Art Blog

My big April Highlight was most certainly getting to complete my knight drawing, that’s for sure. What a drawing!

I will be milking this for a while, you can be sure of that! I’ve been thinking of giving the lineart file to a few friends and/or my sister to see their take on it, but I also feel like I don’t want to inflict this beast on anyone else, haha.

I’ve kind of just taken to calling it Sleeping Beauty or Dornröschen after the original Sussmann-Hellborn sculpture. Back when I was still about halfway through with it, I had a bit of poetry take form in my head about the illustration, inspired by a podcast I was listening to at the time (more on that later). I didn’t stop to write the verses down, however, so it’s lost to me at the moment. Maybe (hopefully) it will pop back up in my brain at some point!

(I also found out why some of my notes had Louis Sussmann-Hellborn and some had Ludwig Sussman-Hellborn! I thought it was an autocorrect thing but turns out Sussmann-Hellborn was born Ludwig but went as Louis professionally? I don’t know, glad I figured it out. I was so unsure of how Ludwig transformed into Louis in my notes…)

I am torn between LOOK AT THIS THING I MADE and simply never wanting to talk about my Sleeping Beauty illustration ever again because I am so tired of it, haha. I had an art professor in college tell our class once that you should spend the same amount of time looking at a piece after you finish it as you spent working on it. I’ve been trying to take that to heart but also not overdo it and get burnt out!

Yes, I’ve still been slowly re-working my 2024 illustration The Liminal to prepare it for a watercolor painting. I’m still at the drawing stage in the Procreate App on my iPad; I don’t think I’ll start actually painting it until I get my medical boot off later this month/early next month, but we’ll see. I’m trying to be Good but I’m also Impatient.

I fixed the issue with the figure’s hands/arms that always seemed off to me in the original, but I’m still working on the car. The background will mostly stay the same, because with watercolor I’ll be able to do a much better job giving texture and depth to the sky and trees. I’m very excited to work on it, but I have to remember to stay off my foot as much as possible and not walk around carting my watercolor supplies back and forth. (Please remind me of this, I need to make sure I recover in time for my wedding!)

Speaking of my wedding…! Another reason I have to wait and start on the aforementioned painting is because I’ve been working on a lot of art stuff for my wedding at the end of June. Some of the things I’ve been creating still feel too personal to share at the moment, but I did want to show you all our favors that I made. Garrett and I saw that some couples giving out seed favors during our Wedding Research (yes, this is A Thing) and with the devastating wildfires that plagued Los Angeles last year we thought fire restoration wildflower seeds would be a lovely idea. They’re viable in all 10 planting zones, not just Southern California! I designed the graphic, but the stickers I purchased from Amazon… I know, I wanted to design and print my own stickers but we just don’t have the time/budget.

The plan is to display them in a gardening wheelbarrow one of Garrett’s aunts is lending us. A lot of the logistics of the wedding decor are still coming together, I got pretty set back with my foot unfortunately, but I’ve had a lot of wonderful folks offer their help and support which I am so grateful for! So I have a good feeling everything will be done in time.

If you read my blogs (and thank you so much if you do!) you’ll remember that for Christmas I made both of my siblings photo albums with childhood and baby photos I found in my family’s storage unit. WELL, I continued making photo albums and I have five that I’m trying to complete in order to display them at the wedding for my family to look at. There are some photos we haven’t seen in ages or have completely forgot about! It sounds like a lot, I’m aware of this, but I’ve already got three done and the other two are about halfway there. There are so many wonderful memories… some photos bring back memories of just like, general objects that I completely forgot about, like these metal wall planters that my grandparents used to have on their walls! Here they are in a photo of my mom! Looks like this was taken on one of her birthdays in the 1970s.

Besides art and the general wedding planning stuff, and like, a looooot of FB Marketplace and EBay, like I said… there’s not much going on with me lately (I wish I could have gone to FanFest, but even if I had gotten tickets, there’s no way I could have gone with my foot!). I did mention a podcast earlier that partially inspired that line of poetry that slipped out of my head while I was working on my knight drawing… that podcast was definitely another highlight of my April, even if it was a more somber highlight. The second season of The Telegraph’s Bed of Lies series, which covered the worldwide contaminated blood plasma crises and cover-up during the AIDS epidemic, really blew me away— I can’t really think of another way to describe how I feel besides cliches because it’s all so beyond words.

I did post about S2 of Bed of Lies online as I was listening to it because while I did know hemophiliacs were affected by contaminated medication, I didn’t know the magnitude and scale of which it all occurred— I had no idea. Back in my 7th grade science class we watched a documentary that has stuck with me to this day about Ryan White, an American teen and hemophiliac who contracted and died from AIDS due to his Factor VIII, a life saving medication for hemophiliacs like him, being contaminated with HIV. Like… I guess I thought, he was the only one? One of a few? I learned It was thousands of hemophiliacs across the globe who died and contracted HIV from contaminated Factor VIII. Cara McGoogan’s reporting on this podcast about the scandal, cover-up and subsequent trials for the victims and survivors (which are still happening today) was incredible. I know she has also written some books on the subject which I definitely want to read as well.

Here is a link to Season 2 of Bed of Lies. It’s not an easy listen… but I think it’s an important one. I was born in 1989 (when Ryan White contracted HIV form Factor VIII, coincidentally) so I did technically live through the AIDS crises… but as a baby at the time so obviously there is still so much I don’t know. Honestly though, the AIDS epidemic is just not talked about enough. This is just one tip of many, many tips of a giant proverbial iceberg; the podcast also touched on how woman’s reproductive rights were violated during this time which like… is Not Surprising but also something I was largely ignorant about. Anyway, go listen. You can find it anywhere, but I’m an Apple user so here’s an Apple Podcast link:

While on the topic of Difficult Topics, after waiting two or three months on a library waitlist, I at last got to read What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo. The book chronicles Stephanie Foo’s life journey and her battle with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and it was absolutely worth the wait. (When I have a little extra cash, I’d like to buy a copy to for my bookshelf and support Foo!) As with Unseen by Molly Burke, I wasn’t super familiar with Stephanie Foo’s reporting and podcast work… I just saw the book and was intrigued by the title… and the gorgeous cover!

A little personal tidbit about me, which I don’t mind sharing because I believe strongly in being open about mental health, I have been diagnosed with and treated for PTSD by therapists and psychiatrists. I’ve long suspected that I, too, have C-PTSD, but since it’s not in the DSM-5 (the psychiatry diagnosis bible, basically) there’s no way for me to get an “official” diagnosis. Which doesn’t bother me— psychology is a relatively new thing in the span of human history, I’m sure we’ll figure it out sooner or later. I also don’t particularly find labels and terminology very helpful, personally; for me, reading or hearing people’s stories, like Stephanie Foo’s, is validating enough.

There were a lot of great things I got out of What My Bones Know, but the Pride Journaling in addition to Gratitude Journaling was something really positive that I hadn’t thought of and incorporated into my life right away. I now do Gratitude and Pride journaling at the end of every week, recognizing the things I’m grateful for, but also the things I have done that I should pride myself for. I have a lot of cute stickers for my journal/planner too, so that helps!

I’d like the later half of this blog entry, which is definitely becoming longer than I intended, to be a bit more positive! While recovering from the fracture in my right foot, I’ve been watching a lot of animal documentaries. Some of note were The Secret Lives of Animals (Apple TV), Born To Be Wild (also Apple TV) and Cats of Malta (Kanopy). The Secret Lives of Animals covers a single topic each episode with animals that have unique behaviors that reflect that topic. For example… one of the most interesting ‘Secret Lives’ of an animal for me was the symbiotic relationship between frogs and tarantulas in the episode about animal friendships! If, like me, you didn’t know: frogs have been observed traveling on the backs of tarantulas in jungles around the world. The frogs can reach parasites on the tarantulas’ backs that the tarantulas normally can’t reach so they don’t mind ferrying the little guys around, it’s a win-win situation. It’s hard to find a good picture of this relationship, so I recommend watching The Secret Lives of Animals or seeing if you can find this behavior on YouTube or something! I think it would make for a charming illustration if I’m being completely honest!

There’s also a featurette at the end of each episode showcasing how the wildlife cinematographers achieved the shots they did. I love behind-the-scenes stuff personally, so this was really neat to see.

Cats of Malta was a lovely little doc about the stray cats of Malta that reminded me of one of my favorite all-time documentaries Kedi, which is also about stray cats, the stray cats of Istanbul. Born To Be Wild is about the global effort of animal conversationists to help and prepare endangered animals born and/or raised in captivity to be released into the wild. It had a wonderful soundtrack by David Schweitzer as well! This little theme for Sagalee the moon bear cub is my favorite.

My other recovery activity has been playing Pikmin 4… some of my favorite weird little guys! Seeing all the miniatures and the tilt shift effect that is used to make things look tiny reminds me of how much I’d love to get into miniature building someday… it always makes me think of those I Spy books! I still have one of my copies from when I was a kid.

And of course the 7.5 patch for Final Fantasy XIV. I won’t say much because Spoiler Embargo (it hasn’t even been a week!) but I loved it. I’m excited to see where the story goes next. I CAN share this screenshot I feel, because Zero was in the trailer for the patch. All the FFIV/Cecil feels… 🥲

Was this blog longer or shorter than my others? I don’t know! But thank you for sticking with me and reading it. I will leave you with a fun new sticker I got from MollyIllustration on Etsy!

Here’s to a marvelous May!

Mattie

The header for this month’s blog post is Garrett and I on my birthday taken by our friend KC! After nine and a half years together, we’re finally getting married! With Garrett going to college for the first time and applying to schools out-of-state, we figured it was time we tied the knot. Our wedding will be a casual, lowkey affair at the end of June, but we’re both over the moon… it’s finally happening!

I wish I could only bring you happy tidings of my recent engagement, but unfortunately that’s not the case. I wish it WERE an April Fool’s joke but no, I broke my foot. I’ve only been seen by a nurse and doctor at Urgent Care and I won’t be able to see a podiatrist until the 21st of this month. I was told it’s what they call a chip fracture. It doesn’t hurt too badly fortunately, and besides that and a friction burn on my knee (which has honestly kind of been worse than the fracture) in addition to some minor cuts and bruises, I’m okay. It still sucks, though, of course.

Me after Urgent Care… I’ve never had crutches or broken any bones before, so it’s been An Experience.

With my sudden injury I’ve had the chance to work more on this particular drawing of mine that has been an absolute beast. I had this idea to draw the female knight I drew last year in a piece inspired by Ludwig Sussmann-Hellborn’s Dornröschen (Sleeping Beauty) sculpture. I did a marker sketch first, which convinced me this was something I can actually draw and that I should go for it. Don’t underestimate the power of preliminary sketches!

Not long after, I started working on a digital version in the Procreate App on my iPad. Like I said earlier… it is a beast of a drawing. But I’m enjoying the process, and I appreciate everyone’s early feedback on it!

(Yes, I realize I’ve been typing out Luis Sussmann-Hellborn instead of Ludwig and I don’t know how that happened, probably Apple’s weird AI autocorrect, but please understand that I know it’s Ludgwig, not Louis!)

I bought a sheet of watercolor paper this month as well! I do still plan on painting a new version of my 2024 illustration The Liminal, but not until I finish the above artwork. One thing at a time!

I’m about 20 hours in on my drawing of my lady knight, and since it’s a lot of meticulous detail work I’ve been looking for interesting podcast series to listen to. I found a singular episode of the podcast Radio Lab titled “The Helen Keller Exorcism”. In this episode, speculative fiction writer Elsa Sjunneson explores the real Helen Keller: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Like Keller, Sjunneson is deafblind herself and has been compared to Keller since childhood. It’s such a good episode that explores a range of topics that go far beyond that of Helen Keller. You can find “The Helen Keller Exorcism” from Radio Lab for free everywhere you can find podcasts, but here’s the link to where I listened to it on Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-experiment/id1549704404?i=1000555083009

If you have any other Radio Lab episodes that you’d think I’d like, let me know! I really enjoyed this episode but I’m a little daunted by just how many episodes this podcast has and I’m not sure where to start.

Since I mentioned a standalone podcast episode, I’ll talk briefly about a wild podcast series I listened to this month titled Inconceivable Truth. It’s what I call a “audio documentary” podcast, they’re usually about 6-10 episodes or so and tell a single story (This is probably one of my favorite podcast formats, and I’m always looking for good series to listen to!). Inconceivable Truth follows investigate reporter Matt Katz after he discovers, through an ancestry DNA test that Katz and his wife take for their anniversary, that his Deadbeat Dad is not his biological father. In fact, not even Katz’s mother, who conceived him with the help of a fertility clinic in the 1970s, was aware of this. This podcast covers the shadiness of early fertility clinics (and the medical industry as a whole), identity, family… It’s definitely an emotional rollercoaster ride. Again, I listen on Apple Podcasts and so here’s a link to Inconceivable Truth here, but you can find it for free anywhere Podcasts live.

There are so many synchronicities in this story that I personally found gut wrenching! I don’t know what I believe in as a whole, but when coincidences lineup in life, I always take it to mean I’m on the right track! So this applies to Matt Katz and his half siblings, too, I think.

I’ve started to use Apple services again as I’m primarily an Apple user (Music, Podcasts, etc). After a conversation with the family friends Garrett and I visited last month in San Diego, I re-subscribed to Apple TV. I’ve always felt like Apple TV has a reputation for picking up some really interesting shows. Of course, as most of you know, I’m a huge Severance fan but I also really enjoyed the series Servant and I’ll be forever grateful that Apple picked up Cartoon Salon’s Wolf Walkers (and Apple Arcade picking up Fantasian). I just feel like Apple gives a lot of opportunities to a lot unique projects, I suppose because they really had to build up their library when they first joined the streaming game. Like everyone else, I watched Vince Mulligan’s new show Pluribus which I really enjoyed, as it touched some of the same topics that Severance does- consciousness, grief, weird science fiction… I won’t give this scene away, but this is like… the best scene in television history—

In addition to Pluribus I watched Government Cheese, about a criminal-turned-inventor in the San Fernando Valley during the 1960s. I watched it for The San Fernando Valley Of It All (I was born and grew up in Glendale!) so I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Government Cheese had a surreal/fantastical side to it. It has no horror elements whatsoever, so maybe a comparison to shows like Severance, Servant or even Twin Peaks isn’t appropriate, but it has the same vibes!

It’s an under-appreciated show and I hope it comes back for a second season. Had to share this screencap as someone struggling to get fishing achievements in Final Fantasy XIV.

I also watched Right Here, Right Now, the Ghost movie/documentary with Garrett! Garrett is absolutely far more into the band Ghost than I am, but I still enjoyed it!

Garrett and I have been playing a few more games together this month, we played Mortuary Assistant and I’m On Observation Duty 5… we have not beaten either, haha. I also bought myself the witchy game Reka, which is still in Early Access, for my birthday. Even in its very early form with all of its bugs and glitches, Reka is already a special game that speaks to my heart. I can’t wait to play the full game! It’s the exact type of game I need in my life right now, and best of all it’s not that demanding on my tendonitis like other games are (such as FFXIV, as much as I love it).

Before I broke my foot, I got a chance to see the PSYOPS & PHOTO OPS photography group show at La Luz De Jesus Gallery! I always enjoy their shows so I’m glad I got to see it. Surprisingly one of my favorite pieces ended up being the shot of the construction workers in DTLA by Gary Leonard! It reminded me of the wonderfully charming episode of the podcast Ephemera which shares an old recording that was found of Chicago construction workers in the 1960s-70 rehearsing an original song they wrote about building the Sears Tower. I don’t remember what the episode is called, but just go listen to all of Ephemera, it’s such a great podcast.

As usual though, I really enjoyed the pieces in this show. La Luz De Jesus is awesome! I also love the store in front of the gallery, Wacko’s Soap Shop. I recently found a seashell jewelry box that I bought for my mom at Wacko’s for Mother’s Day over a decade ago. It had to be tossed as it was in poor shape, but it was good to find it and have the memory rekindled.

I will end this blog post with photos of my DnD Box! I have posted these already but I usually treat these blogposts like an art recap. I told myself no more staining wood, but now I’m considering painting a wooden welcome sign for our wedding, and staining some wood panel, because of course I am.

March was quite the month for me, and I’m hoping to have some downtown in April to recover and plan our wedding (and finish my lady knight)!

As always, thank you for reading and for the support,

For the shortest month of the year, I did more artwork than I’ve done in a while! My heart is full. The tendinitis that’s plagued me for almost a year now has been under control with some lifestyle changes on my part. It’s been a challenge but I’m glad to be back creating.

“Second Story Work” was such a fun piece. A little backstory on Pan in case you’re new here: my partner and our friend found Pan as a kitten under a car when Pan was just 3 weeks old back in 2019. The three of us raised Pan together for the next two years, then Pan went to go live with our aforementioned friend, and has lived with him ever since. Still, the little rapscallion has always held a tender place in my heart. I created a Dungeons and Dragons character based on Pan for a campaign with a different friend group and he’s been such a joy to play and develop. This illustration (with the title taken from the slang for burglar that’s also a feature of the Rogue class in DnD) is an ode to all things Pan and his CRIMBES. I’m working on exploring more environmental storytelling in my work, and I’m glad many people think that I was successful with this piece!

I also made two little goofy sketches, one I had the idea for while playing through the Resident Evil 4 Remake with Garrett and the other is a weird/obscure joke combining a scene from Meet Me In St. Louis and the latest 7.4 patch in Final Fantasy XIV. Hard to explain that one, I guess, IYKYK.

I’m continuing to dip my toe back into watercolors after 6 years. I found an old Moleskine watercolor sketchbook (that was Not Great, but I digress) and painted Garrett’s brother’s dogs.

Lastly, Garrett and I went to San Diego for Valentine’s Day Weekend to visit one of my mom’s oldest friends. We had a wonderful visit! On Valentine’s Day we watched the Sunset at the aptly named Sunset Cliffs and I did some marker sketches…. Like watercolors, this was my first time working with marker in many years as well. I can’t recommend Talens Art Creations sketchbooks for markers enough, functionally it’s great paper, and the colors also just look beautiful.

Here’s a photo I took at Sunset Cliffs, of the spot where Garrett and I watched the sunset together and I did my sketches!

For new-to-me media this month, I at last got around to watching the 2022 film The Quiet Girl (An Cailín Ciúin). Which is a film I’ve been meaning to watch for I guess… four years now but finally did because I saw it on Kanopy, the streaming service I get with my library card. It’s a coming-of-age story set in rural Ireland in the 80s starring Catherine Clinch as Cáit, a neglected nine-year-old who goes to live with her cousin Eibhlín Cinnsealach and her husband Seán for the summer. Eibhlín, who is played by Carrie Crowley, has a line that really stuck with me:

“If there are secrets in a house, there is shame in that house.”

It’s a touching movie, and I highly recommend it. Catherine Clinch is also Méav Ní Mhaolchatha’s daughter!

EDIT: I completely forgot to write about watching the anime Love Through A Prism! I had opened Netflix to finish Warrior (the Cinemax show with Andrew Koji) as it was leaving soon but I wasn’t like… I really enjoy Warrior but it’s pretty violent and I just wasn’t in the mood for it. Love Through A Prism was on the front page of my recommendations and I decided that since it was around Valentine’s Day, a shoujo anime was more my speed. The anime centers around a young Japanese painting student named Lili Ichijoin studying abroad in London in the early 20th century. It was gorgeously animated (it’s a Wit Studio production) and the final few episodes moved me to tears; it still hurts my heart to think about them!

I believe it is a Netflix exclusive, an ONA: original net anime, a term new to me. And yeah, I’d like to get rid of my Netflix subscription but I need it for Cozy Grove 2 unfortunately.

Anyway, Love Through A Prism is a beautiful, heart-wrenching shoujo anime and if that’s your thing, give it a watch. Even if it’s not your thing, give it a watch because it’s good!

(This is normally where I’d put a screenshot but I’m maxed out my photo limit for Tumblr posts.)

started watching Pluribus as well! I’m not finished, so I’ll have to hold off on my Thoughts™️ for now.

I picked up Creature Kitchen after seeing an Instagram reel about it and honestly? It was $7.99 USD well spent. I think I played it over the weekend and it’s such a charming little game filled with much spookiness and whimsy! A few friends have asked and no, I don’t think Creature Kitchen is scary… it’s more of a “fun Halloween” vibe. If you’re looking for a comfy weekend game after a hard week… I can’t recommend it enough. I had such a blast playing it!

Since the big Animal Crossing: New Horizons update was last month, I’ve been playing it again! I got to meet my sister as well as my friend Nova in-game! Thanks again Nova for the flowers!

The last little thing I want to share at the end here is Nowhere Burning, Catriona Ward’s new book. I haven’t read all of her books, but what I have read I’ve enjoyed, especially Sundial. I pre-ordered Nowhere Burning back in November as a very early birthday gift as I saw the end-of-February release date was close to my birthday. The blurb/summary is basically “Runaway children gather in the abandoned ruins of a former Hollywood star’s home in the Rocky Mountains” and I was intrigued from the moment I read it. I didn’t realize it was a bit on the shorter side, just under 300 pages, and I powered through it. Ward’s thrillers never fail to disappoint and this one may be my favorite of hers yet…!

The UK cover, which is pictured above, is much cooler than the US version if I’m being honest!

~

I had an eventful month for it being so short. I’m still super busy in my personal life, but, I’m getting somewhere with all this storage and moving stuff and hopefully it will come to an end soon. I’m glad I was able to get this little short blog out and re-cap all of the art I got to make this month (yay!) and share a few things with you all.

Take care, and talk to you soon,