Marzy Starrzy

So asexuality isn't just not liking or being repulsed by sex. I am an asexual person and I have had sex and done sexual things with a past partner. I identify with a label called Cupiosexuality because, while I don't experience sexual attraction and I wouldn't seek out sexual activities for my own enjoyment, I'm not opposed to participating in those activities with someone I have a deep love for. (Also, a side note because this is a point that needs to be made but I can still find people hot/attractive. I'm Cupiosexual not blind just because I think someone is hot does not immediately mean I want to bang them on the kitchen counter). Another term I would use for this is sex indifferent, and there are many terms like this in the asexual community, such as sex favourable and sex repulsed. It's like eating a meal because your loved one cooked it - you wouldn't pick it for yourself at a restaurant, but it makes your partner happy and it doesn't taste bad. You're there for the closeness with the other person rather than the experience yourself. And that's just a section of the spectrum - some asexual people are completely sex repulsed and would not have sex ever, whereas others would seek it out and even feel varying degrees of sexual attraction to other people. Asexuality does not mean you find your partner disgusting or unattractive, and thats a common stigma that often prevents asexual people from dating. It's not a lack of love, it's just a different way of experiencing relationships.

As for aromantisism, I personally use the label of demiromantic because I tend to only develop romantic feelings for someone when I've formed enough of a connection with them. This means that I'm less likely to say go on a blind date or something spontaneous and would prefer to get to know someone for a few weeks, eventually developing romantic feelings if I feel properly connected. However, much like asexuality, this isn't the only way you can experience aromantisism- some people are completely romance repulsed and would never engage in a romantic relationship, some people don't feel traditional romantic attraction and still get into relationships and some people are just indifferent. Aromantic people don't have to date. We can, and sometimes we do, but not everyone wants to, and thats alright too. The point I'm trying to make here is that everyone experiences these things differently, and just because you know one asexual who is sex repulsed or one aromantic who is in a romantic relationship doesn't mean everyone in that community will act the same way.

Im also a lesbian but that's unrelated (I want a gf to go on cute summer dates with and eat strawberries with don't even the breakup is taking it out of me)

OH YEAH GOOD POINT ACTUALLY you can be asexual/aromantic and fall under other orientations too! For example, I would describe myself as an Asexual Lesbian (I'm less out and proud about being demiromantic, mostly because people don't understand it and would therefore assume that I don't want a romantic relationship when that's not the case at all).