Look Over Here

         “Shhhh, hey,” Nicky hushed her whimpered words, pulling her to him with his slender but large hands, drawing her further into the bed. It reminded him a little of when she’d first come to Opulence and he’d occasionally sleep on the floor next to her. The first time had been an accident, following times had mostly been when she was trying to get used to the pack. Now she was fine, now she didn’t need it, but in this moment? Maybe she did.

           Wrapping arms around her middle he pulled her to his chest. “Come here, you always protect me, you protect everyone,” Nicky insisted, resting his forehead against her shoulder. “If you whisper then I’ll be good, no loud sounds and I’m good, yeah. We have to make sure you’re good.” Nicky nodded his head, recalling how long it had been since they’d been close like this. He touched her all the time, fingers on her thighs when he rubbed them, nose in her hair when they hugged, but holding her body to his…it had been years.

She watched as he pulled her down towards him and Maxine didn’t fight it. Max wasn’t a stranger to falling in bed beside Nicky. They had done it for years, when she’d first arrived it was a grounding ritual. Then they had grown up. Maxine didn’t need it or Nicky was busy. But right now Maxine need to feel that safety net again, she hadn’t felt this feeling of free falling in years. 

       Obviously he didn’t smell like blood or anything akin to that but Max’s reaction was certainly stronger than he expected. When he was sick or hurt she certainly softened around him, the playful way they behaved becoming more genuine and serious. In that moment however she seemed to completely fall apart at the notion of him being in harm and Nicky was ultimately shocked as she began to apologise, going to sit up when she began to whisper instead of speak or shout, he was shocked to feel her draw his head into her lap.

        “You don’t have to do that,” he said quietly pulling her hands from his ears and easily lacing his fingers with her own. “I’m okay, my head just…such migraines. Whatever is going on in town has turned up the volume,” Nicky explained, nuzzling into her thigh while he could. “What’s going on? Why are you so upset, Max? It’s just a headache, been through worse.”

Max knew this reaction wasn’t normal. She knew there was something wrong with how her feelings had gotten so out of control. Nicky had been sick before, so had she. They’d care for each other but it was hardly cause to fall apart. Yet her she was tears now steadily streaming down her face. “The town yeah,” She agreed softly doing her best to calm herself down, the her increased heartbeat still told the truth. 

          Every time his phone rung it was like it was shaking his entire skull. For a while he had been able to handle all the sounds of the world but the more noise there was the harder it became to exist just anywhere that was not purely silent. The club was awful, the worst of anywhere, but even his home was bad. His neighbours having sex, playing guitar, yelling at their husbands or kids. For a moment he’d tried his parents but his Mother was always moving about and his father’s appetite had only increased during all of this. The last place he had was the trailer and so he’d turned off his phone and was laying in one of the bed, sheets curled up around his body as he absorbed the few sounds there were. Mostly it was animals, quiet and humming but occasionally there were people walking the trailers.

           Nicky could hear one, loud with their steps and moving quickly but they weren’t talking so there was at least not the ringing of irritating voices. However it keep drawing closer and closer to the trailer and Nicky groaned to himself wishing they were not try and observe the packs territory, hands coming over his ears. It wasn’t like they were trying to be loud, or even were presently but he was half expecting teens to just start hitting the trailer with sticks.

        Instead the door swung open, equally as jarring to his ears, but not nearing as mind raking as her voice. Usually when Max spoke it sounded like honey dripping over something vaguely course. In this moment it was like smashing a peanut while holding a speaking to the hammer. “Shhhhh, shhhh, Max,” he whispered, burying his face in the pillow.

He was there, he was there, seeing him laying on the bed the quelled her anxiety for a moment. But it only took a second for her heart to start beating fast again. What was wrong with him? He laid there his hands over his ears. Pain on his face, she’d been right to be worried. Tears welled up in her eyes and she stopped herself from speaking further for a moment while she took in what was going on. 

Her voice a low whisper now. “You’re hurt?” There was guilt and fear dripping from her quiet voice as she spoke. Unable to bare the fear in chest she slid her shoes off and climbed towards him from the foot of the bed. Pushing the pillows and blankets to the side to make room herself. “I’m sorry,” She said softly. “I’m sorry.” The second was hardly even words. 

The panic felt like it might make her chest burst open. Her mind played in a loop her pack members names. They had all responded but one. Max had already turned over his bed room, texted him nineteen times and called twelve. The trailer was the last place she could think. God why was it so hard to breath. Where was he, she’d left him alone to long. He could be hurt, or lost she didn’t know. The rational part of her that knew Nicky was grown man who could for the most part take care of himself seemed too weak to surface against the panic.

Swing the door open to the trailer, her voice was only slightly louder then usual but the fear of not know where he had been was clear. “Nicky? Nicky are you hear.”

“Ya don’t seem very pleased with his proudness.” Intentionally twisting the language to lighten up the mood, Ryden was definitely picking up something there, though he couldn’t quite point his finger at it. “Are you two okay?” He decided to just ask outright and not beat around the bush, since he was bad at it and it wasn’t his style. Of course, the way he so casually inquired gave Max more than enough room to just disregard his curiosity and not talk about it if she didn’t want to.

“Yeah, the lot of ‘um are currently livin’ at one o’the Motels. Seems t’me they’re lookin’ into a more permanent settlement. Which is fine, who am I t’say no.” Ryden shrugged, still not sure what his own thoughts were on this exactly. Ryden could be a very paranoid person at times and it was just a matter of deciding whether this could be a thing he should be paranoid about or not.

“Ya don’t mind puttin’ yer feelers out there for me? It can’t hurt t’keep our eyes open ‘till we know better, right?” And this was exactly why he relied on Maxine so much, insofar that he sometimes wondered why Andrei, the pack’s previous Alpha, haven’t chosen her to replace him. 

“I guess it shouldn’t be my problem.” She said pulling back a bit. Though it was clear those weren’t entirely true. Nicky would be and always has been her problem for better or worse. For better for the most part if she was honest. “We’re fine, for the most part. He’s been strange distant.” Max said with shrug. “Not sure what I said.” 

“I mean you’re the alpha of the pack who already runs, we can say no if you want. It’ll just be a huge problem.” Max said leaning over the counter. She’d reserve her judgement until she meet the other pack at least. 

-

“Ya sound like ya really need a break.” Ryden noticed, offering a sympathetic smile. Next on stage was a face of mild surprise at her request. “At the Supernaturals? Sure, but why didn’t Nicky ask me? I saw him, like, yesterday.” It was a bit weird that Max would push for this when it was mostly Nicky’s business, but Ryden was there to help, not question it.

“Oh, by the way, there were a few things I wanted to run by ya. Ya heard o’that new pack in town, right? Met any of ‘um? What are yer thoughts?” Just like with Nicky, Ryden was interested in other pack members’ opinions on Isaiah’s pack, their situation and the fact that they seemed to be planning to make a permanent residence out of this town. Just like with anything else, Ryden had his own opinions, but it never hurt to hear others’.

“Couldn’t we all.” She said with a sigh, laughing a bit at his comment. Caring for the pack was second nature now. “He’s too proud or something trying to do it all on his own there.” Max said with a shrug of her shoulders. Still feeling a bit uncertain about how things hand ended with Nicky after breakfast. 

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          “I guess,” he said simply when she said very little on it. His own clarity did not reflect in her and so he allowed the topic to fall dead where it had landed. He honestly wasn’t sure what he wanted her to say, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say beyond being just exhausted of living his life in a way that felt alone. He wasn’t lonely, no, he had his family, and his pack that was an extension of that, and he had friends, but he knew in the end he would be in his apartment by himself.

                The waitress returned and it gave Nicky an excuse to shift gears. “Could I get a coffee in a to go cup?” he asked the waitress, nearly done with his food.

She knew he was hurting but she couldn’t understand what to do. Usually Max was very good at fixing Nicky’s problems, but there was something bubble under the surface for him. The line of questioning wasn’t one Max had expected. He was sensitive and Max wasn’t exactly certain what had happened this time to hurt him. So she stayed silent for a moment looking down at her plate. 

-

He leaned over the bar to place a sweet kiss to her cheek, lips making a loud, playful smack while at it. He sat back then, pulling out his pack of Marlboro reds to light up. “Damn, busy day t’day for ya. Take a day off t’morrow, I’ll be in.” He advised, about the Den at least. He did plan to cover both shifts tomorrow anyway. What with the full moon approaching, there shouldn’t be too much work anyway. Possibly the reason why they were having a slow evening today too. People tended to stay in before the big night.

“How you’ve been otherwise, tho? Haven’t had a chance t’see ya proper in a while.” That happened with ‘colleagues’ working in shifts. It wasn’t unusual for the two to fly in different directions, covering for the other when one can’t make it, their personal lives which were completely independent from each other aside.

 -

Max accepted the kiss and nodded at his comment about her schedule. It was mostly out of care she did it. Care for Nicky and her family and care for the pack at the Den. Though it was a blessing that no one seemed to be coming in tonight. “Yeah tomorrow is laundry and sleep day.” There was a longing in her voice when she said it. 

“Oh you know, same as it ever was.” She sighed. “Have you got time this week to come fix the speakers in the private rooms.” Nicky would be livid but Max didn’t care. “I’ve got some cash to throw your way.” 

        “I think a lot of it’s all you, Max,” he assured her, smile on his face as he put it to her mother. “Well my wild animal is fond of your wild animal, I bet a lot of us are, Beta,” Nicky pointed out. Nicky was not among those that were strong like Max was, he was definitely on the lower end of the pack, so most of those that were further up than him definitely felt like they were more likely to win the Beta’s affections than Nicky was, none had stood much of a chance.

         Max made a few jokes and Nicky looked down at his food once more, partially frustrated because she wouldn’t answer him, it was all little jokes here and there. “Seriously, come on, you really just want to not have anyone ever?” he asked her. He’d made it pretty clear he wasn’t for that life when they’d spoke at the club. “Not even marriage, just…to have someone to wake up with and share your life with beyond breakfast before parting?”

It was always strange for Nicky to refer to her as a Beta. With the rest of the pack she fell into the role easily, but with Nicky it never felt right. Mostly because it felt as if he was placing her above him, which never sat right with her. He was the one who saved her after all. So she just laughed and shrugged it off. 

        “Not sure I’d say bad attitude, you’re just not going to take anything lying down, seems a good attitude to have,” he offered up before he sort of smirked at the wild animal part. “As for the wild animal, I quite like her.”

          Nicky pushed his knife through more of his food, shoving the sickly sweet pancakes in his mouth as she spoke, eyes wandering over her. If only he had the words to say, the way Ryden and the other wolves could just let them out. They were smooth, even across a table they could draw someone in, hell they could draw him in if they’d ever tried. Nicky wasn’t sure he had that, even in a moment when he wanted it.

         “You wouldn’t want more than that? Just…a pack and a home?” he asked once he’d swallowed. Nicky wanted more but he also knew he had the privilege of wanting more for most of his life. “You wouldn’t want someone to wake up with? Or like…share a set of keys with?” God what was he even talking about?

“I learned it from your Mama.” She said with a laugh. Though she couldn’t understate how influential Daliah had been in her life. “You’re bias being that you are a wild animal at the same time.” 

She watched as he ate for a moment and wondered how many times they’d done this before. Disappeared with one another as the rest of the world turned. Part of her wondered if it was healthy. Should they hold each other this tightly? 

       “Yeah, I think we both know that is not even a little true, lots of dancers have bad angles,” Nicky chuckled. It didn’t really mean anything. The stage wasn’t like suddenly giving people some sort of movie look, no one had actually perfect angles from every direction. “Besides, I wouldn’t kick you out. Who would I watch to end my night of paperwork?”

        Nicky chuckled of his mother, gifting their kid presents. Dahlia would, though they’d be weird things that grandparents would usually avoid. Tampolines, moon boots, silly things that weren’t ‘in’ anymore. Hell, she’d give the baby moonstones and Nicky would need to stop the baby from swallowing them. “Oh yeah? What makes you not so nice?” Nicky asked, raising a brow.

         “No, I meant…I don’t know what I meant,” Nicky backtracked, looking down at his food. When she’d interpreted him asking if she’d had sex as trying to have children he wasn’t sure how to ask without sounding like a total creep, instead pushing knife through pancake and begining to eat. “I could step back to make time for you to like…have time to be interested in someone, if you wanted that. I like my time with you.”

“Not me though.” She said with a side eye and a small laugh. Max knew people liked the way she looked, but attraction never had much to with looks on her end. Max had to know someone to see them in the light the audience saw herself. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t let go of Nicky. 

“I’ve got a bad attitude and once a month I turn into a wild animal.” Max said between bites of pancake.