27y

You just have to sit with that knowledge. That this only ends one way. How do you even plan for that? Go to the hospital? So you can deal with nurses and doctors downplaying your trauma and telling you it's not that bad? Getting impatient with you for taking too long, or going too fast, or crying/screaming/complaining too much? They might even hurt you out of a lack of compassion, wrenching your legs until they dislocate, pushing you into inducing, epidurals, forcing or threatening you into a c section...

And once it's out, what then? The judgement for being single. Not believing you were raped. Trying to shame and coerce you into keeping it. It's so common for someone to force you to hold it, force you to breastfeed. Leave the baby in the room with you to try to emotionally manipulate you into keeping it even if you don't plan to, hoping guilt and frustration and hormones change your mind. Not caring that the baby has His eyes, will grow up with His nose or His smile that you can't ever quite ignore, can't ever not see that night when you notice.

But what else? Stay home? Trust your family to not judge you as you give birth to a rape baby? Hope nothing goes wrong? Still naked and exposed with the people you least want to see you in this state staring at you. Yea, great, just what every woman wants, her mom or sister standing next to her while she's naked and in pain and terrified. Grunting that she wants to push as her family's hands feel between her legs, or they stare into her vagina.

You started blushing and jumping for cover in embarrassment as a pre-teen if your mom or sibling walked in on you changing, but now you're going to have them there for an hour plus as they watch your soaking wet pussy bulge, your lips slowly, painfully spread wide around the head of your rapists baby, dripping with your fluids? Watching your breasts start to leak, hear you wailing that it hurts, that you hate this, that you don't want to birth His reward for violating you, only to hear your own mother tell you to push again because there's nothing anyone can do now?

So what, you just hide you're in labor? Find some alleyway or a public bathroom or abandoned house? Just hide in your own place, laboring harder and harder in isolation? Trusting your body, your instincts, to guide you through the final part of the worst experience of your life, finally concluding the rape you suffered nine long, awful months ago, that just hasn't stopped?

Anything could happen. You're just praying that your body's utter betrayal ends with childbirth, and it doesn't have more horrible punishments in store for you. Suffering through this piece of Him forcing your cervix open. Moving into and through your birth canal, just listening to the primal demands of your body. There's really nothing else to be done. At least the small mercy is you can just abandon the result at a church or fire station. Never have to see His rape baby again with nobody emotionally blackmailing and coercing you into unwanted motherhood.

Maybe you make a choice going in. Maybe you don't. Maybe the head of your rapists reward ends up pushing into your panties on your drive to work, or you squat in your bestie's bathroom as you feel the burn of crowning because you were just so in denial, so unable, unwilling to accept this, let alone plan it.

So, after I post this, I'm headed out dressed just like this cuz it's such a nice day and I'm marching right up to the clinic to finally get my abortion over with. It's like DMV visits, I alwaaaays put them off. But mine come once or twice a year, depending on how lazy I am and let it get late term. I honestly prefer getting my abortions late anyway, the abortion specialist seems to have more fun with it. And it's more of a spectacle. Everything's about making content these days, right?