Marzuli

I begin to meditate on the fact that I’ve been away for far too long; But what can I say, these stars are far too beautiful.

Well Here We Go.

The way I saw it, I had Two Roads…

1. I leave My Home… and Search the Universe, For…Something.

Or

2. End it; “Curtain Closed” Good Bye, I love you all.

I figured it’s time to go, one way or the other.

I kinda like it out here,

I’ve seen wonders

Experienced…

Experiences.

But most of all

Best of all

The Endless

Stillness

Endlessly Ending

A Melancholic Aulic (Correct Spelling)

Almost Thirty…

Where’d you think we’d be at this age?

Honestly?

I’ve never had to articulate these words before till recently, but for anyone who’s been in the pits of depression or is in those pits at the moment, this could probably help you out. :)

I have a friend who shared what he was going through with me, and I gave him an honest response. Obviously something that worked for me might not work for you. This was the lowest low of my life so far, and what I offered him really changed my way of thinking about my depression.

I say “my” because regardless of what anyone tells you, it’s a part of you in any way you look at it or try to deal with it. Mind Body and Soul.

Talking to someone you genuinely trust in those moments, even when it’s hard as fuck to do is extremely helpful in two ways. They might not be able to help you if they haven’t been through it or aren’t trained or some shit, but the important thing is that you trust them. Talking gives you the chance to say the words out loud. Just hearing myself say the words made them seem smaller which cleared my headspace, which is number Two. I was able to think clearer and try to refocus and get a handle on some things.

After the wave had passed, I started to read and watch insightful podcasts; Not just to pass the time but really put emphasis on learn something, anything. I found a whole other rollercoaster to My Spirituality which also flourished but this isn’t about that lol, (if you have questions message me lol I’d love someone to share this knowledge with)

But I’ll close with this; I learned allot about how to handle my emotions and navagate the waters so much more effectively. I decided to meditate on the emotions that trigger my episodes and really try feeling what I feel in those moments. That’s when I truly found myself. I pushed through all the bullshit that was keeping me pinned and I asked myself really hard questions about who I am and who I was pretending to be. That shit hurt, but I learned allot about myself and I’m thankful for that.

There’s always someone there to listen and help. They’re just a whisper away.