looking at him like a sick puppy who needs pity, and the thought humiliated him as much as it angered him.

She had asked you if you were riding home with her, to which you declined. JJ offered to take you home when you wanted, not surprised when you didn’t hesitate to agree. Once Pope left and John B turned in for the night, the two of you decided to go out for a smoke session before he planned to drop you off.

Part of him wanted to blame Kie. While he appreciated the conversation they’d had about you then, all he could think now was that you were forbidden fruit being dangled in front of him. Maybe he wanted to hurt Kiara back. Maybe he just needed to feel wanted by someone that day.

Whatever the reason, JJ found himself turning to face you, catching you off guard. Normally he would pretend as if he couldn’t feel the eyes on him, but now he was looking at you and not saying anything and fuck you couldn’t breathe.

The devil and angel on JJ’s shoulders were having a full out war. This is wrong. It would be the worst thing he’s ever done, and he knew he was an asshole to do anything with you knowing how you felt about him. And how he felt about your sister.

But you were beautiful. And you were looking at him as if he held the world in his hands and fuck he’s about to do something completely stupid.

He leans in, pausing when your breath catches in your throat out of nerves. Pulling away, JJ looks at you.

“Is this okay?” The question was futile, both of you knew that. But he could see the uncertainty swimming in your eyes, not knowing if this was the effect of really good weed or if he was actually making a move on you. After a few moments, you snap out of your head and realize you have yet to respond.

“Yeah,” You whisper, afraid if you speak too loud you’d break the bubble the two of you seemed to be in. He leans in slowly, you mimicking his actions and meeting him into a soft kiss. It was short, the two of you pulling apart but still centimeters away from each others face.

This is the part where he tells you that was a mistake. He’s gonna tell you he’s just high, and that you should forget-

But you’re cut off by his lips slamming on yours, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Both of your hearts were beating a mile a minute. You lightly grabbed the hand that was on your face, needing something to ground you as you felt you would float away at any moment. Surely this would be what killed you.

“You wanna go inside?” JJ mumbles against your lips, kissing you softly. No, that would be what killed you.

“Yeah,” You reply, kicking yourself in the ass for not having any other words in your vocabulary right now. But he doesn’t seem to mind as he gets out of the hammock, using one hand to grab yours and help you off while using the other to stabilize the swinging.

His hand is still holding yours as he leads you into the Château and his makeshift room. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling you between his legs and kissing you again.

JJ knew that he was crossing so many lines they were basically nonexistent at this point. He meant to stop after the first kiss, but you looked so fragile in that moment when you thought he would reject you. Is that how he looked when he told Kiara how he felt?

Maybe it was good that he kept kissing you. You would be devastated and embarrassed, and he couldn’t be the cause of that knowing how it felt to be on the receiving end. Sleeping with you would be like killing two birds with one stone. He’d be able to consume himself with the distraction that you’re providing, and you would get what you’ve always wanted from the blonde.

JJ did whatever to rationalize his actions because he didn’t want to stop. It felt good to forget, and who better to lose himself in than the girl who basically worshipped him?

Grabbing the back of your thighs, he lifted you up until you were placed on his lap, resting his hands on the small of your back as he lightly ran his tongue on the bottom of your lip to ask for permission. You grant it, giving up control instantly and bringing your hands to the back of his neck, pulling at the end of his hair.

He grunted against you, starting to guide your hips so you were grinding against him. He begins to harden as you gasp, and he pulls away as a thought pops in his head.

“Are you a virgin?” You blush at the question, but shake your head. Thank God. JJ could barely write off what he’s doing now, but he would be going straight to hell if you trusted him with that and he went through with it knowing his intentions.

When JJ leans back in, you don’t allow any more interruptions. Pushing him back on the bed, the two of you get lost in the feeling of each other.

•••

JJ is woken up by the smell of bacon.

At first he’s sure he’s just having a very vivid dream, but his eyes pop open after a few moments when he realizes it’s reality. When the hell did John B go to the store?

He rolls over to the other side of the bed, stuffing his face in the pillow and inhaling. The scent of mango and vanilla overwhelms his senses, and he sighs contently at your known fragrance before his eyes pop open for the second time. The events of last night come rushing back, and he sits up in the bed.

You’re not in the room, which makes him think there’s only one place you would be. He should’ve known. If John B was cooking he would’ve woken up to the smell of smoke instead of perfectly cooked bacon.

He gets out of the bed, pulling on his boxers before grabbing a random pair of sweats off the ground and putting those on as well. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he walks down the hall to the kitchen to see you at the stove.

On top of the bacon you have sizzling on the back burner, you’re currently scrambling some eggs. You’re wearing only one of his cut out shirts, and his eyes run up your legs before settling on a very noticeable handprint on your outer thigh.

You’re dancing lightly, swaying your hips back and forth as you hum to yourself, and JJ feels a pang in his chest knowing he’s gonna be the cause of your hurt once he tells you he wants to forget about last night. He steps further into the kitchen, clearing his throat and lightly chuckling when you jump before turning to face him.

You’re startled at the sound, so caught up in playing the song in your head and making breakfast that you don’t even recall hearing the bedroom door open. Your face flushes as you take in the blonde standing across from you. He has bruises littering his neck from where your lips left their mark, and you’re sure if he turned around you would see the remnants of your nails digging into his back.

“Hey!” You greet cheerfully, unable to stop the wide smile from taking over your face as the events from last night settled into being reality. “I’m making breakfast. I sent John B back out to get orange juice, I know it’s your favorite.”

JJ thanked you quietly, and your face grew concerned at his tone, "You okay?"

He opened his mouth to tell you that you should talk about last night, but you turned back around and continuing making the eggs and you just looked like you felt lighter on your feet. When you looked back at him, he saw the light in your eyes and just how overall content you looked right now.

He had sex with you less than ten hours ago, he can't hold your heart in his hands and then drop it like its nothing. So, he made the decision to have the talk later. You were happy. He wasn't going to ruin that.

He made his way over to you, placing his hands on your waist and leaning over to press a kiss on your forehead, "Perfect."

He ignored the guilt he felt when you leaned into him.

--

Kie was first extremely confused, which quickly turned into pissed.

It'd been three days since she'd last been to the Chateau, and she would be lying if she said it wasn't because of the blonde. She didn't mean to be awkward, but he had caught her off guard with his feelings. She assumed she was doing the right thing by giving him space afterwards to give him time to come to terms and hopefully move on from it altogether.

The last thing she expected was to come back and see you two cuddling on the couch while watching a movie on your phone. Your head was laying on his chest, and she would've thought nothing of it if it weren't for the way JJ was running his fingers up and down your leg that was laced between his.

When you saw her, you sat up as if you were caught, which in a way you were. You had yet to tell Kiara about what happened with JJ, too caught up in spending time with him and not really finding the right time outside of that to bring it up. You didn't know how she would react considering you were went against her advice and pursued the surfer, and honestly you wanted to bask in the whirlwind that was JJ Maybank.

The morning after you felt like you were on Cloud Nine, the buzz of the weed no match for how high you got off from his presence. He'd dropped you off later that morning after you ate breakfast with John B, the brunette noticing a shift but deciding not to say anything. When he arrived at your house, you hesitantly looked at him because you didn't really know where you two stood.

"Um, I guess I'll see you later at the Chateau?" You asked, trying to keep your tone casual. But both of you knew the double meaning behind your words. To your delight, he had leaned over and kissed you, pulling away after a moment before agreeing.

He waited until you made it to the front door to start his bike again and drive off, and you unlocked the front door clumsily as the events of the night replayed in your head. You came inside, leaning against the front door to shut it with a smile so wide on your face you felt like your cheeks would burst.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" You turned to see Kie looking at you with an amused expression. She had just grabbed a box of strawberries from the fridge, adding it to the half done parfait.

You smiled as you walked over to the cabinet, grabbing the bag of crushed granola and setting it on the counter next to the ensemble of yogurt and fruit Kie had already laid out. You shrugged your shoulders, "Nothing, just a good morning."

"Okay, Ms. Morning-Person-all-of-a-sudden," Kie teased, bumping her hip against you playfully. "Want a parfait?"

"Sure, but put mine in the fridge. I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick," You say before kissing her on the cheek and heading towards the stairs. Kie watches as you bounce up the stairs, shaking her head at your good mood but deciding not to question it further. If you're happy, she's happy.

"Sorry," you stated bashfully, leaning into your arm now but not moving any further from JJ. "No one’s here and we got distracted."

Kie knows you're referring to your lack of a response when she had texted you earlier, but she was too stumped by the sight before her. Her eyes move from you to JJ, who's still watching the movie as if this is nothing out of the ordinary. Fixing her face, Kie smiles at you, "You're good. I didn't mean to interrupt... whatever this is."

You wave her off, climbing over JJ to get off of the couch and grabbing your phone from his hands, finally managing to draw JJ's attention from the device to the conversation.

You mention something about your phone dying anyway, and while you're walking to JJ's room Kie fixes a glare on the blonde. The man in question at least has the decency to look a little ashamed, anger swimming in Kie's brown eyes as she walks closer to him.

"The only reason I'm not making a scene," She started through gritted teeth, "is because she's in the other room."

He sits up on the couch, using his hands to push himself off.

"Jealous?" The most dick headed comment slipped from his mouth before he could stop it, Kie's gaped mouth at his balls just adding to how much he felt like an absolute asshole in that moment. He could hear the bitterness in his tone, and he grimaced.

"JJ I swear to God-" She steps closer to JJ, who would've stepped back if it didn't mean he would fall back into the couch.

"What's going on?" Your voice asks from the where you're standing at the beginning of the hallway, halting when you notice the tension in the room that was not there before you left. Kie moves from JJ, putting on her best smile as she waved you off, "Nothing."

Before you could question further, she stops you.

"Oh, I forgot. Guess who brought extra food from the Wreck for us," She sang, and you gasped in excitement. You’d been starving, the group all making plans to meet here for dinner and Kie promising to bring extra food after her shift. She holds out her keys as you grab them from her hands, practically running out the door to her car.

Kiara whips her head back to JJ, gaze murderous.

"What the hell is your problem?"

JJ attempts to shrug, "I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Don't play that shit," Kie snaps. "You tell me you have feelings for me and I come back to find you macking on my sister?"

"We were watching a movie, relax," He attempts to walk past her to no avail. Kie steps right in his path.

"JJ."

"It's not what it seems," JJ lied. It was exactly what it seemed like. "We've just been... hanging out."

Kie gives him a pointed look, and he sighs. They both have a silent argument, knowing exactly what JJ was doing. JJ looks out of the screen door to see you making your way back from the car, struggling to lift all of the bags.

"She's happy, alright?" JJ says quickly, eyes bouncing from Kie's figure to yours. "Isn't that all that matters? Please just... don't say anything."

Before Kie could get a word out JJ was bolting out of the front door.

You struggled to lift the huge bags of extra food while attempting to not drop the keys, cursing Kie in your head for not warning you. Then again, you didn’t really give her time to. The sound of the front door opening makes you sigh in relief, your eyes lighting up at JJ walking towards you with his hands out.

“Gimme those,” he stated, taking the weight off you and walking next to you back inside. You open the door for him, watching as he walked to set the food down on the table. Your eyes move to Kie, who’s glaring at the blonde and when she meets your gaze you question her with your eyes.

Shrugging, she moved from her position back over to you, grabbing the keys from your hands before muttering, “I’m gonna go pick up Pope.”

As she walks out the door, JJ turns to you just as you fix your inquisitive gaze on him, “She does know that’s what John B’s doing, right?”

“Don’t know,” JJ shrugs, walking back over to you and dipping his head down, “All I heard was we have the place to ourselves.”

You smirk up at him, meeting him halfway as he pulled you into a kiss.

•••

The more time he spent with you, the more JJ’s guilt began to fade.

It’s been two weeks since he begged Kie not to say anything to you. He planned on telling you himself later that day, the reality of his actions setting in when he was face to face with his actions. It was when he was truly able to reflect and see that he was completely disregarding your feelings in this.

But every time he looked at you, he couldn’t get the words to come out of his mouth. He couldn’t be cause of your pain, knowing exactly what that pain feels like. You were so happy, and he couldn’t bring himself to ruin that. He rationalized his actions again, deciding that he could grow to have those feelings for you. He just needed time.

JJ found that it wasn’t hard to. He does enjoy spending time with you. Without the thoughts of Kiara looming over his head, he was actually able to focus on you outside of just being his friend.

You didn’t push conversations, willing to just sit in comfortable silence. You laughed at his antics instead of scolding him, sometimes even joining along. You were considerate, always letting him know you were there if he wanted to talk but not pushing him any further. You were always there.

JJ also found that he really likes kissing you.

He liked how he could feel the nerves coming off of you when he leaned in close to you, how he could practically hear your heart beating out of your chest. He’d spent so much time actively ignoring your crush on him that he didn’t take the time to pay attention to how cute you are when you reacted to him.

The last two weeks have shown that JJ has just been looking in the wrong place. Sure, his feelings for Kie were real. But they weren’t like the feelings he had for you. JJ always felt like he needed to prove he was good enough for your sister, but with you it was never a worry. You assured him that he was enough, and he’s never felt that validation.

Things were still very new, JJ not being able to say he was outright in love with you. But you were patient, letting him know from jump that you weren’t putting any pressure on him.

“We can just play it by ear,” You shrug as you guys talk about your newfound relationship. “There’s no pressure. We can just see where it goes, and if it ends up going nowhere there’s no hard feelings.”

JJ knew he should’ve ended it, but the thought of taking things slow and seeing where things go with you two didn’t seem terrible to him. If anything, he liked the idea. When you take his initial intentions out of it, this is just two friends exploring the possibility of something more.

He didn’t care that Kie still wasn’t really speaking to him. He’d never felt more wanted in his life, and he began to crave that feeling. He also found himself wanting to reciprocate, wanting you to feel how you make him feel.

Which brought you guys to your nightly smoke session out on the hammock. Every night for the last two weeks, the two of you venture off to smoke a joint, JJ pulling you into a shotgun and relishing in the lust that takes over you. More times than not, those moments end in him leading you back to his room and losing himself inside you.

“Y/N, can I talk to you?” JJ looks over to see Kie standing over you guys as you sit on the hammock. She has a determined look on her face, and JJ instantly knows why.

Kie had been watching you for the last couple of weeks.

She was able to connect the dots quickly on what sparked your unlikely relationship. What she hasn’t connected is why he’s keeping it going. He doesn’t have feelings for you, and yet he’s continuing to lead you on and give you false hope. Then again, maybe it was for the same reason she hasn’t said anything.

You are happy. That much is shown with the light behind your eyes and the smile you can’t seem to wipe off your face. You’ve always been a happy person, your bubbly personality spreading to those around you. But this happiness was different. You just seemed so much more sure of yourself.

And it made sense. With the way JJ was acting, there’s no way to even tell the blonde doesn’t have feelings.

Even the rest of the Pogues have begun making comments about the ‘honeymoon phase’ you seem to be in, and she has to force a laugh as they joke about how much your cuteness makes them want to puke. 

Even now, she had been watching from afar, only breaking her gaze when John B made a joke about a picture lasting longer.

For two weeks, she’s been holding her tongue. But at this point, the guilt was physically painful. Kie hates that she will be the one to burst your bubble, but she also knows she can’t just sit back and watch her sister’s feelings continue to get played with. 

You nod your head, JJ hopping up from the hammock instead, grabbing Kie’s arm, “Give us a second.” 

“Okay..” Your voice trails off, confusion filling you once again at the odd behavior that’s been exhibited for weeks now. You knew Kie would feel weird, her sister and best friend dating and all. Nevermind that it did come out of nowhere. But it was weird how much of a problem this is for her.

You couldn’t stop yourself from worrying, wishing you were able to eavesdrop on the conversation but alas, there was no way for you to make your way over to them without being noticed. 

JJ walks until he and Kie are out of earshot, turning to face her. His eyes bounce across her face, wincing internally at the anger that's been present every time the girl even looked in his general vicinity.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you even like her?" Kie hits him back with a question. This is the first time she's actually able to get a glimpse into what the hell he's thinking. "You can't lead her on, JJ. She deserves better than that."

"I'm not leading her on," He stays, quickly adding once seeing the look on Kie's face, "Maybe at first it was unclear but I do like her. And she's happy."

He repeats his sentiment he told her the first time she confronted him. And he's not lying. He did like you. His feelings for Kie began to diminish the longer he spent around you, while his feelings for you only grew. He was shocked himself at how easy it was to be with you.

"Because she doesn't know the truth!"

"So what? You want to go over there and break her heart?" He pointed in your direction. He knew it was a low blow, but he couldn’t stop himself due to the fear of you finding out.

"It's not me doing the breaking."

"Kie, look," He focuses on her, noting for the first time how he’s not nervous to make eye contact. "Just give me some time. I haven't even had time to really work through all of this shit. I'll tell her myself before I do anything to hurt her."

“Work through- JJ she has feelings for you. Not ‘I’m trying to figure it out’ feelings, actual deep fucking feelings for you. And you used that because you were what? Angry at me?”

He sighs, unable to really argue with her because it was the truth. He did use you. He was angry and hurt and you made him forget that. But it’s not the same now as it was then. He’s been looking at you in a new light and he’s kicked himself in the ass for not trying to before.

“I’m an asshole,” he states. “I know that. But take the bullshit with us and that night out of it, I care about her. A lot actually, and I know that’s hard to believe with me trying it with you and all… but I’m honestly happy you turned me down.”

When Kie looks at him skeptically, he continues, “Seriously. Me and you didn’t make sense. But me and Y/N… I can’t explain it but we just do. I’m not saying you have to trust me or even like that I’m with her, but I’m telling you the truth when I say I’m not going to do anything to hurt her. If you tell her, she will hate me. Please just don’t make her hate me.”

Kiara’s hard gaze softened the more JJ talked. In all of this, she had forgotten that she knew JJ. Take away the impulsivity and roughness, he cared about his friends more than life itself. She knew deep down he didn’t do this to intentionally hurt you. And he did seem to be genuinely terrified at the thought of you hating him, which makes her think he has to have some sort of feelings for you.

She turned around to look back at you, battling with telling you or letting you be happy. If JJ was telling the truth, and he did have feelings for you, telling you now would only cause discourse and make you feel less of yourself - no matter how untrue it was.

You turn around to see JJ and Kie finally walking back, and you get off the hammock. You cross your arms, looking at the two as they reach you, “Okay, do either of you wanna tell me why you’ve both been acting so fucking weird?”

You weren’t stupid. You knew something was off, but you just wanted to write it off as everyone adjusting to the new relationship. But at this point it’s been weeks and this weird energy just continues to hang in the air.

You watch as JJ and Kie look at each other, the blonde seeming to give your sister the floor to answer. She turns back to you and smiles lightly, “I’m sorry for being weird. I’ve just been getting used to you two, and honestly I was worried about his intentions.”

“His intentions?”

“Yeah. He’s not really the relationship guy and I know how you feel about him and… I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt.”

You sigh in relief, pulling Kie into a tight hug, “I love you. But you don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself. And JJ wouldn’t hurt me.”

You’d pulled away at the end of your sentence, looking at JJ when he confirms your words. He walks over to you and kisses your forehead, and it’s the first time that you’ve noticed Kie not grimace when he shows any affection.

“As long as you’re happy..” she trails off, and you nod at her, “I am. I’m really happy.”

•••

You rush around the Chateau, almost tripping over your own feet as you make your way to the hallway bathroom and check your appearance. You're wearing a short floral dress, the color contrasting your skin and fitting nicely against your curves. You ran your hands through your hair to add more volume, the curls coming down past your shoulders. Perfect.

You needed everything to be perfect.

Making your way back into the living room, you look at the set up. You'd created more space on the floor, pushing the sofa bed in and moving it out of the way. You had a blanket laid out on floor, placing a few pillows so they were propped up on the floor in front of the couch and using fake candles to hold the blanket down. Your computer sat on the floor adjacent to the pillows, ready to play movies.

The wine you snuck from your mom's cabinet sat in a bucket of ice, two wine glasses perfectly placed next to them. The pizza was due to arrive in five minutes, you calling the place just to double check that it arrives before JJ.

To your pleasure, you heard the knocking on the screen door and turned to see the pizza delivery man looking back at you. Once you hand him the money, you grab the pizza with a bright Thank you! and place the box of pizza on the floor.

You sit on the floor, changing positions a few times while you decide how you wanna look when JJ walks in before standing up and pacing. You knew this was a lot. I mean, the most romantic thing you and JJ do is sneak into the Wreck after late night surfing.

But you figured given the occasion you could both venture out of your comfort zones. It was your six month anniversary so a little extra romance is expected. You smile softly, not even being able to wrap your head around the fact that you're about to celebrate your six month anniversary with JJ.

The last six months have been everything. JJ was the best boyfriend, always attentive and just making you feel like you were the only person when you were in the room. When your relationship first took a turn, you didn't want to get your hopes up. You knew you would be JJ's first serious relationship and you expected him to run for the hills.

But he surprised you. He spent so much time trying to get to know you in a different sense, not as his friend but as someone he saw himself wanting to be with. When he asked you to be his girlfriend you were sure you would fall to the ground from your knees being so weak.

You two were having a smoke session on the hammock, the two of you passing the nearly gone joint back and forth. JJ suddenly turned his head towards you, “I like you.”

You smile teasingly over at him, “Well I would hope so.”

“I mean it,” He whispered, flicking the joint away. He gets out of the hammock, it swaying as he moves to stand. He holds out his hand. “Come on, baby.”

You grab his hand, letting him guide you out of the hammock and moving until your back was placed against the tree. “What?”

He scans his eyes over your face, moving the small curls from your face and tucking them behind your ear. His fingers run down from your ear to your jaw until he was lightly cupping your chin, running his thumb over the skin. “Nothing. I just want to be able to look at you when I do this.”

“Do what-?” He cuts your question off by using his fingers to tilt your head up, placing a soft kiss. He pulls away, face inches from yours and you can’t tell if it’s his heart or yours that you can hear beating.

“Be my girlfriend?” He asks, his voice low as he looks nervously at you. You’re frozen for a second before you pull him back into another kiss. He was so cute thinking he even had to ask, but you were happy he was ready to put a label on your relationship.

You kiss him, “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He’s done everything since then to be a perfect boyfriend, making you happier than you’d ever remember being. So, everything tonight needed to be perfect.

Speaking of the devil, you hear the screen door open and stop your pacing to see the blonde at the door, looking at your layout before turning his eyes to you, running them over your figure. “Holy fuck.”

He makes his way inside, the screen door shutting behind him. You start to play with your fingers, smiling shyly at him, “Too much?”

He doesn’t say anything, he just walks over to you and pulls you into a kiss, his hands squeezing your waist as he deepens it. His hands move to your ass, gripping the flesh as he pulls away once successfully making you breathless, “It’s fucking perfect, baby. You’re fucking perfect.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him back into a kiss. You have to move your hands to his chest after a few minutes, pushing him away lightly, “The pizza’s gonna get cold.”

“Screw the pizza. In the mood to eat something else.” He rasped, trying to pull you in another kiss and pouting when you moved your head back. You playfully pointed a finger at him in warning.

“Nice try, blondie. Dinner then dessert,” You lead him to the blanket, giggling as he playfully groans.

“How can you do this and wear that and expect me not to fuck you senseless?” You gasp as he lightly slaps your ass, pecking your cheek as he moves past you to sit down on the floor. You sit next to him, scooting over once he motioned you closer.

“I just spent the last two hours setting this up, so we’re gonna enjoy it,” You tease. “Besides, we have hours for you to fuck me senseless.”

He hums, kissing you again and leaning back on the pillow. “Alright, pass a slice and let’s start the movie. You’re gonna need all the energy you can get.”

•••

JJ felt like he was on Cloud Nine.

The only way to describe the last six and a half months with you is that it felt like a never-ending high. He couldn’t remember a time where he felt happier, a time when he felt more loved than he did since being with you.

Falling for you was as easy as breathing. He kicks himself in the ass for even thinking of being with anyone who wasn’t you. He never thought he’d be the guy to say that someone brings out the best in him, but that’s what he got with you. You make him want to be the best person. Not because you didn’t already think he was perfect, but because JJ wanted to be someone who deserved to be loved by you.

A couple of weeks after Kie gave her approval, JJ was able to come to terms with his feelings for you. He had completely gotten over Kie, and all of his attention and affection was solely on you. It was weird for him to even think about there being a time when he did like your sister. Considering how easy it was to forget them, he’s not even sure they were ever really real.

You were everything and more.

Not long after he realized his feelings, he asked you out. And it was pure bliss from there. You were the most amazing girlfriend he could ever even hope to have. You exceeded every expectation, calmed every insecurity that he had, and made him happy.

He catches himself smiling just thinking about the promise of seeing you, and his heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest whenever you’re near him. He loves you. He was completely, hard down in love with you.

He realized that a few months into the relationship. Having never felt it before, he didn’t know what to make of how he felt when he was near you. But he couldn’t ignore how he felt after he came to you one night, completely broken only for you to remind him that mend his bruises and his heart.

He curses as his feet momentarily slips from the thick branch, getting his footing and knocking on the window to your room. He doesn’t make a habit of sneaking in your window just for the simple fact of not wanting to die from falling out of a tree, the two of you opting to spend most of your time at the Chateau.

But when his dad came home on a drunken, drug induced rampage and decided to take his anger out on him, he only wanted to be near you.

You're rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you pull open the curtains, JJ feeling like shit for waking you up at this hour but admiring how cute you look in your sleepy state. When you see him, you immediately unlock the window and step back as he climbs inside.

You reach over and turn on the small lamp on your desk as he shuts and locks the window, turning back to him and gasping at his appearance. JJ knows he looks terrible. He’s gotten punched in the face at least three times, the rest of his father’s punches aimed towards his body once he moved to protect his face.

“Oh, baby,” you whisper, taking his hand lightly and pulling him to your bed. You sit him down, sneaking out of the room to the hallway. You come back a few moments later with a bottled water and First Aid kit, pulling out some Neosporin and gauze pads.

You say nothing as you wet the gauze and clean his face, eyes knitted together in concentration as you clean the blood. When you’re done with that, you move to put the Neosporin on his lip and the cut on his cheek from where his dad’s ring got him.

You get up to put the First Aid on the desk, walking back over to the bed and taking his hands again, “Come lay down.”

“I’m wearing outside clothes.”

“I don’t care,” She responds, and JJ takes his boots off and climbs in after his girl. He lays on his back, you using that he places behind his head as a rest as you face him. You run your fingers softly over his face. He doesn’t talk, he knows he doesn’t need to and she won’t push him, one of the many things he loves about you.

You sit up a little, leaning over to softly kiss his bruised cheek. You place another one on his lips, him reciprocating and relishing in the care. Your fingers move to the end of his shirt, fumbling with the fabric and he knows what you’re gonna ask. “It’s okay.”

You lightly kiss him again before continuing your movements. JJ watches as you slowly lift the front of his shirt up, eyes not being able to leave your face as your eyes tear up at the bruises littering his torso. His heart beats as you move your head down to place light kisses on these bruises as well.

JJ can’t help the tears that start to form in his eyes now. The way you touch him is a complete contrast to what he’s used to. The complete contrast to what he’s shown is “love” his entire life. You always handled him with so much care and love and he gets overwhelmed with the way you make him feel.

“I hate him.” You speak against his torso, placing one more kiss before moving back to your lying position. “He doesn’t even know how amazing you are.”

He looks over at you, and you wipe the fallen tear that he hates that fell from his eyes but wasn’t uncomfortable with the vulnerability. If there was anyone he wanted to be vulnerable with, it was you.

It was at that moment when he felt this overwhelming sense of happiness. It was like a rush of affection spread through him, and he brought his other hand up to rub his thumb against your cheek. You lean into his hand, and he’s speaking before he even realizes.

“I love you.” He whispers so low he’s not even sure you heard him, but the way your eyes move to him tell him you did. It’s the first time he’s ever said it, and he watches as your eyes dance across his face.

“I love you too. Always have.”

The relationship grew from there, JJ finding it easier to show his vulnerability and the feeling of love only growing the more he was with you.

He misses you when you’re not around, John B and Pope teasing him when he jumps to answer your texts. He waves them off, boasting about how they wish they had a girl like his - no offense to Sarah. Sarah would take his side, always telling him how happy she was to see them together.

“I always knew it,” She stated, the group looking at her with different pointed looks. “Well I didn’t know, but I promise I thought it.”

Kie took a little longer to come around, and if he’s being honest he doesn’t think she has fully forgiven him for his intentions when you two first got together. But she eased up with time, only really seeming weird when how you two started gets brought up. She always manages to change the subject, which JJ is grateful for and even more grateful that she does it subtly.

The funny thing was that JJ didn’t even recognize the person he was before you. It was like there were two of him, the one before you and the one after. JJ was absolutely head over heels, and he would do anything in his power to never lose you.

•••

“Fuck, JJ,” You gasp as your head throws back, JJ placing kisses on your neck as he drives his cock deeper into you. You’re in your room, and JJ’s basking in the empty house and how that means he doesn’t have to worry about keeping you quiet.

He uses a hand to grip your thigh, pushing it so it’s pressed against the mattress as he snaps his hips against you. This drives a louder moan out of you, and he bites at your neck, “Like that?”

You nod your head as your eyes roll back, and he places kisses down your neck to your chest and pulls one of your nipples into his mouth. He flicks his tongue at the nub, grunting when your hand comes up to the nape of his neck and pulls at the hair.

He feels you clench down on him, and he knows you’re closer to another orgasm. Wanting to see you fall apart, he brings his head up to see yours still thrown back in ecstasy. He groans at you clenching again, your pussy like a vice around his dick. Bringing his face to yours, he nudges your chin with his nose, “Come ‘ere.”

You bring your face down to him immediately taking your lips in a kiss. You whimper against his lips, and he grunts in response as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. He’s pounding into you, his movements growing sloppy as he gets closer and closer.

“You close, baby?” He asks you against your lips, pecking you once you nod. “Yeah? Come on, come on my cock.”

He lets go off your thigh so you can wrap your legs around him. You wrap both of your arms around his neck as you pull him closer to you, his words triggering your climax. If possible, your pussy wraps itself even tighter around JJ and he groans as pushes his face into your neck as he reaches his climax.

You’re shaking against him, and he places kisses on your throat as he talks you through it, “That’s it. You did so fucking good, baby. Ride it out. ‘M right here.”

Once the last waves of your simultaneous orgasms fade, JJ lazily grinds against you as he brings you into another heated kiss. You’re so out of breath you can’t kiss him back fully, but he doesn’t care. He just needs to feel you against him, wanting to keep being lost in you.

He slows his movements, placing kisses around your face and running his hands up and down your sides, your thighs, the side of your ass, everything he can touch. You giggle, but keep your arms wrapped around him to keep him near you.

“We’re so late,” You laugh against him as he kisses you once again. JJ doesn’t care, he would spend all day here if he could. Just like this. And if you keep making your pussy clench around him by laughing he’ll flip you over and make you even more late.

“You started it.”

“I bent over to grab my shoes,” You joked.

“Tomayto, tomahto.”

You laugh harder, pushing him away. He pulls out, immediately missing the warmth of you. Falling to the bed next to you, he shuts his eyes only for you to object, “Uh uh, come on. Shower time.”

His head immediately comes up, raising an eyebrow at you, “Round Three?”

“JJ!” You laugh as you climb out of bed, and JJ bites his lip at the sight of you stopping your movements when you can’t walk. “We need to get ready so we can leave.”

He gets off the bed, walking over to you and lifting you up so your legs wrap around him. You both make sounds at your sensitive parts grazing each other with the movement, you glaring at him when you feel him start to harden.

“JJ, we don’t have time-”

“We’re already late. What’s ten more minutes?” He begins to walk out of the room to the hallway to the bathroom. Fuck he loves it when no one’s home. When you two live together, he’s making a rule of no clothes in the house.

“Fine, but if they start bitching when we get there I’m blaming you,” You warn. “I’m surprised they weren’t blowing our phones up.”

“They probably were. I turned them off.”

“JJ!”

•••

JJ’s running his fingers down your thigh as you both lay on the hammock. The both of you are sitting sideways to face the group, his foot on the ground to anchor you and rock you back and forth as you all just get drunk and screw around.

“Oh my god and you missed it!” Kie looks at you as they all recap the beach day. “Sarah caught a wave and stayed up!”

You perk at that, looking over to the blonde who is not blushing. John B pulls her in as he confirms, “Yep! My baby’s getting better and better every time.”

“Really?” JJ spoke to Sarah from his spot, and Sarah rolled her eyes, “I was up for like two seconds.”

“But that’s two seconds more than the last time,” Pope points out, and you all laugh before sending Sarah her praise. The blonde had been wanting to learn to surf for the longest, tired of sitting pretty on the beach as you guys spend the day catching waves.

She’d been learning for a few weeks, John B not even letting her on the board until he made a presentation about the history and mechanics of surfing. If she didn’t pass the test he gave her - an actual, multiple choice test - you’re sure she wouldn’t even see the board for another few weeks.

“Just another thing you guys missed when you ditched beach day,” Sarah gave you two a pointed look as she wiggled her eyebrows. You turn to hide your face in JJ’s chest as he has the opposite reaction.

“Worth every hour,” he responds, and you slap his chest lightly. He catches the hand in his, kissing your forehead.

“God, it’s still weird seeing JJ as such a simp.” John B comments, and you all laugh as JJ raises a finger to the brunette.

“Funny. It’s hard to think about a time when he wasn’t,” You replied, placing a soft kiss on his neck.

“It’s the most un-JJ thing ever,” Pope chimes in. “Before you two he wouldn’t be caught dead doing half the shit he does.”

“It’s cute though.” Sarah says, leaning more into John B. “They’re cute.”

“Crazy to think that a year ago we would’ve never thought you two would end up together. I mean,” John B laughs, “I could’ve sworn he liked Kie-”

At the mention of her name, your sister kicks at John B to shut him up. You all look over at the motion, laughter dying down a little. At the new information, you chuckled at the thought as you looked at JJ.

“Kie?” You raise your eyebrows, and he opens his mouth to respond but Pope cuts him off.

“Well obviously not ‘cause you guys started dating,” He looks over at Kie, still confused by her actions. She’s been acting weird since this topic came up.

“Ooh,” Sarah drunkenly chimes in, attention span like a squirrel, “Please tell us how it happened.”

“Sarah it’s been months,” Kiara says her first words since the topic was brought up, and you turn to her. Why is she acting so weird?

“So?” Sarah chuckles, turning back to you and JJ. “Come on, you guys never told us the story. How’d it happen? How did you profess your undying love?”

You laugh at her dramatic tone, shaking your head and shrugging, “You guys already knew I liked him. All of you.” At your last sentence, you nudged JJ who smiled down at you. There was something odd about it, something you couldn’t really place but he just kissed your forehead again.

“Well, yeah, but how did he tell you he liked you back?” Sarah asked, looking at JJ expectantly.

“Oh that wasn’t until after-” You begin to say, but JJ cuts you off.

“I always liked her,” You give him a pointed look, not believing that the blonde likes you before your night together. I mean, he probably had an inkling of feelings, which didn’t shock you. You never expected him to feel the same way. You still remember your shock when he made the move.

Kie scoffs, and you look over at her as she looks as if she didn’t mean for the sound to come out. JJ defends himself, “‘M serious. Just too stupid to realize.”

He places a finger on your chin to bring you to his lips, kissing you, “Sorry for being stupid.”

You hum against his lips, “You’re forgiven.”

“I’m gonna get another drink.”

Kie is standing and walking into the Chateau before you can even process her words. You look at JJ who’s wearing an unreadable expression, turning to look at the rest of the group, “Is she okay?”

You get up to follow her, but Sarah stops you by standing up and pushing you back down, “I’ll go. You stay here and keep being cute.”

She stumbles off, and you lean back into JJ, not being able to shake this weird feeling settling in your chest.

Kiara is leaning against the sink in the bathroom as she takes a deep breath to level her anger. How could he just sit there and lie so easily?

She had to get the hell out of there before she said something she didn’t want to. She’s been able to successfully avoid this conversation from happening around her, not being able to deal with the guilt that still bubbles when she thinks about how she lied to you. How she’s been lying to you.

She could write it off as you being happy so it doesn’t matter how you and JJ started, but it was hard to do that when he just blatantly lies to your face. It was one thing to never mention it but it’s another thing to just sell you a dream.

“Hey, you okay?” She turns to see Sarah standing at the door of the bathroom, and sighs in relief. If it were you she would’ve blurted out the truth instantly. She’s been able to ignore this feeling because it’s obvious JJ has grown to love you. But she’s your sister and she completely lied to your face about something so important.

“It’s one thing to be okay with them but it’s another to sit there and watch him lie to her,” Kie speaks her thoughts aloud, and Sarah walks into the bathroom to stand on the other side of her.

“Lie? What do you mean?”

“I can’t…” She tried to walk out of the bathroom, Sarah instantly pulling her back and making her face her.

“Whatever it is, it’s big enough to be bothering you. Does this have to do with JJ having that crush on you? Did you like him back or something?”

“No!” Kie instantly replies, shaking her head. When Sarah looks at her with an expectant look, she decides to just tell her. As she begins to, she feels the weight she forgot was there leaving her shoulders.

You’re leaning against JJ as Pope and John B start talking about some random thing that happened to them, you not paying attention to it because you were so focused on Kie.

She was acting so weird, and the more you sat there the more you wanted to find out what it was. Did she feel weird about the thought of JJ liking her? It’s a weird thought for you too, but Pope was right. You two are dating so that obviously wasn’t the case.

“I’m gonna go check on her,” you mumble to JJ, sitting up and surprised when he grabbed your arm to stop you, moving to get up himself.

“I can go,” You place a hand on his chest, pushing him back down and looking at him weirdly. “It’s okay, she’s my sister J. I got it.”

He leans back into the hammock, but you can feel how tense he is by the hand on his chest. Getting up, you walk to the Chateau and open the screen door. Confused when you don’t see Kie and Sarah in the kitchen, you look around before hearing their voices come from

the hallway.

You follow the voices, leading you to the bathroom and catching the end of Kie’s words.

“..and then I came back a few days later and they were a thing.”

Was she talking about you and JJ? You leaned against the wall, keeping your distance to not draw attention and eavesdropping. You would feel bad, but this behavior was a reminder of how Kie was acting when you two first got together and now she’s talking about you two.

“I mean, I didn’t know what to do. One second JJ was confessing his feelings for me and then the next he was like attached to her hip.” What?

You feel a weight start to build in your chest as you process her words, thankful when Sarah asked her to elaborate.

“Wait… so the day JJ told you he had feelings for you… he slept with Y/N?”

“I figured. Within the same time frame at least. And I wanted to tell her but she was just so happy and then he told me that he was beginning to like her and after a while it became easier to not say anything because they’re .. well they’re good together.”

You’re thankful for the wall you’re leaning against because you’re sure if it wasn’t there you would’ve collapsed from the shock taking over you at your sister’s words. The day you guys hooked up, the day that changed everything for you, he was telling Kie he had feelings for her?

That doesn’t make sense. Why the hell would he sleep with you if he had feelings for her? He’s never even mentioned having so much as a crush on your older sister, and you run through the events of that day.

He did seem upset. When he offered to smoke, part of the reason you agreed was because he just looked like he needed it, and he spent the first half of the smoke session in silence when normally he wouldn’t be able to shut up. You didn’t question it then, thinking it was just normal JJ on a bad day.

But Kie didn’t come back to the Chateau until days later. Every time you mentioned it she just said she was pulling extra shifts at the Wreck. And when she came back the energy between them was weird… No.

Everything over the past months just clicked in your brain as a lump forms in your throat. JJ kissing you out of nowhere, Kiara’s weird behavior around you two, the secret arguments. Kiara told you she was worried about JJ’s intentions, and it was then you knew the real reason why. He did have feelings for her, and he told her about them and she turned him down. And then he had sex with you.

The lump in your throat grows tenfold, damn near making it hard to breathe as tog continued listening.

“But it’s never really been brought up how they started and I guess I just got nervous about having to lie to her. Again.” You snap back at Kiara’s words. Silence hangs in the air as Sarah’s drunk mind processes.

“I get it. She is happy, but Kie,” Sarah starts, before speaking more delicately. “You’re her sister. You would want to know if the guy you’re dating liked Y/N. if you were in her shoes and this is obviously eating you up still. Why don’t you just tell her? I’m sure-”

Deciding you were done listening, you stepped into the doorway of the bathroom, catching the attention of the two girls. “Yeah, Kiara.”

Sarah’s eyes move to you just as Kiara’s body whips around to face you. You stare back at her, betrayal swimming in your eyes as the tears you can no longer hold back begin to fall, “Why don’t you?”

“Y/N,”

They both spoke your name, still in shock of you listening. Guilt fills Kiara’s eyes as she looks at you, stepping forward and reaching out to you. You back away, pointing at her and opening your mouth to speak but the words get caught in your throat. Not even being able to find the words, you just shake your head.

“Don’t talk to me,” You don’t give her a chance to respond, walking down the hall and outside of the front door. You ignore the calls of your name behind you, only stopping momentarily to look at JJ who’s sitting on the hammock.

At the sound of the door slamming, he turns his head and two emotions come across his face. Concern. Then fear. It was then you confirmed Kiara’s words were true, and you could only walk away from the house and yard, wanting to be as far away from them as possible.

The thought that JJ used you to get over your sister made you sick, and you clutched your stomach as you walked. You heard Sarah and Kiara behind you, the boys making their way over to you as well. You can't even hear what they're saying, too caught up in the thought that the guy you loved not only used you, but lied to you for the entirety of your relationship.

He never had feelings for you. But he knew you had feelings for him. And he knew you would fall at the drop of a dime if it meant he gave you an ounce of attention, and he used that to his advantage.

The feeling of a hand grabbing your arm to turn you around snaps you from your thoughts, "Wait, let me explain. Baby-"

Your hand comes up before you can think, slapping JJ across the face. His head whips to the side at the impact, a pink handprint already appearing as he turns back to you. He still hasn't let go of your arm, gripping it like he's afraid you would float away. And honestly you feel like you might.

"Baby... please-"

"Don't talk to me," You repeat the same sentiment you gave Kiara to JJ, yanking your arm from his grip. "Don't ever talk to me again."

Your voice cracks as you speak, and you could only focus on JJ. He has the nerve to look like a kicked puppy, tears forming in his eyes. What the fuck was he crying for?

"I don't know what you heard but-" He attempted to step closer to you, but you backed away instantly as he reached out for you. If possible, that made him look even more devastated. You wanted to laugh. He did this, and yet he's acting like the one hurt?

"I heard about you having sex with me to get over your rejection from my sister," You snapped, slapping his hand away once he tried to reach for you again. You walked away, JJ following as he pleaded his case.

"Okay, I told Kie I had feelings for her but," He stutters. "But that doesn't matter now-"

"It doesn't matter?" You turn to face him again, the anger on your face forcing JJ to take a step back. "If she would have said yes, you would have never looked my way."

The thought makes your face crumble, and more tears fall as you look at the guy who betrayed you in the worst way.

"You never looked my way," Your bottom lip trembles as you shake your head. "I was just the one you settled for when you couldn't get what you really wanted."

"I did not settle with you-" He begins to argue, his voice growing hard at the fact that you would think that. He's interrupted by you slapping him across the face again.

"At the very least, you could not lie to my face anymore. You've done that enough these last few months," You whisper. You start to break down, chest heaving as you begin to sob.

"I can't even..." You place a hand on your chest, trying to catch your breath before waving him off, "Just.. leave me alone."

You face the rest of the group, looking at the array of emotions. Sarah's crying, John B and Pope both share a shocked expression but it turns to sympathy as they look at you. Your eyes settle on your sister, watching the tears run down her face as she looks back at you guiltily. She says your name, and your eyes harden as you speak to her.

If anyone was supposed to tell you the truth, at all times, it was her. She's your sister and she just sat back and watched you fall for a guy who never cared about you. She sat back and watched you fall for a guy who wanted her.

"Both of you."

You walk away, glad that they took the hint and decided not to follow you. You feel someone walk beside you, though, and you turn to see Sarah as she throws an arm over your shoulder and comforts you as you continue walking from the Chateau, not having any clue how the hell you move forward from here.

---