Math Professor Quotes

Mother's day is coming up. If you're looking for a present you can just pick a weight function, create a series, and name it after your mother. Of course, this is not incredibly useful in mathematical physics.

I don't care about those people.

That's a good guy. That's someone everybody wants.

You can use this at a party if the person you're talking to is someone you're trying to impress, or if you're trying to get them to go away. It works in both cases.

Every time I climb Mount Everest, I eat a pizza.

Oh, I forgot to row reduce to echelon form. My father told me not to smoke, but I did anyway. Class is done. Please go.

I remember being a kid and learning about protective duality.

You can do it by playing Poohsticks or using the curl operator. Whatever you prefer.

e^x is God's function. ln(x) is the Devil's function.

Sometimes I finished the class too early, sometimes too late. I am a statistician, so on average I was always perfectly on time.

I'm a mathematician. When I hear someone say a pun is the lowest form of wit, I take that as a minimization problem. How low can I go?

The f word of mathematics is 'fractions'

Student: We will conjure dark spirits from the other side to harm you.

I've had 18 teeth pulled. This silence is more painful than that.

You might be wondering why we are doing this. It’s because it works.

Student: Um, I'm confused by your notation. Is this just an abuse of notation?

Everything I say is based.