Mary Patterson Broome

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Feel very torn about how much I’m gonna put my baby on the Internet but I think a sketch while she’s still in the womb is acceptable.

Made this with my very talented colleagues at It’s a Southern Thing. Truthfully, being out of the South for 14 years made me forget about the fact that I am now officially “ma’am” status here. I left when I was 22 and at the time, never got called “ma’am” anywhere. I still shudder a little any time I hear it but am trying to come to terms with it—I am 37 after all, well past “Miss” status. 

My life story in a video.

Where Are They Now: The Instagram Influencer Edition

If you’re out there still stomaching the Trader Joe’s all natural or Laura Scudder’s aggressively heavy glass jar or Justin’s (you must be a millionaire, if it’s the last one), I applaud you. I know fully hydrogenated vegetable oils probably (definitely) aren’t good for me but since I do not partake of alcohol or drugs, I think mainlining a tablespoon (or four) of Jif every day is justifiable.

REMEMBER WHEN WE ALL HAD HOPE FOR 2020?

I moved back to ‘bama after 14 years in LA! I came back for a comedy writing job. If you told me 14 years ago that I’d be going back in order to further my comedy career, I would have been like, whatever, and continued cursing through Los Angeles traffic. 

www.scottfromsanfrancisco.com

Here’s my Marshall’s bit. 

This Yelp review of a frozen yogurt place in my neighborhood is the best thing I’ve written in years, IMHO.