MarchEclipse

Reminds me of Itachi and Izumi sharing dangos

What teaching roles would the Akatsuki take on if they were forced to become high school teachers?

1. Pein

Teaches: History. His voice sends people to sleep.

Pein: “And in the Ancient Roman period the life expectancy was only 20 to 30 years. This has many contributing factors. Such as, but not limited to…”

Student: “Oh my god why won’t he talk faster.”

Pein: “No talking in my class. And don’t blaspheme my name like that.”

2. Konan

Teaches: Careers. She’s a little too motherly.

Konan: “And when you finish high school, you can go and do whatever you set your mind to.”

Student: “Can I become a chef?”

Konan: “Of course!”

Student #2: “Can I become a mob boss???”

Konan: “You can do whatever your heart tells you to hun.”

3. Itachi

Teaches: Computing and I.T. Well he tries at least.

Itachi: “Okay…..so today you’ll be using Photoshop to create a website design.”

Student: “You just opened up Microsoft Paint.”

Itachi: “Yes…I meant to do that…..give me a second.”

Student: “Can you even see the screen clearly?”

Itachi: “Honestly? No. I am going blind. Just do whatever.”

4. Kisame

Teaches: Gym. He has a pretty fierce rivalry with the other gym teacher.

Kisame: “Right! Let’s do some good old rope climbing today!”

Student: “Mr Gai had us do that yesterday.”

Kisame: “…..Right. Then we’ll be using the horse vault instead.”

Student: “Also yesterday. He said something about not remembering if there was another gym teacher or not so we just did everything.”

Kisame: “OH FOR FU-”

5. Hidan

Teaches: Religion. Even though he’s just a substitute. 

Hidan: “And THAT is why you should hail Lord Jashin as your saviour.”

Student: “Mr Hidan this is an English Literature class.”

Hidan: “Do I give a fuck? No. Shut the fuck up.”

6. Kakuzu

Teaches: Economics. Yes it’s as terrible as you think.

Kakuzu: “Setting up an interest account will not only teach you to save money but will also earn you even MORE money in the long run.”

Student: “Thanks for the advice! But the exam is about taxes so I really think we should be-”

Kakuzu: “Taxes are the devil. I will have no part in teaching it. If you fail then that’s your own problem”

7. Deidara

Teaches: Art. As a substitute. He hates being the substitute. 

Deidara: “Alright kiddos get out your clay we’re gonna be making SCULPTURES.”

Student: “But Mr Sasori has been teaching us still life painting so shouldn’t we be continuing that?”

Deidara: “Ha ha, Mr Sasori can suck a dick because he’s an idiot. I said get out your clay.”

8. Sasori

Teaches: Art. 

Sasori: “Sorry I was away. I had a nasty head cold and- what the hell are those?”

Student: “Um…..Mr Deidara told us to make clay sculptures yesterday and it was actually really fun! We’re hoping we can finish-”

Sasori: “Throw those hideous things in the trash where they belong.”

9. Tobi/Obito

Teaches: Drama. As two different “brothers”.

Tobi: “Okay! Let’s practise our facial expressions now! Pull the stupidest face you can and your partner has to try not to laugh! Then we’re gonna practise ANIMAL NOISES!”

Student: “Holy shit Mr Uchiha’s brother is on some sort of drug or something.”

Tobi: “What did you say about my brother?? That he’s super handsome?? Yeah I know!”

10. Zetsu

Teaches: Biology. Things tend to go missing.

Zetsu: “Okay. Today we are dissecting frogs.”

Student: “Ewww….cool! Where are they?”

Zetsu: “I…..didn’t eat them. I swear.”

Fandom: urgh, how awfull! She’s such a stalker! Her crush is really disgusting! She’s just obseesd on him! This “love’ spoils all her development! Why mangakas always create characters like this, it’s abominable!

Another animanga girl: *is not in love with male character, but have a good relationship with him, cares about him, protects him*

Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you:

Looks like he could kill you, could actually kill you:

Looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll:

Sinnamon roll:

Naruto: those who abandon their friends are trash but those who hate Sasuke are worse than trash

Sakura: …

Kakashi: …

Kakashi: that’s not what I said

Ship: Sasusaku (one shot)

::

Let’s see what else I need…

I pushed my shopping cart up and down the aisle, dodging chaotic shoppers left and right. A supermarket on Thursdays were usually rather quiet, but today, the entire city just so happened to be buying their groceries for the week.

I didn’t blame them, although I did wish that I had gotten a heads up about the traffic. Shopping under these conditions sure stressed me out. Sometimes I’d walk out of the store because of all the pushy people around me. But this time, I needed groceries for the week.

Running through my mind once more, I tried to figure out what I needed. I had the necessities in my cart such as milk, eggs, bread, however; I knew that I was missing something important.

Did I need avocados?

THE SEXY SERIES 

My feels are all over the place and I can’t even remember how I finished editing this and and I just ugh. Damn big bad wolf.

Take a chopstick for each player, write “Osama” or “King” on one of them, and number the others from 1 upwards. Then shake the cup holding the chopsticks, so the numbers are concealed and random, and everybody draws a stick, without telling anyone their number. The lucky person with the “Osama” chopstick gets to be the King. The Osama decides on a dare and then states the numbers of the players who must perform it, (without knowing who they are).

In this case, the Osama stick was conveniently drew by Hotaru making her the king. Look. At. That. Coincidence~ Ha ha ha! Just imagine their dread while the Evil Queen states the numbers of her slaves. Apparently getting picked by Hotaru equals doom.

Of course the Blackmail Queen won’t let this money-making opportunity slip by so even without knowing the faces behind the unlucky numbers 1 2 3 4,she dared them to cross-dress from head to toe. Now I strongly worship the ground Hotaru walks on by coming up with this bright idea. No doubt, the inventor is genius.

Aside from calculating her future profit at the back of her head, Hotaru didn’t fail at pointing out how ridiculous they looked. How busy her two hands are says it all. 

Can we just take a moment of silence and picture how Tono laughs out loud? I mean, with that mocking eyebrows, teary eyes and fist pumping I think he couldn’t frigging stand upright anymore as he makes fun of the quartet. Calm yo tears Tono, be freaking thankful Hotaru didn’t pick yer number.

Correct me if I’m wrong but is that Hayate clutching his sides shaking with laughter? Poor guy got the shock of his life. Speaking of dumbfounded, there’s Misaki-chan wondering how she’s supposed to react. I won’t blame her if inside she asks herself, what did I like about Tsubasa again?

Aww blushing Nobara looks shy while taking a photo I bet she was like, I wish to see Rei cross-dress too. Tch Rei be ready. Because you’ll never know what a hopeful and desperate Nobara can do. *wink*

Now this is the nth time I wish they were real because I’ll be one of the thousand of netizens who would make this lovely photo viral all over the web. Seriously.

Moving on the game, the chopsticks are gathered again after the deed, and the process is repeated. Usually everybody gets a chance to be the King, and players relish the chance to exact revenge on those who tormented them in previous rounds of the game.

This time Izumi gets to be the King. Naturally the most mischievous order is to make one kiss somebody. Without thinking that he might pick Mikan or Yuka, he cheerfully dared numbers 5 and 3 to kiss. His oozing excitement to make fun and embarrass others overpowered his capability of seeing the risks of casually selling his own daughter or wife. I bet Jinno would be shaking his head at the ever carefree Izumi.

Realizing the wrong move of his life, Izumi jumps to save his daughter from the clutches of Natsume. Yep the same daughter he ordered to share a kiss with number 5. Well of course Natsume didn’t waste any precious second after Izumi said the order so he willingly sweeps Mikan off her feet. And that was the day Izumi learned that karma is a btch.

The ever supportive Kaoru was like, No worries it’s just a game for fun. But I secretly wonder how shallow a sexual tension for her. It seemed like if ever the two kids kiss for 30 seconds that will still pass for her as a game for fun. 

Then we have Yuka torn between stopping Natsume or Izumi. And Ruka who probably got the most intimate image he has ever seen. The poor guy has mixed emotions watching the love of his life and his best friend. Where’s the Watching-Over-Ruka Group when you need them??

secretly a mermaid/vampire/werewolf/other mythical creature!au

literally just been turned into a demon like five seconds ago help i’m freaking out oh god what do i do!au

literally just been introduced to hunting oh god this person stabbed something and now they want me to help!au