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Love Begins
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JBB: An Artblog!

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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@massivedickenergy

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The Enneagram type I think I am: 4w5 The Bohemian
Type 4 With A 5 Wing; The Visionary
Notably more numerous than the other subtype, the Four with a 5 wing tends to be mysterious, moody and individualistic, less practical or concerned with consensus than those with a 3 wing. This type embodies the maverick, paradigm shattering spirit of The Artist As Innovator and, consequently, tend to swim against the stream, appearing to many as exasperatingly “bloody minded” and difficult (“The Artistic Temperament”), often directed by forces that no one, perhaps not even they themselves, can perceive or understand. Highly motivated by integrity, this type combines the Five’s commitment to truth with the Fours idealism and can be, when healthy, especially empathic, self- revealing and authentic. More than the other subtype, Fours with a 5 wing place a premium on their inner world, and may have problems manifesting their ideas, often feeling overwhelmed by the demands of “real life”, seeking respite in the hot house of their imaginings. When they do, however, it is with a determination and single- minded steeliness that belies their apparent frailty. Indeed this subtype often manifests a fire, charisma and allure lacking in those of the somewhat more conventional 3 wing. It is interesting that both Four and Five are introverted types and yet members of this subtype feature prominently in any role- call of creative icons. Perhaps the intellectual seriousness of the Five acts in accordance with the individuality of the Four, lending an inner- directed self- sufficiency and affinity for abstract systems that is conducive to the commitment and resolve necessary to bring their deepest, darkest dreams blinking into the light of day.
Here we find commonality in “apartness”; Outsiders who failed to find recognition in their lifetimes (Vincent Van Gogh, Nick Drake), artists whose unpredictable singularity would defy classification or marketing strategies (Scott Walker, Miles Davis), composers who forwarded a graceful, dreamlike aesthetic (Claude Debussy, Maurice Ravel), performers who transcended boundaries of both gender and genre (Prince, David Bowie) or defied the stultifying and limited scope extended to female artists (Joni Mitchell, Nina Simone, Kate Bush). What unites all these very different individuals is a sense of artistic integrity, a willingness to forsake commercial success for that of creative fulfilment, and a defiance of dominant mores and fashions. Members of this subtype often appear like fully- formed walk- ins from another dimension; that they usually feel like this is perhaps why they are, when unhealthy, especially subject to despondency, alienation and withdrawal, disregarding life as worthless and brutish. However, it is perhaps this same sense of apartness that makes the Four with a 5 wing the outsider who embodies and makes tangible otherwise hidden Universal thoughts, feelings and sensations.
Advice
Celebrate the wealth of your inner landscape with external manifestations, and don’t be perturbed by initial setbacks. Remember you are no less capable, and no more prone to misfortune, than anyone else.
and they’re right, the best place to hide a tree is in a forest;
we spent lifetimes behind walls clusters of blocker frequencies designed to diminish our potential
and here we are atoms floating in god’s amnesia
architects of our own destruction
by Hailey Pierce

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fuck this song 😩
“Sometimes you tell someone to never call you again and then the phone rings and you hope it’s them. It’s the most twisted logic of all time.”
— John Mayer

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nine in the afternoon // panic! at the disco
My heart! She longs for something ! What does this bitch want
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
—F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby