Possibly worth noting the alternative side of this:
Coming out publicly was intended as a deeply political act to be undertaken as activism.
The origins of things like National Coming Out Day weren't "have a chat about your sexuality/gender on socials", they were an active and targeted campaign to be like "oh, you think this doesn't affect you? you think you don't know any gay people? you think the AIDS crisis is happening somewhere else to strangers? surprise bitch we were here in your life the WHOLE TIME"
And it was effective at that! But also: the nature of that kind of activism is that it's a decision that needs to be weighed up against the cost of doing so. Like arrestable protest actions, like whistleblowing, like holding a rally in a hostile community, there is a whole calculus in play about what it will accomplish vs. what it will cost.
Most of society, thanks to coming-out movements, does know that there are gay people in their community (we're still maybe working on trans recognition, but.) Most homophobia I've experienced is not based on "I've never met a gay", so much as "I've met gay people and it made me very uncomfortable" (or, indeed, "some of my best friends are gays, I just don't like when they shove it in my face").
This doesn't mean we should disappear, but it does shift that cost-benefit analysis from where it was in the 80s and 90s. The cost of being out in public is still high. The political benefits, while palpable, are different, and possibly less, because of the work that the previous generations have already done.
And, like arrestable actions or whistleblowing or rallies, you are allowed to decide you're not in a place to do that now. That doesn't make you a bad queer or a bad activist. It just means that you might need to turn your energy elsewhere, and that when you do that cost-benefit analysis, the cost is higher than the benefit.
Coming out is a complicated thing, but it's not what makes you queer. It's not even what makes you a queer activist. Thousands of queer people did amazing work for the community without ever publicly coming out of the closet.
It is a brave and laudable thing to come out to a hostile world that needs to be reminded that we're here, we're queer, and we won't disappear. But it's not the only thing. And not doing it does not condemn you.
