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@marvelstuff-iguess
Hiya! Here's your Daily Reminder to Click for Palestine!

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how have you been?
not great š¤
uuum idk. idk how to explain anything either but yea..just not good. thank you for asking tho I hope youāve been well ^U^
omaigatto long time no see
I went to get my charger anyway
ha my 30 tags finished .. until next time I guessies
.

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you donāt sound psycho at all. It sounds like youāre dealing with a lot, and is worth going to the doctor for as medication can help. Theyāre there to listen, not judge
yeaā¦itās true I guess. Iāll call them tomorrow probably . last time I went to them about antidepressants I was still 17 so they couldnāt prescribe and I forgot what the doctor said but blah blah something wait until youre 18 and get the adhd stuff sorted out blah blah counselling blablabla see if anything changes.. NOTHING CHANGED and if anything it got worse. I used to complain about sixth form a lot but genuinely take me back T-T minus the mental health spikes especially towards the end i think sixth form was the most comfortable Iāve ever been in my educational life and I miss it a lot
have you considered antidepressants? It may help with this feeling or is it external factors causing this?
yea of course Ive considered, and my counsellor recommends for me to go to the gp and ask about it both times Iāve seen him, and probably will again this Thursday if it isnāt Eid. But idk. First off im just tired of trying to explain myself because genuinely when I try and explain ts outloud I feel like I sound like a psycho.
and then with the second question, i donāt even know. Maybe? Maybe not? Maybe a mix? I have just as much of an idea as u probably do which might not be much at all
life is so ass
how have you been?
so ass I genuinely spent nearly 3 weeks feeling absolutely nothing and like I have no use for my life but o well. Got a lot of delayed assignments to fill my time with i guess
have you started medication for ADHD and if so how has the journey been so far?
I havenāt, I have a phone appointment next Thursday regarding it though. So I think I may start soon idk. I also had a counselling intro session with the same ppl from September and they told me the waiting list is 6 months (but I donāt trust waiting lists..they always lie) and in the meantime I should consult the gp about depression and antidepressants.. sigghhh

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aalso. idk what was wrong with me during the winter bru i dont think it was seasonal depression i think stuff was just kinda shi but this week and last week I havenāt been too bad š im hoping it stays like this
teehee im so happy
ALSOOO I need advice by like. Yesterday, for tomorrow.
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Basicslly ive been skipping my study skills/tutor sessions (Theyre compulsory, once a week every Tuesday on the timetable </3) and my tutor emailed to ask why I skipped again last week so I just flat out told her that even tho the content is helpful, I find the layout difficult. Because itās a circle bruhh all 20 ish of us sit in a circle and I hate it sm because itās a whole hour long and thereās nowhere else to look and itās so much eye contact and I HATE ITTT. Anyway I said thr circle layout can be challenging for me as I struggle with eye contact and being asked things on the spot or being made to speak in front of people unprepared and my brain freezes. And that the sessions can seem more mentally overwhelming than supportive. Well it was roughly something like that probably more condensed and professional. But basicslly I hate that we have to sit in a circle at our big age and I have to look at ppl and everyone HAS to speak once and itās so awkward. Like when everyone comes in she asks everyone one at a time how theyāve been and itās so awkward and lowk no one likes it. And then at the end she asks one thing that ppl liked about the session and uuum i got nothing to say bc the sessions are based off homework tasks i havenāt done <//3
anyway I forgot what my point is. Basicslly i dont like thr circle I donāt like that we HAVE to speak, especially on days where I feel really really exhausted or uncomfortable or just dont wwnt to be there, which is most Tuesdays. And then I said I didnāt bring this up earlier because I didnāt think it was necessary but now Iām worried about how itāll affect my attendance (bc I think the dsa stuff lowk relies on attendance)
And then she replied saying that to work around speaking in front of ppl I could come 10 mins late and leave early every session so I donāt have to speak in front of ppl, and then asked if I hsve a better solution and lowk she sent that last Thursday and I forgot to reply because I didnāt know what to say. Because surely walking in late and leaving early in a small closed circle in a classroom is more awkward because ppl are so fkn nosy and all look up and have staring problems <///3 (me too)
And then she emailed to the thread again today and asked me to get back to her and that she hopes to see me at the session tomorrow. Uuuum I donāt wanna go but lowk I havenāt been to the last 5 ppd sessions .. AHEM. But yea I donāt know guys wat do I do š Tuesdays are so ass in general bruh, 2 hours lecture on research methods that I havenāt ever been to since the first week of uni, then 2 hours lab which is just sitting behind a computer doing shit all, and then the tutor session for an hour šš
how do you feel about the possibility of having autism, given that it tends to carry more stigma than ADHD?
ass dude everyone thinks having autism means being retarded . I mean I only told 3 people tbh. šø understood, my mum told me it was stupid at first but I think thats just because she was half asleep because she wasnāt as negative about it after, and I told š§ also. And she thought i was joking when I said the psychiatrist said that and I was like no deadass he did and she said āi dont think you have autism, adhd I understand but youāre not retardedā and I said itās not really the stereotypical aspects and even my report said thereās no signs of retardism but itās stuff like sensory and my behaviours in certain situations and that stuff and she said āgirl thats called being an introvert not autismā and I forgot what else I said but she said itās just called being quiet, doesnāt mean that thereās anything wrong with me. And then I showed the ss where it mentioned autism in the report or after I asked the psychiatrist I forgot and she said āwhat the freak bro, thereās nothing wrong with being a quiet girlā and then I left that on read lowk. But anyway. Yea idk I think Iām not gonna bother with it anyway. I got help with school now for adhd and my uniās disability advisor said i dont really need an autism diagnosis because what am I gonna do with it and lowk she clocked me bc idk. So yea thats just there im gonna forget about it i guess.
iām probably gonna reread this tomorrow and find it cringey as hell and delete it or completely forget about it but Iāve been so flipping tired for the past few weeks imma rant. Also I forgot to start December sorry my dudes but anyway.
itās not that long i think or maybe it is idk

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i realised i yap a lot of nonsensical shi for no reason my bad š Iāll try to tone it down for future posts and stuff hell yea
what symptoms of autism did they notice in you?
from my memory he said most of the things i put down for hyperactive symptoms he would say align more with autistic traits, mostly for the fact that they werenāt constant and would be dependant on the situation. To be honest i didnāt think of it like that i thought it was just because of my family i learnt to force myself not to act in certain ways around family but didnāt have to be like that in front of friends and whatever but apppparently a lot of the things there PLUS that made it seem more like autism. So he diagnosed me with predominantly inattentive adhd with traits of autism and recommended that i get assessed for autism also. Before he brought up autism tho (and he explained why he asked after with autism in the context idk if that makes sense as a sentence tho) he asked about stuff like hyper fixations, impulse spending, sensory issues, social situations, social and other anxieties etc and he said some of those mixed were mixed in because he just wanted to know if he was right in his assumptions before he brought it up to me. ANYWWAYY i just realised the time i need to go to uni <//3 but idk if any of this made sense tho if it didnt u can ask and I'll prolly reply tonight yayayayaaa