Admirations, Experiences & Expressions

I still think of him.

No more relationship.

No more friendships.

Just me.

This is how it's to be. Thick and thin, just me.

I was there for a while, in fact.

In the past, I decided to do something about it. It took me three years of even greater humiliation than before to remake myself; steel is forged in fire.

Lately, I've regressed. I'm not proud of it. I'm ashamed.

Yes, there are outside factors that contribute to that, but that's how it was before as well. There's always things that contribute to your failures, but there's never outside factors that contribute to your success.

You have to do the hard work yourself. Breaks don't come by themselves.

Well, I don't know why I've been sort of waiting... nothing is gonna happen. I've grown complacent and in my conformity, I've become what I swore I'd never go back to.

Time to get up again.

Time to sweat

Time to push.

Time to bleed.

No time for tears.

No feeling sorry for myself.

Fuck that. It's never done anything for me or anyone.

I'm not going back to invisibility again. So stoke the fires, because this one's gonna be harder still. By the way life goes, this won't be the last time I have to re-make myself, and it's definitely not the last time I'm trying.

Still waiting.

Still screaming inside.