Max Silvestri Tumbles This Inside You

"Smoke my yogurt?"

"Hi, I happened to be walking by your basement apartment, and I have to ask: could you please manage my wealth?"

I love all the Easter eggs in the new Terminator trailer, like when all the guy soldiers stare at a naked Kyle Reese. "Soldier, in order to go back in time, you have to be TOTALLY naked." "Ok sure, but does the whole squad have to be here?" "Yes that's part of it too."

Twitter added a feature just for comedians to talk shit about other comedians?

Watch @FYI's "Thanksgiving Unstuffed" special this Thursday at 10pm on the FYI Network, hosted by @marcuscooks, @gailsimmonseats & me, here with @meatballers's Daniel Holzman. I don't know why it's called "Unstuffed". We don't unstuff anything.

October 16th: Pittsburg PA @ Byham Theater October 17th: Manshantucket, CT @ Fox Theater at Foxwoods Resort Casino October 18th: Northampton, MA @ Calvin Theatre

I got to go to a party at Questlove’s house and there were chefs and great food and nice people and also cameras. Vanity Fair a video of the whole thing and in it I tell a quick story about undigested fried cheese curds. Also watch for Eugene Mirman being funny and three amazing chefs talking articulately about food.

Ugh don't talk to me in the morning until I've had my first bag of caramel macchiato candy corns.

#tbt #toothmageddon2014

#tbt to last week's #TheFeed, when I had two puppies named Panko and Meatball serve dinner to @gailsimmonseats and @marcuscooks. (Meatball did the heavy lifting.) Tune in tonight at 10pm on @FYI.

Tonight on The Feed this guy teaches me how to kill people by shoving a carrot into their trachea. 10pm on @FYI please watch!

Caught two cars playing soccer

Re-reading a classic

I'm really into political hot sauces.

Tickets and info here.