martylek

“This kink is problematic when you think about it” ohhhhhh shit ok lemme head on over to the kink store and trade these kinks in for one that make my jackoff fantasies morally superior

I love browsing cover-up tattoo stuff when every once in a while there's someone asking "how do I cover up this unspeakably idiotic thing" and people are like "please do not cover that up, that's fucking amazing." You just have "shrimps is bugs" written on your leg now. That's your legacy.

Have you seen that one weasel tattoo that someone was asking coverup advice for? One of the best tattoos I've seen.

This is Staying In Your Own Lane 101

[internal dialogue] “What the- that guy’s got horns! That’s not normal. Well, not gonna ruin my day.”

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

my stupid thighs hurt from doing squats

Fish stapler Monday

orson welles was 25 when he directed citizen kane. steve jobs didn't start apple until he was 21. bobby fischer didn't become grandmaster until 15. mozart didn't even compose his first symphony until he was 8. you have time.