Our parents,teachers,and peers often tell us to think about the bigger picture. That's the problem with life these days. We are always focused on the bigger picture. That keeps us from enjoying the little things because we are so focused on a future that's going to be scarred,broken,and demolished no matter what we do in the long run. You know why? There is no hope for us in this society. They make sure we never feel it. Something I came to realize is that hope doesn't exist. RP Blog Only
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I've seen the mountains and the caves inbetween. I've seen rooftops with sunsets that I wish would never end. There were desserts I traveled with a mythical believer beside me. Walls I've climbed with a boy from another land. Cities I've cried in with a boy from my past. Halls I've traveled on my lonesome. Stairways I've held the dead and pushed away the living. Bars I've slept behind with the ones I loved. Theaters where we were all together for the last time. Then ballrooms when I left her behind. My life ended. I am no longer in a world of disaster. No longer do I have to suffer for the sins of our ancestors. But I left Nery and Ollie and Bae and Ceili. I'll see them someday in the future. I just hope they live their lives to the best that they can. It's too short you know.
I have a confession. Not even Isaac knew the truth of my reaping. I volunteered to die. Suicide would not work. I tried once before but I was saved. This would be the one place where I could not be saved. I shortened my life so I could join my daughter. There are some deaths you just can't push aside. All the trips to her grave site were never enough. In the plane of the living I would never be with her.
This place is white and clouded. My hair is down in loose waves. I'm wearing a dress that's opalescent in color. It was all so strange.
"If you use that brain of yours then you won't always have to wear white."
I whip my head around. It's him. Xavier. He's really here. Where's my daughter....
"Don't worry your pretty little head. She's here with the twat."
I roll my eyes. Even in death he's a sassy asshole. I run over and hug him. I can't believe he's really here in front of me. This view of him is better than the one I saw in the stairwell. He pushes me away gently and turns me around.
"What are you -" My sentence stops short as I realize who is in front of me. Everything around me ceases to exist as I make eye contact with the two people in front of me. One small with wavy light brown hair and light blue eyes that I see when I look into the mirror. Then the other...uncontrollable curls,an enchanting smile,eyes that rival the beauty of new beginnings.
"Ma cherie." He said with a smile. I definitely was charmed by a Frenchman. Unexpected nowhere boy from a foreign land. That's what he was to me in life. Now he's just Isaac Lemieux. Everything I wanted but didn't know existed. There are not many words to describe who he is to me now. I find it hard to describe a feeling that is not one of the norms. The overwhelming feeling of being reunited with those that I love caused me to fall to my knees. My tears had no weight.
"Mommy!" I felt a little hand on my shoulder. Oh no. I'm too afraid to get a good look at her. This will be the first time I see her up close. I'm too weak for this. This is the moment that I've been waiting for since I lost her. "Mommy listen! Listen to what daddy teach me." She oo'ed in a deep tone slowly going up the scale to a hey pitched sound. She faltered in some places but it was clear what he was trying to do. I wiped my eyes and turned to look at her. Isobel. My little Isobel. She was so beautiful. I could see a bit of both of us in her. I ran my fingers through her waves.
"Isobel. How do you know who I am?"
She smiled. "Mister Aac and daddy tol me stories. Daddy say you have ellow hair. I want ellow hair."
Isaac came and knelt beside us. "Your mommys hair happens to be one of the things I adore about her."
"Daddy say you keep hand off mom-" Xavier quickly puts a hand over Isobels mouth. What has this fool been saying around my kid. I scowl at him.
"He killed me. What do you expect? We're not going to be all cool just because we're dead." he rolled his eyes and started taking Isobel away. "We'll be somewhere else with my parents and Bane."
As they walked away I looked back at Isaac. Hmm I wonder. I imagined a beach like the one I pictured as I said goodbye to Isaac.The ground turned into sand. The land ahead of us turned into sea.
"We found each other even though the sea tried to split us apart."
Isaac grinned. "Some infinities are bigger than others. This is one that has no dimension."
I looked around at our area. Behind us there are mountains in the distance. Another couple is further down the beach.
"Oh yeah. They are some people I met. They were in the arena before this one. Haven and Chirre from District Six."
"Can I meet them someday?"
He wrapped his arms around me. "Allyn there are no days here. Time doesn't exist. Nothing here begins or ends."
"That's a lie. Right now I feel like I have just found my new beginning. Here with everyone I love. Well not everyone. Nery is still out there fighting like the warrior she is."
I hope she stays strong. She has the chance to stay alive. Nery is someone that the world still needs. She has the power to change people. That believer changed me.
Good things do come out of The Hunger Games. Isaac found me. I found someone I wasn't searching for. Together we are in an infinite plane. No one can take it away from us. I will never be able to mess up the good things. This is our perfect place. Our perfect beginning that will never have an end.
These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends || One Shot
As we walk out of the theater I see Jasmine and Jarel just on the other side of the room. The sound of zooming cameras was like a tiny spark igniting a stick of dynamite with a short fuse.
"Is this what you want?! You pitiful ass people. What kind of mind you have when you want to see us tear each other to shreds. I know the place where I stand is an arena that I've trained for all my life. But this is completely different. You people do things to us to the point where we break! Do you not see that what you are doing is down right wrong? You people and your smiling faces think that you are doing some kind of good. You are pointing the finger at the Districts and their children like they did some despicable evil. I'm so fucking done playing your games! Like I demonstrated in training...you will burn in the false seat you sit in. The day revenge comes to you, you will be so blinded by the haze which makes you think you're untouchable."
i tilt my head back and let two drops fall into my eyed. Relief goes through my eyeballs and the bluriness begins to fade and it's not so bad anymore. I ccan make out objects but not the far away. It's not perfect vision but it's better. I pick up my grappling hooj and sabre and turn towards her. "Did you get isaacs and that gilrs weapon. We could use them?"
"Oh um yeah. I have the staff and Isaacs bow and arrows. Not sure if I want to keep that staff though. She-yeah she killed him with it."
I hooked the bow and quiver of arrows on my shoulder. I grabbed my tshirt bag and ax. The ax was on the floor between us. I don't even know why I took it.
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Death is supposed to be easy. It is a natural thing. She did this! She killed him! II yank my axe out of her skull and bring it down on her body over and over again. She does not deserve peace in death. This-this thing! She ruined him. She took away my Isaac. She wrecked my happiness. I'm done with people taking away everyone I love. First my parents split up. The dad shoots Bane. Then Isaac kills Xavier. Now this girl kills Isaac. I'm glad she's dead. By the time I was done, I had some of her blood on me. It was a satisfying feeling to know that I had avenged the man I have grown to love.
I went over to Isaac. His face...it didn't even look like him. There was nothing else. A few of his signature curls were still there. He's so broken but still so beautiful. In my minds eye he is laying there on the beach. The sun rays wash him in a golden light. I kneel down right by his head and place it in my lap. His brown curls always in the perfect disarray.
"You're so beautiful Isaac." I wind my finger into one of his curls. This is his heaven. Right by the sea. This is my heaven right with him.
The waves lap at my feet.
"Isaac baby. I'm sorry. I wish I could have stopped her before she did this to you. It's only been a few minutes and I miss you so much already. I love you more than I even realized before. You were just some attractive man that I couldn't look away from. I was entranced from that moment. Then the rooftop...that was just right out of a movie. We were sent here to kill each other. Which is why I fully thought that you would try to harm me on that ledge. Instead you just held me. Seems like you've been holding onto me since that moment. My nowhere boy always drifting some place. I never knew that I would be able to trust or even love someone again. Then there was you. With your looks and your personality then that French. I never heard it before you spoke it to me. It was so melodic and beautiful. Someone once defined love as a single word. A wispy thing. A word no bigger or longer than an edge. I found it ironic that my feelings for you began on the edge of a roof."
The waves started reaching for my legs. I needed to hurry before the image faded.
"You were the one thing I did right in years. Then I messed it up with that Mia situation. I hurt you. It was one of the worst feelings knowing that I hurt you Isaac. I didn't mean to at all. Then you came into my room that night and everything was better. Something I can never understand is how you became so important to me so fast. It is something I will treasure forever. I will keep you in my mind and heart for as long as I'm still breathing. You will be the sky and the sun and the air that I breathe. You're everywhere...Then when I join you up in the other plane we can be happy. It will be me,you,and Isobel. Of course Xavier will be around but you can't do anything about that. Give my daughter a kiss for me by the way."
As the waves reached Isaac, the image disappeared. My calmness went with it too. The tears I tried to keep in just came out at full force. I sat there with his head in my lap and cried. It didn't matter that he was dead. All that mattered was that I could hold him one last time.
I love you. I love you. I love you. My nowhere boy now in the place where he can have true happiness. He's safe now.
I placed his head gently back on the ground and stood up. Weapons. We need the weapons. I grab my axe, the girls staff,and Isaacs bow and arrows and axe. I walk out of the tunnel and make my way back to the rest of the theater.
I hear her laugh and cant help but get more curious of what it was. All i knew was that i didnt have a sponsor so this had to be her or some kind of miracle had happen. I held my breath as she read whatever was inside it. I almost jump up of joy when she tells me it's for my eyes and let out a squeal of jow. A miracle had happen, someone wanted me to keep going, either this person was crazy or...no thi sperson was crazy but nevertheless i was grateful. "You're kidding me! Over the next few days? Oh whatever just put some on me." I say with a shrug
The water hitting my eyes sting me but I keep them open while she flushes them out. ”we’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” I say but she is right if my eyes don’t fix themselves like right now we are fucked. I’m fucked. Big time. Being blind in the arena was not a good idea.
A smile forms on my face, and I nod. “Good.“I say and was interrupted by a beeping sound coming towards it and landing in front of me. The blurriness is still there but I can make out a shape of a..parachute? My eyes go from Ally to the little parachute, I was confuse. Bending down I open it slowly and try and see what was inside. I couldn’t read the letters thought. Standing up I held them out to Allyn. “please tell me this is something for my eyes?”I say holding my breath as I wait for her respond.
“For Isaac.” I echoed her and mimic her in wiping my eyes away. I had to be strong, if I had been strong while he had been here I had to be stronger now. It was the only way. I had almost forgotten I couldn’t see properly and bring my eyebrows up for a second before nodding.
“You are right. I can see but only blurriness so I hope the water helps.” I say putting my hands down letting her wash my face. “did-did you kill her?”I whisper.
I can’t even think anymore, suddenly my momentarily blurriness, It doesn’t matter that I am two steps closer to the crown, I doesn’t matter that I’m alive all that matters now is that Isaac is gone.
I had the sudden urge to push Allyn away but instead I drop my sabre I had been holding and hug her back burrying my face into her shoulder crying out the tears I had held back for so long. I hadn’t held those tears back because I had been strong I had held them in because one special person had been there to push them back every time they came to the surface but now that person was gone. I wasn’t crying for me but for him. I had failed.
I continue to shake my head hugging her back tighter. Now the only thing I have left of Isaac is Allyn. He loved her for a reason, she was the reason for his blushing, for his smiles. He had been her light and now she was all I had left. She was what was holding me together right now, I hated to think it but she was the anchor holding me down from becoming what Isaac didn’t want me to become. “don’t be sorry. What is done is done. I just hate that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.” I said pulling back and looking down. “the only thing I’m sure is that he would want us to stick together and try and win for him. So let’s do that.”
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As she begins to speak I now that something is wrong. I may not be able to see properly but I can tell by her voice that there is something wrong. Allyn was strong, she had always been but now as her voice shakes I don’t think I’m ready for what she is about to say. Even before she whispers at me tears are already forming in my eyes.
No. He’s gone. No. No. He can’t be. My only friend. My only companion. My lips part again and the tears begin to flow but I can’t seem to be able to say anything. I open my mouth to let out anything, words, a scream, anything but nothing comes out instead I cry. I had promise myself that I would take him home, and now..his gone. Just like that. He was gone. Out of my reach.
I begin to shake my head rapidly and finally my voice returns to me. “No. No. No. No.” I repeat over and over again. “he can’t be gone. No, no, no. We have to go back for him. He can’t be. His alive. I know it. You made a mistake. His alive. He can’t be, he can’t be. “I whisper my head shaking even faster, I’m in denial. “He can’t be gone!”I shout the tears coming even faster.
I set my ax down and hug her. She has to face it. We have to face it because if we don't then we won't be able to continue on.
"Nery he's gone. Isaac he's gone. He is gone." I start crying again. I saw and held his body yet I don't want to believe that he's gone. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got there too late. He didn't deserve to die. "I hug her tighter. Without Nery I may become something I know not of.
I sat on the ground grabbing my eyes softly rubbing them. They no longer hurt but every time I open my eyes I would see nothing but blurriness, that bitch had gotten me good and I just hope they would chop her to pieces. Grunting I continue to rub my eyes but stop when I heard a cannon being fire. Please let it be Emma’s. Please let it be Emma’s. I prayed as I force my eyes open. I couldn’t be blind, that would be as easy as being dead already. I had to get my eyes fix and quick.
Boom. Another cannon. My lips parted. Please let it be someone else, please let it be someone else. I begged this time. Oh god, I just hoped the Great Spirits could hear me. My breathing came out harder, I hated being stuck here. I couldn’t move, I was too vulnerable. The seconds turn into minutes quickly and my heart beat increased. Maybe someone else had been fighting at the same time as us, I had to think positive. Ally and Isaac could handle themselves.
I began to see a blurry shape coming towards me, when the blurry shape was near me I notice it had blonde hair or so it seem. Slowly standing up I stretched out my hand to feel that person. “Allyn?”I asked breathing heavily and looked around trying to see if any other human shape would catch my eye. But nothing. She was alone. I asked the question I was most afraid of. “Where’s Isaac?”
Just pull it together. You have to help Nery. She is the only part of him that you have left now.
I walked toward her. My hand were trembling. Tears streamed down my face but I dare not make a sound. I have to be strong for her. Her eyes need help. She needs help. I have to help her. I have to do something. When she asks the question, I have to keep from crying out in agony.
"Nery-Nery he- she....Nery there's-" I can't say it. I don't want it to be true but his body is there. His blood stains my clothing from when I held him. "He's gone." I whisper.
I was about to respond to her comment when a loud snore makes me cringe bringing my shoulders to my ears quickly. I had heard Isaac snore plenty of times to recognize his snoring but god damn in the silent arena his volume seem to increased. I let out a laugh nodding. “no problem. Just felt like saying that considering the fact that..”I began but shook my head leaning back resting my head on the wall with another laugh. “if he keeps snoring like that we are going to have half of the tributes on our ass by morning. Let’s get some rest, a new day is ahead of us.” I say slowly closing my eyes half of me wanting to sleep half of me not.
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Stretching out my legs I look away of the distant like if I was lost in some kind of trance.
“take care of that mule. He may be childish, arrogant, cocky, annoying and I could keep going but he also has the biggest, kindest heart I have ever seen. He has gone through a lot and just like almost all of us he has lost so much.”I stumble on my words. “what I am trying to say is that if there is someone he deserves, it’s you. I’m glad he found you.”I say smiling down my legs.
I can't help but blush. Her words are so kind. I'm glad that she thinks highly of me.
"Thank you so much Nery. That is one of the greatest things that have been said to me in my lifetime." Out of no where I hear an awfully loud snore. With wide eyes I turn to Isaac. Holy shit, I knew he snored but not that loud. I look at Nery. "Well I think we should take a note from the mule over there and get some rest. Just without the snoring." I say with a smile.
I finish humming my siren tune when I hear Allyn right beside me, I licked my lips looking at the canteen and then at her. This was not the moment to be humble, I didn’t know if this was going to be my last drink of water or not so I took it and took a drink from it shaking my head at her.
“thanks. I needed that.”I said with a laugh finishing the rest of the water before I could even stop myself. “No, don’t be. I understand, our time together is limited and I know how you to feel and I understand somehow. Don’t worry about me but..”I said bowing my head. “can I ask you for something?”
When she kisses me, I’m too tired, and too in shock to register to it before she had moved and sat down beside Nery. I was glad the two had bonded, become friends. Nery needed someone else in her life like that even if it was only going to be for a few more minutes, hours or days. I lean my head against the chair I was resting on and feel my eyes start to grow heavy.
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