tw: death mention

0-16

Marcie came as a slightly late Christmas present to a mother with dreams for a girl who would reach beyond the stars. A laughing, smiling little girl who wanted for nothing and gave little fuss. She played her part well; sitting through lessons in piano, voice and cello on top of dance for years. There was no complaining allowed, no going outside of what was planned out for her. Hard work was rewarded greatly but always always expected… On the occasion that Marcie was allowed to actually be herself, or even act like a regular kid, she found herself feeling more rambunctious, loud, and overall a sarcastic shit. But after one of her friends mother’s had a conversation with her own, that was quick to die out. She learned how to make people see a certain side of her, how to change like a chameleon changes their skin.

Marcie’s  father was a man with habits that required a good poker face, a lot of white lies and a “grass is always greener…” attitude. Family felt like a trap and it was the one thing she agreed with the man on. Family began to feel like a restriction of self, high expectations and mostly feeling as though there was no real escape. A person can’t help but feel restless when things aren’t ‘right’. The kicker for her, though, was nothing ever felt ‘right’. She was always striving to find her place, her worth, somewhere to actually call hers.

She floated from friend group to friend group, hanging just on the outside of everything to be seen as someone who was kind and caring but never enough for people to find out who she really was.

16.5-21

for a very long while, marcie felt nothing but anger at her situation. after her mothers death her father decided to take the two of them back to his hometown. the one he had sworn he never wanted to see again. she managed to keep the facade going, pretending to be the perfect kid. finished school, went to the college in town, found people to be around enough to call friends.  then at the drop of a dime, she exploded. the world caved in on her, the world was no longer perfect. she’d blown up on her dad; blaming him for her mother’s accident. blaming him for why she wasn’t able to feel settled into the world. marcie dropped out of school, deciding that she really didn’t want to waste money when she didn’t know what she wanted from  life. she had begun to distance herself in fear of taking any emotions she had out on the people around her. she isolated herself, no longer able to keep up the front that she was just this sweet polite girl. at 21 she stopped talking to her father all together.

22-NOW

it had lasted three years, she would see him in town and would walk the other direction. her father was someone she would see all of her faults in, someone who reminded her of the person her mother tried to mold her into. and at times she was still the girl who had  impeccable manners, that was gentle and well spoken. essentially the embodiment of “sit still look pretty”. Basically, you couldn’t tell the difference between her and a nice vase of daisies. This was the version of herself that she wanted to bury but it came out when she met new people, people who had only seen that side of her and especially when she visits her father now.  slowly however she began to settle into the person she wanted to be. inside she felt as though she should be  bigger than life, to be the person to go dancing in the rain, to have awful pop music blasting throughout the house, laugh at everything and then nothing,  to have tears in her eyes from feeling too much, daydreaming about running away or at least going on a country wide road trip. This was the version of herself that she wanted to bring to the light and she worked hard at expressing it. 

photography sort of fell into her lap. after she gave up on college, she became a nanny. she had loved working one on one with kids but didnt want to really keep with schooling so it worked out perfectly. one day the family she worked for gifted her their old digital camera to test out. she found a calling. since the age of 24 she has been building up her business and has been working on getting a studio space.

Connection Ideas:

Romance: FWB? secret affair? unrequited crush/love? slow burn? Who knows! (i typically like seeing how chemistry works for romantic connections– but i don’t mind plotting stuff out either!)  

Volunteer Pals: every two weeks marcie does volunteer activities through an organization, your muse could be a part of that organization and that’s how they met or could just be a friend wanting to keep her company and get some extra volunteer hours in too.  

Brunch dates: these two have found themselves grabbing brunch one or two times a month to catch up. busy lives means they don’t have much time for constant communication, but they refuse to let the other fall to the wayside. could there be more effort put into their relationship? what were they before life got hectic? 

Close friends: Confidants? Reckless Adventures? sipping wine and sharing memes til all hours of the night? sharing every fault and fear and joke? 

Muse: Someone who Marcie always goes to when they need to shoot, someone she can’t get enough photos of.