nonulite

jake doesn’t remember exactly when it happened─when you stopped being you and started being everything else. 

he notices it in the little things you do at first. how you laugh before you say a joke. the way you always know when something is wrong without him having to say it. or how your hand fits in his like it was made to. 

and so he keeps it to himself. safe and sound. telling himself it’s better this way, so it could die down and go back to seeing your normally, as his best friend.

well, that is until the alcohol loosens his tongue. 

he’s slouched at the bar with a group of his friends, glass coating his palm with it’s sweat, face flushed pink while your name slips out of his mouth for the fifth time. 

at first, they tease him for it. nudging his shoulder, grinning. “come on, there’s girls all over the world,”

jake immediately shakes his head, his voice firm but with a small pout on his lips. “there’s nobody else for me,” he mutters. “and i don’t want anybody else”

that’s when his phone ends up with someone else, and when you get the call.

the walk home from the bar is quiet, but the silence is absolutely deafening. 

rain drips from your hair onto your clothes, and then onto the door mat when you unlock the door. jake stumbles in behind you, kicking his shoes off, jacket being tossed wherever it lands.

he sways onto your couch, barely able to stand up straight.

you turn away to grab a towel for him. “okay─just sit still, i’ll be right-“

“i love you.”

you stop in your tracks, turning around slowly. 

his hands are braced onto his knees, head tipped down. and when he realizes what he just said, he stutters.

“fuck─” he breathes out “i didn’t mean to just-“

you walk over to him before he can trip over his words any longer, stopping right in front of him, standing in between his legs. so close that his knees are brushing your thighs, so close that he has to look up at you.

when he does, he’s a complete mess.

his eyes are glassy, red rimmed, and filled with unshed tears.

“i’m sorry,” he says immediately, voice slurred and breaking. “i didn’t mean to say it like that. i swear i didn’t! it just came out..”

your heart beats faster than ever. “jake..”

he lifts his hands, settling onto your hips gently, afraid that you’ll disappear. his thumb rubbing small unsteady circles.  

“i’ve been holding onto this for so long.. and now i’m drunk and stupid and ruining everything”

“look at me,” you say softly, but he already is.

tears spill over, tracking down his cheeks as he lets out a shaky laugh. “i’ve thought of this for years, practicing, and this is how it ends up,”

“years?” 

he only nods. leaning forward until his forehead in pressing into your stomach, eyes shut. “i didn’t want to mess our friendship up. you’re the best thing in my life, my best friend. i didn’t want to be an idiot and ruin everything because i want more.”

you feel his breath hitch against you. it feels sickening in the best way possible.

“but i do,” he murmurs. “i want more. i want all of you, forever. i want every boring day and every bad night and every dumb moment.” he lifts his head again, eyes glossy. “i want you,”

your hands brush back through his damp hair, his eyes practically fluttering. 

“you don’t understand, y/n,” he continues. “i notice everything about you. the way you hum when you’re tired, or when you steal my hoodies and pretend you don’t know a thing. how you always wait for me to walk on the inside of the sidewalk.”

he can only laugh weakly. “i’m so in love with you that it’s embarrassing.”

“i tried to want someone else, i really did. but nobody feels like you, nobody ever will.” 

he sniffles, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, clearly frustrated, but not with you. never with you. “i’m sorry for crying. i didn’t want to cry..”

“it’s okay,” you whisper softly.

he shakes his head. “no, it’s─i just love you so much it hurts. and i didn’t want to keep on pretending that i don’t. i can’t go on like this for any longer.” his voice breaking.

he looks up at you once again, eyes raw and vulnerable.

“you don’t have to say it back,” he blurts out quickly. “i mean─i want you to, but you don’t have to. i just needed you to know this” he swallows. “don’t push me away, please.”

his hands slide from your hips, down to your thighs, holding on like you’re keeping him from breaking. 

“i love you” you whisper, voice quiet but sure. “i always have” 

he lets out a shaky breath, shoulders slumping in relief. “god, you don’t know how long i’ve waited to hear that” he murmurs. 

you cup his face with both hands, kissing his tears away. 

the rain keeps on falling outside, but everything inside feels warm, safe, and right.

yearner jake.........

🏷️  @nocturnebite @jungwonbropls, @chrrific @ijustreallylike2read @ijustwannareadstuff20 @manariees @kristynaaah @nikki4lyf @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @wave4hyka @coupsarchive @en-chantedtomeetyou @blndesunoo @orimuraa @iwishyourosesxo @aheewonenthusiast @ckline35 @blvengene @ppeachyttae @dreamortal @mqytcha @lunaryoongie @lottie810 @rikchic

"hi oppa." you say, keeping your voice light.

there's a brief pause on the other end, the kind that tells you he's already clocked something being different.

"where'd you go?" he asks.

its not sharp or accusing. heeseung never sounds like that. instead, his voice carries quiet confusion, like he's standing in the middle of a familiar room and suddenly realized one piece is missing.

you start walking again, glancing around instinctively even though there's nothing unusual in sight. "i stepped out." you reply. "just wanted to take a walk and spend some time outside today."

another pause follows, longer this time.

"you just left." he says slowly, as if he's replaying the last few minutes in his head. "i went to the kitchen and you weren't there."

the image forms effortlessly in your mind—heeseung standing there with a glass in his hand, scanning the room once, then twice, brows drawing together when he realizes you didn't just duck away for a moment. the thought makes something warm twist in your chest.

"yeah." you say softly. "that was kind of the point."

you hear him exhale through his nose at your confession.

"did something happen?" he then asks you.

the question lands gently, but there's weight behind it. heeseung has always been like this, attentive in a way that feels less like watching and more like listening. he doesn't ask unless he's already noticed something.

"no no." you answer quicklyto reassure the eldest. "nothing bad."

"you sure?"

you hum, letting the sound linger as your gaze drifts across the street ahead of you. people pass by without a second glance, wrapped in their own lives. "i promise."

silence stretches once more, not uncomfortable, but thoughtful. you know he's deciding whether to push further or trust your words.

"you don't usually leave without saying anything." he says eventually, quiet but honest.

you slow your steps. "i know."

"so… why today?"

you take a breath, shrugging your shoulders slightly. "i just wanted a day to myself."

when heeseung speaks, there's faint disbelief in his voice, softened by something fond. "by yourself?"

"mhmm."

he lets out a small laugh, under his breath. "since when do you get days like that?"

you smile. "exactly."

another pause, and then his tone shifts, growing more careful. "is it because of us?"

"no." you say quickly, meaning it. "not in a bad way. i love you guys. you know that."

"i know. " he answers without hesitation.

"but it's always loud." you continue, explaining yourself in gentle honesty albeit shyly. "someone's yelling, someone's messing around, someone's bumping into me or stealing my stuff. and i love that most days. i just... wanted one day where no boys are screaming or roughhousing around me. something like a solo date."

you hear heeseung chuckle softly, warmth threading through the sound. "okay, yeah. that's fair."

"despite how much i love you all," you add with a small smile. "i just need a chill day."

he goes quiet again, and you can almost picture him nodding to himself.

"you could've told me." he says at last.

"i know. but if i did, someone would've insisted on coming with me."

"i would've." he says plainly.

you laugh, the sound slipping out before you can stop it. "i figured."

"i can still come." heeseung offers. "we don't have to talk. i'll just walk with you."

the thought lingers for a moment—him beside you, presence steady and familiar, knowing when to fill the silence and when to let it breathe. it's tempting.

but you shake your head slightly, even though he can't see it. "i really appreciate it oppa. but today, i think i just need… me."

the pause this time feels heavier, but not unpleasant. when he speaks again, his voice is calm, accepting.

"okay." he says. "i get it."

relief eases through you.

"just—be careful." he adds immediately. "watch your surroundings. don't block out everything with music. text me when you stop somewhere."

you roll your eyes, smiling. "you sound like a dad."

"someone has to." he replies, amusement clear in his tone. "can't let jay be the only one can i?"

you laugh again. "fair."

"if anything happens." he continues, voice firm now, "you call me. even if you think it's nothing."

"i will."

"and if you get tired—"

"i'll take a taxi."

"or if someone bothers you—"

"i'll leave."

"or if you change your mind—"

you soften. "i'll let you know."

heeseung exhales quietly, like he's finally letting go of a thread he's been holding too tightly. "okay."

for a moment, neither of you moves to hang up. your footsteps and the faint sounds of the dorm fill the line, grounding in their own ways.

"have a good day." he says gently. "you deserve it." the words settle into you, warm and steady.

"thanks." your smile widens. "don't let them destroy the place."

he laughs softly. "no promises."

you end the call and slip your phone into your pocket, the weight of it reassuring instead of intrusive. as you start walking again, the world feels open in a way it hadn't just moments ago—not because you're alone, but because you're understood. cared for enough to be worried about, and trusted enough to be given space.

you put your headphones on, press play, and finally let the day carry you forward.

an hour passes more easily than you expected. by the time you push open the door of the café, the world already feels gentler, like it's agreed to meet you halfway. a small bell chimes overhead, light and welcoming, and warmth wraps around you immediately—the scent of coffee and sugar, soft music playing low enough that it feels like a secret rather than a performance. the place is tucked away from the main road, narrow and cozy, with wooden tables and mismatched chairs, sunlight pooling near the windows like it's been invited to stay awhile.

you choose a corner seat, one with a view of the street outside, and shrug off your purse. your drink arrives soon after, steam curling lazily upwards as feel yourself fully settle. shoulders relaxing, thoughts slowing. this... this is what you needed.

your phone vibrates against the table just as you wrap your hands around the warm cup.

you glance down.

it's a call from sunoo this time.

you smile before you even answer.

"hi." you say softly, lowering your voice instinctively, like you're letting him into the café with you.

"hmm~ where'd our missing member go?" he asks, tone curious but gentle. there's no edge to it, no panic, just that familiar sunoo brightness threaded with concern. "you weren't in your room noona."

you glance around the café again, as if taking mental snapshots. "i'm out." you reply. "found a café."

"a café?" sunoo repeats, interest sparking immediately. "wait, like—cute café or sad beige café?"

you laugh under your breath. "definitely cute."

"okay, rude." he says, half teasing, half mock-offended. "without me?"

you shift in your chair, smiling. "i needed a little alone time."

there's a pause, but instead of the weight you felt earlier, this one feels… understanding.

"honestly," sunoo says, voice softening, "i get that."

you blink, surprised.

"sometimes i love everyone so much it makes my head hurt." he continues lightly as he left out a little groan. "and then i want to escape before i start snapping at people for breathing too loudly."

you laugh genuinly. "exactly."

"i could really use a day like that too." he admits. "just sitting somewhere pretty, pretending i'm mysterious."

you glance out the window with a cheeky smile, watching people pass by. "you'd last fifteen minutes."

"that's generous." he replies cheerfully. "ten, max."

you giggle into your drink, feeling warmth bloom somewhere deeper than the coffee. "... i felt a little bad leaving."

"don't." he says immediately. "seriously. you deserve it. we're… a lot."

"you said it, not me."

he laughs softly. "where is it?"

you look around again, taking it all in so you can describe it properly. "not that far from our dorm actually. it's small. wooden tables, plants everywhere. they have little handwritten signs on the counter. and the music's really quiet—like it doesn't want to interrupt your thoughts."

sunoo hums appreciatively. "sounds nice."

you look around the café, seeing a group of friends sitting together in another corner laughing and giggling together, and suddenly your missing your boys a little. "next time, i'll bring you."

"promise?" he asks, teasing but hopeful.

"promise."

he sounds pleased. "what are you drinking noona?"

"i got their hot chocolate." you answer. "it tastes like heaven and comfort."

"of course it does." he says. "that's your whole brand."

you laugh again, leaning back in your chair. "heeseung oppa already gave me the safety lecture, by the way."

"good." sunoo says without missing a beat. "but i'm still going to ask—you okay? is anyone bothering you?"

"no." you reassure him. "everyone's been nice."

"good." he replies. "but if someone does try something, remember what i taught you."

you grin. "from your sassing lessons?"

"exactly." he says proudly. "maintain eye contact. deliver one devastating comment. leave."

"what if i panic?"

"then just think of me judging them silently." he says. "that should give you strength."

you shake your head, smiling. "i don’t know how you’re like this."

"it's a gift." he replies easily. "text me a picture of the café later, okay?"

"i will."

"and don't rush." sunoo adds gently. "stay out as long as you want."

the words settle softly over you, like a blanket.

"thanks, sunoo." you say. "really."

"anytime." he replies. "enjoy your escape. we’ll still be loud when you come back."

you end the call with a small smile lingering on your lips. the café feels warmer somehow, the space a little more filled—not crowded, just… shared, in a quiet way.

you lift your cup again, watching the steam from your hot chocolate curl upward, and let yourself stay.

you end the call with a small smile still lingering on your lips, the warmth of it staying even after the screen goes dark. the café feels a little fuller somehow—not louder, not crowded, just gently occupied by the thought of home settling in your chest.

your muffin sits untouched beside your cup, so you finally reach for it, breaking off a piece and letting yourself eat slowly. crumbs dust your fingertips as you sip your drink between bites, the warmth of it spreading through you in a way that feels deeper than physical. outside the window, the street continues on at its unbothered pace, people passing by unaware of the quiet moment you’re having with yourself.

your thoughts drift back to the dorm without you meaning them to.

you picture the members scattered through the space you just left—someone sprawled across the couch, someone else pacing with headphones on, voices overlapping, laughter echoing down the hallway. being the only girl among them has always meant never really being left alone. not if they could help it. concern comes easily to them, protection even more so, woven into everything from casual check-ins to the way they instinctively notice when you’re missing.

from the eldest down to the youngest, it doesn't matter who it is—each of them carries that same quiet sense of responsibility toward you, expressed in their own ways. sometimes it's suffocating, sometimes it's overwhelming, but more often than not, it feels like something rare and precious.

you take another sip, smiling faintly to yourself. you're not trapped, you're not smothered.

you're cared for.

and as much as you need days like this—days of silence, warmth, and space—you're honored, truly, to be someone they look out for so fiercely.

you finish your muffin slowly, letting the moment stretch, knowing that when you return, the noise will be waiting.

and so will they.

you leave the café feeling lighter than when you arrived.

the warmth from the drink still lingers in your chest as you step back outside, the bell chiming softly behind you as the door closes. the air feels different now, brighter, or maybe it's just you. your hands are warm, your thoughts a little slower, your steps unhurried as you walk with no real destination in mind. the day is still yours, wide open, and you intend to keep it that way.

that's when you see them.

the park sits just a short walk away, tucked behind a row of trees, and from the edge of the path you catch sight of a small pond glinting under the sunlight. movement draws your attention. soft ripples, flashes of white and brown, and then you smile.

ducks.

they paddle lazily across the water, some clustered together, others drifting on their own, entirely unbothered by the world beyond the pond. something in your chest lifts at the sight of them, simple and unexpected, and the excitement bubbles up before you can stop it.

you detour immediately, ducking into a nearby convenience store and grabbing a small bag of bread, fingers already itching with anticipation. by the time you head back toward the park, you're smiling to yourself, clutching the bag like a small treasure.

you don't notice the voices at first.

they drift in from behind you, too loud and unfamiliar, cutting into the quiet you'd been holding onto your morning so far. it sounded like a group of university boys.

"hey pretty."

your steps falter.

another voice follows, laughter thick and unpleasant. "don't walk so fast. we're talking to you."

your shoulders tense as your body reacts before your mind fully does. you keep walking, eyes fixed ahead, pretending not to hear them even as your chest tightens.

"why you ignoring us?" one of them calls. "too good to answer?"

you swallow, grip tightening around the bag of bread. "no." you say, firm but quiet, not turning around. "leave me alone."

they don't.

their words keep coming, layered and relentless. comments about your looks, your body, the way you walk. mocking when you don't respond. laughing when you clearly want them to stop. nothing you can point to and say this is illegal, nothing dramatic enough to scream about, but enough to make your skin crawl, enough to make your pulse spike and your joy drain away piece by piece.

it feels invasive in a way that sinks deep, like they've reached into your day and smeared their fingerprints all over it.

you walk faster, heart pounding, every step heavier than the last. even when their voices finally fade, swallowed by distance, the tension doesn't leave you right away. it clings. it lingers in your shoulders, your stomach, your thoughts.

by the time you reach the pond, the excitement you felt earlier has dimmed noticeably.

you sit on a bench near the water, tearing the bread into small pieces with deliberate care, focusing too hard on the motion. the ducks waddle closer almost immediately, quacking softly, their presence uncomplicated and earnest. you toss a few pieces into the water, watching them scatter, and try to breathe normally again.

this is your day. you remind yourself. don't let this ruin it.

but the reminder feels thinner than it should.

you smile at the ducks anyway, even though it doesn't fully reach your eyes. you tell yourself you're okay. that nothing really happened. that you handled it. still, a dull ache sits in your chest, the aftertaste of something sour that won't quite go away.

your phone rings just then and you glance down.

jake's contact fills your screen, the picture of him smiling with his teeth staring back at you.

your chest tightens unexpectedly.

you answer before you can overthink it. "hey."

"hey y/n." he says easily. "heeseung hyung mentioned you went out on a solo date today and i just wanted to check in. how's it going?"

you stare out at the pond, watching a duck shake water from its feathers. "it's good." you say, trying to sound casual. "really nice, actually."

you heard him hum on his end. "having fun?"

you nod to yourself even though he can't see it. "yeah."

your voice dips at the end despite your effort. thinner, more tired than you intended.

"…you sound kind of off." he says.

you tear another piece of bread, smaller than the last. "just walked a lot."

"mm." jake hums, unconvinced. "where are you right now?"

"at a park." you reply. "feeding ducks."

"ducks?" his tone brightens instinctively. "okay, that actually sounds adorable."

you smile faintly. "it is. mostly."

A pause settles between you.

"hey." jake says quietly. "did something happen?"

you hesitate, eyes fixed on the ripples in the water.

the ducks quack again, impatient, nudging closer. you toss them more bread, watching the ripples distort their reflections.

"...some guys earlier." you admit finally, but the words feel thin. you sigh before you can stop yourself, the sound slipping out of you. "they wouldn't leave me alone."

the silence that follows is immediate and sharp.

"what." jake says, voice dropping as if he wasn't sure he heard you correctly.

"it was just verbal." you rush to clarify. "nothing physical. i said no and walked away. i'm okay."

"where are you?" he asks sounding tense.

"jake—"

"i'm coming. send me your location."

your heart stutters. "what? no—jake, don't."

"why not?" there's an edge to his voice now, barely restrained.

"because i don't want this to turn into something bigger." you say quickly. "i handled it. i'm not going to let what happened ruin today for me."

jake's breath comes out tight. "you shouldn't have had to handle it at all."

another beat. you can practically hear him weighing his options, concern wrestling with trust.

"i don't like this." he mutters.

you soften your voice. “i know. but i'm okay. really."

to distract him—and maybe yourself—you glance at the ducks again. one waddles closer than the others, head cocked, eyes bright.

"there's one duck here that's kinda like you." you add suddenly.

"…what?"

you huff a weak laugh. "same energy. keeps bumping into the others and acting like it didn't."

he lets out a short, disbelieving laugh despite himself. "that's so rude."

"he's even got the same confused and bright look." you continue. "like he's just happy to be here."

you hear his breathing ease slightly on the other end.

"…okay." he concedes. "that does sound like me."

"see?" you murmur. "i'm fine. just feeding ducks."

another pause.

"okay." jake says at last. "i won't come. but listen to me."

you straighten unconsciously. "yes?"

"if anyone bothers you again, you call me." he says firmly. "immediately. i don't care about what i'll be doing in the moment."

"i will."

"i mean it." he adds seriously. "don't downplay anything."

your throat tightens. "i promise."

"stay around people." he continues. "don't walk anywhere isolated."

"i won't."

his tone softens just a little. "i’m proud of you for speaking and sticking up for yourself. don't let idiots think they can mess with you."

something warm presses behind your eyes as your grip on the phone tightens. "thanks."

"send me a picture of the ducks." he adds. "especially the one that's apparently me."

you smile, real this time. "i will."

you hang up, pocketing your phone and turning your attention back to the pond. the ducks crowd closer, greedy and unbothered, and you laugh quietly, tossing the last of the bread into the water.

the weight from earlier hasn't disappeared, but it doesn't own you either. you sit there a while longer, watching the ripples spread and fade, letting the steady presence of life around you pull you back into the moment.

by the time the ducks have had their fill, the bag of bread empty and your fingers dusted with crumbs, you feel a little steadier than you did before. the water ripples lazily, feathers settling, the world easing back into its rhythm. you stand from the bench and stretch, brushing your hands together as you glance around the park one last time before moving on.

your stomach reminds you that ice cream exists.

the stand is just a short walk away, a small, cheerful thing with a faded menu board and a line of people clustered near the cart. you join them easily, ordering your favorite without hesitation. when the man finally hands you a cone off your choice and you smile to yourself, feeling like the day is slowly stitching itself back together.

your phone rings for the forth time and you let out a soft sigh, almost fond this time as you glance down.

sunghoon.

you barely have time to lift the phone to your ear before his voice cuts in, sharp and unyielding.

"come home. now."

you freeze mid-step, nearly stumbling as your body reacts before your brain does. "what—?"

"i'm not joking." he continues, voice firm and barely restrained. "get your ass back to the dorm right now."

you stare at the pavement, ice cream melting slowly down the cone. "sunghoon, what are you talking about?"

"don't." he snaps. "don't play dumb y/n."

"hey—" you try to interrupt, but he barrels right over you.

"i don't want to hear it. just tell me where you are and come home."

your confusion turns into a groan of realization. "oh my god." you mutter. "jake told you, didn't he?"

he doesn't deny it. "you think i'm just gonna sit here knowing some guys were running their mouths at you and do nothing?"

you let out a groan. "sunghoon, i'm fine! i handled it. they were just being assholes. nothing happened!"

"what did they say."

the way he cuts in makes you stop walking again.

"…what?"

"tell me exactly what they said to you."

your face twists uncomfortably. "sunghoon, it's not—"

"tell me." he repeats, voice darkening. "word for word."

you hesitate, heart sinking. you hadn't planned on reliving it. hadn't wanted to give it more weight than it already took from you. but his silence on the other end is expectant, coiled.

"…asked why i was alone." you admit finally, quieter now. "wouldn't stop talking..."

the line goes very still.

"…anything else." he asks, dangerously calm.

you swallow. "…they commented on my body. said stuff when i didn't answer. laughed when i told them no..."

there's a sharp breath through his teeth. "i swear to god,” sunghoon mutters, more to himself than you. "if i ever see those guys—"

"sunghoon."

"i will punch the living shit out of them." he snaps, anger flaring fully now. "who the FUCK do they think they are? don't those small dicked idiots have mothers or sisters?? they don't get to make you uncomfortable and walk away like it's nothing."

"sunghoon. please calm down."

his breathing is audible now, uneven, furious. "this is exactly why i want you home. because i'm not gonna sit here knowing that happened and do nothing about it."

"i'm not a child." you argue, walking again, careful not to drop your ice cream. "i said no. i left. i'm safe."

"that doesn't make it okay." he fires back. "and i don't care how tough you are, i'm not gonna risk it happening again."

"but they might not even show up again! and this happened like at least an hour ago!"

"no." he says flatly. "either you come home, or i'm coming to you. tell me where you are."

you stop dead. "you're being dramatic."

"i don't want to hear it." sunghoon's voice rises just a touch. "i'm not letting this go. not when someone tried to mess with you."

the intensity of it hits you then—not control, not anger aimed at you, but something raw and fiercely protective. it takes you off guard enough that a soft, incredulous laugh slips out.

"why are you laughing?" he demands.

"because." you say gently, "my ice cream is literally melting, and you're threatening bodily harm over the phone."

"i'm serious y/n. come home."

"no." you say again, calmer this time. "i'm not coming back yet."

silence crackles between you.

you soften. "you're really upset about this, huh?"

"obviously i'm upset." he snaps. "no one messes with our girl like that."

the words hit harder than anything else he's said.

our girl.

your chest warms, something tender blooming where the earlier tension sat. you open your mouth to respond when suddenly—voices. overlapping and familiar.

"sunghoon—"

"give it here—"

"hyung you're going a bit overboard—"

and then the line goes dead.

you lower the phone slowly, staring at the dark screen in confusion before snorting softly to yourself. shaking your head, you shrug and continue walking, licking your ice cream as it drips down your fingers.

ten minutes pass and your phone rings again.

you answer, already smiling. "yes?"

"…don't say anything." sunghoon mutters immediately.

you bite back a laugh.

"jake and sunoo talked to me." he continues, begrudging and stiff. "apparently i'm being… too intense."

"maybe just a tad bit." you tease.

he sighs, long and resigned. “they said to let you have your day. since that's what you wanted."

you giggle softly. "thank you."

"but i still don't like it." he adds.

"i know." you say gently. "but it means a lot. really."

there's a pause, then his voice firms just a teeny bit again. "be home by eight."

"eight?" you repeat. "sunghoon—"

"no ifs or—"

"ten." another voice cuts in faintly from his end.

heeseung.

sunghoon scoffs. "fine. ten. but that's final."

you sigh dramatically, smiling despite yourself. "fineee. pinky promise i'll be back by ten."

he hums, begrudgingly but somehwat satisfied. "good."

"and… thank you." you add quietly. "for worrying."

"don't make it weird." he mutters, but the edge is gone now. "just… don't give us reasons to panic."

you smile. "i'll try."

the call ends, and you tuck your phone away, finishing the last of your ice cream as you walk. the day stretches ahead of you. still yours and still intact, gently guarded by voices waiting at home.

and you don't mind that at all.

the store smells faintly like fabric softener and something sweet you can't quite place.

it’s small, tucked between a bookstore and a florist, with warm lighting and wooden racks that soften everything they touch. knitted sweaters hang neatly along the walls, textures inviting, colors gentle. you trail your fingers over sleeves as you walk, letting your pace slow again after the intensity of the last call.

you stop in front of two sweaters. one is cream-colored with small embroidered strawberries scattered across the front, bright and playful. the other is a soft pastel blue, dotted with white daisies that feel calm and familiar, like something you'd wear on a quiet afternoon with nowhere to be.

you lift one, then the other, holding them up to the mirror, tilting your head back and forth.

this is harder than it should be, you think to yourself, just as the familiar tune of your ringtone plays out again.

you don't even look at the screen—you already know. you huff as a grin curves onto your lips as you answer. "you know," you say lightly, "this is not what people mean when they say a relaxing day."

a low chuckle comes through the line. "then you should probably brace yourself," jay replies. "because there are definitely more calls coming."

you laugh softly, leaning your shoulder against the rack. "i figured."

for a moment, neither of you rushes to speak. there's a comfortable quiet instead, filled with faint sounds from his end—movement, maybe the clink of something being set down. it feels easy. steady.

eventually, you flip the script. "so," you say, adjusting the sweaters on your arm. "what are you up to?"

"me?" jay hums. "cleaning up the kitchen."

that alone makes you chuckle. "of course you are."

"someone has to." he replies with a groan. "the others are… being themselves." you can hear the care tucked beneath his words.

"you should've seen the commotion earlier." he adds. "sunghoon was pacing like a caged tiger."

you sigh quietly. "yeah… i noticed."

there's a small pause, then jay's voice lowers, careful and measured. "hey. don't be too upset about how he reacted earlier, ok?"

you blink, fingers stilling on the knit fabric.

"i know he was intense." jay continues gently. "and dramatic... and a little over the top demanding you to come home." a small smile tugs at your lips despite yourself.

"but honestly?" he goes on. "we all reacted the same way when we heard. sunghoon was just… more loud and vocal about it."

you listen, letting his words settle. "try to see it from our side." he says softhly, like he doesn't want you to be upset at them. "hearing that some people talk to you like that, treat you in a way none of us ever would? it messes with us. bad."

your chest tightens just a little.

"it's not about thinking you can't handle yourself," jay continues. "we know you can. it's just… the idea that anyone would make you uncomfortable like that... that's what got to us."

you exhale slowly, the tension you hadn't realized you were holding easing out of your shoulders. "yeah." you say quietly. "i understand."

"sunghoon just doesn't know how to sit with that kind of anger, he goes straight into protect mode. he cares." jay finishes simply.

you nod, even though he can't see it. "i know. i wasn't really mad. just… surprised at that moment i knew he meant well."

"that's fair."

there's another pause—lighter this time.

"for what it's worth," jay speaks up, "i was kind of on his side at first. i would've preferred if you came home."

you glance down at the sweaters in your hands, listening.

"but," he adds, "i also know you're not fragile. you're tough. you stand your ground. and you've never hesitated to call any of us when it actually matters."

your grip tightens slightly around the knit fabric.

"we've all been working hard for this comeback," jay says, voice steady. "you included. so yeah… you deserve time to breathe. without us hovering over you like you're going to disappear."

a warm smile spreads across your face. "thank you."

"don't get used to it. we still hover." that makes you laugh.

"speaking of," he adds, "our brave girl deserves her favorite dinner tonight. tell me what you want."

you blink, caught off guard. "you don’t have to—"

"I want to." he cuts in easily. "so?"

you hesitate, suddenly shy. "…your curry."

his voice is warm when he replies. "good choice... what are you doing right now?" he asks.

you lift both sweaters again, glancing at your reflection. "i'm at a clothing store. i found two cute knitted sweaters and i can't decide."

"send me a picture." jay says immediately.

you do, snapping a quick photo and sending it over and a few seconds pass.

"the daisy one." he says decisively.

you tilt your head, looking down at the sweater he chose. "yeah?"

"mmm. looks simple and soft, and i bet it'll be really pretty on you."

you look at it again, seeing it differently now. after a moment, you smile. "okay. i'll get that one." you head to the counter, sweater folded neatly over your arm. "thanks for helping me decide."

"anytime." jay replies. "go enjoy the rest of your day."

"i will." you promise.

the call ends, and as you step back outside, shopping bag swinging lightly at your side, you feel it again—that quiet reassurance in the air that makes the space around you feel safe.

the sun is already dipping low by the time you find yourself wandering again, the sky painted in soft gradients of pink and gold. the air has changed—cooler now, brushing gently against your skin, slipping through the sleeves of your jacket until you instinctively wrap it tighter around yourself. it feels like evening in the way that makes everything quieter, slower, more reflective.

you stop beneath a row of cherry blossom trees, their branches heavy with blooms, petals catching the light as they sway. a few drift down lazily, brushing past your shoulders, settling briefly in your hair before falling to the pavement. you stand there longer than you mean to, just breathing it in.

it's been a good day. a really good one (if you ignore the small bad parts).

you think about the café, the ducks, the sweater folded neatly in your bag. about laughter breaking through moments of tension, about voices on the other end of your phone that never quite let you feel alone even when you chose to be. as you start walking again, you decide you'll stop by the convenience store before heading home. snacks would be a nice surprise. something sweet, something salty. something for everyone.

your phone vibrates a few times in your pocket. you pull it out, already smiling when you see the name.

nikimeowra ৎ୭ noona i learned a new wwe move and im gonna try it on you as soon as u come back home

you stare at it for a second, pinching the bridge of your nose. "of course you did." you murmur, locking your phone and slipping it back into your pocket without replying.

it vibrates again.

and again.

and again.

with a groan, you fish it back out.

nikimeowra ৎ୭ i know u can see my messages what's taking you so long to come back reply coward

you snort, shaking your head. you're about to lock the screen again when your phone starts ringing.

you answer without hesitation. "no."

and then you hang up.

the laugh bursts out of you before you can stop it, loud and utterly unrestrained. you're still giggling when your phone rings again.

this time, you answer, laughter still spilling over. "yes~?"

"WOW." niki's voice booms through the speaker. "okay noona. okay. now you're getting double slammed boxing styler for real for real when i see you take one step into the dorm."

you wipe at your eyes, still laughing. "fine, then i just won't come home."

there's a beat of silence.

"…please don't." he says quickly. "i saw how sunghoon was earlier. he'll actually kill me."

you roll your eyes, affection curling warmly in your chest. "what do you want, riki."

you hear a dull thud on the other end. then another. rhythmic and heavy.

"i'm bored." he admits, punching the boxing bean bag again. "you aren't here for me to bother."

"oh, poor you." you tease, turning toward the convenience store. "utterly tragic."

"you're fun to mess with." he continues, unfazed. "you just let me. the hyungs yell."

you scoff. "i tell you to stop."

"yeah," he replies easily. "but you never mean it."

you laugh softly. "aww. you miss me that bad?"

"what? no." he denies immediately. "it's not like that."

you grin. "mhmm. sureee."

there's a brief huff on the other end. you know that sound. you know him too well.

"i miss you too." you say with a grin. "my adorablest maknae in the whole wide world~"

"i'm a grown man." niki protests.

"nahhh. you're my baby foreverrr."

"ugh." he mutters, clearly pretending to hate it. but he doesn't argue again.

you push open the door to the convenience store, the familiar chime greeting you as cool air washes over your face. "i'm buying snacks for everyone." you tell him. "want anything specific?"

he's quick to answer what he wants.

"okie." you move down the aisles, picking up snacks you recognize easily, favorites you've memorized over time without even trying.

another loud punch echoes through the phone.

"wow, you're really going at that thing huh?"

"yeah." niki replies casually. "i'm picturing the asses who bothered you."

you almost drop the bag of chips you plucked off of the shelf in front of you.

"what?"

there's a click of his tongue. "tch. yeah... not gonna lie, i was pissed too. it's literally my job to bother you. anyone else trying that can go fuck off."

you stand there for a moment, phone pressed to your ear, surrounded by shelves of snacks and humming refrigerators, heart suddenly too full.

"niki..." you say softly.

he yawns loudly, interrupting you. "be home soon."

and then the line goes dead.

you lower your phone slowly, staring at the screen in stunned silence before bursting into giggles, shoulders shaking. "that's so him."

you finish gathering the snacks, a lightness in your step when you head for the counter. outside, the sky has darkened just a little more, lights flickering on one by one.

you step back onto the street, bag rustling softly in your hand.

you really are loved by your boys. and tonight, you'll bring that love home with you.

by the time your phone reads 9:52 pm, the sky has fully settled into night.

streetlights glow softly, casting long shadows across the pavement as you slow your steps just enough to check your messages. right on cue—almost comically so—there's one from sunghoon.

hoonie ❄︎ 10pm

you huff out a quiet laugh mixed with a scoff, thumbs hovering over the screen before as if summoned by contrast, another notification slides in seconds later.

bambhee oppa ❀ ignore him. take your time.

you smile to yourself, warmth blooming easily in your chest as you slip your phone back into your pocket. you're already heading home anyway, turning onto streets that feel familiar in a way that goes beyond routine. there's a lightness in your step now—almost a skip—surprising you with how much you're looking forward to walking through the dorm doors again.

you needed today. desperately. but you missed your boys too.

your phone rings, and something in you already knows. you pull it out, grin widening when you see the name. "leaderrrrr." you sing softly as you answer.

jungwon laughs, the sound bright and fond. "are you on your way back anytime soon noona?"

"yeah, i'm like five minutes away. walking as we speak."

"good." he says, relief slipping into his tone before he clears his throat. "also, sorry about the others. i know that's probably not ideal for someone wanting a day to themselves."

you shake your head gently as you walk. "it's okay. honestly, i'd probably be the same if i were in your shoes and there were people bothering any of you."

he hums, thoughtful. there's a brief pause, then— "do you mind if i stay on the phone with you until you get here?"

"sure. everything ok?"

"the street near the dorms been weird lately." he says carefully. "just reports of a few trouble makers. i'll come down and wait outside for you just in case."

your heart softens instantly. "you don't have to—" you start.

"not up for debate." he says gently, firmly in that quiet leader way of his.

you smile, hurrying your steps a little. "okay... thank you."

as you walk, he fills the space easily. "so," he says and you can hear him shuffling on his end. "how did today feel?"

you think about it for a moment, the question settling. "it felt really good." you admit. "a lot of the places i went were new. but… every location kind of reminded me of you guys."

"yeah?"

"yeah... and sometimes i'd catch myself wishing i had you all with me. even though today was just for me."

jungwon laughs quietly. "see? enhypen's connected in spirit. even when we're not together." you smile at that.

then his voice shifts as it steadies. "i'm sorry a part of your day wasn't ideal. i wish your future solo dates will be kinder to you." a pause. "but i'm really glad you still had a nice day."

"me too." you hum.

the dorm building begins to come into view. and just as he promised, there he was, standing near the entrance with his jacket zipped up and phone to his ear.

jungwon spots you at the same time you spot him, both of you breaking into wide smiles.

you hang up as you jog the last few steps toward him, bumping your head lightly against his shoulder the moment you reach him. "hi~"

"welcome back." he says just as happily, taking the plastic bag from your hand with ease and ruffling your hair affectionately. "goofy. let's get you upstairs."

you laugh, nudging him as you head inside together, the door closing behind you on a day that was yours and the home that's always waiting.

jungwon steps inside after you, slipping out of his shoes and the dorm greets you the way it always does, warm and loud in a comfortable way, alive with voices overlapping and movement everywhere. everyone's together, scattered between the living room and kitchen like they gravitated there without even thinking about it.

the first thing that hits you is the smell. you make a beeline for the kitchen, following it instinctively, and there's jay at the stove, sleeves rolled up, focused as he gives the curry one last stir.

you walk up behind him and tug lightly at the hem of his shirt, peeking around his side. "it smells really good." you say.

jay glances down at you, just as happy to see you. "welcome home." he replies, pulling you into a quick side hug. "dinner's done."

you lingered next to him a bit longer before padding towards the living room. jungwon is already there, passing the plastic bag of snacks around as the others crowd closer.

"those are for after dinner guys."

groans erupt immediately.

"so cruel!" jake cries.

"welcome back." sunoo says brightly, patting the space beside him.

"we survived without you." heeseung adds dryly, earning himself a chorus of protests.

you grin at all of them. "barely, i'm sure."

as you start telling them about your day—about the café, the ducks, the sweater—you don't even notice sunghoon leaning closer until he reaches out and pinches your nose gently.

"from now on." he says, half joking, half dead serious, "i'm chaining you to the dorm and putting a tracking device on your phone."

you groan loudly but laugh. "please don't."

from across the room, you feel it before you see it.

niki's watching you with that look, the one that always means trouble.

"don't!" you start immediately, protests spilling out before he even moves.

too late. he's on his feet in seconds, darting forward and scooping you up effortlessly. "you had this coming!"

"NIKI—"

he slams you gently but dramatically onto the sofa, the impact knocking an oof out of you as you land sprawled across sunoo's lap who laughs, immediately carding his fingers through your hair like this is exactly where you belong.

"comfortable?" sunoo snorts.

"i'm never coming back next time." you groan, face pressed into a cushion.

sunghoon pinches your hip gently. "oi."

laughter erupts around you.

"she missed us." jake says smugly.

"who wouldn't." heeseung beams as he pats the back of your head as you sigh.

jay calls from the kitchen that dinner's getting cold, which finally gets you all moving. you sit up, fixing your hair, surrounded by hands tugging you back down and nudging you forward at the same time.

you enjoyed your day out alone, but nothing really beats being together and surrounded by your boys. even if they do always demand your attention and presence. it was their intentions that mattered, and enhypen definately had the best and rightest ones when it came to you.

author's note: hope you all liked it!! was really looking forward to releasing this one :3

reblog, like and comment if you liked this!

-twocups

☆⌒(>。<)

a/n: double update bc i wanted the continuation of one of ari’s friend group ^^

tag list: @enhagvrl @lilifiedeans

I groan, slumping in my seat as we continued watching a horror movie as we ate our dinner. We concluded our Weverse live stream waiting for our food to get delivered forty minutes ago. It was past midnight, our movie closing in to an end, our food halfway finished as we talked in our living room.

“Our maknae is going away,” Jaemi jokes, wiping a fake tear. “We finally have peace at the dorms.”

I rolled my eyes at her as the members laughed along. Our manager chuckling as she watches us banter. “I can never catch a break from you guys.”

“We will though,” Hyejin retorts, finishing up her ramen as she focused on the television screen.

“Come on, you don’t think you’ll miss me?” I said, looking at my members face with my puppy eyes, well I tried.

“Nope,” they all said in unison, laughing their butts off with my misery. Yui spares me a glance as she stops laughing, giving me a reassuring pat on my shoulder. Ahh, I don’t think I’m ready to be sent away from my own safe space, especially going away from my dog Yuki. She is a four-year-old female Samoyed. I took her in when I figured I needed a companion that’s different from family members and friends, someone with who I can share my concerns and happiness with ease even if I don’t get a proper response. I’m happy to have Yuki by my side. She’s kept me sane these past years even during hard times.

“I’m so not missing you guys,” I pout, petting my dog’s head resting on my lap. “I will miss my baby Yuki though.”

“Is it not possible to take her with you?” Hyejin asks, gesturing to Yuki who is calmly sleeping throughout our bickering.

“I’m not too sure.. I think I have to ask the director.” I reply, “If I can’t take her with me, I’ll leave her with my parents for now.”

“That’s good. I’m sure she misses her grandparents more than you.” Jaemi jokes, ruffling my hair in the process.

I huffed, slapping her hand in the process, “Oh whatever. Let’s just focus on the movie ending.”

“Let’s hope our maknae ends up with a nice guy,” Lihua says, trying to enlighten the mood. “Maybe once the show is over, you’ll actually be in a relationship with him.”

“Hmm, who knows.. If he ever tries to play with your feelings, you have us as your protectors.” Jaemi said gesturing to shadow box the air.

“If he ever thinks about messing with one of us,” Yui clicks her tongue, shaking her head. “He’s got a bad rep with all of us.”

“Did any of your friends mention being on the show recently?” Hyejin asks me, taking a bite of the fried chicken in her hand.

“Not that I know of,” I sigh, trying to remember our past conversations in the group chats. “Even if they did, they’d probably kept it as a surprise.”

***

[HYBE Building]

“By any chance, do you know who will be my partner?” I ask Yui as we walked down the hallways to one of the meeting rooms.

“I’m not informed yet,” Yui chuckles, “Are you anxious to meet your partner of a few months?”

“I need to know if he’s a person I’m aquatinted with,” I say, “It’d be great to have a good person.”

“Hopefully they’re a good guy and not some creep,” Yui shakes her head, “You know what to do if they make you uncomfortable right?”

“Of course I do.” We looked at each other briefly before turning into the corner. I follow Yui behind as we both stop in front of a door with a sign beside it “Conference Rm 1”. She knocks on it before opening and peaks her head in.

“Hello Director,” Yui greets with a smile, “I have your star of the show.”

“Welcome, thank you for coming in today,” the director smiles, standing up from her seat to greet us. I smile, taking her hand with a firm shake as I bow. “Please take a seat. It’s so great to finally meet you.”

Within thirty minutes of discussion, the director gave me the contract to look over the terms and conditions for the show. I scanned through the form, briefly going over them and signed my name.

The director informed me my partner would stay anonymous until our first encounter the day of shooting. She hasn’t given me any hints as much as I asked her throughout our conversation. I’m assuming she wants our reaction to be genuine along with the audiences and hosts.

Starting the next two weeks I’ll be leaving the dorms for three months for the show, luckily I’m able to attend the work schedules, accomodating to the time. Unfortunately, I’ll be separated from Yuki as I’m unable to bring her with me for the show, although they allowed Yuki to make a brief appearance for one of the episodes.

Saying our final goodbyes with each other, we continued our day to the schedule, meaning the girls and I would be getting ready for our last day promotions at Music Bank.

a/n: lowkey going at a slow pace but at the same time felt like it was rushed.. ermm hope you enjoy tho :3 istg the first few chapters are slow... pls bear with me huhu.

taglist: @enhagvrl @lilifiedeans