Matthews Ohotto

So Who Wants To See Orlando Bloom Strike Out With Katy Perry?

Orlando Bloom tried to bang Katy Perry’s breasts. It didn’t work.

David Bowie Died (1947 – 2016)

David Bowie died this morning after a private battle with cancer.

No, Not Alan Rickman (1946 – 2016)

Iconic actor Alan Rickman has died of cancer at the same exact age as David Bowie, so nothing weird or creepy there.

Gwyneth Paltrow Eats The Oreos, Like A Poor

Gwyneth Paltrow is familiar with your sandwich cookies.

Nick Carter Got Drunk And Tried To Fight A Bouncer, He Lost

Nick Carter tried to fight a bouncer, yet somehow ended up getting his ass beat and arrested. It’s a mystery.

So Sean Penn’s Head’s Getting Cut Off

Sean Penn interviewed El Chapo for Rolling Stone, which ended with the drug lord being captured the day the article was published. Whoops.

Lindsay Lohan Is A Racist Who Spits On People Now

Lindsay Lohan got kicked out of a bar for yelling racial slurs at a bartender and then spitting on a dude who told her to knock that shit off.

Charlotte McKinney In A Wet T-Shirt Just Bumped Hilary Duff

Those are Charlotte McKinney’s nipples. Click, my little butterflies, click like the wind!

Farrah Abraham Has Her Daughter Tweeting Nicki Minaj Now

Nicki Minaj destroyed Farrah Abraham on Twitter who’s now using her daughter as a weapon because our stupid-ass country won’t do forced sterilizations yet.

And Now A Moment For Mike Tyson’s Political Opinions

Mike Tyson thinks presidential elections are called “the finals.” So, yeah, you can tell him he’s wrong if you want.

It’s Kaley Cuoco’s Boobs, Your Favorite

Kaley Cuoco’s boobs are here. You’re gonna click on them.

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.14.16

Yo Ventura’s butt in a thong, Kendall Jenner’s butt in hairy yoga pants, Scott Disick couture boot shopping and Jamie Kennedy dying. It’s The Crap We Missed.

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.12.16

Candice Swanepoel’s naked ass, Pamela Anderson’s nipples and son, Daniel Baldwin’s painted toenails, and Josh Duhamel cropdusting Axl. It’s The Crap We Missed.

Good Morning, Hannah Davis Bikini Photos, And Other News

Amber Heard might be Aquaman’s girlfriend. [Lainey Gossip]

Steven Avery’s ex says he’s guilty as fuck now. [Dlisted]

El Chapo’s lawyer calls Sean Penn a liar. [TMZ]

Wilmer Valderrama lied to you, Demi Lovato. [IDLYITW]

Your morning links.

Yup, Those Are Hilary Duff’s Boobs, Hold My Calls

Hilary Duff’s boobs are out. You might want to stand back.