A Mess with an Attitude

the crown jewel of dad jokes

to the ppl who’ve called me homophobic: i literally live in a house 

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

This is fire

tfw u say smthn gay by mistake around The Hets and the kill bill alarm goes off in your head and you look like taxidermy fox until they brush off the suspicion and go back to talking about straight people things

that is… that is such a specific description… but it is somehow so ACCURATE?

not to scare you but you’ve already been in a unisex bathroom before. look out…there might even be one………in your own home…………