E•MO•TION

5 days before your period is like top 10 worst times in human history

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.

the thing about having a job is i just don’t want to do it. Sorry

i would rather be doing literally anything else. to be honest and open with everyone

every ad is a personal insult to everyone who sees it and i’m not kidding

I'm paying my internet bill for you to use MY bandwidth to put your horrid images and videos on MY screen, draining MY device's power, wasting MY time? 10000 giant murder hornets forever.

idk who needs to hear this today but you don't have to marry a man if you don't want to

this is not just about potential lesbians or bi women btw. straight women also do not have to marry a man. you can be with a man without getting married. you can stay single. you can do what my ostensibly straight mom did and form a long-term platonic partnership with a woman. if the idea of being married to a man seems scary or makes you uncomfortable you simply never have to do it!

finding enough plastic in human brains to make a spoon is certainly a shocking headline but I just don't have it in me to be shocked anymore. not only can I see the evidence of spoon brain all around me I can literally feel it in myself

don’t kill yourself because the internet is going to be really funny when Elon gets assassinated

THE ORIGINAL?!?!