ladykiller

Adam: *plops down in bed*

Behati: *in bed, already sleeping, with a sleep mask covering her eyes* Hey.

Adam: Heyyy.

Behati: How was it?

Adam: It was weird.

Behati: Yeah?

Adam: Yeah. Somebody slipped something in my drink. I think it was acid, because I started tripping balls. Future turned into a teddy bear...James was getting fucked by a chicken...

Behati: *not really paying attention* Hmm.

Adam: It was crazy. Then I got arrested when the cops came. But they really weren’t the cops. It was like this adorable little cartoon stripper and she gave me like a adorable little cartoon stripper lap dance.

Behati: *still not really paying attention* Hmm.

Adam: That was weird. And then these two girls, they pulled me into a room for a threesome...

Behati: *takes off her sleep mask, turns and looks at Adam*

Adam: But nothing happened. Nothing happened.

Behati: *puts her sleep mask back on, turns back over to go back to sleep*

Adam: One had the head of a donkey and the other one had the head of like a skull I guess, like a gemsbok or a deer or an antelope or some shit. I really don't remember. And then like this body builder lady, she was wearing Uggs... She threw me into the pool and I kinda just snapped out of it and left the car there because I was way to fucked up to drive. So I just came home. And here I am?

Behati: Did you get the milk though?

Adam: I got the milk.

Behati: Awesome.

Adam: I love you.

Behati: Love you. *turns over and curls into Adam*

Adam: Goodnight. *closes his eyes*