this is me

So not sure if it is just the change of the year or moon or what it is, but lately my sexual energy has been through the freakin roof. I feel like I am always ready to go, and opened to new things and exploring new turn ons. I feel a little torn because I have always been more vanilla and repressed sexually, and now I feel like a floodgate has opened and there are some things I struggle with feeling ashamed about. I will admit I am wearing my vibrator and husband out a bit. Well it will be interesting to see where the new year and this path lead me.

Growing up there waa such a fine line between ego, vanity, and self esteem. So I tempered myself to not really have any self esteem. To not think of myself as pretty or beautiful, because I thought it would make me conceated and vain. That coupled with abusive relationships has made my self esteem almost non existant over the years. My poor husband does everything he can to make me feel beautiful and show he much he worships me. But it is still hard to think of myself that way. So I started a new project this week, that everyday I would take a "selfie" and post it to facebook saying one thing I love about it and myself. So far so good. I am feeling a little better about myself, the response and support has been amazing and some are saying I am inspiring. I still feel that tug saying "oh no don't get to comfortable and full of yourself, don't be vain" but I am trying to look past it a bit. Does anyone else suffer from such things?