Marcus Valerius Martialis

The works of Martial translated for fun, shit n giggles

Book of Spectacles

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII - XVIII - XIX - XX - XXI - XXII - XXIII - XXIV - XXV - XXVI - XXVII - XXVIII - XXIX - XXX - XXXI - XXXII - XXXIII - XXXIV - XXXV - XXXVI

Epigrams

Book I

Prelude - I - II - III

Book II

Making way for someone better is the second prize of bravery.

How heavy is the victory palm, when an inferior competitor has it.

Forgive my improv: when someone works fast to satisfy you,

Caesar, he doesn't deserve to have you get mad.

In this place Augustus' work of building a navy took place

and stirr up the sea with the sound of the shiphorn.

How much is all of that compared to our Caesar? On the waters

Thetis and Galatea see unknown beasts;

Triton sees boiling charriots on the sea dust

and thinks his master's horses are running:

and while Nereus prepares beast fights on fierce ships,

he dreads walking through the fluid waters.

Whatever we see in the circus and the amphitheater,

the rich water offered to you, Caesar.

Not a word from Lake Fucinus and Nero's awful pools:

time will remember only this naumachia.

When a hurried antelope flees the fast hounds

and goes through obstacles with varied skill,

kneeling before Caesar's feet and looking like a beggar,

it stops, and the dogs do not touch their prey.

(...)

this one, having recognized her ruler, receives a gift.

Caesar has divine might: it is sacred, a sacred power,

believe me: beasts do not learn to lie.

If the ancient times had known Carpophorus, Caesar,

foreign lands would not have feared the boar of Parthaon,

or Marathon its bull, cast in shades Nemee its lion,

Arcas its wild boar of Mount Maenalus.

If he took up his weapons, the hydra's death would have been a one-time thing,

and the whole Chimera would would have been stricken by him one single time.

He could harness the fiery bulls without Circe's help,

he could defeat both of Pasiphae's beasts.

If the old tale of the sea monster happened again,

he would free Hesione and Andromeda all by himself.

The glory of Hercules' fame is to be reckoned with:

it's a bigger feat to have defeated twenty wild beasts at the same time.

When Priscus made the fight drag on, then Verus did as well,

and for so long Mars's favor was equal for each one,

many times a discharge was asked for these men by a loud cheer;

but Caesar himself obeyed his own law;

which was to battle until a finger was raised, shield put down:

he offered many times, as was permitted, plates and gifts.

Eventually a solution was found to settle fairly:

they fought as equals and they fell as equals.

Caesar sent to each one the staff of freedom and the palm of victory:

this prize spoke of their bravery and skill.

This never happened outside of your reign, Caesar:

when two gladiators fought, two ended up winning.

A well-taught choir of Nereids played on the whole sea

and painted the easy waters in various figures.

There was a threatening trident with a pointy edge, a curved anchor:

we believed to see oars and a ship,

the shining constellation of the Gemini, a sailor's blessing,

and wide swelling sails, clearly bending.

Who invented these big performances in the fluid waters?

Either Thetis taught these games, or she was educated in them.

As the brave Leandrus made his way to his sweet love,

and, already worn out by the swelling waters, he was getting overwhelmed,

they say the poor boy cried farewell to the threatening waves:

"Spare me on my way to her, drown me on the way back!"

The waves spared you in the night, Leandrus

Don't be surprised by it: this was Caesar's sea.

If someone got to their seat late, a spectator from faraway shores,

For whom this was the first day of the sacred games,

don't be misled by the ships of the sea-warrior goddess Enyo

nor by the ocean-like water: this place used to be land.

Don't believe me? Look, while the waves tire Mars out:

in a moment, you'll say: "this used to be the sea".

While the terrified handlers needle the rhinoceros

because the beast's anger did not rise,

no hope of seeing the fights promised to Mars;

but finally the wrath it was known for came back.

with its double horns it lifts up a massive bear just like

a bull throws to the stars the strawmen offered to it:

with the same firm throw, Carpophorus' strong hand

directs the alpine spears, still a young man.

The rhino easily carries two young bulls on its neck,

the fierce gazelle and the bison folded in front of it:

fleeing before it, the lion ran headfirst into spears.

Come on now, audience, try to complain about the wait!

The earth that vomited from its open mouth

the bear slaying Orpheus, came from Eurydice.

Everything that mount Rhodopus had seen in Orpheus' story,

they say, Caesar, that the arena showed it to you.

Rocks crawled and a magic forest ran,

you'd have believed it to be the wood of the Hesperides.

There were all kinds of wild beasts mixed with cattle,

and over the poet's head, many birds circled,

but he laid on the ground, mauled by an ungrateful bear.

This version is as true as the legend is.

When some begged for Myrinus, the others for Triumphus,

Caesar promised them both with each of his hands.

He couldn't have ended that fun beef better.

What a sweet idea from the invincible prince!

The bull that, just goaded through the whole arena by flames,

had sent pieces of dummies flying to the stars,

finally met his end, attacked by horned tusks,

while thinking he could easily take an elephant.

Used to safely licking her master's right hand,

a tigress, the rare glory of the mountains by the Caspian Sea,

mangled in a rage a wild lion with her rabid teeth:

that's new! never ever seen before.

This audacity had nothing like it when she lived in the high forests:

now that she's here with us, it's even more savage.